Like always, thank you for the reviews! Not as many as previous chapters, I hope that's because you're all still stunned by the kiss and not because you got bored with where the story is going.
Anyway, back at Court. Away from the familiar and safe environment at the Academy, back to where everything went wrong. If I was Rose, I might have a hard time dealing with it too.

Have a lovely weekend everyone!

Chapter 20

DPOV

I've been thinking who could have killed Queen Tatiana, but I honestly don't know. I'm sure she had plenty of enemies, and some of her political adversaries had the motive to do it, but the point with royals is that they'd never get their hands dirty. One of them could have hired someone to do it, but a professional could've made it look like an accident, or would have made sure there was absolutely no evidence left behind. A professional wouldn't have framed Rose.
I'm starting to think that might be the key to finding the killer. The guardians are focussed on who killed Tatiana and they're finding absolutely nothing. Too many people with the motive to do it, yet not enough evidence to connect any of them. But why would anyone frame Roza? What if, apart from getting Tatiana out of the way, whoever did this has a personal reason to blame it on Rose of all people.

As far as I know Rose doesn't have any enemies like that, except perhaps Victor Dashkov. Considering the fact that she broke him out of prison though, I doubt he hates her quite that much at the moment.
During her time in Russia she did make a name for herself amongst the Strigoi, and I'm sure many of them would like to see her dead, but they'd go for a much more direct approach. Either kill Rose, or draw her out by taking Vasilisa like I did. Framing Rose calls for a subtlety and planning that they would never waste their energy on. Besides, if they'd try and get back at Roza, they'd want to see the results first hand. Getting her executed wouldn't satisfy their thirst for revenge.

Neither of those options seems likely, and also it doesn't quite add up. Whoever did this must be someone who knew Roza's routine at Court. Someone who knows her well enough to know that she had a stake with distinctive markings, and where she kept it. All in all, I come to the uncomfortable conclusion that the actual murderer must be someone who is fairly close to Rose. Which means it must be someone I know as well. But I can't think of any of our friends who would be capable of murder, or has a reason to dislike Roza. Perhaps some outsider just kept a very close watch on her before trying to use her as a scapegoat? I can't rule that out completely.

I'm not getting anywhere with this line of thinking. For now I just decide to keep my eyes open. If it is an outsider, the guardians are still our best bet at catching him. If it really is someone closer to Rose, which seems completely unlikely, they're still around and are bound to betray themselves at some point. If there is some hint that one of our aquintances is to blame, I'll be there to see it and to hold them accountable.

My first priority at the moment is to talk to Roza, and over the next few days I keep trying. Either she's really busy, or she's conciously avoiding me. I have no luck in finding her at her room, I don't run into her anywhere at Court, nor do I see any sign of her during my morning run or evening workouts. I would almost think she left Court again, but apparently Eddie has seen her, and Vasilisa talked to her on the phone a couple of times and met up with her once while I was off duty. It's incredibly frustrating. Not to mention the fact that I just got used to seeing Roza every day again, and suddenly going a few days without so much as a glimpse of her is putting me on edge.

We've been back at Court for almost a week when I finally see her again. As I walk into the gym on Friday evening, after a long day of accompanying Vasilisa to political meetings, I hear Roza's laughter. I would recognize that sound anywhere, and I've really missed it. My heart jumps a little and I look around to find her. When I finally see her, my heart stops altogether. Roza is standing with several guardians, boys close to her age mostly. They're talking and having fun. It's a similar scene to what I used to see in class, Rose making jokes and Mason, Eddie and a few others crowding around her.

I clench my fists and try to look calm and collected, but then I see Rose flip her hair over her shoulder and I feel my control slipping. I've been looking all over for her, wanting to talk about what happened. I've been worried about her. Yet here she is, flirting with a group of.. boys! I can see several of them eyeing her, probably trying to find the quickest way to get into her pants. She deserves so much better than some horny teenager who's just looking to get laid. Roza is the most amazing woman I know. She deserves better than the pain I've put her through, but I would do anything for her. I'm sure none of these kids have any idea how truly special she is. If any of them hurt her, they better hope they don't run into me in a quiet alley.

I was planning to do some weight training, but I turn sharply, changing my direction to the punching bags. Eddie is there and as I walk past him he sends me a sympathetic look, but I don't acknowledge him. I drop my bag, let my frustration take over and take it all out on the punching bag.

When I've gotten rid of most of my emotions I stop and head back in the direction of my room. It's close to sunrise and Court is quiet. I spot a bench in a deserted courtyard and sit down, trying to calm myself completely. I've always found it easier to think when I'm outside, rather than locking myself in my room. Maybe it's because I grew up in a house full of women and things were rarely quiet.

I think about Roza. I was so happy to hear her laughing. I've missed the sound of her laughter and seeing a smile on her face. When we first met she often found something to laugh about, even if it was just some lame joke, and it suited her much better than the serious and quiet woman she has been for the past months. But seeing her with those boys hurt, especially when I realize she really has been avoiding me since we returned from the academy. I know I made mistakes, but just the idea that some day one of these immature guys might get to kiss her is enough to make me see red. I much prefered Adrian, at least he's a decent guy and genuinely cares for Rose.

I take a deep breath, trying to control my temper. I suppose I should be glad that our time at St. Vladimir's seems to have made a difference. Rose is acting much more like her old self, and that does truly make me happy. Seeing her in the company of other men though, flirting and laughing.. Well that feels like she's kneed me in the groin all over again. Actually, it's even more painful than that. I wonder if this is a direct result of me kissing her. The time we spent together and that kiss clearly awakened some feelings withing her. But what if, rather than bring us closer together, it somehow confirmed for her that there's no way for us to work? What if she wants to move on and start fresh, without all the history and the drama that's connected to me?

I'm not sure what I should do next. Rose doesn't want to be around me at the moment and I should respect that. Should I leave or at least keep my distance so she can move on with her life? I shake my head at the thought. There's just no way I'm going to give up on Roza without a fight. At the very least I still want to find an opportunity to talk to her, to clear some things up. If, after that, she decides we're truly done, I'll give her the space she wants. I will always be around though, waiting to see if she changes her mind, or needs my help.

"Are you okay?"
I nearly jump, I didn't realize someone else walked into the courtyard. Some guardian I am. Then I recognize the voice and that startles me even more. I look up into dark brown eyes. I'm speechless at the fact that she approaches me, so I just shrug in answer to her question.
"Sooo.. I guess that means you're not."
"No not really." There's no point in lying to Rose. She's always been able to read me in a way nobody else can. Besides, trying to keep my feelings hidden didn't do either of us any good in the past.

To my surprise she sits down next to me. She doesn't speak and for a while we just sit there, watching the sun come up over the horizon. It's such a peaceful moment, just me, Roza and the sunrise. Everything that happened, all the unresolved issues between us, it all fades away for a while and I enjoy the moment. At some point I look at her and I see she's leaned back and is basking in the sunlight. I do the same thing and it feels wonderful. Being out in the sun is still amazing to me after the time I spent as Strigoi.

I freeze for a second when I feel something on my shoulder, but when I open my eyes I find out Roza has leaned her head against it, her eyes still closed. I can barely breathe. This is the first time she instigated any contact between us since the church. Up until now, every interaction and conversation, as well as the kiss, was started by me. But tonight she made the decision to come to me, and she chose to make physical contact. I smile and relax, resting my head on top of hers.

When the sun is fully risen she sighs.
"It's nice being out in the sun."
"It is. It's still a little unreal to me. I should be used to it again by now, but after the times I've hidden from the sunrise, it's amazing to be able to see it in full."
"I didn't really think of that." She sounds curious as she asks: "Does it feel different now than it used to? I'm sure you saw your fair share of sunrises at St. Vladimir's, between the patrols and training me at all hours."
I give her question some honest thought before answering: "I've always loved the sunrise. But yes it feels different now. I used to take it for granted, something I could see whenever I wanted to. Now I'm thankful everytime I see it, and amazed at the beauty of it." I pause before adding: "I feel much the same when I see you."

She sits back up, and I instantly miss the feel of her head against my shoulder. "Dimitri.."
"We need to talk Rose."
"I.. yes we do.. But not now. Just give me some time.. please?" She sounds pleading, and when I look at her she doesn't meet my eyes but is looking at the ground instead.
"If that's what you need, of course. I'll wait until you're ready Roza."
She looks up at me, relief clearly visible on her face. "Thank you."
I smile at her, before tilting my head back towards the sun again. We sit there in silence, watching the changing colors in the sky and our surroundings taking shape in the morning light. Rose doesn't say anything else, but after a few minutes she leans her head against my shoulder again. I can't keep myself from smiling widely. She might not be ready to talk to me yet, but at least she's not running away from me anymore.

Her hand is lying on the bench between us, and I can't resist moving my hand towards hers, feeling even happier when I touch it and she doesn't pull away. She even slips her hand into mine, intertwining our fingers. Then she gasps and I instantly worry I went too far, until she asks: "What happened to your hand?"
I look down to where my hand is resting on hers and then I see the blood. My knuckles are split and there's bruising around them. I remember going straight for the punching bags when I entered the gym. In my haste to get rid of my anger and frustration, I completely forgot to wrap my hands or wear gloves.
"It's nothing."
She ignores this, lifting my hand to get a better look at it. To be honest it looks pretty bad, and now that I know it's there I'm starting to feel the sting.
"Show me your other hand." Roza might've said it quietly, but it's clearly an order. I reluctantly hold up my other hand and we can both see it's even worse.
"You should get that cleaned."
"I'll do it when I get back to my room. Really Rose, it's fine. It looks worse than it feels."

She stands up and I inwardly curse myself. Roza was finally allowing me to be near her and now she got distracted because I was stupid enough to injure myself. I feel like an idiot. That is, until she tries to pull me up and says: "Come on, you don't want those wounds to close without disinfecting them."
I'm too stunned to reply but I let her pull me up and she starts walking towards the nearest building, still holding my hand.

Rose keeps walking until we're outside her room. She opens the door, tells me to take a seat and disappears into the tiny bathroom. While she can't see me I use the opportunity to look around. I would've expected something much like her dorm room at the academy. Messy, with personal belongings all over the place and an unmade bed. Her room looks very similar to mine though, bed made, no clothes in sight. The only things that mark this room as hers is a stack of books about animal behaviour on the single bookshelf near the window, and two picture frames next to it. I can still hear Rose rumaging in the bathroom so I quickly walk over there to take a closer look at the pictures.

The frames themselves are dusty, like they were stashed away and nobody cleaned them in a long time. The glass has recently been wiped clean though, and I take a look at the first picture. I realize I've seen it before, back at the Academy. Rose and Vasilisa, wearing fairy costumes while smiling at the camera. If I recall correctly this was taken at Halloween while they were on the run. I turn to the second frame, curious to see who else earned a place up here, and see... myself. It's a picture of me and Roza, taken somewhere last year. Rose is laughing at me, and even though I'm clearly trying not to, the corners of my mouth are turned up while I look down at her. I don't remember this picture being taken. I pick up the frame and am so focussed on looking at it, that I don't notice Roza returning or walking over, until she speaks up right next to me.
"Eddie gave it to me. He took pictures of everyone during our senior year, but after Mason died he didn't look at his camera for months. He found it again as he was packing up before moving to Court."

I look at her but she's as focussed on the picture as I was moments ago, a sad little smile on her face. She takes it out of my hands and carefully places it back on the shelf before saying: "I've got the first aid kit."
"This really isn't necessary Rose, I'm fine."
She rolls her eyes. "I know you grew up without access to modern medicine, but over here in the civilized world, we tend to think cleaning open wounds is a good idea. Sit."
I let out a surprised laugh. If there's one thing I didn't see coming, it was one of Roza's jokes about my homeland. I sit down and she pulls up another chair, sits in front of me and starts to wipe away the blood with a wet cloth.
"I know you know Siberia isn't stuck in the middle ages Rose."
She shrugs and continues cleaning my wounds.

After cleaning and disinfecting my hands she takes a few bandages out of the kit. "Why didn't you wear wraps or gloves?"
"I didn't think about it."
She looks up from my hands, straight into my eyes. "That doesn't sound like you."
"I was.. distracted.."
She is still looking at me, as if trying to figure out how this could've happened. She is right after all, this isn't like me at all. I always used to tell her how important it was to be prepared, to use the proper precautions and equipment when training so she didn't injure herself. I know she isn't going to let it go, so I look down at my hands, one clean but obviously bruised, the other partially covered in bandages, and murmur: "I saw you, laughing with... anyway, I started working out without thinking about the wraps."

I continue to stare at my hands, ashamed of my unwarranted jealousy. It's really none of my business what Rose does or who she hangs out with. I gave up the right to have an opinion about it when I pushed her away. Rose doesn't answer, but after ten seconds or so she continues wrapping my hand. She picks up some new bandages before moving on to the other. "Thomas made a joke about one of the others and it was funny. That's all it was Dimitri, it didn't mean anything."
Even though I had no right to be jealous, I am relieved to hear her reassuring me. I sneak a glance up at her, and as if she feels it, she looks up and hesitantly smiles at me.
"You don't have to explain yourself to me Rose. I had no right to be upset about it. You should do whatever makes you happy."
She looks back down, she's nearly finished with the bandages. "I'm happy to explain to you that what you saw didn't mean anything." She fastens the end of the binding but doesn't let go of my hand. "There, all done."

A lock of hair is hiding part of her face from me. Without thinking, I reach out and brush it back, carefully tucking it behind her ear. She looks up at me.
"Thank you Roza."
"You're welcome," she answers softly, our eyes still locked.
We sit there, drinking eachother in, until I see her suppressing a yawn. It's getting really late and we both have to work tomorrow.
I unwillingly let go of her hand and stand up. "I should go. Will I see you again soon? Maybe on my morning run?" I'm unsure of her answer, but I have to try.
Rose gets up as well. "Yes, I'll see you soon."

I smile at her and quickly lean in and press my lips to her forehead. When I step back, her eyes are closed. I reluctantly turn around and move to the door. As I put my hand on the doorknob I hear a whisper behind me.
"Dimitri?"
I turn around to look at her. She's still standing in the same spot, her arms wrapped around herself. She looks strangely vulnerable. "Yes Roza?"
"Would you mind.. Will you stay with me? I don't want to be alone." I'm momentarily stunned by her unexpected request. In the second it takes me to pull myself together I can already see her shoulders sagging and she starts turning away from me, as if she's expecting me to turn her down.

I walk back over to her and gently wrap my arms around her, leaning my head on top of hers. As I feel her relax a little and lean into me, I answer.
"Of course I'll stay Roza. I will always be here if you want me to, you only have to ask."