Severus

"Are you sure you want to come?" Amaryllis looked in the mirror and applied a dark burgundy colour to her lips. Her friend Elissa had invited the two of them for dinner, along with her and Amaryllis's other friends.

Severus leaned against the wall next to her vanity. "Yes" he sighed. "If you don't want me to come, just say so"

She turned to him quickly.

"Of course not, Severus! I want you to come" she said hastily. "It's just that…I know you don't like to socialise much. I don't want to force you."

"It's fine."

Amaryllis took Severus's hands and pulled him closer to her and stood on her toes so she could lightly kiss his hooked nose. When she stood back down, she smiled, and the golden-brown of her eyes glimmered towards his black. Severus fiercely pulled her close to him again and kissed her deeply, feeling almost animalistic with her, as she was fragile in his arms. He felt her hands pull at his coat and at once he cold recall what Sirius had advised him. With all his strength, he pulled away from her, and took a step back. Amaryllis looked at him with confusion; the area around her lips were smeared with the burgundy colour.

"What?" she asked breathlessly. She took a step forward, but he turned around.

"It's almost time to go" he said with his back to her.

Amaryllis walked around him so that she could face him again. "Did I do something wrong?" she asked.

"No."

"Then?"

Severus remained silent.

"Look, I know I'm not the best kisser, but –"

"Absolutely not" said Severus at once, and before Amaryllis could finish her sentence. "You are more than adequate." He hesitated. "Black – he told me that you are…inexperienced."

"Oh, you mean that I'm a virgin?" she scoffed. She let out a frustrated breath when Severus made no response. "You know that I'm an adult woman, right? – Tonks is literally the same age as me and she has a child, so contrary to what you and Sirius think, I can actually make decisions and judgments pretty well on my own."

"Clearly not" scoffed Severus. He touched her chin and showed her the burgundy colour.

Amaryllis narrowed her eyes at him before retreating into the bathroom. When she came back, she brought a towel and wiped the bottom part of his face.

"Speak for yourself" she said, showing him the burgundy blemished towel.

….

Much to Severus's relief, there were only a handful of people at dinner. They were dressed very casually, and Severus was thankful that Amaryllis had advised him to leave his cape at home.

He was introduced to Elissa and her husband Jacob, and another couple; Stu and Jimmy. Severus had never met a same sex partnership before. Truthfully, he had barely any exposure to anything outside of the heterosexual spectrum – aside from the odd, ill-mannered quips by his drunk father. He, of course, did not share the same opinion of his father, as he did with virtually every opinion of Tobias Snape's. His thoughts wandered to the Wizarding World – it was quite reserved. Perhaps there were many who fell on to the same spectrum as Stu and Jimmy, though, felt restricted by the narrow-mindedness of the elders; some wizards and witches after all could live far beyond 150 years. But the atmosphere in the present dining room felt free and natural, no person paying special attention to Stu and Jimmy's movements as they put their arm around each other and called each other names of an affectionate nature. Severus thought about Amaryllis; she carried herself with an unphased, sensitive and accepting nature and, now, meeting her friends, he understood why.

She nudged him lightly with her elbow, and jerked her head to Elissa, who was looking at Severus with a large grin on her face.

"I was just saying that I can't believe I'm meeting you, Severus!" she exclaimed. "Amaryllis has been pining over you for months."

"I – absolutely – was – not" spluttered Amaryllis, as the others burst out laughing. Severus noticed that she was tapping her foot underneath her chair.

"How did you meet?" Jimmy asked interestedly.

"At school" Elissa answered quickly, before Severus or Amaryllis could even open their mouth. "They work together."

"Well this is the first time we've ever met a boyfriend" said Stu.

Amaryllis, who had just put her wine glass to her lips, spat the contents immediately and coughed dramatically, all while shooting daggers in the direction of Stu. Severus was amused.

"Fine, I mean partner" Stu corrected himself.

"Give her a break" laughed Jacob. He stood up and poured more wine in her glass.

At the very moment, the doorbell rang and Severus noticed that Jacob's smile instantly slid off his face and he quickly looked at Elissa, who in turn looked quite alarmed. He left the table quickly and came back into the dining room with a new guest. Severus felt Amaryllis tense next to him, and her foot tapped faster.

"Oh, hey Brodie" said Jimmy. He and Stu stood up, somewhat awkwardly, and shook Brodie's hand in turn. Brodie looked at Severus curiously.

"Didn't think you'd make it tonight" said Elissa, her tone was strained.

"Yeah, knocked off work pretty early." He took a seat on the end of the table next to Jacob. Severus noticed that Brodie's eyes jumped back and forth between himself and Amaryllis.

"How was work?" asked Amaryllis. Her voice sounded smaller than usual. Brodie shrugged in response.

There was not much small talk or joking after that. The atmosphere in the room became painfully uncomfortable, even for Severus.

Finally, when everybody was ready to leave and Amaryllis, Stu and Jimmy all thanked Elissa and Jacob for dinner, Brodie disappeared without a word.

"Don't mind him" said Stu. He lowered his voice so that the others could not hear. "Brodie's liked Milly for years…he's just jealous."

Severus did not comment; having felt that way for years with Lily and James, he understood.

….

When they arrived back at Amaryllis's home, she took off her shoes and collapsed on to the couch. "Thank God that's over" she said. Severus grunted in response; he was in an irritable mood now. He stood next to the coffee table with his arms crossed firmly.

"I don't know why Brodie came" she said grimly. "Elissa said he wouldn't be there, but I had a feeling…anyway." She shrugged, and then stood up and walked around the table to be near Severus. She tried to uncross his arms, but he kept his arms crossed even firmer. "What's wrong?"

"He has feelings for you."

"Yeah, but I don't have feelings for him" said Amaryllis gently. "You're the one I want to be with."

"What don't you like about him?".

"What do you mean?" She was frowning now. "He's a great guy."

"Obviously not if you're not attracted to him."

"No…I'm just not attracted to him, Severus. There's no reason for it. It just is."

"But he has feelings for you."

Amaryllis looked at him curiously. "I'm confused – are you getting mad at me because I don't have feelings for him?"

"He's known you for a long time" said Severus.

This only seemed to frustrate her.

"And, so what?" she cried. "Just because someone has feelings for me, I owe them feelings in return?" He did not respond. "Look, I get where this is going."

"Where what is going?" asked Severus, feigning ignorance.

"You're upset with me because I don't have feelings for Brodie, the same way Lily didn't have feelings for you" said Amaryllis bluntly. Then her expression softened. "Severus, you can't force someone to like you. When I thought you were uninterested, I didn't press you about it – sure, I was bummed – but I wasn't about to try and change your mind, I accepted it."

"But you and I are together now" Severus pointed out.

She looked at him evenly then. "Severus be honest with me. Do you really think you're ready to be in a relationship with me right now?"

"I do have feelings for you."

"I know you do" she said. "And I understand your love for Lily, but you getting triggered like this and taking it out on me…you know it's not right, don't you?"

"It is difficult to let certain things go" Severus confessed. "I have loved Lily for a long time."

"Then maybe we should take a break for now" she suggested; her voice sad but steady.

Another man would have rejected the idea immediately. He would have fought for Amaryllis until she took back her words.

But he was Severus Snape, and unfortunately it was not in his nature to do things like this.

Instead, he agreed with her.