Ken's POV

(What? Wasn't I just....)

"Uh Reimu, I'm pretty sure they are going to be pretty hostile towards me" I said, confused by Reimu's last statement.

Reimu rolled her eyes and shook her head.

(Did you just diss me?)

(Muthafucking Miko...wait she's not white.)

"I can fly you over to the SDM but you have to find some weights on your own" said Reimu.

(Well that's nice to know, except that really didn't solve the whole hostile thing.)

Reimu stood there with a very vague face while i looked at her reprehensibly.

(That's got to be the most retarded idea I ever heard.)

"So you expect me....to go find some weights on my own...in a very hostile place" I said slowly, making sure Reimu hears every word.

Reimu slowly nodded and stayed calm, while i was boiling in anger.

*Explodes

"ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?" I yelled.

Reimu now looked at me, astonished at my language.

"YOU EXPECT ME TO GO OVER TO THE SDM AND JUST GET SOME WEIGHTS LIKE ITS OK?! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT ME GETTING ATTAC...."

"I see the boy recovered after a few days...." A childish voice that rang out, interrupting my tirade.

(Whaa? Who said that?)

I immediately looked around and focused on the entrance of the shrine where i see two figures coming with one of them little, the other tall while holding an umbrella.

Both were coming up the stairs, very slowly.

(Eh?! It's not even raining...why would you carry an umbrella? A parasol yeah but an umbrella?)

I stood in confusion as the two figures began to be more and more distinct.

Reimu sighed in discomfort as she looked at the entrance too.

"You two again? When are you guys going to stop visiting?" complained Reimu. "You two are so troublesome."

"Don't talk that way to a higher social class, you should be lucky I am visiting this dilapidated hovel" replied the unknown voice, scoffing at Reimu.

(Dilapidat...what? I could definitely tell that was an insult...)

Reimu twitched then crossed her arms, looking down irritated.

(Someone actually beat Reimu in a battle of words without either trying to kill each other. Wow...)

The two figures walked toward us as they came out of the shadows of the trees.

A feeling of dread swept my body while I began to sweat from the sun and the figures i now recognized.

(Oh....shouldn't i be running away now?)

I gasped as I saw them getting closer while calmly walking. Timid, I tried to run to the shrine.

(I would have gotten in too if it weren't for that meddling Reimu grabbing my wrist and resisting)

(You know, for a shrine maiden, she's actually pretty strong.)

I continue to struggle for a little bit, then I just sat down, crossed my arms, and looked down in frustration like a bratty kid who shouted, "Je veux le bon bon" whenever he wanted donuts.

The small figure giggled as I raised my head.

(Sakuya and Remilia....i should be ok, they haven't killed me yet.)

Sakuya has dark red eyes, silver hair, has a long braid on each side of her head, and her apron is stuffed to the brim with many knives.

She's wearing a light pink and dark blue french maid's outfit with short sleeves, and a white bonnet on her head.

The other one, Remilia, has red eyes, short light-blue hair, and a pair of black bat-like wings on back.

She's wearing a light red mob cap and dress, with bright red trimming.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you, as much as i want to" comforted Remilia, unnervingly.

(You sound more childish then i expected.)

"We never see the end of Marisa stealing our books, and it's all thanks to YOU. We had ENOUGH destruction in the mansion!" said Remilia, becoming more enraged.

Remilia pointed at me with her left hand.

(And so I am the reason Marisa began her shopping spree in the library..)

"Especially without China to warn us, and you had to send her to BED, for more than a day!" yelled Remilia.

(Meiling...Youkai are supposed to heal in their sleep in only a day or two at most....China must be staying in for some other reason...)

I began to get more interested in Remilia's tirade while I put my hand up to my chin, scratching it slightly like i am thinking, while Remilia gets even more and more angrier.

Reimu already left to the shrine, seeing as my wrist isn't gripped anymore.

(Jeez, does she really have to leave a red mark on my wrist?)

"Uuu~, poor Patchy, she's losing her books, and Sakuya has to do extra work every day all because of..."

And I lost interest, I blocked out Remilia's voice as I began to pay attention to Sakuya.

She coldly stared back at me, like a bodyguard does, I noticed something familiarly peculiar on her chest.

(I think Sakuya busts are UNUSUALLY bigger and somehow NOT on the same level. "Oh i wonder why is that?")

(How did people not notice yet?)

I opened my eyes wide on purpose while looking straight at Sakuya, who gave a disgusted yet perplexed look back.

Sakuya peered down at her chest, she panicked quickly, then she tried to calmed down while Remilia was still shouting.

She was trying to give me signs to stop staring, I blinked back at her with my left eye, while as she began to get irritated.

(Oh god this is so much fun teasing Sakuya like that.)

Sakuya was just about to reach in to her apron, when Remilia noticed me gawking at someone else.

"What are you doing?! PAY ATTENTION, YOU IDIOT!" scolded Remilia.

Remilia's face was really red as she was about to explode.

(Now it's time to tell her it was a joke.)

"Eh? What? Oh hey is it true you are related to Vlad Tepes?" I asked, hoping to take away some of her anger.

(Vlad Tepes, how exactly did he get the name Dracula now?)

I saw Remilia grinning instantly the moment i finished saying Tepes.

(I think the brat takes pride in being a descendant of Dracula, which isn't something to be proud. At least she isn't related to that one Hungarian countess, that would just be grotesque. Now hopefully my plan will work with this comic i got it off from.)

"Why yes, boy~. I am a direct descendant from Te-TE~!"

Remilia tilted her head backwards, taking a deep breath in, Sakuya looked down at her while letting out a sigh of relief.

(Plan is working so...far...just...got...to...see...that...in..person)

I grinned when it came to fruition.

"Tsepesshu!" Remilia sneezed loudly.

I beamed, happy that the plan came true.

(CHARISMA BREAK!!! YES!)

I raised my arms and pumped it down like in victory.

Sakuya caught me doing that and giggled, while Remilia recovered from the sneeze, her nose a little red.

"I think....My lady Remilia....has caught a cold" stuttered Sakuya.

I looked at Sakuya, seeing that her nose is bleeding a little bit, with the blood just almost out of her nose.

(Unlike her, I developed my moe barrier against Charisma Breaks, now Yuri and disgustingly adorable pictures are a different story.)

(Oh look, some snot is dripping out of Remilia's nose.)

"Uuu~. As i was saying, i am..."

"Hey Remilia, your nose.." I interrupted, slightly smirking.

I lightly tapped my left nostril a few times to designate where it is.

Remilia checked her right nostril instead.

(I meant MY LEFT. Don't you have a sense of direction?)

I shook my head when Remilia saw me, and just snorted it up.

Me and Sakuya slightly laughed while the Sakuya's nosebleeding began to quicken.

(You need someone to get that checked out, Sakuya.)

Then I focused my attention on Sakuya as I tapped my nose again.

Sakuya actually caught on and wiped it off with her maid's outfit, leaving a bloodstain on her sleeve while she somewhat blushed and smiled.

Remilia snorted up her nose again but loudly.

(You know, that's more like a jet intake than snorting.)

"As i was saying, I am a direct descendant of Vl...Vlaaa~!"

"IF YOU SNEEZE IN MY GRASS AGAIN, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU" Reimu interrupted, angry.

(Okay that time, I think she couldn't pronounce his name...but that was so funny.)

I immediately laughed out loud while Sakuya tried to abstain herself from laughing, despite her lips quivering.

(So you don't mind whatever you sweep into your grass but you do when it comes to snot? That doesn't even make sense!)

Remilia was getting mad, before stomping her foot a few times on the ground.

"Come on Reimu, I'm sure people won't notice a little snot in the grass" I remarked.

Then the shrine door immediately slid open, slamming against wood while I turned around and looked.

Reimu glared at me angrily, then quickly turned back to her emotionless stare while carrying a plate with four cups of tea.

Reimu sat it down on the porch while she began to sit on the porch herself.

Then Remilia and Sakuya followed suit and grabbed teacups, sitting next to Reimu.

I sat next to Sakuya, with my teacup.

We all drank at the same time as Remilia immediately spat it out in disgust.

(I wouldn't do that if I were you.)

"Oh no you didn't!" said Reimu, uncharacteristically calm. She slapped Remilia in the back of her head, making her flinch a little and shook in fear.

"Would you do the same if you were POOR!?" continued Reimu.

(Why do you care? Weren't you paid before?)

Remilia was about to say something but then stayed quiet and continued shaking.

(Don't mess with grouchy people like that.)

Reimu took a few more sips of tea, before taking in a deep breath.

"Ken, I told Genji to take you over to the SDM when you are ready, He knows where it is since I told him, he should be in the spring nearby" said Reimu.

(Got it....Ask a turtle to fly me quickly to the SDM....oxymoron.)

I noticed Remilia doesn't have her teacup anymore while she looked around for it, she saw Reimu pouring it into her cup.

"Hey~!" Remilia fretted, while reaching her hands out for the teacup, Reimu having it just out of reach.

"If you don't like it, why would you bother keeping it?" said Reimu coldly.

(Logic like that....isn't smart, especially if there's possible backwash in that tea, but it can shut someone up really fast.)

(Now to test and see if the word PADS is truly cursed!)

(..I must be really cocky today..)

"Hey Sakuya" I said, trying to get her attention.

Sakuya looked at me in response, while sipping her tea.

"Yes?" responded Sakuya.

I got closer to Sakuya's ear, making her blush, but not as much.

"I know you wear pads but that doesn't mean I'm that big of a jerk to yell it out loud" I whispered.

I think I felt three knives up already against my stomach, then that threatening feeling was gone when I finished my sentence.

(Yep she's tense about the word PADS. Who knew Fanon ever gets something right?)

Sakuya became flustered while smiling, quickly putting the knives away in her apron, before leaning in close to my ear.

"Umm....How do you know that? I never told anyone that before, and if anyone did find out, he would soon forget it forever" replied Sakuya.

(That sounds intimidating, and it's working.)

"Your breasts look kinda out of place" I whispered, trying to not get the attention of Remilia and Reimu, who did not notice so far.

Sakuya quickly looked down at her breasts and saw that one of them seems to be more lopsided than the other.

(Reimu and Remilia are blind, I swear, anyone could see THAT!)

She went and reached in her shirt, fixed it and took it out. The breasts now seemed more natural

(I really want to squeeze them right now to see how pads feel.)

(But then I would get knifed instantly for being an idiot worse than Cirno.)

Just the thought of Cirno calling me an idiot just took away that perverted thought, it would make anyone ashamed for the rest of their lives.

(It's a good thing Remilia changed Sakuya's fate for Sakuya to be more nicer towards humans. At least that's what I read in Perfect Memento in Strict Sense.)

"See? I even told you your pads needed fixing" I whispered.

Again, I felt a knife up against my stomach for a moment, then it was gone the moment after I finished my sentence.

(Woah, Paranoia at a whole new level.)

Sakuya continued to blush and smile at me, while I winked back.

I began to get an uncomfortable feeling.

"Thank you, you do know that these pads are my secret. And now that you know about it, please, for your sake, don't disclose it to anyone else" whispered Sakuya in a worried yet threatening tone, before sipping her tea again.

(That's right! I said pads without getting killed, TAKE THAT FANBOYS!)

(Now this feeling I'm getting is giving me a bad vibe, I should go ahead and go.)

I stood up, getting a glance from Sakuya.

"I'm going to go ahead and go to the SDM, hopefully I won't die, since Reimu is sending me on a suicidal mission" I said.

"Fufufu~"

Reimu seemed to laugh while drinking her tea.

(Why you little sadist...)

"Since when did i let you into the mansion?" protested Remilia.

"Ever since the Psycho Miko says i have to, and you can't really argue with her" I replied.

Reimu twitched when I said the first part, then nodded at the second part. She gave me and Remilia a dangerous glare, unnerving both of us.

"Well Then....WAIT!" said Remilia.

(Why would she want me to wait? I'm pretty sure she wants me out of her sight.)

Remilia took a little note from her dress, then she gave it to me.

"Yell this really loud if you see an intruder, A girl with prism wings in the mansion, Patchy on the ground, or any destruction you see...then we'll be there in an instant!" Remilia explained.

I read the note in my head and it says, "Sakuya-san, Sakuya-san, cleaning stop, ROOM! CLEANING! STOP!"

(What the...you want me to use a meme to call you guys?! And risk getting hit in the head by Sakuya?)

I gave Remilia a very perplexed look, narrowing my eyes at her.

(You're kidding me right?!)

"Trust me! We can hear that from far away!" confirmed Remilia.

"What does that say, my lady Remilia?" asked Sakuya.

"None of your business, Sakuya" responded Remilia coldly.

"Yes, lady Remilia"

(Jeez, Remilia, why treat her like such a dog? That was cold.)

"Umm~, thanks? I'll use it when i need it.....bye" I said, trying to retreat as quickly as possible.

"Just don't BREAK anything when you get there! Just like that witch." said Remilia.

(Yadada, I don't care.)

Remilia went back to sitting next to Reimu and glared at me.

"What are you waiting for? Get out of my sight!" exclaimed Remilia.

(Bipolar Bitch......)

I waved back while I walked towards the spring, both Remilia and Reimu didn't even bother to wave back while Sakuya did, and for some reason, was blushing and smiling at me.

(Why is she blushing at me? Oh right her secret, but that doesn't feel like it though.)

I got to the spring where a turtle was floating above it.

(This must be Genji. I never expected him to be that big....maybe some toxic liquid from the outside world mutated him when he was a baby? Was he raised by a rat and taught Kung Fu as well?)

"Are you Ken?" the turtle asked.

(I didn't expect him to be able to talk either.)

"Yes. Can you take me to the SDM?" I asked.

As I finished saying that, I put the note Remilia gave to me in my pocket.

Genji observed and looked at me, while floating in the air

"So you want me to take you over there when you are only wearing shorts...sounds pretty dangerous for a human" remarked Genji.

(Reimu probably took my shirt so....)

"It's the only thing i have right now..." I said, trailing off at the end.

"Alright, I will fulfill Reimu's wish and take you to the SDM. Get on my back." ordered Genji.

I jumped and almost landed in the spring thanks to his slippery shell.

I finally got on it and sat crisscross while Genji began to take me to the SDM by flying up high in the air.

I began to think deeply, a troubling thought occurring to me about what recently happened.

(At the shrine, did i just flirt with Sakuya?)