To some people, love can be a cruel, heartless bitch.
But we can't help ourselves from falling for it every time.
I paced back and forth across the floor of my living room as I got dressed, my brain in a full scale panic. The week had gone by a lot quicker than I had expected since the occurrences of the strip club, and it was Friday evening already. Sitting on the couch was Ed, not exactly doing his best to make me feel any better.
"What if she wants to kiss you?" He asked, relaxing on the couch as he watched me get even more nervous.
"I'll politely tell her that I'm not interested." I replied, trying not to picture her reaction. Riza had been there when I was learning alchemy, and she'd never left my side after that. She'd grown on me the way a little sister would. I loved her, but like a sibling, not a lover.
"And if she gets offended?" Ed questioned, still casually.
"Not my problem. Colonel Mustang has a certain reputation for breaking hearts. She knows what she's dealing with." I tried not to picture a broken-hearted Riza as I pulled on a fresh shirt.
"What if she tries to seduce you? For all you know she could come out in a miniskirt and-" Ed asked. Now I knew where all these questions were going. I walked over to the couch in my open shirt and bent down so that my lips were inches away from his.
"Is someone a little jealous?" I teased playfully.
"What?"
"Oh come on! I'm going to dinner with a beautiful woman who's very much into me. You're just worried that she'll steal me away." I carried on teasing, smiling as I watched Ed blush and attempt to retort.
"No! I can trust my boyfriend with one dinner can't I?" Boyfriend. That was the first time I'd heard that word applied to me in a while, but it sounded better coming from Ed lips. I was his boyfriend. I was his, and I always would be.
"Maybe… She is pretty." I said, sending Ed into a small fit.
"Roy!"
"I'm kidding," I said, leaning in closer, "Really Ed, Riza might be pretty, but she's not my type at all."
"Really?" Ed's eyes widened. Right now there were probably a dozen rumours flying around the office about how Riza and I would apparently make a perfect couple. There was even a fan club.
"Yup."
"Then… What is your type?" He said. I smiled even more. He was just asking for it now.
"Blonde, gold eyes, sweet but at the same time you don't want to piss them off, short…" I listed, putting my arms on either side of him.
"Don't call me short!" Ed yelled immediately. I laughed before kissing him. I don't know how long we spent kissing, but I enjoyed every second. After a while Ed pulled himself away.
"Had enough already?" I smiled.
"Save some for you date." Ed teased back.
"Oh shit!" I exclaimed, looking at my watch "I'm going to be late!" Hurriedly buttoned up my shirt and threw on my jacket before having a quick look at my hair in a mirror which hung in the hallway. In the reflection, I saw Ed trying to contain his laughter.
"Hey! If you're just going to laugh then you might as well leave!" Ed got up and wiped tears of mirth from his eyes. I opened the front door and indicated for him to leave, before exiting as well. After locking the door to my apartment, I turned to face Ed.
"Wanna wish me luck?" I asked. Ed smiled, quickly looking left and right to make sure that we were alone in the hallway. Once he was positive that there was nobody to see us, he stood on tiptoe and kissed me quickly on the cheek.
"I love you." He whispered.
"Me too." I said back, as we both left.
Once I made it to Riza's apartment, I suddenly felt terrible about what I was doing. Riza was one of my closest friends. If I broke her heart into a million little pieces, I highly doubted that she would ever forgive me, and I'd been at the wrong end of her gun a few too many times to make the mistake of pissing her off again. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the door.
"Oh! Colonel! Welcome!" Riza said as she opened the door. At first, I was speechless. She was wearing a dress. Yes, I'm serious. A dress. I didn't think that I'd seen her in a dress since…well…ever. It was red and it clung to her body. She'd paired it with red high heels and quite a bit of makeup. It made her look so… different. I was so used to seeing her dressed in her unflattering blue military uniform and threatening to shoot me if I didn't do my paperwork that I had forgotten how pretty she really was. Seeing all the effort she's put into this, I felt even worse about having to break her heart.
"Call me Roy," I replied, before adding "You look great."
"Thank you." She blushed as she stepped inside and gestured for me to enter. Her apartment looked the way it always did. It was immaculately clean, not a single thing out of place, with very minimalistic design. I took a seat on the couch.
"So, how was it in Ishbal?" She asked, placing a bottle of wine and two empty glasses on the coffee table. She poured a generous amount in both glasses and handed one to me. I took it thankfully and sipped.
"It was…" I thought for a moment for the words that described it best, "An experience."
"I thought so. It's like you've come back a new person." She smiled as she took a sip of wine. I had to admit that she did look pretty damn adorable. If I was straight, I would have been all over her.
"Yeah. It… it definitely changed me. I mean, I don't think that I can ever make up for what I did, but just going there and helping people, knowing that I made a positive change in their lives, helped me save myself in a way. You don't know how good it feels to be able to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning and not see a murderer anymore." It was true, when I looked in the mirror. I didn't see the 'Hero of Ishbal' now, but instead I saw a man who loved a boy half his age. According to some religions, I should burn in hell. So not exactly an improvement, then.
"That's great. It's nice to know that you've finally got that off your chest now." She smiled and moved slightly closer, sending my brain once again into panic mode. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought, especially considering the bottle of wine which probably wasn't the last Riza was planning on opening.
I moved away slightly and quickly changed the topic, focusing on small talk. After about ten minutes of discussing the weather, Riza excused herself to check on the dinner. Watching her leave, I quickly downed the rest of my second glass of wine in one gulp. I needed to stop leading her on and do this quickly.
When dinner was ready, I'd firmly decided that I would tell her politely and quickly that I wasn't interested in her, and leave once we'd finished eating. The smell coming from the kitchen was amazing. I looked at the dining table. There was a tall candle lit in the middle of it, making it very clear that despite what I had told her, this wasn't a dinner between friends.
She'd cooked spinach quiche. My favourite. She sat down opposite me and smiled.
"Okay, I can't do this anymore." I admitted.
"What?" She looked up at me anxiously. Damn. Those brown eyes were huge.
"Riza, I'm sorry. I… I just can't return those feelings that you have for me." And then she cried. At first, I didn't know what to do. I hadn't seen her cry since the death of her father.
"I…I understand, it's just…" She sobbed as I reached over and put a consoling hand on her shoulder.
"Just what?" I asked. She turned to face me, with such a combination of sadness and stress on her face that I could tell this date was just the tip of the iceberg.
"I'm not attractive, am I?"
"I'm sorry?"
"Every male I talk to just sees me as a soldier who might shoot them if they slack. I'm not… womanly enough to get a man, am I Roy?"
"Riza, what the hell are you saying?"
"I bet that's why you don't want to date me. I'm not-" She wept.
"Riza, please!" I said loudly enough to make her stop crying and look at me. " The fact that I don't like you in a romantic sense has nothing to do with how…er…womanly you are. Don't worry about men so much, we're pretty stupid. It might take a while for the right one to appear."
"But how would they like me? I mean, nobody does."
"Look, any man that you need to change yourself for isn't worth it. And also, if you'd have heard the kind of things guys say in the locker rooms, I'm pretty sure you'd be convinced that they'd like you." And with that, I left her sitting alone at the dinner table, still looking slightly sad. But I wasn't so worried about her at that point. It would hit her eventually, and then she'd find the perfect man for her. At least, that's what I hoped.
Hi! It's LLF here!
Yes, I am still alive. After summatives and exams, I'm very surprised that I am. But on the bright side, no more French. (At least until next year…)
I apologize for the suckiness/ lack of action in this chapter, but… yeah… the only excuse I have is that I'm a bad writer.
I'm currently betaing a story called 'The Sharpest Lives', by konfessor2u. Please read it. It's RoyEd and fucking awesome
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