Chapter 21: Decision

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Itachi's POV

"Yahiko" I whispered to ginger.. He opened his eyes sleepily.. "Mmh.. What.."

I smiled softly.. "I gotta go for now.."

Nagato looked at me narrowing his eyes..

Yahiko lowered his eyebrows.. "Don't go.."

I put my hand on his.. "I have to go.. And, Nagato is here, right? He can take care of you.."

He squeezed my hand with his weak fingers.. "Will you come back?.."

I don't know.. "Of course I will." I lied, smiling.

He closed his eyes and let my hand. "I'll wait for you.."

I looked at Nagato for a moment then turned my back, headed to door.

"Be careful." I heard Nagato's voice and lowered my eyebrows.. Please don't tell anything to Yahiko..

Flashback-

I was holding Yahiko's hand while my phone began to vibrate in my pocket. I picked it. Kakashi.. Your timing is teribble.. I stood up quickly and got out of room, pressed the phone on my ear.

"H-Hi.."

"Hello, baby how are you?.."

"I am fine.. You?"

"I am so happy, finally I'll see you tomorrow.."

"Ah, yes.." I tried to smile.. "You are going to come tomorrow."

"I miss you too much.. Itachi.." He whispered with his damned voice tone and caused me shiver. I shut my eyes tightly and took a deep breath..

"Sounds like you miss me too.." He laughed with a low voice.. "Do you know what will I do when I back home?"

My eyes opened widely. "S-stop please.."

"I'll strip you slowly.. ..and then I'll fill you with my love.. I'll lick, kiss and suck every inch of you.. I'll-"

"MAY YOU SHUT UP!" I couldn't help but shouted loudly in the middle of hospital, caused everybody look at me.. "I am in public.." I whispered with a red face.

"Oh.. You should say that."

"I tried to say but arrgghh anyway.." I frowned.

"Aahh, Itachi, I love you." He sighed happily and began to repeat it like a little child. "I love you! I love you! I love you!"

"Stop, or you'll lose your esteem. Everybody start to think that you fall in love like a teenager."

"I don't care, I miss you.. I want to touch you.. I miss the feeling of your skin." He murmured.

"I miss it, too.." I sighed sadly. "I want to touch you, too.." If I touch you.. Can I get rid of these questions? "I gotta go.. Take care of yourself.. Goodbye.."

"Goodbye, My lover.."

I pulled the phone from my ear and hung up. I put the phone back and turned my back but I hit a wide chest and looked up in shock.

Nagato... He was right behind me..

"You're doing it again.." He looked at me like I am an insect..

"I am doing w-what?" I stepped back in fear.. Did he hear our phone conversation?

"I won't let anything to break Yahiko's heart again. Do you understand?"

I gulped. "W-What are you talking about?"

"If you don't like him, don't give him hope.."

"N-No! It's not like that!" I held his arms tightly. How can I explain this?! That was clear! I was talking with my boyfriend..

"An angel-like, vulnerable personality.. A naive mind.. He can't do this to me.. I should have listened him for once.. There must be a mistake.. But instead of this I .. I flared as usual and hurted him... I.. I am so sorry.. I can't forgive myself.. I don't want to hurt him anymore.."

"Hn?.." I looked at him in confusion. What is he talking about? "What are you saying, Nagato?"

"These're not my words.. These are Yahiko's.." He glared at me. "At that time I believed that he is a real jerk because he had hurted someone like that.. I got really angry to him but he was my friend, no, he was more than a friend, so I couldn't do anything. I let him to stay with me at that week. At the end of that weekend he decided to talk to you to break your heart, too. He didn't want to hurt you anymore but he knew that you two can't come together again, especially after his behavior.. He knew that you had a very innocent love and you would continue to love him.. To not torture you, he made you hate himself completely..

He did it.. But he paid for it.. He was still loving you and it was giving him pain.. so much pain.. He was emotionally depressed.. No one was able to bring him back, neither oversexed whores nor shy cute teenage males.. He was thinking of you, only you.. When I understood it, I suggested this universty to make him continue his life far away from you, but as luck would have it, he met you here and now he is struggling for live in this hospital..

That's all your fault.."

I couldn't find any word to say.. I just looked at him with an open mouth.. That's all.. ..my.. ..fault...

"Pay some respect and be brave. Yahiko isn't weak. He can overcome it. If you don't like him, just say it. He didn't deserve this." He looked at my pocket meanfully then turned his back, headed to Yahiko's room..

Flashback ends-

5:30 pm..

I suddenly stopped in the middle of street..

What will happen?

How will Kakashi react to me?

Will he be mad?

I lowered my eyebrows..

Will he humilate me?..

Cold wind was blowing strongly.. I walked slowly and sat on a bench, pressed my hands to my face..

I.. I don't want any of them.. Any of these!.. The only thing I want is escaping away and hiding behind my mother for a year..

What happened to me?!

When I came here!?

When I fell in love with him..

"I am a male! *sob* Goddammit!"

Why I am crying now?

Because of fear?

Despair?

Sorrow?

Anger?

Yahiko?

Kakashi?

Nagato?

"*sob* Fuck you all! *sob*"

Why I am here?.. I should be at school..

Is that my fate?

"I hate all *sob* all the males on earth *sob*"

God, why me..?

My stomach was turning.. I stood up slowly and pushed my hands into my pockets while tears still were sliding on my cheeks..

I am trembling.. Probably because of cold...

...

I entered in the house.. There was cold.. A red lamp was twinkling on phone. I pressed a button on it and a beep was heard..

"Uh, hi, Itachi.. Are you at home? You didn't call me back so I worried about you... ...umm, well.. Goodnight.. *beep*"

Ahh, Deidara.. I totally forgot him!

"*beep* Itachi, something happened? Why you didn't come to school today? Please answer me if you're there! I am worriying for you.. ... *beep*"

"*beep* ITACHI! THAT'S NOT FUNNY OKAY!? YOU AREN'T ANSWERING MY CALLS, WHAT HAPPENED!? IS IT ABOUT KAKASHI?! IS THAT PIECE OF SHIT FORCING YOU TO DO SOMETHING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO?! ... DAMN! I AM COMING THERE RIGHT NOW! *beep*"

"Ah, Deidara.." I grabbed the handset and called my friend.

"ITACHI!" He shouted.

"Hi, Deidara, I am sorry I forgot to call you back.."

"What it means!? Oh god, have you got any idea about what kind of fear you gave me!?"

"Calm down.. I'll explain everything.." I sighed.

...

I was laying on bed when door was opened..

"Itachi.." A silver haired guy entered into room, smiling..

I looked at him and tried to smile "Welcome.."

He walked near me and sat on bed.. "Did you miss me?" He leaned over me, touched my shoulder.

I don't know.. I shut my eyes.. He hugged me tightly and burried his head to my neck.. "I miss you.. I miss you.."

"K-kakashi.." I whimpered wrapped my arms around his shoulders.. "What happened?" He looked at me worrily..

Please.. Please make me forget everything..

"Ahh, Itachi.. Okay.. That's okay.. It's not important.. I forgave you.. I love you..." his hand went to my chin.. He turned my head to his and pressed his lips on mine. He kissed me softly then pulled himself back little bit.. He found out.. He found out.. I lowered my eyebrows. His kiss made me feel nothing.. He straightened on his knees and smiled bitterly.. "Anyway.. T-There is.. there is someone.. ..wants to see you..." He stood up and got out of room. "Can you.. ..follow me?.."

I stood up slowly and followed him.. He went near his luggage.. I tried to look what was he doing, he stood up and turned to me with a broken smile on his face. He was holding a puppy in his hands.. That was definately the cutest labrador I've ever seen.. It was wagging its tail.. I held the tiny, fluffy thing and sat on sofa.. Kakashi sat near me.. "I just want to... ...give you a surprise.."

I was petting its fur.. "T-thank you.. but Kakashi.. I.. I have to say something-"

"Ah!" He interrupted me suddenly. "I bought some vegetables and meat! And also I bought dangos for you! You love dangos!" He laughed and stood up hurrily.

..

"Hahaha! Value me! Look! I am making dishes for you.." He was very tensed. He was cutting peppers with an incredible speed, wasting them..

"K-Kakashi! You-"

"WHY!?" He stabbed the sharp knife on cutting board in a sudden.. His hands were shaking.. I gulped and stood up, headed him..

"Why.. Why Itachi.. What I have done to you.. What I have done to deserve this.. I love you.." He fell on his knees "I love you.."

I bit my lips and touched his shoulder.. I don't want to hurt him but...

"The only thing I did was love you.." He passed his hand through his hair.. "I love you with everything I have.."

"Kakashi.." My voice was shaking.. "It's not about you.."

He turned to me in a sudden and pulled me into his arms.. "No!" He wailed. "No! I don't let you.. I love you! I need you! Itachi.. If you leave me, I cannot live anymore..."

"Don't.." I whispered. "Please don't.. I am sorry.." I hugged him squeezely, pushed my one hand into his hair..For a while, we just stood there with no move.. His shoulders were shaking so much.

"Does he.. does he really love you?"

"Kakashi.." I pushed my head to his shoulder little more.

"I am serious.. Can.. Can he afford your college?"

I nodded slowly.

"Is he.. y-younger than me?"

I pulled myself back suddenly and looked at him with wide eyes.

"11 years.. That's a big problem.. Itachi.." He looked directly into my eyes and put his hand on my cheek, caressed it with his thumb.. "You're 19.. I am 30.. You're still so young.. I-" He lowered his eyebrows and looked at floor. "I already knew that, there will be no room for an old guy at your future.. Still, I will be here for you if you need me.." He looked up and smiled with trembling lips..

"But I-"

"Don't bother.. I won't be alone.." He looked at the little puppy who was sleeping on sofa, innocently..

"K-Kakashi! *sob* " I collapsed into his arms, crying my heart out.. "Forgive *sob* forgive me *sob* I am sorry *sob*"

I am feeling relaxed.. But at the same time, I am feeling bad.. I never wanted to break Kakashi's heart.. But I.. I should have to listen my heart first.. I was loving Yahiko all along.. I was just afraiding.. I chose Kakashi because I believed that he can make me forget Yahiko.. I was wrong.. I wasn't able to forget him..

I let Kakashi to assume all the responsibility.. Because I was a coward.. I was weak.. That's why he is suffering now.. That's all my fault..

"G-Go Itachi.." Kakashi was smiling slightly now.. He pushed me gently.. Tears were flowing on my face.. "Go before I change my mind.."

We both stood up, he caught my wrists and forced me to step backwards.. "Go.. Get out of here.." He gave me my coat, opened the door and threw me outside.. "Don't come back.. Never come back.." The door was banged loudly..

I opened my mouth to wail loudly, I lifted my fist to pound the door but I wasn't able to do anything.. Screams were knotted on my throat, my muscles didn't work..

Don't be an idiot Itachi.. Can't you see?.. That was a very difficult decision for him..

I leaned my head aganist door and whispered.. "Thank you for everything, Kakashi.."

3rd POV

Kakashi slammed the door roughly and leaned aganist it with his back... He wanted to beg Itachi for stay with him.. But he wasn't able to to that..

"It-achi.." He pressed his hand on his heart.. There was an unbearable pain in his chest... It was preventing him to breathe.. His long legs slided down slowly.. He sat on ground panting...

"Why.." He whispered.. "What I have done to deserve this?.."

He looked at ceiling for a while then stood up slowly, headed to bedroom.. His bottom lip was shaking.. Tears were hurting his eyes.. He opened his closet harshly and pulled a sweatshirt, pressed it on his chest.. That was Itachi's.. That was smelling like Itachi..

"*h-haaaa* Itachi!" He bawled and fell on his knees.. He wanted to ran and caught him.. But what would happen then?.. What if Kakashi forces Itachi to stay with him?.. They can be together again but 'living with an unhappy Itachi'.. "I'd rather die.." Kakashi whispered in pain.. He was holding Itachi's sweetshirt tightly..

He wailed for a while until he realise the little puppy was looking at him worrily.. "Hereafter" He smiled bitterly, while tears were dripping on floor.. "..Will you love me? Huh, Onyx?"

The black labrador puppy jumped on his lap and snuggled to Kakashi.. Kakashi looked at clear sky, petting little dod's head..

"I hope you will be very very very very happy, Itachi.. That will be sufficient for me.."

Chapter 21's over..

Aww.. That was.. so heartbreaking.. TT n TT

I am so sorry Kakashi.. But you know, Itachi can't have you two at the same time, so he had to chose one of you.. *sniffs* You did the right thing as an matured adult.. I will always love you! :']

Naughty spoiler (:P) : The next chapter will be a lemon! :D:D

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See ya, until next chapter!