Planet Earth's Worst Nightmare

"You look like an arrogant, spoilt millionaire brat."

June didn't even flinch, just stretched her bikini-clad body in the last beams of sun shining onto the pool deck. "Cheeky words from someone living on my money."

"Being married to an incorporated tempest ought to come with some kind of advantages."

"There'd be all the sexual privileges, too."

"Those are mutual, sweetheart," Sam sat down at the edge of June's lounger, brushed through her hair and kissed her.

"You know…" June started between kisses, "You never told me how you afforded this." She played with her engagement ring.

"True, I didn't. Never will, possibly."

June narrowed her eyes. "What about the 'complete and utter honesty' rule we set up?"

"Per occupation, I don't do rules." Sam smiled cheekily and pushed June back into the lounger hungrily. "Besides, I didn't say I definitely would never tell you. So let's just go with: I won't tell you now."

"Screw you hunters and your unmoral, unethical and utterly roguish demeanour."

"Screw you artists and your perfidious games."

"You like those well enough, as they mostly end up in kinky sex."

"Just like you're not disinclined to 'unmoral, unethical and utterly roguish demeanour' as it mostly ends up serving your insatiable needs."

"The only one allowed twisting the other one's words against the other in this marriage is me," June complained and pulled Sam down to her.

"Ever heard of equal rights?"

"Only when it comes to whose turn it is to be on top."

"You lose that one tonight."

"You're using your physical advantage against me!" June protested as Sam covered her body with his, his hands running down her practically-naked body to the strings of her bikini-panties.

"Yes, absolutely."

June felt the left tie of her bikini come lose. "You do know this is a public pool."

"Not anymore." Sam kissed her neck. "I may have accidentally short-circuited the electronic lock."

June couldn't hold back a smile. "Okay, I'll give your profession that: It has convenient tendencies."

"Nothing to do with my profession. I simply chose to use my brains for something useful, and not for selling cheap artwork for millions to dumb, rich, wannabe cultivated suck-ups."

"That requires a certain level of intelligence and cunning, you know." June raked her hands down Sam's flawless back to his coccyx. "Oh, and a little note at the side: My job that you so condescendingly spoke off saves your sexy ass from ending up behind bars because of credit card fraud."

"I wouldn't get caught."

"Don't make me list all those occasions when you did end up cuffed."

"Oh, June, sweetheart, that so has nothing to do with getting busted. Unless of course, all those times you brought out the cuffs were disciplinary measurements. In which case I would wonder why you were the one mostly ending up tied up."

June growled, not wanting to admit Sam won that one. "Bite me."

"Working up to it."

"To what exactly? Making me a baby or leaving another trail of love bites all over me that forces me to wear rather conservative clothing?"

Sam grinned against June's neck, leaving a said love bite as he parted her legs. "Both. By the way, I have to say I really liked your high-necked business outfit that day."

"Kinky bastard."

"Like will to like, princess. Now to the baby part."

Four months later

"Did you know that the probability of having twins increases if twins run in the family? Or if you had twins before?"

June glared at Lisa. "Comforting. Thank you. Just what I needed to hear."

The other woman shrugged with a smile. "It's not like you couldn't handle another pair."

"Hey, I get older, too, my nerves won't consist of steel forever."

"You're 25."

"Yeah, and so far, I've experienced more than the average American, including dying and coming back. That tends to put a little strain on a person." June stated dryly and took a sip of her tea, absent-mindedly stroking her four-month bulge.

Unsurprisingly, after the baby talk, it hadn't taken too long before June did the morningly leap to the bathroom (June had the firm suspicion that it had happened on the pool deck that night that had left her walking cautiously for two days). To Sam's dry question whether he should go get a test, June had kindly told him to get a witch instead to perform a body swap; she so couldn't handle morning sickness, and it would only be fair if he got his share in carrying out their offspring, too.

Not to mention the hormone-overloaded months before her.

'You ain't the only one suffering from those, darling,' Had been Sam's inconsiderate reply, which had resulted in a first private showing of 'June on pregnancy hormones'.

Long story short: Sam had caved in, pulled June into his arms, told her he loved her and would be overjoyed should she indeed be pregnant. And added he wouldn't leave her for even one day if she was. Since one of the few advantages of a pregnant June was that she could be soothed a lot easier than the not-pregnant one, a marital massacre had been prevented.

Now June sat with Lisa in the living room of the apartment, while their husbands were out with the kids – being Aidan, Sophia and Carmen; Ben was at college – having fun at the Christmas markets.

"Yeah, but you're not just any person."

"Fair enough. Still. Should I be having twins, or, God forbid, triplets, baking in there, I'll hit the road to hunt and Sam stays at home."

"You'd really trust him with the gallery?" Lisa reached for a cookie.

June chuckled lovingly, thinking of the representative Sam had hired... Saying he'd been clueless would be putting it mildly. June being June, however, she'd cleaned up the mess he'd caused with her gallery within days and was now back on the success track. Granted, even if the representative himself had been meagrely successful, Sam had saved her gallery for her in not selling it; and that was all that mattered in the end. "I'd trust him with my life, but not artwork."

Lisa chuckled and shook her head; on 360 days of the year, she wondered how Sam could stand being married to June. Not that she didn't love June, she was family, but that didn't make her an easy person. Admittedly, easy people might not survive being married to a hunter and raising two little Winchesters – more in the near future – at the side and have a demanding job. "So, I've been wondering. You and Sam ever plan on buying a house?"

"Why would we? The apartment's big enough."

"Well, yeah, but don't you think Aidan and Sophia would enjoy a garden?"

"They take after me in that department. Which means that anything green and demanding care and attention, like grass or let alone plants, is to be avoided."

"Let's hope that kid number three sees that the same way."

"Oh, it will, seeing as it's a girl. Girls are easier and tamer," June pondered for a second and added: "Unless they're me."

"You already know what's it going to be?"

"We're going to find out next month for sure, but Sam and I agreed on it being a girl."

"Oh, wow, you agreed, I'm impressed. And surprised. I recall some, err, marital differences about that one the last time."

"Hah, yeah, well, can't say I blame you." June thought back to the unavoidable discussion that had came up precisely two days after the positive test result.

"What do you think it's going to be?" She had asked as she'd cuddled up to her husband on the couch.

"I think it's going to be a girl," Sam tenderly ran his hand over her still flat belly. He'd just waited for June's counter that she voted for a boy, when surprisingly, his wife conceded: "I think it will be."

"You're seriously going to miss a lengthy round of discussion and…just agree with me?"

"Bigger fish, Sam: I can either agree with you and miss out on the fun of arguing over it, or I can have an outcome like the last time when we didn't agree and the egg cells diplomatically decided to just split up to serve both of our guesses. So, yes, I'm simply going to agree with you before we end up with another set of twins!"

Sam had some difficulty holding back a laugh. "What if they decide to just be two girls, one for each of our guesses?"

June's eyes widened in horror. "That isn't funny, Sam!"

"I have to disagree with you there."

June punched his side and looked down to her belly. "Don't you dare."

"Our child is most likely not responding to threats. It's a Winchester after all."

"Or so you hope."

"That really isn't funny," Sam had growled.

June leaned over and kissed his neck, grazing her teeth against his skin teasingly. "Oh, Sam. As if after having you, any other man could even remotely please me." Her hand snuck down his abs. "You set the standards rather high. And if it's any comfort, our sex life is satisfactory enough as that I didn't ever jump the hot Spanish pool boy while you were gone. Yet, anyways."

Sam let out an extremely turning on growl and pushed June down onto the floor, being careful not to hurt her. Kinky rough sex would have to wait until after the baby, no matter how much June might whine about it. There was a limit to what Sam gave in to, even to June.

Granted, he was still working on those limits when it came to Sophia and Aidan, and he had a feeling their third child wouldn't be any different in her ability to wrap him around her little finger.

Sam might tell the devil himself to stick it, but when his children looked up to him with their damned puppy eyes, he couldn't possibly phrase a 'no'. Maybe it was a good thing he was rarely at home, or Aidan and Sophia would grow up spoilt brats. And in some months, they would have reinforcement and he would be outnumbered for good.

It was an outnumbering Sam could happily deal with. The joy of seeing June grow round and moody with their third child was so immense, it would even be worth another trip to hell; though technically, June in hormone frenzy came close to that, anyways. After she'd died, he'd never believed he'd be granted even seeing June again, let alone have another child with her...

Sam wasn't quite sure what to hope for: Another girl, who as a daughter per definition had her father at her beck and call, or another boy, who as a Winchester man wasn't exactly predestined to lead a peaceful existence but rather stir up a little hell.

Turned out, it came a little different.

Four challenging years later

"Dad, why can Aidan and Soph go to school, but I'm stuck at kindergarten?"

"Because they're older, Dee. In two years, you can go to school, too."

"But I wanna go now."

"You can't always have what you want, sweetie."

"Why not?"

"Because that doesn't work. If everyone gets their wish, what do you think would happen?"

"Chaos, most likely. But I don't even need everyone to get their wish, I just want mine."

Sam looked heavenwards as if after all these years, God had decided to maybe get back to office after all and grant him some help. "You're so much like your mother sometimes, it's not even cute anymore."

"Mom always gets what she wants. Why can't I?"

"Because your Mom is an adult. And because she's your Mom."

"Who made her Mom?"

"I did."

"And who made you Dad?"

"She did."

It only took two seconds for his daughter's sharp mind to run over the facts he'd given her. "So if each of you made the other one what he is, who gave you the power to do that in the first place?"

'That so wasn't what I had in mind when I said Dee would come after June,' Sam groaned inwardly and crouched down to his four-year old sunshine – lookswise, anyways, and it was a well-known fact those could be deceiving. Delayna was an outright devil in disguise. And Sam couldn't love her more. "Look, Dee. Everyone has to go through phases in life that aren't always chocolate and cream." Granted, he didn't think kindergarten was such a phase, but apparently, his youngest had different views about that. "But those make the good phases seem even better, and it toughens you up." Sam tweaked her nose, making Delayna squeal in delight, disguised as feigned protest.

"That didn't answer who gave you the power to make Mommy Mom."

"One of the many advantages of being an adult is that I don't have to answer to cheeky daughters."

"But you're my Dad!"

"Yes, and as your Dad, I'm telling you that your parents are privileged to do things you have to earn yourself first by growing up. Trust me when I say that your childhood is a great time, possibly the best of your life." That hadn't counted for him; his best time was now, with June and their children. An occasional hunt here and there, family dinners with Dean and his family, Christmases at Bobby's…

"So why can't we just swap, then? I can be grown up and you can be a child."

'Surprising, and shocking, what's all hidden in genetics.' Sam thought with a sigh as he brushed through Delayna's golden-white curls. Her looks weren't the only thing she'd inherited from June; he wasn't quite sure whether Dee had just inherited her rhetoric and defiance or possibly even both her parents' intelligence; that could prove to turn out a horrific combination.

Though he didn't entertain any false hopes. Delayna was as smart as Aidan and Sophia, just plus June's attitude. Sam thanked his lucky stars every night that if June's demeanour had to be passed on at all, it didn't hit the twin load.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, Dee. Enjoy what you have, that now being your childhood, and don't fight against everything."

"I don't. Just against the stuff that annoys me."

"Yes, and that seems to be a lot."

"Not my fault people can't get it right."

"People make mistakes, for one. Secondly, the world's purpose isn't to serve you."

"See, that's what annoys me." Dee grinned.

Sam shook his head, ruffled through her hair and kissed the top of her head. "Goodbye, spoilt little brat."

"Goodbye, bossy old father." Dee wrapped her small arms tightly around her father's waist. She couldn't even fully embrace him, so tall was he, and she loved every inch of her Dad's impressive presence. Knowing that she could always bury her head in his hard chest and have those strong arms of his wrap around her made her believe that no matter what happened, she would always be safe. No matter how much trouble she stirred up.

"How was your date with the kindergartner?"

"Excuse me?" Sam looked at his beautiful young wife across the table of their favourite café. June, now 29 against his almost 40 years, seemed to have aged not one day ever since they met; she accounted it to her exclusive caviar-and-whatnot, 280$-a-crucible day cream, Sam had a different theory that he didn't voice since he could do well without the ensuing discussions: The immortality contract June's family had brewed up for centuries was still intact. Would be until the twins' eighteenth birthday, when his hunter blood would break the cycle. Which would leave June not aging for another eleven years.

Given his theory was correct, Sam would rather not imagine what an odd couple they would have made in some years if they didn't have children and nothing would break the spell.

"Oh, come on, Sam, don't tell me you never caught the hungry eyes Dee's kindergartner shoots you about everytime you drop her off." June reached for a strawberry and plopped it into her mouth.

"Apparently you're a much better observant of the women checking me out than I am."

"I keep close tabs on what's mine," June growled. The only downside of having a husband with forbidden good looks – now as much as ten years ago – was having to mark her territory each day anew.

Alright, so June enjoyed that. As much as Sam enjoyed the jealous stares he received everytime he had his arm around June's waist; and like each time June treated the countless approaches of men of all age groups – that included those younger than himself, too – with not only cool indifference or ignorance, but sometimes even active denial. And June had never been known for subtleness.

"And you call me possessive."

"You are," June said matter-of-factly and took a sip of her coffee. "But you don't hear me complaining."

"That's because you like it."

June just smirked, leaned across the table to kiss Sam deeply. "So, kindergarten hasn't called yet to inform us Dee set the thing on fire-"

"Don't give the girl any ideas. I don't put it past her to mix glycerine and whatnot to build a very effective bomb."

"Well, I suppose she just has an early teenage defiance phase."

"Some phase that is, lasting from birth until now… and no end in sight."

"You reap what you sow, dearest."

"Don't blame me. That is all you."

"Whoa, genetic research might be good, but it ain't as good as replacing the father party of reproduction yet. So it's not all my doing." June carelessly tossed a hundred-dollar note onto the table; for a lunch that couldn't have cost more than sixty in all. "But now, my godly husband, we've got to make use of the allotted child-free time and have loud sex."

"Did you ever wonder if maybe your sexdrive is in overdrive?"

"No, not really. I like it how it is. So far, I've got to say you keep up pretty well, considering, you know, you're heading for the forties…"

Out on the street, Sam threw June over his shoulder, not caring the one or other odd stare he received for that.

"Careful you don't get lumbago."

"Oh, don't worry. You haven't gained that much weight, sweetheart."

June laughed and let Sam carry her into the lobby of their apartment building. "If I were you I'd be more careful. Men your age start putting on weight."

"Not with your cooking they don't."

"Touché, dearest husband." June growled unwillingly. "Then again, I do have one speciality, and it requires nothing but chocolate sauce-"

"June. Could you at least wait until we're in our apartment?"

"Why? Anyone who feels bad because of our active sex life can just not listen."

"You know, I think Dee's vengeance. It's your karma coming back to bite you."

"I'd rather have you bite me."

Sam shook his head somewhere in-between despair and amusement. June would never shut up until she got what she wanted.

Luckily for her, her desires were a lot easier for Sam to accommodate than Delayna's. Maybe it was not so much the nature of her wish than rather simply the fact that she was a grown-up that she got what she wanted – in which case there was another apocalypse in store for the world the moment Delayna hit adulthood.

Two Winchester women of June's calibre were too much for one planet to handle.

So there will be one more chapter to tie up a few lose ends and such. =) Thank you to all those who have favorited, alerted and reviewed, you make a writer's day and keep the inspiration flowing (and it's direly needed now that SPN has chosen to go on yet another torturous hiatus)!

xoxo