A long time ago, on an island resort far, far away...KOTAROU HAS BEEN KILLED?! O_o

"KOTAROU-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!" Longhorn Onizawa cried, falling to his knees in despair.

Kuchi smirked, and kicked Onizawa in the back. "C'mon, you little brat," he snarled, "Turn around and face me!! It's your turn to die now!!!"

However, Onizawa continued to weep over his friend's death. 'Always...despite my fearsome, strange appearance...I'm always...I'm always so...I'm just so...WEAK. Kotarou-san is my friend...and I just let him die...BUT I WON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!'

Raising his hand over Onizawa's head, a long needle formed out of Kuchi's palm. "DIE, YOU PITIFUL SCUM!!!" Laughing like a madman, Kuchi thrust his hand forward...

"EVACUATION OF FIST: HELL RESORT TOWEL!!!"

Suddenly, a hot fresh towel fired out of Onizawa's cannon at high speed, and it smacked into Kuchi's chest, sending him flying backwards. 'This...this is the power of resort towels?!' he wondered, coughing up blood.

Standing back on his feet, a powerful yanki aura flowed off of Onizawa's body. Turning to face Kuchi, Onizawa now looked positively pissed; his entire personality had altered itself. Of course, he wasn't going under any massive transformation like Masato had, but any possible power Onizawa had within him had finally been unleashed!

"YOU...YOU KILLED KOTAROU-SAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Onizawa screamed, "I'LL FREAKIN' BEAT YOU TO DEATH FOR THAT!!! YOU'LL SUFFER THROUGH WHAT YOU MADE HIM SUFFER THROUGH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Kuchi got back to his feet. "Please...that whole 'intense anger unleashes true power' concept is so overdone, starting back all the way from Dragon Ball and probably earlier. This won't be an easy fight for you no matter what, so stop acting like you're such a badass!!!"

Gasping, Onizawa fell to his knees again and his yanki aura diminished. "You're right," he whimpered, "What was I thinking...?"

'WHOA! HE'S BACK TO NORMAL!!' Kuchi thought.

"Still," Onizawa remarked, getting back on his feet once more, "You don't seem terribly tough...you seem to be even weaker than those Metro Sekiranun High bastards..."

"WHAAAT?! How dare you...comparing me to idiotic yankees from such a low-ranked school!!! My power alone is stronger than that of Dong Zhuo, Yuan Shu and Feng Yuxiang(1) combined! Hell, I'm good enough to challenge even the likes of your leader Chagecha!!" Kuchi barked, not used to taking such insults.

In the background, the face of an old man formed in the clouds above. "The reason you can't win... is because you're just a puppet," Onizawa said bluntly.

"YOU LITTLE FUDGE-CRACKER!!! I'LL CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN!!!"

Onizawa gasped. 'Was...was that a racial slur?!'

The old man in the sky nodded.

"HERE I COME, CHUMP!" Kuchi swung his arms in a criss-cross motion, and he sent several DS styluses flying straight at Onizawa's face. Closing his eyes, Onizawa bent forward, and swiped his hand. All of the styluses flew by without even hitting him. Opening his palm, Longhorn Onizawa revealed he had caught a small button in his hands!

"What?! What?! What the hell happened?!" Kuchi cried in confusion.

Dropping the button onto the floor, Onizawa proclaimed, "The Department of Health in Tokyo just called; they want their idiot back."

Kuchi snarled and held out his left arm. Suddenly, it began to unravel like rope, and then twisted back together to form a spear-shaped appendage. Smirking, Kuchi exclaimed, "How do you like that? You stupid little ugly dumbass! I'll tear through your guts!!!"

Longhorn Onizawa got into a cool pose and replied, "...Bring it."

Before anything could be brought, however, all of the water within the pool burst upwards into the sky.

"RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Kuchi stopped in mid-run and looked up. "WHAT...WHAT THE HELL?!"

Longhorn Onizawa gasped as he watched a figure flowing with yanki aura emerge from the now-empty pool...it was Kotarou, and the hole in his throat had fully healed. His eyes were now a dark red, and small bolts of electricity burst off of his skin as his power steadily grew even more.

"K...Kotarou-san, you're alive!" Onizawa exclaimed happily.

Kotarou ignored the horned weirdo and kicked him off into the air. His sights set straight at Kuchi, the black-haired teen grabbed a handful of his own hair, tore it off, and it immediately regrew on his head. At that moment, his power became even more incredible, unleashing a giant burst of yanki energy that sent huge cracks throughout the entire tiled floor.

'This...this amazing amount of power...reminds me of that boy fighting Queen Charlotte...' Kuchi thought nervously, 'His yanki energy suddenly unleashed to a point of extreme, and the evil inside of him was shown for the first time. However, this guy...I can't even tell! His aura is so twisted, dark and strange...like his stare alone could kill me...'

Crouching down, steam flowed out of Kotarou's mouth as he hissed, "You bastard...you bastard...you bastard...you're just like...you're just like those bitches who went and dissed Yoshio Sawai-sama!! Because of you, Shinsetsu Bo-bobo and Chagecha ended early!!! I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS, YOU HATEFUL MANGA CRITIC!!!"

"But...but I didn't do anything!!!" Kuchi cried.

Rushing at the puppet man, Kotarou smashed his palm against Kuchi's chest, and shards of wood and synthetic flesh were sent flying into pieces. Coughing up a strange black liquid, Kuchi knelt down and clutched his stomach; Kotarou had sent a powerful shockwave through his entire body with just touching him.

'D...Damn it...'

"NOW...FEEL MY WRATH, PARTICLE-MAN(2)!!!"

Kotarou swung around once, and Kuchi collapsed to the ground, his head landing a few feet away. Screaming like mad, the enraged high schooler snatched up the remains of Kuchi's body, and tore it clean in half.

Still screaming his head off, Longhorn Onizawa crashed back to the floor. Sitting up, he gasped and exclaimed, "OH NO...KOTAROU HAS CAUSED AN EVEN MORE DEVASTATING EXPLOSION!!!"

"This ain't even like Istanbul(3)..." Kotarou muttered, before falling asleep.

Onizawa wiped the sweat from his forehead and thought, 'Damn, I guess I really should just remain as a pathetic gag character from now on...'

THE REFERENCE INDEX:

(1) - All three people Kuchi named were Japanese warlords.

(2) - A reference to the song 'Particle Man' by 'They Might Be Giants'.

(3) - A reference to the song 'Istanbul' by 'They Might Be Giants'.