Last chapter here we go!
Forks and Knives
It was that day all parents are waiting for, the day their kids stand in front of them in fully dressed to receive their diploma. Bridget had been shuffling around preparing Brittany for her two seconds on stage.
"Mom, you're not supposed to be on your feet!"
"Honey, I'm a nurse. I'll know when enough is enough. But right now, the limit doesn't exist. I'm so excited to see you graduate!" Bridget pressed a kiss to her daughters head before picking up a brush, "Now to make you the most gorgeous girl on stage."
Brittany sat as still as possible while her mother worked orange onto her cheeks. She hadn't seen Santana today and yesterday still played on loop in her mind.
"Santana, tell me what's wrong." The girl yanked her hand away and marched off just like she had done in the auditorium. For the life of her, Brittany couldn't tell why Santana had not accepted the award. She deserved it. Everyone in the damned auditorium knew it. Brittany knew there was only ever one reason for Santana to run away, fear.
She didn't follow Santana. Later, her mother told her the school board had moved onto the next award and would send Santana's one to their house.
Santana was at the station talking to Malcolm about Carly Edwick. The Chief informed Santana that the girl had been given a 20 year sentence but because she participated, it had been cut to 10 years. The damage costs she would have to pay amounted to $200,000. On this account, Carly's parents would cover the costs. Malcolm needed Santana to give her bank account so the wiring could take place.
Malcolm asked how the house was coming along. Santana had already gotten a team of construction workers to renovate the charred building. The progress had been steady, Santana told Malcolm. Both floors of the house were cleaned and the actual floors repaired. Santana had decided to remodel the old house to give it a more modern look. Even if she wasn't planning to stick around Lima, at least she knew she would have a home here when she needed a place to escape. And it would be solely hers, no more remnants of the past. She was starting fresh.
The colors she had chosen for the walls were both dull and flaming. She had always loved clashing colors, and now the whole house displayed that, not only her bedroom.
"You know, she was very sorry," Malcolm broke her thoughts. "She wanted to tell you herself. Maybe you want to visit her?"
"I don't know if I'm ready," Santana was truly unsure if seeing the girl would bring her back to that state of rage, she didn't need a trigger. "I'll think about it." She smiled and said goodbye.
Outside, Santana instantly remembered that she should hurry to Brittany's house. She hadn't seen her yet as she had woken early to check on the progress of her house. Thinking of Brittany made her smile. It was Brittany's day of triumph; she had completed her senior year and was graduating.
Brittany finished fitting her graduation cloak over her shoulders. It draped over her slim frame, ending perfectly at her ankles. She observed this in the full length mirror. How her life had changed since moving to Lima, Ohio. The place she vowed had nothing in store for her. She was pleasantly surprised; Lima had brought her right to Santana.
Six months, that's how long it had taken for her life to be turned upside down. She smiled bashfully at her own reflection, no longer a high-school student but a grown adult ready to take on the world.
Two hands fitted over her eyes as the object of her daydreaming came up from behind her. She didn't have to see to know who it was. She and Santana had developed that intimate relationship where the other's close vicinity, feelings or actions could be felt without the use of traditional senses. Santana's hands emanated warmth and love. Brittany wanted the feeling to last forever.
"I missed you," Brittany made no effort to escape the darkness. Her eyes adjusted to the light again when Santana's hands dropped to her shoulders. Santana kissed the tenseness away from Brittany's neck.
"I love you and I'm so proud of you." Santana checked the entirety of Brittany's outfit. "You're missing something." She scooped the hat from Brittany's bed and placed it gently on the girl's head, bringing the plume to rest in the back. "Now you're ready."
"I've been ready to graduate for ages," Brittany countered. In the moment of silence, her playful mood dropped along with her smile. "San, please tell me about yesterday."
The mood switched instantly, both girls knowing that they had to talk. Santana hadn't said anything because she didn't want to sound like a broken record player, relaying the same worries and fears she was supposed to have overcome. But Brittany's face showed only understanding and acceptance. It would be okay, Santana told herself. Brittany would have to understand.
Santana told the whole story. Her conscience had dictated her actions. Santana was a lot of things but never one to sacrifice integrity.
"I still don't know what to do with it." She sighed.
"Keep it and be proud of it," Brittany drew Santana's hands to rest in her own. "Can I try to change your mind? Because I don't think there's only one correct way to see this situation." Santana nodded.
"Do you think two girls loving each other so much that they kiss, they hold hands in public, they do romantic things for each other, and promise to love each other forever and ever is wrong?"
"No,"
"Do you think what we are doing is wrong? Forget our roles in McKinley."
"Loving you could never be wrong Brittany,"
"Then be proud of your award. You were the best teacher this year; emphasis on 'teacher'. And Santana, it's only wrong if you think its wrong; Just like being gay is wrong only to the people who don't like it."
"Brittany Pierce, did you know you are a genius?"Santana laughed and patted Brittany on the back. Everything made sense; it reinforced Santana's theory that everything made sense when she was with Brittany.
The two girls broke from their hug as they heard Bridget's voice calling for them.
"Come on, your mom actually sent me to bring you down for pictures."
Fifteen minutes later, and Santana was taking one more shot of Brittany and Bridget. There seemed to be no end of smiles. Bridget's displayed so much pride while Brittany's radiated happiness. Their smiles were infectious. Looking at the shot she'd just taken from the screen, Santana nodded to her subjects that it was another photo worthy to be hung on the wall. Santana was sure these pictures would remain forever in a photo book of memories. If only Santana could have one picture. She had told herself that it was Brittany's day, she wouldn't interfere; she fit nowhere in the mother-daughter celebration. Maybe keeping a snapshot of Brittany beaming from the inside out was enough, she would never forget. But it wouldn't hurt to have something tangible, not at all.
As if reading her thoughts, Bridget jumped forward and wrestled the camera from Santana's hand. She stood still arms swinging, not knowing what she was expected to do.
"Go on, get close to Brittany and smile real big for the camera." Suddenly understanding, Santana flushed a rosy pink. She walked gingerly to Brittany's side, leaving what she considered a good space between their bodies. After all, they were meant to be student and teacher; nothing more. Santana didn't want to start any drama now, although the itch to come clean was growing more and more irate as the days of Santana and Brittany's present drew to a close. The small voice inside told her that she and Brittany could not start the next chapter of their lives on a good foot without telling Bridget the nature of their relationship. Bridget was the only family Brittany had, and Santana was not going to let it erode slowly by slowly because of the lies they would be forced to tell.
"Closer," Bridget swatted as she framed the shot. Santana stepped further into Brittany till their shoulders were touching and their faces were only inches away. She looked up into the bright blue eyes she'd grown so fond of, and then the flash went off. Bridget had them do several poses. Santana eventually loosened up and did some goofy shots because Brittany wanted to and Santana never says no to Brittany.
"It's time," Santana realizes just as Bridget announces they should be on their way. She kind of wants Brittany to ride with her although she would never ask. Mother-daughter day, remember?
Brittany seems to be of the same mind, she's torn between choosing Santana or her mom but in the end gets swept into Bridget's car. It's alright for Brittany; it just means she'll be spending the next fifteen minutes waiting to be reunited with Santana.
It was probably better anyways. When Bridget and Brittany arrive, Santana is nowhere to be seen. Brittany left her mother with a good-bye kiss and went to sit in her designated seat in the front row. All the other parents were seated in the back.
Red and blue, the colors of McKinley, hung bold and unwavering along the edge of the raised platform and podium. The backdrop was a vibrant blue, intentionally so that the graduates red robes would stand out against it.
Principle Figgins took the stage to a rather loud cheer. It must have been the first time he was welcomed with such applause. He gave a speech to the student body, the faculty and the parents and guardians who had come to celebrate the end of high-school for the graduating seniors. Thankfully, there were no public service announcements about snakes in the sewers or anything equally embarrassing; Figgin's had it all under control. Next there came the valedictorian who gave a predictable speech with all the required elements. If Santana wasn't aware that she was a teacher and therefore had to be on her best behavior, she would have slouched in her seat and nodded off.
Finally came the time for all the seniors to get in line to receive their diplomas from Principle Figgins. The band started to play the schools anthem as one by one the seniors paraded onto the stage.
Santana cheered the loudest when it was Brittany's turn.
When the formalities were complete, the glee club blasted the stage with 'Long Live'. Most of the teenagers could be seen singing along; a surprising number of closeted Taylor Swift fans were revealed.
On the count of three, all the graduates flung their hats into the air for the camera.
Brittany politely pushed her way through the body of students. Everyone was equal today; the thought brought a smile to her face. Today, no one was the bully, no one the nerd, no one the social outcast; that part of life was over.
"Sorry," Brittany apologized. She was reaching the clearing and in her haste had bumped someone especially hard. She just wanted to see Santana's face and tell her how relieved she felt it was all over. Brittany's eyes turned to meet the person she had apologized to.
"Brittany," The name sounded weird coming off Max's lips. Brittany gave him a forced smile, not wanting to ruin her day or his. She noticed the girl hanging onto Max, and felt more at ease. He had moved on fast.
"Max," she returned not knowing what else to say. There was a long pause before either of them moved. Brittany turned to leave but Max blurted out, "I'm sorry."
I'm not Brittany thought as she gave a slight nod.
Santana and her mother were waiting for her to appear out of the sea of people. When Bridget saw her, she quickly went in for an embrace. Santana took a few pictures for mother and daughter, and then Brittany grabbed her and hugged her tightly. Bridget snapped some photo's completely oblivious to the half smile Santana was forcing.
Santana sat at the Pierce house, waiting for Brittany to get home. She had been invited by some of the glee club kids to get lunch at Breadstix. It was her and Bridget; it would be the perfect opportunity. She was sitting in her temporary room with her bags packed and ready to move back into her home. Half the construction work was done anyways, and there was no way she could stay on at the Pierce's after her talk with Bridget. The note she had been writing was finally complete, she left it partially under the bedside lamp. Santana grabbed the one bag of clothes she had and took a final look at the room.
"Where are you going Santana?" Bridget rushed out of the kitchen at the sight of Santana lugging her travel bag through the front door. She hadn't asked Santana to move out so the girl must be taking a trip Bridget concluded.
"I'm moving back into my house," Santana faced Bridget head on. "There's something I need to tell you."
Later that afternoon, Brittany bounced cheerfully through the front door; her cap was still on even though her gown had been removed. Her eyes instantly caught her mother sitting at the dining table. She stared blankly at the opposite wall.
"Where's Santana mom?" Brittany set her things on the chair opposite her mother.
"Brittany, do you have something to tell me? What are you and Santana doing?"
Brittany felt as if the wind was knocked out of her. Did Santana tell on them? Why today of all things? She suddenly felt angry that Santana would ruin her day like this that she would choose today to tell her mother!
"What did Santana say?" Brittany lowered her head; she didn't dare look into her mother's eyes. She wasn't ready for the confession.
"Before she left, she said you would tell me why and that she was sorry."
"Where did Santana go," Brittany demanded, she had to talk to her.
"She moved back to her house! And you are supposed to tell me why!" When Bridget shouted, it was scary. Brittany could remember her mother being angry only once or twice in her whole life. "What are you two up to?"
"Mom, I just have to talk to Santana first,"
"No, you'll tell me now Brittany." Bridget came forward standing only one foot away from Brittany. "Was I wrong to trust her? What trouble has she got you involved in?"
"Nothing mom! Santana and I aren't in any trouble!"
"Then tell me what's going on!"
"Fine, you want to know?" Brittany molded her hands into fists, this was it. "I'm in love with Santana, and she loves me."
Bridget's reaction slowly mirrored one of horror as she realized what Brittany was saying.
"You were having an illicit affair with your teacher? How long has this been going on?"
"On my birthday she was so sweet to spend it with me instead of having to spend it alone. And I kissed her."
"You started it?"
"Yes, I was in love with her first. Are you angry that I like girls? Or is it because it's Santana."
"How could you even think of doing this Brittany! She's your teacher, it's against the law!"
"It's not mom! I'm 19"
"The school has rules and you both violated them, I need to tell the school."
"Seriously mom! It's over, why would you think of telling the school. I graduated; I'm not a student anymore. Santana isn't my teacher!"
"What you both did was still wrong," Bridget pointed at Brittany for emphasis. "I won't allow you to see her; she is not a good influence. Look how she corrupted you!"
Brittany was not ready to give up. Her mom was practically kissing the ground Santana walked on before finding out what they had done. "So now she's bad? What about all the times you couldn't repay her for being so kind and going out of her way to help me graduate? All of a sudden you don't think she's good for me?"
"If I knew what you two were doing behind my back, I would have never welcomed her into my home."
"Would you mind at all if she wasn't my teacher? Sure it was against the school's rules but why do you think it's wrong?"
"That's beside the point, you both knowingly did what you knew was wrong. It can't go on. You will no longer see Santana, is that clear?"
Brittany shook her head in defiance. "The only thing that's clear to me is that you won't accept that I love Santana and that Santana is the best thing that has happened to me. She changed me for the better, and her kindness made me fall in love with her. No one but you cared for me before, but Santana loved me when she didn't have to. Can't you see mom? Santana is the only reason I'm happy and have a future. I love her mom and if you can't accept that then I don't think you should accept me as your daughter."
The words shocked Bridget as much as Brittany, but they were said and couldn't be taken back. "I'm leaving."
"Where are you going?" Bridget barely could get out before Brittany slammed the front door shut.
Santana wasn't expecting this. She wasn't expecting him. She felt like she was entering some sort of horror movie see had seen before. Of course he would be here to inspect the house, Santana internally smacked herself; nothing more. She would tell him everything was okay and he would leave. She would not see him again for another ten years.
"Dad, what are you doing here?" Santana approached the back of the man she knew could only be her father. He was tall and stately as ever, only now with graying hair.
"Hello to you Santana, my my, your looks are certainly dangerous."
Santana had no idea what he was talking about and he still hadn't answered her question. "Is there anything you need from me?"
"Nope, just here to check out the damage; you know I built this house to model a church."
"Get to the point," Santana skipped the 'being nice' part, apparently her dad was exactly the same.
"I'm looking at your designs and they are very…modern. It clashes so conveniently with the original design; always rebellious as ever, Santana." He shook his head in disappointment.
Santana had no problems with his disappointment, she had always been disappointed with him; the dad she never wanted. "Great so you don't like it, which is exactly why I like it; is there anything else?"
"I found the story very amusing." He chuckled; it made Santana want to hit him with a frying pan. "The police told me it was a crime of passion."
"It was nothing like that; some crazy ass bitch set the house on fire because she has a fucking mental illness." Santana was impatient for her father to leave. "Tell me why you're back here."
"To talk to you about the Lopez reputation."
Santana rolled her eyes, "I'm gay and there's nothing you can do about it. Fifteen years, that should have sunk in already."
"Oh I know you are too far gone for saving dear, but damage control is necessary. It's the rumors I need to deal with."
"I don't know what you're talking about. Nobody knows we're even related. I've stayed off your radar."
"Until now that is," Her father sat on a nearby workers bench, "It has come to my attention that you have a girlfriend, yes?"
"What does this have to do with her?" Santana took a step forward.
"So you don't deny it. I saw her today."
"You did what?" How could her father have already tracked down Brittany? Who had given him information?
"Newly graduated from a school you teach at if I'm correct."
"How did you even find out?"
"You haven't been down to the prison to see a Ms. Carly Edwick have you? She told me to tell you she's very sorry."
"What were you doing there?" Santana couldn't believe her ears, her father had gone to see the person who burnt their house and they talked about her.
"To get some answers." He shrugged, "she was in a very confessing mood; told me all about Brittany. I connected the dots to the Chief's story about the school girl Brittany you've been getting close to."
"Whatever, what does this have to do with Brittany or me for that matter?"
"It's much worse than I expected Santana, not only are you a heartbreaking lesbian but one who screws high-school students." Her father pretended to look hurt about her actions but the underlying sneer was unmistakable. "Do you want that to get out?"
"Are…" Santana could barely put it into words, "are you blackmailing me? What do you want?"
"We can do this the easy way or the hard way," He leaned forward and folded his hands; he smiled now that he had Santana's full attention. "As I said, rumors are dangerous and I can't have anything gay attached to my name. This fire news has put you on the radar and I want to remove you. This is what I propose. This weekend you come with me to L.A. to an art gallery opening. I'll make sure you have a boyfriend and you pretend that you are seeing him. Make it convincing and I'll let you off the hook. The media will be there; once they see you with a man and I give a statement, no one will doubt your sexuality. You can come back here to this 'no one cares' state and fuck whoever you want."
"And if I say no?" Santana already knew the answer.
"Then I tell everybody you're dating a high-school student. You'll be known as the lesbian slut who fucks children and then I'll have to make a grand display of disowning you. Tragic." He had her in the palm of his hand.
"When do we have to leave?"
Her father stood up and grasped her shoulders as if she'd just saved the earth. "Now mija, go pack a bag."
Santana shook herself free. "Don't call me that and promise me I can come back on Sunday." She made no move to go anywhere.
"You'll come back whenever I'm satisfied, like I said, so make it convincing."
There was no way to fight it. Her dad would ruin her if she did not comply and it would affect Brittany as well. "I hate you," She spat in his face.
You were too late, Brittany cried alone on the sidewalk in front of Santana's house. She wasn't here and Brittany had no idea where to look for her. She only received one text message from Santana telling her that everything would be okay. What did everything mean? Even though Brittany knew Santana wouldn't be home, she had to see for herself.
The property had been empty, the last of the workmen packing his things.
"Ms. Lopez has halted construction for an undecided period of time. I don't know where she went."
Those words were the confirmation she dreaded. Santana was gone and she didn't know where to find her. She reviewed the Santana's text again.
Britt, I'm sorry I'm going to miss your dance competition. I left all the details in my room at your house. Best of luck. Don't come looking for me. I'll find you. Until then, I love you. S.
The text said 'don't come looking for me' but that was the only thing Brittany's heart was telling her to do. Where could Santana be, where, where, where…
It dawned on her, she raced back home.
Santana had enough of her father. After all this time and she still couldn't stand his presence. Figures she told herself, the only time he noticed she existed was when she was a threat to his image. She was already counting down the hours to when she would be done with him.
So far she had endured 5 hours in his company and was not looking forward to more. When he off-handedly said he'd prepared a room for her in his house she rejected it. She'd be damned if she let him call all the shots on this short trip.
"I have friends in L.A., keep your charity for your 201 concubines."
He laughed when he should have been offended; it angered Santana even more.
"Suit yourself," he shrugged as his personal limo parked by the curb. "I'll call you tomorrow."
Santana rolled her eyes and called a taxi. She had already arranged to stay with Mercedes.
An hour later and she was standing on the doorstep of her friend's mansion. If only her father could see what type of friends she had. She felt no remorse in throwing his condo back in his face when she would be living in this palace.
The automatic doors seemed to sense her presence as they parted for her. Talk about feeling like royalty. Deep down, Santana felt guilty for not giving Brittany any details of her departure. She didn't want to drag Brittany into this, the girl would be so concerned about her and her father that she wouldn't focus on what she had to do. It would be over in two days anyways, and then Santana would explain everything.
"Santana" Mercedes came bounding out on the porch and gathered her up in her arms. "You're here! I can't count how many times I told you to visit."
"I know, I was in town so…" Santana didn't explain further.
Mercedes lead her into the giant house. Everything was marble; the pillars, floor, walls, statues, just everything.
"Let me show you you're room, oh and tonight Sam and I are taking you out."
"Sure, sounds fun."
The room was one out of an old Victorian movie complete with heavy cream colored drapes, king size bed with bed posts and picturesque carpet. "That bed is calling for me." Santana plopped her overnight bag by the bed post and jumped head first into the mountain of pillows. Mercedes only laughed at her antics.
"Are you sure, this is your guest room?"
"I have more money than I know what to do with; I know it can be overwhelming."
"I love to be overwhelmed, come here." Santana sat up and patted the giant bed.
"So, what are you doing in town?"
"I'm having trouble with my dad. He's blackmailing me to be seen in public with a dude because of the fire incident."
"What does that have to do with anything?" Mercedes asked.
"Apparently the whole world thinks I'm a lesbian slut now because one of my lovers set fire to my house." Santana used air quotes. "and it's affecting my dad's flawless image."
"I hope you don't mind me saying so but you're dad is like the ultimate asshole and everyone here knows it. It's not like you being a lesbian is going to hurt him more than being papped coming out of playboy mansion."
"Is that what he's doing nowadays? I haven't been keeping track."
"Does Brittany know?" Santana gulped. "She doesn't? You know, this very scenario has happened before. What if she sees the pictures before you can explain."
"It's just she has her dance competition on Sunday, and I don't want this to be a distraction."
"I think you should tell her."
Brittany got off the bus at the community center. She hadn't even gone home. Her mother had been ringing her but Brittany ignored her phone. Going to the back of the furthest building, she wove her way through the car park till she saw him waving.
She was lucky he was free today.
"Hey, are you alright? You sounded kind of panicky on the phone." Crey handed her a pink helmet with bright yellow blossom stickers pasted all over.
"Yeah, thanks for helping me out. I promise I'll pay you." Brittany said as she straddled the seat of the scooter and buckled up.
"No problem, hold on tight."
The drive took much longer with Crey's scooter. For the two hours, Brittany kept thinking of what she would say to Santana. Nothing would matter, she decided; she would just tell her that her mom knew now and propose to run away together. She smiled at the thought of doing something so rouge.
"We're here princess," Crey patted Brittany's arms wound tight around his waist. "Wake up." Brittany didn't even know she'd fallen asleep until she felt her arms being shaken.
"Oh sorry, did you find the place?" She looked at the shop they had stopped in front. "Yeah, this is it thanks. I'll only be a minute. Come in and wait for me."
Brittany led Crey by the hand into 'Barcelona.' "Order a drink on me, I won't be long I promise." She left him sitting as she headed to the counter, "Is Matteo here?" she addressed the cashier girl.
"Yeah, he's upstairs. Who should I say is here for him?"
"Brittany."
"Okay, wait a second," She dialed his number. "Boss, there's a girl named Brittany here to see you. Okay." She hung up and smiled at Brittany, "you can go right up."
"Thank you," Brittany breathed. She started for the stairs but turned back. "Did you by any chance see a Latin girl, a friend of Matteo's, come by today?"
The girl thought for a moment. Brittany realized what a stupid question she had asked, most of the people frequenting this restaurant would be Latin or of Latin decent.
"No, Matteo hasn't had any visitors today." The girl answered. Brittany's heart dropped into her stomach. Maybe the girl just hadn't seen Santana come in.
Brittany gave her a tight lipped smile and walked towards the stairs.
"Hey Brittany, glad to see you again so soon," Matteo hugged her. She hugged him back.
"I hope I'm not disturbing you or anything," She tried to retain some sort of politeness even though she was itching to ask about Santana.
"Nope, just going over the accounts. Sit, I'll bring you some water." Brittany obliged and took a seat away from the balance sheets scattered around.
"Here you go." Matteo presented before taking his own seat. "So what brings you here today?"
Brittany decided to address the elephant in the room. "Is Santana here?" she blurted.
"Should she be?" Matteo responded. "Was she planning to visit?"
"So she's not here."
"No, I haven't seen her since the last time you were both here. What's happened?"
Brittany felt like crying. Santana wasn't here like she thought she'd be. She thought maybe Santana had to get away from Lima for a bit to think and certainly, Santana would come here. "But I thought, where would she go if not here?"
"Brittany," Matteo scooted closer and soothed her with short strokes on her back. "Did Santana break up with you? It happens, and then she always feels sorry and goes back. Don't worry."
"No," Brittany shook her head, "she didn't break up with me; she just left. I don't know why. She warned me not to look for her; she said she'd find me. But I need her."
"She has her reasons. She'll come back I promise." Brittany couldn't bear the weight of hopelessness any longer. She covered her face and cried thinking about what she would do if Santana didn't come back.
When she got home, she avoided her mother and stomped up the stairs to Santana's room. She went to grab the little note Santana had left. There was nothing particularly for her just details of the dance competition. She clutched the paper tightly, crumpling it in her fist.
"Another shot?" Santana nodded. She used to enjoy these kinds of outings so much, but the last time she'd been in a club did not end well. Brittany was all she could think about. Her hand toyed with her phone. More than once, she'd gone so far as to pull up Brittany's number, but no, it was best if Brittany stayed out of it.
Maybe she should send a text to let Brittany know she was okay.
"Santana, get off your ass. It's not every day you get a little free time from your girlfriend." Mercedes effectively dragged Santana away from the bar just as her drink was arriving. She pulled back and grabbed it, throwing the contents into her throat. God it felt good.
"Dance with me," Santana was hesitant to move amidst all the foreign bodies but seeing as Mercedes was close, she started to dance with her. She tried not to bump and grind with other people while she maneuvered around her friend. "Seriously Santana, that pout has to go. I know you're bummed about your house and your dad but let loose!"
She just wasn't feeling it. Her head started to spin and her eyes played tricks with the lighting. A blonde head of hair would turn around and then Brittany would be there only to be gone as Santana was calling out. She was tired from the trip to L.A. and hadn't taken a nap.
All of a sudden her stomach lurched; she did the best she could to keep it down. Drinking without eating first is like rule number one that all drinkers should know, but it had slipped her mind.
"Excuse me, sorry," Santana pushed her way off the dance floor towards what looked like the bathroom. She couldn't tell heads from tails anymore. The door was just in front of her, she only had to hold on for a minute longer. Bursting through, she found herself outside in a back alley. The cold spiked two-fold and she shivered. Her coat was still inside and she had nothing to protect her bare arms. Her stomach churned again and this time she let it all out. Carefully she stood up. Her back hit the concrete wall as she breathed in the city air. It smelled terrible and only made her stomach feel worse.
How she wished to be home with Brittany. She wished to hear her voice. Suddenly it didn't seem like such a good idea to leave Brittany out of the loop. What if she was worrying herself sick over her?
Santana looked down at her hands, her phone was supposed to be there. Quickly she reentered the club and went to the bar.
"Have you seen my phone?" She struggled to be heard over the music. "Hey, you!" She motioned for the bartender who had served her drink. "Where's my phone? I left it here." He looked at Santana and at the counter. He shook his head and shrugged before getting back to the demanding customers.
"Asshole," Santana shouted as she shoved the other customers along the counter. Fifteen minutes of searching resulted in nothing. Her phone was nowhere to be found.
"There you are Santana! I've been looking for you." Santana clung to Mercedes like a drowning person. The room was spinning too much.
"My phone," was all she could get out, "need my phone."
"Where did you leave it?"
"I don't know," Santana looked around her frantically at the floor, at the lights, at the people. "I need to call Brittany."
"I think you've had enough for one night." Mercedes said near Santana's ear, "Let's go home and you can call Brittany."
Santana nodded, "okay, but I need to call Brittany."
Sam appeared and helped Mercedes walk Santana out of the club. She was out cold the moment she hit the bed.
One o'clock. Brittany tried to shut out the greed LED light. Her body ached from dancing; she hadn't stopped until she was completely exhausted. She was glad Crey had stuck around to watch her and give her pointers but mostly she missed Santana. Dancing helped clear her mind, it transcended her to a different world. She danced like she was dancing with Santana among the stars.
The community center was shutting down for the day, that's the only reason Brittany trudged home. Her high spirits came crashing to the ground. Her mind was telling her she had to be mentally prepared for Sunday. She couldn't blow this chance because Santana wasn't here. Santana would want her to do her best but how was that possible when her very inspiration was gone?
She didn't say a word to her mother when she got home. She grabbed two strawberry yogurts and made the same blend she had made on Santana's first visit to her home. Everything reminded her of Santana.
No one could blame her for not trying; she'd already called Santana twenty-three times.
Her mother came to see how she was doing but she wasn't in the mood to say anything. She'd already tried to explain that she had not done anything to force Santana to leave. Brittany still blamed her because she couldn't find another explanation.
She picked up the tickets on the floor besides Brittany's bed along with the crumpled note. Bridget read it through and placed the three items on the table.
"Brittany, I need time to adjust to what's going on." Her mother pleaded but Brittany ignored her. "Please talk to me and don't run away again, I was worried."
"Mom, tomorrow I'm going to look for Santana. I'll be back when I find her." Brittany said stubbornly.
"But you have a flight to catch at 2pm, to Los Angeles,"
"What if I don't want to go?" Brittany didn't really believe the words coming out of her mouth. She'd be truly stupid to let her chance go, but her desire to show her mom how much she'd give to be with Santana raged stronger than logic. "What if Santana is more important to me than dancing?"
"Do you really mean that Brittany?" It was the first time Bridget sounded like she could possibly consider accepting her relationship.
"Santana is my everything; I love her mom."
"Look Brittany, I can't say I approve what you did. But I take back what I said about her being a bad influence; I've never seen you so happy and living outside of your shell. I am very grateful towards her for that, I just need time to fully accept that you two are in a serious relationship. Let me make you a promise, we go to Los Angeles for the competition and win or lose, we look for Santana afterwards. Please don't run away, that's all I'm asking."
Brittany had nodded, mostly because she didn't see another alternative. Either way she had to get the competition over with.
Finally, her brain exhausted her and her eye lids shut at 2am. She fell asleep with Santana's name on her lips.
Her father's friends represented everything she hated about people in Hollywood. They were so fake.
Santana sent a foul glare to her partner who had tightened her arm with his. She didn't care that he was good looking because that's all he had going for him. His perfectly chiseled face, tight body, and enticing green eyes had no affect on Santana. Twenty minutes into the gallery opening and Santana was bored. She was also still sleepy.
At seven am she had been rudely wakened by Mercedes who looked like she was going to kill someone if the phone in her hand didn't stop ringing. Not only was Santana completely hung over, but more bad news came in the form of her dad's voice telling her to come to his place to get ready. The dress that was there before she arrived was beautiful. She was made to look outstanding in it by one of the best makeup and hair teams in L.A. They only made her feel like a doll, a lifeless pretty thing to be displayed. Then her 'date' arrived and she completely tuned out after he introduced himself. He was one of 'them' and Santana didn't give a shit about what he thought about her or anyone else in Hollywood the whole room was gossiping about.
And now she was here, practically falling asleep on the man's arm. She stared blankly at the paintings that held no meaning to her or maybe were too intellectual for her comprehension, either way she didn't think any of the paintings were as beautiful as the ones she'd seen Brittany paint.
The thought of Brittany dampened her mood even more. She still hadn't been able to call her. This morning when she realized she still didn't have her phone, she made such a huge scene that Mercedes sent someone over to the club to find it. Meanwhile, Santana kicked herself for not having Brittany's number memorized; any phone she was offered was useless.
A camera flash brought her out of her reverie. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see her father giving her 'the look' to act for the cameras. Santana put on an appropriate smile and leaned into the guy. More flashes and then she spotted a video camera, as it came closer she waved and blew a kiss. She might as well flirt with the audience since she definitely wasn't going to flirt with the dude her dad provided.
When the tour was over, Santana eagerly approached her father.
"So, you got what you wanted. I'm leaving now."
"No, no. The day isn't done. We're still having dinner with our company." He spoke softly. He could probably charm the dresses off every female in the room with that voice. But Santana wasn't having it.
"And then what, a late night performance of some stupid play?" She hissed through her teeth.
"Maybe, that's a good idea." He winked and walked away.
Brittany had to admit that she was a little excited about landing in the city of Angels for the first time. In her mind it was one of those places that you had to see to believe that it existed. Maybe she'd walk down the street and meet Gwyneth Paltrow or somebody famous.
She and her mother took a cab to the hotel near the Academy. Some others were arriving as well. They were greeted by one of the organizers who gave them the schedule and overview of the next two days. Brittany was given the keys and directions to her room.
"We still have an hour before dinner," Her mom said as she made herself busy with unpacking. "We could see some of the city tonight if you wanted."
Brittany considered it for a moment but shook her head. From the window she had a clear view of the city, it was beautiful and confusing. "I think I'll practice a bit and get some sleep." The fatigue had caught up to her.
Dinner was held in the banquet hall. Upon entering, Brittany could see nearly a hundred people filled the hall. Most if not everyone had already arrived. She was glad she hadn't over dressed for dinner. Even though the hall was fancy, it was clear that the dancers were wearing comfortable clothes.
There were no seats or tables assigned and dinner was a buffet so Brittany went towards the food counter. She was pretty hungry, but she didn't feel like eating much due to excitement. She waited in line with everybody else taking the opportunity to check out the dancer's immediately in front of her.
When it came to her turn, she served herself and chose a table that wasn't too occupied. People made her uncomfortable, especially people she didn't know.
Only two girls were sitting at the table Brittany had chosen. "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" she asked. The other two shook their heads and immediately stood up.
"Hi, I'm Jessica."
"I'm Margaret. We just met. What's your name?"
"Brittany," She said surprisingly calm. A few other dancers joined their table and another round of introductions took place.
Something clicked for Brittany. This felt nothing like high-school. These people spoke the same language as she did. Brittany had never met nicer people, in the end everybody was just like her; they had a dream and they were out to fulfill it.
After two hours, Brittany excused herself to settle into her room. She told her mom to come up later so she could use the room to practice for a bit.
The music flowed through her ears as she stretched her limbs. She knew every step, how every movement of her body was meant to feel like. She could do it on autopilot. She went through the four minute dance once, then twice, then again one more time, remembering why she was doing it. This was what she was born to do, it ran in her blood; she could do it forever. After the fifth round, she stopped to get a drink of water and then decided she'd had enough. She thought about tomorrow while she cleaned her body of sweat. The warm water relaxed her muscles; she was in that state of mind. No matter what happened tomorrow, she would have Santana; but she was going to give it her best shot. Santana would want her to.
Brittany sighed; she already missed Santana so much. She stopped trying to figure out where Santana had gone a while ago. She held onto the hope that Santana would be back for her in due time, she just had to be patient. She longed to tell Santana that her mom was accepting them, that they didn't have to hide anymore, and that they had made it to the finish line. It crossed her mind to send Santana a text but none of her previous ones were answered and her calls still reached voicemail.
"I just have to get through tomorrow." She told herself over and over until she fell onto her bed and sleep took over.
At eight o'clock sharp, Brittany stood in a line with the rest of the dancers in CAPA's main auditorium– all 49 of them. One by one, they were given numbers and told when they would be performing. The rules were stated once again. There would be five judges, who would score their performances. There would be no feedback; once the music stopped each contestant was to leave the stage immediately. The performance could not exceed five minutes. After everybody had danced, the judges would decide who would be joining CAPA and winning half a million dollars. There would be an awarding ceremony in which everybody was to be present. Everything would be complete by eight pm.
"Good luck!" the announcer called and then the dancers were off to prepare. The order of the performances was by the name of the states. Brittany's being Ohio, was towards the end of the day. She was glad for that.
All the contestants were welcome to watch the other performances or they could wait backstage for their call. The waiting area was large and the room had mirrors on all sides for the contestants to practice.
"How are you feeling," her mother stood behind her, admiring her every move. She had the same face as a lot of parents today, each hoping their child would exceed the other in ability and star quality.
"I'm a little bit nervous," Brittany answered truthfully. Her eye kept going to the curtain where dancer after dancer entered and exited. The competition was moving fast and clearly they were sticking to the 4 minutes in and out routine very strictly. She knew her time would come sooner rather than later.
"You are going to do great honey!"
"Thanks mom. I do appreciate you being here for me."
Bridget hugged her daughter. "I'm going back to my seat now. I'm so excited to watch you darling." Brittany smiled at her mother's buoyant display.
"Hurry up Mercedes, we're already fucking late and I'm never forgiving you if I miss this." Santana dragged her caravan of friends through the halls in front of the auditorium.
They had gotten special permission to watch on Mercedes excuse that she needed to check out new dancers for her tour, even though most of her songs were slow power ballads. The organizers were eager to cater to Mercedes request. In L.A. it was all about who you knew and who you could say you were connected with.
"I see the door that has to be it." Santana was in such a rush, she didn't see the body she'd collided in until it was too late. "I'm so sorry." She grasped the other person to stable them. She let go immediately once she realized who she'd ran into.
"Mrs. Pierce."
"Santana."
They stared at each other temporarily, both having a million things to say but not knowing how to begin. "Guys, go grab some seats, I'll follow." Santana cursed her stars for having her run into Brittany's mom of all people, and at such an inopportune time.
"You better be fast, I didn't pull strings for you to miss the crucial five minutes you've been harping about," Mercedes said before she and her stringent of followers went through the doors.
"I think we need to talk Santana."
"Yes, Mrs. Pierce." It didn't' seem appropriate to address her as Bridget anymore.
"So, has Brittany performed yet? How has she been?" Santana played with her fingers. She never had that habit; it was in fact Brittany's habit.
"That's what I need to talk to you about."
"Did she injure herself? Is something wrong?" Santana already felt that her absence had a negative toll on Brittany. How could she be so stupid?
"She's fine in that area, she'll be going onstage in fifteen minutes. That's why I'm going to make this quick."
Santana nodded. She was prepared for 'the talk' sometime in the future but not this soon and under very different circumstances.
"I have two things to say. Firstly, I hope you realize what you did was unprofessional. You could be fired and never get another teaching job again. Secondly, I'm having a hard time believing you love my daughter as much as she says you do when at first sight of trouble you leave. You might as well have broken her heart and as a mother that is even more unacceptable then deceiving people about your relationship. Did you know she went looking for you? I thought she ran away from home, and actually she told me she would do that to find you. Don't speak yet. Santana, I've always had a very good perception of you but you are starting to make me doubt that. I need an explanation and a guarantee that if I accept my daughter's relationship with you, that you won't hurt her or leave her when things become inconvenient." Bridget had finished speaking.
It was Santana's turn to buck the tide on Bridget's opinion and hope she would forgive. It was bad enough hearing Brittany searched for her, she should have known her girlfriend would do exactly what she told her not to; but gaining Bridget's trust again would take a lot of self-proof.
"I have so much to account for Mrs. Pierce. I know, I've known since the moment I fell in love with Brittany that we would have so many things to overcome. It's not an excuse but, there was no other way. If we had told, we'd be over before we could become anything. And I want you to know that I fully knew how unprofessional I was acting. That's why I didn't accept the award because I didn't deserve it, as a teacher I violated the strictest code. As for leaving, I would never leave Brittany intentionally. My father used my illicit relationship with Brittany to blackmail me into coming to L.A. with him for the weekend. I should have told her everything, and I regret it now. I really do. I just didn't want her to worry for me." Santana paused for everything to sink in. Bridget had to forgive her right?
"Well regardless, Brittany was worried. She almost gave up her chance today to find you. She loves you so much, I can tell. Seeing her so happy, alive and well these past months, for me, almost justifies you going behind my back and everyone else's."
"Bridget, whatever you think of me, I need you to know that I love Brittany so much. She's my everything. The day you came to me for help I was going to resign. I was going to go waste my life on something I didn't want, that I don't want and I don't believe in right here in L.A. But looking back, the decision to stay was the best decision of my life. And now I'm here, and I have everything because Brittany loves me. I don't know how to convince you how much I love her." Santana was nearing tears.
She had been through this before; trying to prove herself to people who didn't believe in her. Santana started to doubt herself. If she couldn't even get through to her own dad, how could she make a dent in Bridget's now undetermined perception of her?
"Santana, I've had two days to come to terms with all this. I'm going to take a big leap of faith here in both you and Brittany. She said the same thing to me, that you were her everything. We'll let time decide if you are good for each other. But you have to promise me you won't hurt Brittany and whatever happens you don't abandon her. She's had too many people leave her life, and I've seen her at her worst when those people are people she loves dearly. I'm allowing you to hold her heart but you are going to be held responsible for it if anything happens. Is that clear?"
Never in a million years, did Santana think Bridget would give in so easily. She was prepared to fight for years to receive a fraction of acceptance that Bridget had just given her. There was no way she was going to disappoint either her or Brittany.
"Mrs. Pierce,"
"Bridget, please. We've been over this and now that you're dating my daughter anything else sounds weird."
"Okay," Santana laughed through her tears, "Bridget, I promise to take care of Brittany. Come what may, I won't leave her ever."
"Then welcome to the family Santana," Bridget pulled Santana in for a hug. It made Santana cry harder. This was real; she had just overcome one of the biggest hurdles. She felt like the luckiest girl in the world.
"Come on, I think Brittany needs some support from her mother and girlfriend don't you think?" Santana's mouth dropped. Had Bridget just legit address her and Brittany's relationship status?
"Brittany Susan Pierce, representing Ohio!" The announcer's voice leaked through the curtain. Brittany already knew it was her cue. She closed her eyes and blocked out all her thoughts. An image of her and Santana running, hair wild, through a field of sunflowers and dandelions calmed her down. She found it always helped to imagine an unattached scenario whenever she was stressed.
She breathed out one last time as she lifted one hand to part the curtains.
Everything was quiet. Brittany didn't think a room full of people could be utterly still. It was that or she was so out of it she had lost her ability to hear. Had the music come on yet? How could she dance without a beat?
And then it started the steady high-note of a saxophone. And then the steps and the ability to move her body came back to her. For her final show, Brittany had chosen to do a contemporary dance to a Kenny G. and Richard Clayderman instrumental mash-up. When she first heard the song, she could imagine herself as a bird flying over all types of scenery depending on the high's and lows of the notes.
The bright lights made it perfect for Brittany to believe she was a bird with limitless abilities. She was flying near the sun, yes. Her arms expanded and then she turned into a pirouette. She made another dramatic move, a struggle against the oncoming wind. She flipped and did acrobats high off the stage as if she were dancing with the wind, using it to bolster her up into the fluffy clouds. And finally she flittered down to the ground, spent. Her tired wings folded into her like a shield as she tucked her head in. She was a sleeping bird, resting and gathering strength for another day of playing in the skies.
The last note faded out. Brittany stood up, bowed and left the stage satisfied that she had done her best. While she danced, she had noticed some familiar faces in the crowd. They were Santana's friends; she definitely saw Kurt. Could Santana be here? Did she make it to her show?
Brittany raced out of the backstage room into the main hall. Her hand clutched her phone; she quickly dialed Santana's number and pressed it to her ear. Two rings, then three rings passed; but nobody picked up. Not willing to give up yet, she tried one more time. The result was equally heartbreaking.
Defeated, she dropped her arm. It was then that she saw a group of people exiting the auditorium doors. It was Mercedes, Santana's famous singer friend then a bunch of people she didn't know, and then there was Kurt. She held her breath but there was nobody else.
"Brittany!" Mercedes called to her. She put on a brave smile and waved back. She should at least be grateful they came to support her when her girlfriend couldn't.
"Hi Mercedes, hi Kurt." She let them envelop her in a group hug.
"You were fabulous woman. Period."
"Thanks Kurt," Brittany leaned back. She tried to look happy that they were there for her, she really tried but she must have not done a good job.
"I think there's somebody else you want to hear from," Mercedes stepped aside at the same time as Kurt, there behind them was Santana.
"I'm so proud of you," Santana said before Brittany could make a sound. And then they were hugging. It was true Brittany thought, you never really miss someone until they aren't there with you physically or emotionally. "I missed you Britt," Santana voiced her very thoughts; "I miss you so much. And you did great today; you were so beautiful on that stage."
Brittany silenced Santana with a kiss like they had never shared before. It was an 'I hate you for leaving kiss', 'I'm so glad you're with me now kiss', 'I fucking missed you kiss', and a 'fucking never leave me again kiss.'
"Santana, where have you been? Why didn't you answer my calls? How are you here now? Do you know how much I worried…" Brittany looked up to see her mother watching their exchange. Oh shit. "Mom? I think the three of us should talk."
Sensing it was their time to leave, Mercedes and Kurt each gave Brittany a hug and said goodbye.
"I do think the three of us need to have a conversation," Bridget spoke softly, not giving away any hints in her tone of voice. "But it can wait till after this little reunion with your girlfriend." She couldn't hold her smile in any longer.
"Your mom and I had a little talk baby," Santana winked. Words were still lost on her so Brittany leaned down and kissed Santana again because she could now without fear of anybody.
Brittany and Santana lay cuddling on Brittany's bed in the hotel room. They had both taken showers separately and were for now, content to do nothing but be in each other's arms.
"So, that's what happened." Santana shrugged.
"If we turn on the news now will we see it?" Brittany wriggled her eyebrows. Santana never got Brittany's obsession with seeing her in the media.
"You know I'm walking around arm in arm with some guy right? I don't know if I want your mom seeing that so soon after our talk."
"She'll understand, and I just want to see you in a pretty dress."
"Are you sweet talking me Ms. Pierce?"
Just then Bridget entered the room. She saw Brittany and Santana intertwined on the bed; a sight she would no doubt have to get used to. "I thought I told you not to call me that Santana."
"She was talking to me mom," Brittany defended Santana. "Santana's always very polite."
"I wonder how I missed all this flirting," Bridget sighed. Her daughter was really a different person with Santana.
"Britt, stop looking over at the phone. We'll one hundred percent hear it when it rings."
"Then I need a distraction." Santana was hesitant when Brittany leaned in to kiss her. Bridget was right there on the bed next to them, she didn't want to push the boundaries. "Britt," she breathed, betraying the words she was saying, "maybe not that kind of distraction?"
"Why?" Santana cocked her head.
"Oh," Brittany flushed, "yeah, maybe some other time."
Bridget had witnessed the whole scene. "Girls, I think we should have a talk about ground rules."
"Right," Santana sat up straight, thankful for the interruption.
"I don't actually want to restrict anything but I will say that maybe the PDA should go down. Some people are not going to like two girls in a relationship. I'm worried about your safety." Both Brittany and Santana nodded in agreement even though they knew it would be hard to implement.
"And around me," Bridget continued, "feel free to act normal but maybe don't have full-on make-out sessions or, you know…"
"Bridget I promise you we won't be doing that anywhere in public…"
"I know," Bridget cut in. Both of them were having a hard time forming complete sentences, "Just…not when I'm around and if you're noisy…"
"Okay, this is super embarrassing, change topic!" Brittany shouted into her pillow. Santana and Bridget were still clearing their throats and avoiding eye contact when Brittany sprung up from the bed, "I hear the phone; I hope it's not bad news."
Brittany listened for all of ten seconds before hanging up, "They want everyone back in the auditorium."
All the contestants were instructed to stand on stage in front of the judges. It felt ultimately more exciting than the last time she had won. These were the best of the best; even if she didn't win the scholarship it would be okay. She told herself this while the judges were speaking about the competition. Santana's words popped up in her mind, "you came here to win Britt, and I believe you will." If Santana could hear the thoughts in her head, she'd frown on the defeatist attitude.
It was hard for her to believe she'd win when everyone was good enough for the scholarship. She wondered how the judges would even be able to choose.
"I'm going to stop talking now," the senior judge got a chain of nervous laughs from the contestants. "Let's get straight to the results."
Brittany automatically shut her eyes.
She opened them again when everybody was clapping and cheering. Who had won? How did she not hear? Closing her eyes was supposed to help heightened her other senses, namely hearing.
Jessica, one of the dancers she'd befriended threw her arms around Brittany. "You did it! Congratulations!" The other dancers closed in all chanting her name. In the midst of all those strangers and friends, she felt tears coming down her face.
And then Santana was there smiling so big her cheek's could have popped, and her mother…her hands were covering her face in disbelief.
"Baby," Santana didn't have to say anymore. Brittany could see everything she was feeling written on her face and in her eyes. She fell into Santana's embrace, "oh my god, I did it."
Epilogue to follow shortly.