Rick looked over at me, breathing heavily, greasy, curly hair hanging in his eyes. Both of our eyes traveled to Merle, who stood behind Daryl. He looked smug and pretty pleased with himself.
I slumped to the ground, realizing that a numbness had started in my feet and was slowly creeping up my legs.
"Go help Hershel," I said, remembering that he still laid over by the fence. Rick ran off towards him, Merle for some reason, followed him, leaving me alone with Daryl. My anger towards him flared up, but I leaned against the fence, grasping at my sides and trying to wiggle my toes.
"Wassa matter?" he asked, and inched closer to me.
"I'm fine," I said coldly, and tried to hoist myself to my feet, leaning entirely on the tree behind me. I peered around Daryl to see if Hershel was okay.
Daryl scoffed and darted past me, shooting arrow after arrow into the diminishing crowd of corpses.
I sighed with relief as I saw Glenn hoisting Hershel into the gray pickup he had taken out on a run before the attack. I realized I was still in the same place; my feet hadn't regained feeling, and the commotion of everything made me forget that being numb wasn't normal. My senses had numbed, along with my emotions, so what would be unusual about my body doing the same physically?
"C'mon, Barbie, get outta there," Daryl called from the other side of the fence, and I smelled the oncoming walkers before I heard them. I tried to put one foot in front of the other, but nothing happened; it was like my feet had been glued to the ground. As I focused on regaining feeling, there was a terrible jolt of pain in my groin, and I doubled over, seeing two walkers turn towards me, my sudden movement attracting them.
"Shit," I heard Daryl yell as I pulled my non-functional legs along, hiding behind the tree that sheltered me. Daryl was back over the bridge in no time, and he took out the walkers, frowning and moping all the while.
"Thanks," I muttered, as he picked me up, cradling me in his arms. He walked as fast as he could with my fat ass weighing him down, and with Rick's help, he got me through the fence and into the safe zone.
"I'll get her, you watch him!" Rick growled, reaching over and taking me, rather roughly from Daryl's arms. He nodded towards Merle with a smirk, and I could tell it was killing Daryl to keep his mouth shut, but to my surprise he did and let me go without a fuss.
I was carried across the field by Rick, following the others back to the gate into the sealed off cell block. Once inside, Rick sat me on one of the cots, and Hershel came over right away.
"I can't feel my feet," I said as I tried to sit.
"Just lay for a minute," Hershel said to me, motioning for me to stay put on my back, and he departed the cell, leaving me to rely on my hearing to understand what was happening.
"What the hell's he doing here?" Hershel said, angrier than I'd heard him before. I knew he was talking about Merle, and I jumped as I heard a series of scuffles, grunts, and then the clang of a cell door.
"He stays in there," Rick said, presumably to Daryl. There was no argument, not a peep of protest, so I figured Daryl knew where everyone was at.
"We oughta run, and you know I'm right," Merle drawled, and it was Glenn who spoke up this time,
"Rick says we're not running, we're not running," he said with finality.
"That's right, live like rats," Merle said, "Gov with the truck through the fence thing? That was just the tip of the iceberg," he finished.
"We ain't scared of that prick," Daryl chimed in from his place up on the perch, but I heard the tiny change in octave telling me that even Daryl was somewhat afraid of what was to come.
"Y'all should be," Merle said, and I heard a cot squeak.
"I said we should have left, we still can leave!" Hershel said, emotion spiking his usually calm voice.
"We ain't goin' anywhere," Rick growled and got to his feet, I heard his heavy footsteps pacing, the heels of his worn boots scuffing at the cold concrete.
"This is all Merle's fault! He brought all this shit on!" Maggie spoke up, and I heard movement from the perch above us.
"Who cares whose fault it is, what can we do?" Beth, who was previously silent, said as she came down the stairs.
Rick made to leave the cell block, and I jumped as Hershel screamed as loud as he could;
"GET BACK HERE!"
Rick's footfalls slowed and stopped as Hershel went on.
"We know you're slippin', Rick, and we understand why, but now ain't the time. I put my trust in you, with the protection of all the family I have left...I...We all need you," his volume decreased again, and I sighed, tension relieved from my body. Hershel had a way with words, and hopefully this time, it'd change Rick's path for the better.
Rick left without another word; I heard the heavy metal door to the front yard open with a clang, and shut with an even more resounding one.
After a moment's silence, I remembered my own predicament. My left leg was still entirely numb, and I focused on trying to wiggle my toes. As I tried and failed, the crippling pain returned to my entire right side and I gasped in pain. The skin on my upper abdomen began to heat up and throb; it felt like I had a fever, only in that part of my body. I felt the baby kicking me, a sign showing me he or she was still okay. As I reached down to feel the kicks, my head spun, and the small amount of food I had taken in climbed its way back up my throat and exited my mouth with force. As I gasped as heaved for breath, Hershel stumped back over to me, panic rising in his expression.
"Daryl, help me out!" he called out, but it was Glenn who came in and helped Hershel to roll me on my side. Glenn grabbed one of the towels that hung on the end of the bunk and wiped the vomit from my face.
"What's wrong with her?" he asked, wiping sweat from his own brow.
"I had fears before this, but now there's almost no doubt in my mind. Pretty sure she has preeclampsia. There's no way I can test out my theory, but she's got swollen hands and feet, and she's been complaining of pain on the right side, indicating that maybe her liver's gettin' overworked trying to filter out all the protein build up," he said, as he sat on the stool and began bending my knees manually to see if my legs were locked up.
Daryl walked in the room quietly, and didn't ask any questions, so I knew he'd heard what Hershel said.
"What do we do?" Glenn said. He asked my questions for me, it seemed. I wanted to talk, but no words would form.
"I'll look through the meds that Carl found again, and see if we have any low dose blood pressure medicine. Hopefully this can calm her system down a little bit and maybe prolong going into labor," he said as he felt my pulse, pressed on my abdomen, and I jumped, looking at him intensely.
"I'm in labor?" I asked, my heart rate increasing audibly in my own head; there was roaring in my ears.
"Sometimes, a woman can give herself some sort of epidural, a mental numbing if you will, when in a stressful situation. Anything can kick start labor at this point; you're measuring around 38 or 39 weeks. If y'all want to step outside for a moment, I'll do a pelvic exam," and I cringed at the term. Daryl stayed behind, letting the sheet fall into place, covering the door to the cell. He moved over towards me, and I tried not to look at him, because he was a tracker; not just of animals. He could smell the guilt on me, and he saw the regret in my darting eyes. He knew something happened. I didn't protest when he took my shaking and cold hand in his strong and warm one.
What if what happened with Rick caused me to go into labor?
I let my thoughts reduce me to tears as Hershel slid my pants off. After he'd put on a pair of gloves and put his glasses on the end of his nose, he held onto one of my knees and propped the other one up on the cold side railing on the bunk.
"Cold, and maybe some burning," he said, and waited for me to nod. He inserted three gelled fingers into me and I cried out in pain as his fingers brushed my cervix.
"This isn't normal, Hershel, it hurts too much!" I screamed and writhed around. Daryl squeezed my hand and knelt down beside me, putting his face right in front of mine.
"You look at me," he said, and I didn't listen. I squinted, sobs wracking my chest. He put his free hand on my forehead, brushing sweaty curls from my face.
"Look at me," he said again, and his expression softened, blue eyes clearly visible without the almost permanent scowl that usually plastered his face. They weren't icy; not today. They were a rich blue, deep and entrancing. He kissed my forehead as I tried to breathe more evenly. Hershel moved his hand again causing me to jump and cry out in pain. I felt him remove his fingers and sighed at the temporary relief.
"You're already 4 centimeters dilated, Heather. I will try to stop this, do anything I can, but I'm just not sure," and he pulled off the gloves, throwing them in a bucket next to my bed. He got to his feet(or foot, rather..ha, still too soon...) and stumped off through the door, going next door to look through the medical supplies.
My tears came down, full force, and I felt my stomach contract as I gasped for air.
"Calm," Daryl said simply, as he continued brushing my forehead. He leaned in and pressed his dry lips to mine, and my breathing slowed temporarily. That feeling had returned; his smell, voice, everything intoxicated me and took me to a euphoric place. My security blanket was back. I sighed and breathed deeply, pushing my lips to his.
I suddenly remembered what I had done not two hours before now. I pulled away and looked at the wall.
"I'm sorry I left," Daryl said, and it was then that Hershel came back in the cell.
"Daryl, head out the back door to the yard, and go through the split in the fence there. I need you to collect a few of these, he held up the marked page in the book on herbs, "Nettles, for tea. Said to help stop contractions," he said, setting a ziploc bag on the bed next to me. I saw bottles with pills in them, and prayed there was something that could stop this for now. I wasn't ready. "Carol, put some water on to boil, could ya?" he called out the cell to Carol.
"I'll get it," I heard Beth say breathlessly.
Daryl got up and exited the cell as Hershel sat next to me. He leaned in close, helping me to slide my pants back up.
"Whatever you're doin', stop. You're gonna break that boy's heart," and I inhaled sharply, pulling away from Hershel. He didn't let up, and leaned in closer,
"Semen on your cervix caused the contractions to start, and I know Daryl just returned," I gasped again, clapping a hand to my mouth.
"No wonder Rick is going crazy," he said, and I pulled away,
"I didn't force him to do that! We were both caught up, and it just happened!" I hissed trying to remain quiet while my temper rose.
"I ain't arguin', just stop it. Stop all of it. We need Rick, and we need you, this thing you're doin' is toxic to us all," he said and patted my shoulder as he took some of the medicines out of the bag. He went on,
"Along with the nettle tea, we're going to try a few other things. I'm gonna have Daryl fetch one of the wash tubs from the laundry room. We'll use some of the generator's power and get you a warm bath. After a soak, it's complete bed rest and three medications; one for blood pressure, another for the prevention of seizures during and after the birth, and the other is a steroid to ensure the baby's lungs are ready if he or she comes early. Also, lots of water, no excuses. I can prolong labor for a little while, I think, but this baby will make his or her appearance sometime this week," Hershel leaned in and kissed my forehead, " I love you like one of my girls, and I will say to you what I'd say to them on this whole Rick matter; take care of this little one, and take care of yourself. This isn't helping either of you," and he got up, making to leave, and as he did, Daryl came back through the door, sweat on his forehead, matting his hair down, and the scowl back on his face.
"What Rick matter?" he said, gruffly, shoving the plant towards Hershel who took it hastily, jumping as a leaf pricked at his skin. He hobbled from the room to steep the nettles in the hot water Carol or Beth had prepared.
"Nothing, just the whole thing with Lori and Judith. He hasn't been himself lately," I fibbed, coughing lightly and my uterus spasmed, making me arch my back.
"Fuck," I exclaimed, and Daryl itched his ear.
"I'm gonna go get that wash tub. Sit tight," he said and left me alone in the cell again.
I wanted to sit up, but I was too afraid, and my body hurt too much. I cringed as the baby moved again, sending the newly familiar shockwave down my right side. I rolled onto my side again so I could see the door to the cell block.
"I'm gonna go keep watch," Maggie said, "this bastard'll be back, before we know it," she finished and grabbed a gun as she headed for the door.
"I'll come with you," Carl said and he followed her lead, grabbing a gun as well.
Daryl came clanging through the doors about a half hour later, dragging a wash tub full of steamy water. He pulled it into the cell, and Hershel came over, carrying a styrofoam cup of steaming nettle tea (yum..)
"Here," Daryl said, and as I looked sideways at him, narrowing my eyes, he helped me to a sitting position.
Hershel came in with the tea, sat it on the stool and leaned on his crutches.
"I'll stand outside, get her in the tub," he said, and I said,
"Just stay. You've seen more of me than Daryl has, really," I chuckled, grasping at my hard tummy as Daryl pulled me to my feet.
"Stop it," Hershel said, hardly smiling, and he turned to leave, "I'll be out with Bethy,"
Hershel stumped out, and let the sheet fall over the doorway again.
The sun had begun to set and the cells returned to darkness once more, until Daryl pulled out his lighter and lit up a few of the wide, heavily used candles that scattered the block. He came back in after lighting up the rest of the room for the others and leaned in to me, taking my head in his hands. He lifted my shirt up over my head, steadying me all the while with one of his hands. He unclasped my bra and let it fall to the ground. He leaned in even further and breathed deeply, his face nuzzled between my much fuller breasts. His hand traveled down to my belly, stopping on the protruding belly button. With the same hand, he continued south and slid my jeans and panties off, leaving them drop in a heap on the floor. He stopped and backed away, staring at me. I covered up instinctively, even though I didn't want to, not for Daryl.
"You are goddamned gorgeous, Barbie. This whole sacred vessel thing is definitely working for me," he faltered, as did I, thinking about what had happened in Woodbury, but I was able to let it go, and take the compliment.
"Help me," I said, and he obliged, taking my hand and leading me to the edge of the tub. With a swift movement, he lifted me up, cradling me briefly, and he sat me down into the warm water. I shuddered as the warmth from the liquid flowed through my body, bones and flesh being cleansed of all of the dirt, guilt and pain.
Another contraction rocked my body, and I sat up, holding onto the edge of the metal tub. My breaths faltered as the ripping pain returned, causing goosebumps to erupt on my skin.
"Drink," Daryl said, and he hastily handed me the nettle tea. I took a sip, prepared for the worst. What greeted my tongue was something unfamiliar, yet very, very pleasant. I swished the amber liquid in my mouth, and tried to pin a flavor on the taste; earthy, rich, and mildly bitter. Daryl had collected wild mint too, because I could taste it clearly in the after taste of the tea.
"Try," I said to him, and he did, gagging.
"Tastes like horse piss," he spat, and pulled a flask out of his vest pocket. "Nicked it from Merle earlier," he said and took a swig. He sighed contentedly, putting the flask away. With the dim light of the candles, he worked at making up my bed and putting my dirty clothes in the hamper in the corner. He grabbed a towel and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for me to tell him I was ready to get out.
I leaned down and dipped my head in the water, feeling amazing as the now lukewarm liquid penetrated my scalp. I looked at Daryl and he was at my side in a second, leaning down to pick me up. He sat me on a towel on the bed and grabbed another one, beginning to rub it on my skin.
"Here," he said, and handed me one of his old flannel shirts, with the sleeved still in tact, surprisingly. He tossed me a pair of my leggings as well, and helped me into them as I laid flat on the bed.
"Thank you," I said to him. Though I was grateful, half of me felt too guilty to really accept all that he was doing for me. I have to tell him. Or else he already knows. You never really know with Daryl.
Beth started to sing, her voice encompassing the entire block, but still sounding calm and angelic.
"Hold on, hold on,
you gotta hold on,
Take my hand,
I'm standin' right here,
you gotta hold on,"
Daryl picked me up and carried me out to the main group of candles, lit up like a silent camp fire.
"Look," Carl said to me, and pointed. I followed his gaze and saw that he had found a wheelchair for me to sit in.
"You're awesome," I said, and smiled as Daryl carried me over to the wheelchair. He wheeled me back over next to Beth and I smiled as she placed a hand on my knee. Daryl handed me my tea, and sauntered back over to the cell door where Rick and Hershel stood talking. He joined in with them seamlessly, and I was thrilled he was back. Rick held Judith and looked at her with true love for the first time she'd been born. Though the guilt clung to me like the air on a humid day, I was tired of thinking about all of the things I'd done wrong. Maybe that had been what we both needed to move on.
I looked over and saw that Merle had been left out of his 'cage', and he stood in the shadows with his flask, that Daryl had just returned. I caught his eye and he nodded ever so slightly, holding the flask up as if to toast to me. I nodded and smiled lightly.
As Beth sang, I sipped the tea till it was gone, and drifted off to sleep, my head lolling to my shoulder. For the first time in a while, I was at peace, even though there were two wars now raging; the one against the Governor, and the one against the clock.
Hold on, baby. You'll be here soon, just give us some time.