Someone was wiping her face, she could feel it. Ziva swiped her tongue over her lips and realized she had thick lip gloss on. She pressed her lips together and tried to open her heavy eyelids. She took a deep breath and fluttered her eyes. Then she managed it, she managed to open her eyes fully, emerging from the darkness that had enveloped her.
The first face that greeted her was the face of the man she loved more than anything. "Tony?" she managed in a raspy voice.
"Hi, sleepyhead." Tony smiled that silly smile of his. The smile she wasn't sure she'd see again.
Ziva stared at him for a long moment then she reached up to touch his face, afraid he wasn't real, afraid this was just a dream and Tony was still out of her reach.
As she touched his face, Ziva gasped. "Tony?"
"Yup," he took her hand and kissed the palm, "out of all the gin joints in all the world I am here with you."
"Tony, I am so sorry," Ziva cried.
Tony pressed his forehead to hers, "Sssh, it's ok, sweetheart. It's ok."
She moved her head back and forth, she was struggling to remember, "I...I killed Cortez," she said in a gasp. "Yes, I did it."
"Yes, you did," Tony confirmed. "Good and dead."
"They have to give you," Ziva struggled. "They have to give Gibbs the papers-"
"Sweetheart, we have them." Tony nodded and kissed her temple. "They came through and everything is ok. You did it."
Ziva squeezed Tony's hand, "Good." Then she took a sharp intake of air as she remembered. As she remembered she was injured. "Oh, Tony." Tears slipped down her cheek, "I am so sorry. I am...I am hurt. I wish you had not found-"
"Ziva!" Tony pulled back took her head between his hands, urging her to focus on him. "I want you anyway I can have you. There is nothing in here," he took her hand and placed it over his heart, "without you." Tony's expression changed, became hard, "And if you dare...dare think about ending your life. I want you to know without doubt that I will be right behind you."
"Tony, do not say that," Ziva shook her head.
Tony came over her, pressed her hands to his chest, "do you see a lie in my eyes?"
Ziva searched his face for the lie and found nothing but the truth - and it frightened her.
"No," Ziva acknowledged.
"Then that is settled and you will never considered it again, hear me?" Tony stared into her eyes unflinchingly. "Hear me?"
"Tony," Ziva reached up and touched his face again, "I am...I am broken."
Tony let out a sigh and shook his head, "No you are not. Even if you were to never walk again; you are not broken."
Ziva turned her head and looked around the room, "Where are we?"
"Bethesda," Tony replied.
"You brought me here?" Ziva asked confused.
"Yes," Tony smiled. "I found you in that stupid little hospital that would make Jack the ripper look like a brilliant surgeon."
"I don't remember," Ziva started.
"I know," Tony leaned over her, "I didn't want you awake for the trip. We've been keeping you sedated most of this time."
"How long?" Ziva inquired.
"A few days," Tony told her, "had all the tests run. And I am very happy to tell you that Dr. Soto was wrong. You're back is not broken."
"What?" Ziva's eyes opened wide.
"Your lower spinal cord suffered the brunt of your impact," Tony explained, "but nothing broke. Your vertebrae are intact. You can't walk right now because your spinal cord is swollen. It was a good thing that we got you here when we did because your spinal column was accumulating excess fluid that had to be drained. Had it not it might have compressed your spinal cord and caused permanent injury."
"How long before I can get up and walk around?" Ziva started to sit up and Tony held her still.
"Hang on there, Ninja," Tony smiled and shook his head. "This is still a serious injury. I'll let the doctor explain all the details but it is going to be awhile before you are going to be able to run around like normal."
"But I will...run around again?" She asked hopeful.
"Yup," Tony kissed her, "You'll be back to old Ziva before you know it. If," and he empathized if, "you do as the doctor orders. It is still going to be several months, Ziva."
Ziva reached up and kissed Tony, they kissed, cried and whispered, "I missed you, I love you," over and over.
When they parted, Tony gave her some water through a straw and wiped her face and his own. "Everyone is outside. They wanted to give me this time alone with you but they all want to see you. Especially, Gibbs."
"He knows everything?" Ziva's eyes widened as she looked up at Tony.
"Oh yeah," Tony nodded. "And he hasn't been too happy about it all. None of us have really. I think McGee is going to tag you with some electronic gizmo that will shock you if you try to do anything like this again, ever, in the history of history."
"Tony, I did it to protect them," Ziva said. "I did it because I love them."
"I know, baby," Tony said as his voice cracked and he had to take in a breath to continue, "but you took ten months away from us. Don't ever do anything like that again."
"Ok," Ziva smiled.
Tony stood, "I am going to let Gibbs in first. Just get it over with - like a band-aid."
Ziva nodded and watched Tony leave the room. A few moments later Gibbs walked in and Ziva bit her lip. Gibbs came to stand next to her bed.
"If I had told you Gibbs," Ziva started, "you would have done something and it would have ruined the deal with the CIA. I got them to agree to a blanket cover of all the events," Ziva said referring to Hernandez's death, "I was protecting you and Abby and McGee and Director Vance...they even had something on Ducky. I could not; I would not let any of you suffer when I could prevent it. I had to do it this way."
"I know, Ziver," Gibbs took her hand in his. "But it was still my fault. I chose to kill Hernandez."
"He killed your wife and daughter!" Ziva snapped. "He deserved to die. Just like Elan deserved to die."
"But you didn't mean to kill, Elan," Gibbs said. "I hunted Hernandez."
"I might not have meant to kill Elan but I am not sorry he is dead," Ziva stated. "You and I, we understand what needs to be done...and we do it."
Gibbs nodded. "Ziva, thank you." He squeezed her hand tightly, "Now don't do anything like that again. I love you."
"I love you too, Gibbs," Ziva cried. "I love you all so much."
"Well you sure proved it," Gibbs sat on the edge of her bed still holding her hand. "But I have to tell you. Tony, he is not too good without you."
"I missed him so much," Ziva smiled through the tears glistening in her eyes, "I even bought the Spanish version of GSM and would leave it lying around. It made me feel like he was nearby. Don't tell him, ok?" Ziva glanced at Gibbs, "he'll pull out his whole collection and make me read it with him."
Gibbs laughed and promised not to tell him. The team then filed into the room and welcomed her home, kissed her, hugged her and each chastised her with love. Ziva then asked Gibbs in a whisper about Benoit and he told her what had happened. Ziva glanced at Tony and questioned why she ever doubted that he was hers.
The doctor eventually came in and chased everyone out but Tony and explained the details of her injury. He told her that she would be wheelchair bound for at least 4-6 months and that after that her legs would be weak for a few more months and slowly she'd start regaining her strength until she had her full mobility back. Dr. Kenneth told her it would likely be a year or so before that happened. Ziva's first thought was, yeah right. She'd be up and about sooner than that. Tony looked at her with that you better do what the doctor says look and she smiled at her husband.
"Gibbs is already working on a ramp for the step down into the apartment," Tony said just after the doctor left the room.
"Wheelchair for four months?" Ziva said as she shook her head. She adjusted the bed further up feeling ready to work.
"Probably more like six months, Ziva," Tony sat next to her. "I already have Manny, the maintenance guy, installing all the handicap rails and a pull up thingy to make it easier for you to get out of bed when you want."
"Handicap thingy? I never thought I'd need something like that," Ziva frowned. "I'll be better before that, Tony. I am determined."
"Hey," Tony patted her legs, "they need a break, ok? You heard the doc; if you push too hard you could injure yourself further and you don't want that. Just follow the regimen. He said he was setting you up with the best Physical Therapist he knew and I have to say I feel sorry for the guy already."
Ziva laughed, "I'll make sure he pushes me hard enough."
Tony let out an exasperated sigh.
"So," Ziva looked to Tony, "when am I going to be sprung?"
Tony shook his head, "Not today, Ziva DiNozzo. See, I knew it was the right choice to keep you knocked out until we had all the answers."
"I do not feel so bad, Tony," Ziva said.
"You are on pain meds," Tony pointed to a blue machine she was hooked up to besides the IV. "Gives it to you automatically."
Ziva looked at the machine, "I should tell them to stop that. I want to know what I am dealing with."
Tony rolled his eyes, "Absolutely not and don't try to disconnect it, Ziva." Tony moved up next to her and took her in his arms, "I have you home; that's all I wanted."
"I love you, Tony," Ziva nestled into his arms.
Author's note: Yup, more coming. I think Ziva being a not so perfect patient is in order :)
Thank you all for the reviews! Reading them has made this all the more fun to do!
As for her injury: I am basing it off a few real life experiences I read about online. Where the spine was swollen due to a traumatic fall. The spine apparently swells, shrinks then swells again from time to time. Average heal time seemed to be 6-9months but it looks like in some cases it took a year or longer. However, sensation does return to the patient after just a few weeks; in some cases a few days. If I got anything wrong - chalk it up to fiction! hugs!