A/N: It's November. I have a novel to be writing. I am a day and a half behind. THIS is what I do. *sigh*
Warnings: Crack. Pirates.
Pairing(s): ...actually, is this gen? Could be IngusLuneth, could imply IngusPrincessSara. There's probably LunethArc subtext somewhere.
Rating: G
Notes: I promised a set of AUs forever ago, and I got a review the other day complimenting chapter 20. I hadn't even realized I wrote 20 drabbles, so I went back to re-read it, 20 is by far my favorite, and it inspired me. So I wrote gen. That's right: What?
It is hard to be on a ship with only three other people. Ingus had learned this the hard way.
Despite the fact that Luneth was far less experienced than Ingus in the piracy business, he had proclaimed himself captain. Luckily, Luneth's friend was a good navigator, so the constant temptation to throw Luneth overboard was easy to quell, given that Arc would be very sad if something were to happen to Luneth.
The temptation to throw Refia overboard is much more difficult to resist. It is bad enough that she refuses to pull her weight except in emergencies (she makes a great cutpurse, which is nice when they hit land, and kind of obnoxious while they're at sea, which is always), but she makes it worse by trying to spread rumors.
This lasts about ten minutes, because the crew consists of Refia, and the navigator is the next-lowest ranked member, so even if she had any subtlety with her rumor-spreading, Arc would probably just tell Luneth later anyway. Of course, Refia doesn't have any subtlety. At all. In fact, Ingus would almost be willing to wager his entire ship, the Princess Sara that "subtle" isn't even in Refia's vocabulary, except that it probably is because Refia is an evil mastermind.
As things stand, Ingus can hear Refia shouting over the waves that she's positive that the captain is sleeping with his first mate. To which Luneth demands Refia be thrown overboard and Ingus restrains him and politely replies that just because they share a cabin so that Refia can have her own room, as the only lady on the ship, doesn't mean that they engage in any kind of lewd activities.
Refia yells back, That doesn't explain the boat rocking from more than the waves once Luneth thinks Arc's asleep. And those weren't sea ghosts moaning last night.
That's the point where Arc is blushing enough to match the color of a noblewoman's velvet skirts and Ingus just gives up and lets Luneth go. Refia dodges his first three punches and catches his foot, flipping him over in a complicated move that even Ingus cannot replicate, and nearly tosses him overboard.
Ingus sighs and goes into the cabin. These are the easy days.