If Time Permits

Act II

Chapter Thirteen

Passing a small group of women as they leave the bathroom, Lucy pushed through and turned the deadbolt. Leaning back against the door, she closed her eyes and took one deep, shuttering breath. Her eyes burned with the threat of tears and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She gritted her teeth and was determined not to succumb to the tears, to the panic.

Goddamnit Natsu. Why can't you just let me forget you already? Why is it always you?

"I love you. Don't leave me."

She blinked open her eyes and caught sight of her reflection in the mirror. The woman she saw there looked just as torn, as broken as she felt inside. Lucy took another deep breath, her eyes caught with her reflection's own gaze.

I can't keep this up. I have to tell him. He deserves that much from me. He deserves far more.

She watched as her features smoothed out and her eyes hardened with determination.

I have to tell him. I'll tell him tonight.

With a brisk nod at her reflection, she turned and left the safety of the bathroom, her steps sure, her shoulders straight.

As she approached her and Dan's table, she saw that Gray had left and Natsu and Dan were still standing next to their table. They seemed to be having a stilted conversation. Natsu seemed almost dismissive of Dan's presence and Dan seemed to be confused by his attitude.

Pasting a smile on her face, Lucy approached the men.

"Where did Gray run off to?" she asked, causing both men to turn to her with relief. She took her place by Dan's side and smiled at him when he put his arm around her shoulders.

"Juvia called and needed him home or something," Natsu answered, his hands shoved deep in his pockets and his eyes focused on her face. "I wanted to say goodbye since I wasn't sure when your flight was tomorrow."

She looked up at him in surprise and opened her mouth to reply when the shrill ringing of a cell phone cut her off. Apologizing, Dan reached into his pocket and took out his phone. Looking at the display, he cursed softly.

"I'm sorry, honey. It's my director, I have to take this."

Lucy waved him off and watched as he stepped through the gate of the seating area and paced off a few yards away.

"What are you doing, Lucy? Have you told him what happened?" Natsu hissed at her, stepping into her personal space.

Lucy's eyes shot to his face and she scowled at him. "Of course not. I…" she took a deep breath and looked away from his face, her hands fisting at her side. "I'm going to tell him tonight. But that's none of our business, Natsu. My relationship with Dan has nothing to do with you."

He gently grabbed her upper arm, forcing her to meet his gaze. "How can you say that? It has everything to do with me. I love you, Lucy. That kiss meant something."

Lucy could feel her shoulders tense and she jerked out of his grasp. "It was a mistake, Natsu. I never meant to kiss you back. I…I may not love Dan the way he deserves, but that doesn't mean that I want to jump into a relationship with you. I haven't seen you in ten years. How can you even say you really know me. I'm not the same girl I was at eighteen, just like you're not the same." At the sadness on his face, she stepped forward and cupped his cheek, smiling sadly when he leaned into her touch. "I will always care about you, Natsu. But that doesn't mean we know each other. We've…we've grown apart from each other. It's better if we just stay friends."

He shook his head in denial, feeling his stomach clench at the defeat in her tone. "You're just saying this because of him. Once you break up you'll see-"

"Stop it, Natsu," she interrupted, pulling her hand away and taking a step back. "I would be saying this even if I wasn't dating Dan. We're different people. We have different lives. I live in America, it's my home now. No matter what happens tonight or tomorrow, I will be going back. I don't live here anymore. And you do. You just came back. You're starting a life here. It would never work with us. You need to see that."

"Lucy, please-"

"I'm sorry about that," Dan said as he joined them. Natsu blew out a frustrated breath, running a hand through his hair and looking away from Lucy's face, his jaw tense. Lucy blinked and turned a small smile to Dan, trying to smother her heart break. She had never wanted to hurt Natsu. But she knew that if she didn't set him straight now, it would only make everything worse. These two men who loved her, they both deserved far more than she felt she could ever hope to give them.

Dan seemed to notice the oppressive mood that had fallen over them and turned concerned eyes toward his girlfriend. "Is everything okay?"

Lucy nodded quickly. "Yes, we were just saying goodbye since Natsu won't be able to see me off tomorrow."

Understanding dawned on Dan's face and he smiled in sympathy. "Well I'll let you finish your goodbyes. I'll be right over there when you're done. Natsu, it was great to meet you. I wish we could have more time to get to know each other."

Natsu considered not shaking his hand, utterly disgusted by just how nice this man was. If he weren't the man that was keeping Lucy away from him, Natsu could easily see himself liking the guy. And that made the whole situation ten times worse. But when Natsu looked at Lucy's face, he saw her silently pleading for him to just play nice. Forcing a small smile, Natsu nodded at Dan and shook his hand.

"Me too. Good luck in America, man."

Dan smiled and kissed Lucy's cheek before walking a few blocks away, his focus on his phone as he called someone else, giving the old friends their privacy.

Lucy's eyes were wide with tears when they met Natsu's.

"Please, Natsu. Let this go. It can't end well if you push it."

He considered fighting her, fighting for her. But as he looked down at her face, at the way her blond hair stuck to her cheeks from a few tears that had escaped, he hated that he was the reason that look was on her face. He hated that he was the reason she was crying again.

Maybe it is better this way. Maybe our timing just sucks.

Sighing, he reached forward to pull her into his arms, relieved when she simply melting into him. Pressing his cheek against her head, he closed his eyes. "I do love you Lucy. I always will."

She pressed her face against his chest and gripped his shirt in her fists, trying not to feel like this was goodbye forever. Like this wasn't the same goodbye that he had given her the night after graduation ten years ago.

"Can you do me a favor Lucy?"

Pulling away, she gave him a shaky smile. "Of course, Natsu."

His smile was nostalgic and full of heartbreak. "Promise me that you won't forget me okay?"

She stifled a sob as her own words left his lips from all those years ago. She leaned up and pressed her lips against his cheek. "I promise," she breathed against his skin, making him close his eyes and shudder with emotion, fighting his own tears. "I'll never forget you Natsu Dragneel."

With those words heavy between them, Lucy pulled away and smiled at him one last time, before turning and walking towards Dan, who waited with a sad smile and open arms.

Natsu watched her go and couldn't help but feel as if he had missed his chance, as if he had just let the best thing to happen to him go.

I will see you again, Lucy, he vowed as he watched her walk away. I will see you again and then…I'll never let you go.

(AN: Wow, I know all of you must have forgotten about me by now, but I swear that I'm alive. I just got done with my finals and I'm surprisingly off work for a few days, so I thought I would start on this story again. I'm not sure if I like this chapter as much, but this is the second to last chapter. We're almost done guys! Just one more chapter to go! I really am sorry it took me so long to get back to this story but I swear that I will finish it. Ideally this week or next week. Thank you for all of you that reviewed even during the break between chapters. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I adore you all!)

Jane