Author's Note: Went away on a trip again. Wedding this time. Pretty fun. My Uncle just bagged himself a wife and we held the ritual far east from our frozen wasteland of Nomadia all the way in the barren red desert of Hototopia (Arizona; and yes, it was hot). In any case, I'm back now and have some serious reviews to give out to some of my friends. This chapter picks up with our estranged ex-Titans, more specifically, with one of our estranged ex-Titans and her rather…scattered thoughts. Enjoy!
….
You were….too hard on him.
You were distant. Unsure. Impatient….
Just like last time.
He was in a worse state than you had anticipated.
His hood was up.
His eyes were down.
His tone…sad.
You know the look. You should've recognized it.
He was lonely.
And you were too hard on him.
Just like last time.
Well…just goes to show you again girl; you're no good.
With friends.
With companions.
With men.
Just no good at all.
You're too vague.
Too easily insulted.
Too unfamiliar with them.
For the most part, Raven only had to deal with boys.
Simple, clumsy, boys.
Boys like the Boy named Steve back at the air-port, the boys who thought that becoming a man meant nothing more than getting drunk, getting arrested, and getting laid once or twice, though not necessarily in that order.
She'd been used to dealing with them….and oh, how easy they were to deal with.
So clouded by a colorful, hormonal haze of stereotypes and sex that their little internal workings were as predictable and simple as a pocket-watch.
Still though, that didn't mean she liked having to deal with them in the first place.
She hated how she was constantly dodging them, explaining her disinterest in them, explaining Adeline to them, and then having to sit there wincing at their discouraged frowns and forlorn glances as they retreated back to their ring of friends.
Sometimes she heard them call her a Flirt. Sometimes a Tease. Sometimes….something worse.
It was the same everywhere she went.
France….America…even Titan's Tower.
It wasn't fair.
Raven didn't flirt.
She never teased.
To be honest, she'd lost all faith on the whole aspect of love quite some time ago. Lost faith in the promise of sex. In the security of pleasure. In the innocence of boys. All gone. Left behind in the hazardous bout of tragedy and bloodshed when Adeline's father…
…died.
Romance was over-rated.
She had no use for flirting or teasing anymore.
In fact if Raven could offer some advice for all those boys she'd had the displeasure of running into; it'd be to pack up their bags and stick with dirty magazines and girls who didn't give a damn. Quite frankly, no matter what they thought, she wasn't budging an inch for them.
That was her strength.
Her forte.
But men…
Well…
That was already stated earlier.
She was just no good.
And that was where her soft spot was.
A lot of people claim that there's a very important and universal difference between a boy and a man. Personally, Raven couldn't tell just what it was…but she was very good at detecting the men who could.
Another forte.
And she didn't even need telekinesis to use it.
She could just tell.
Adeline's father had been a man.
Slade Wilson had been one as well.
And Victor Stone…
Victor Stone?
Yes.
Victor Stone was a man too.
She was confident in saying that.
Quite confident.
For Victor Stone...becoming a man had been important.
No…more than that.
It had become a downright necessity.
A personal critical need.
And without a father's guidance, a mother's company, and a dysfunctional group of super-powered teenagers acting as his closest replacement for siblings, there was really nobody to tell him otherwise. Nobody to tell him to slow down. Nobody to tell him to ease back.
Nobody to really prove himself too.
With all that freedom…all that need…how could he possibly fail?
And she liked him.
Always had.
Since she first met him.
She admired his determination. Respected his weaknesses. And was teasingly intrigued by his…rarely talked about family.
It was so strange how the two of them had ended up become friends in the first place. Cyborg, a tall, enthusiastic, big-brother with a head full of car-parts and hearty pats on the back and her; a hood wearing, low gazing, anti-social catalyst for the end of the world.
Sure it didn't make sense…but it happened.
The two of them.
Friends.
Good friends.
…
…
…
Just friends.
…
…
…
And perfectly content to leave it as such.
Cyborg and Raven.
Saving the city side by side.
Because that was their job.
…
…
…
Then…of course…it all changed.
Over eleven years ago the very day a young man rode in on the afternoon express and proceeded to paint the town one helluva shade of red.
He was desperate. He was dangerous. And hopelessly in love…with Raven.
While he was in Jump he became renowned as a murderer, a killer, and a heartless one at that….but to Raven, he was the best thing that'd ever happened to her.
He had come offering an escape.
She'd taken it.
And, less than two days later, Cyborg had killed him.
Cyborg had killed him.
To save the city.
Because that was his job.
And, as said before, everything changed.
The Teen Titans became, simply 'The Titans'.
Raven's hood was lowered and the Red Raven was promptly put to a very permanent rest.
And Cyborg…became Victor Stone once more.
It was a subtle change. A very subtle change. In fact, if the two of them weren't such good odd-ball friends…she would've probably of not noticed at all. The other Titans sure didn't.
Victor Stone, she would come to learn, was a very intriguing man, and although very similar to his counter-part Cyborg…there were a few key differences.
Number one being, of course, that Cyborg…despite all his efforts and endeavors…was still just a boy. Frail beneath the metal. Cowardly at the mention of his past. Cringing at the unfamiliar.
He was a Teen Titan. In every aspect of the word, a stereotypical teenage superhero. A personality adopted in leave of its predecessor and quickly shaped and molded into the typecast metropolitan crime-fighter it needed to be.
Whoever Victor Stone once was had been long since been driven back into the newly acquired Cyborg's subconscious. Able to avoid his past by hiding behind the heroic new guise of the tall, muscular Teen Titan. His priorities reset to fighting crime rather than sorting through the blinding hot mess that'd been his life before 16.
In other words…Cyborg was Victor Stone's escape.
Now that she thought about it, there were several instances when Raven had caught a glimpse of Victor Stone during those years in the Tower.
The brief period when he developed the alias 'Stone' had been the first. The second had been the eventual defeat of Brother Blood in Steel City one or two years later. And the last…well…was when she had become the Portal and unleashed Hell upon the world. It was that expression on his face as he watched it all happen.
Those brief moments when Cyborg was a man.
When he was Victor Stone.
And each time these instances occurred, Victor Stone would get stronger. His presence more known. More willing to return. The moment just needed to be right is all.
And when Raven became pregnant, well, apparently Victor decided that that was finally the best time to re-emerge.
And he did.
During the first few years of Adeline's life, Raven had one of the best stand-in fathers she could ever hope for. Victor Stone was strong, patient, and had the gentle caring of a man who'd once lived with a caring, loving family.
Up until Adeline's 5th birthday the two of them had the pleasure of getting to know Victor Stone very well. And to be honest, Raven had liked what she'd seen.
Maturity, level-headiness, loyalty… and…the willingness to sacrifice…everything for what he believed in.
However…there was a catch.
A…big catch.
He was also in love with her.
…
…
Not Cyborg.
Victor.
A man.
Not a boy.
And how did she feel about that?
God.
How should she feel about that?
Nothing she told herself could deny the fact that she was lonely. That her legs always wondered freely under the covers, her hands always resting on an unoccupied pillow when she woke up the following morning.
And that's how it'd been.
A bed with one pillow.
A dinner table with one chair.
And a body that'd fleetingly felt what it was like to be loved only once.
And how fleeting it had been.
Over eleven years ago in fact.
One night.
With someone who was dead now.
But should that night of been enough? Should one moment of ecstasy keep her satisfied for a life time? Sure Raven was never a real thrill-seeker to begin with…but being loved isn't something a person wants, it's something they need.
People need to be loved, love to give love, and love receiving love even more.
Victor Stone loves her. Question is though…does Raven love Victor Stone?
No matter what angle she approached it from, one thing always managed to hook her like a well placed fishhook to the cheek. Something she couldn't get around no matter how hard she tried. Something she could never forget even with all these years that'd drifted by.
Adeline's father.
Her lover.
Her first lover.
His death…his murder…had always been a difficult bump to get over. She'd still cry about it every so often. Sometimes when it was raining she'd lock her bedroom door and lie in bed for hours staring at nothing at all. It was always when it was raining. Rain just made her think of him. That's what she'd tell Adeline whenever she'd catch her crying.
'Mommy…why are you crying?'
'It's just the rain, Adeline. It just makes me a little teary sometimes.'
'Why?'
'Because…it means someone up in heaven misses you.'
'Who misses you mommy?'
'…Nobody…Adeline. Nobody…"
Nobody.
Could Raven love the man who killed her daughter's father?
Raven had promised that she'd gotten over it. That all her judgments and thoughts wouldn't be hazed and distorted by a veil of tears and regret. Adeline's father was killed because he was dangerous.
He had murdered many people. And he would've killed a lot more to succeed with his plans.
No life meant anything to him except hers.
He was so dangerous…
But he loved her. And no matter what…she loved him to.
No matter what.
She's over it now.
Eleven years have passed.
How could his face still stifle her affection for Victor Stone?
Because Victor Stone killed him?
But that wasn't true.
Cyborg killed him.
Cyborg, the short-tempered, passion-driven, teenage superhero that'd been her friend for those five years in Titan's Tower. Cyborg, who killed Adeline's father in a bout of unsuppressed desperate rage. Cyborg, who would sacrifice anything to keep the illusion of being an immortal Teen Titan going, shrouding the fires of his past.
But Cyborg was no longer here. Victor Stone had replaced him once again. Thanks to Adeline. Thanks to her.
Victor Stone….who loved her.
Love. What a pain.
Love was so damn confusing. Able to make a fantastic mess of things and give nothing in return except the fleeting hope that it will still be there tomorrow. That's why Raven gave it up in the first place.
Still……
Do you find Victor Stone attractive?
Sure
Do you find him likable?
Definitely.
Could you have raised Adeline without him?
Definitely not.
Can you get over the fact that he killed Adeline's father?
…yes.
Does he love you?
Yes.
Then why'd you move away?
…….
…….
Raven, why did you move away?
I…don't know…
Raven, are you sure you've gotten over the fact that Victor killed Adeline's father?
Victor Stone didn't kill him. Cyborg did. Out of desperation. Out of fear.
He was Victor Stone when you left. But who is he now?
…
…
…
…
She wasn't sure.
She'd been gone a quite a while.
They haven't seen each other in so long.
His hood was up.
His eyes were down.
And your dream…
You don't know who he is right now.
Was he still Victor Stone? Cyborg? Someone else altogether?
You don't know anymore.
…
….
….
….
…
Just goes to show you again.
You're no good with men.
With men, or with Victor
Just no good.
…but you like him anyway…
There were two quick knocks on the door.
Raven's head jerked back up.
She was back in her guest room.
Her suitcase open…and still unpacked.
She really hadn't moved for the past couple of minutes.
She'd been lost in thought.
Two more knocks.
"Adeline?" She called, rising to her knee and adjusting her collar.
A voice called from the other side of the door. A man's.
"Willy Dunbar, Miss. Got a minute?"
Raven ran a hand through her hair, nodding to herself and glancing over to her watch.
Three and a half-minutes. She mused. Must be setting a record for World's Longest brain fart.
She stepped across the carpet and pulled open the door. The elderly limo-driver stood on the other side, profiled perfectly in the frame like some sort of well-dressed, still standing pendulum. It seemed strange how tall he was. It was the first time she really got a good look at him. For the first time, Raven realized just how old he was. His cheeks were pruned and forested with whiskers that seeped all the way down to his collar while two small marble-like eyes glinted behind his tiny pair of perfectly round spectacles. He looked at least mid seventies, but was as sharp as a razor and about as cold as one too.
What a helluva grandpa he'd make, Raven couldn't help thinking. Giving his grandchildren joyrides down crowded city streets in his big shiny limo while reminiscing about his days in Vietnam and periodically yelling 'Queer, Jack-ass, and Commie' out the open window at the cars they fly by. Lucky kids. It was hard to get grand-fathers like that nowadays.
"Good evening, Mr. Dunbar." She grinned a little breathlessly.
Breathlessly?
Willy Dunbar took a slight step forward, not returning her smile. With a little flourish of white gloved hands he slipped off his cabbie hat and gave her a nod of the head.
"Returned back to you, Miss." He said. "Just came up here to return something to you. You left it in the Limo."
He held out her purse. Almost smiled.
Raven took the purse pertly from his hands and adjusted it under her arm, tried to grin in return.
But didn't.
"Thanks." She said. "Thanks a lot."
She moved to shut the door.
"He's a shy one, isn't he?"
She stopped. Opened to door again.
Willy shrugged and tilted his head towards the stairs, slipping his hat back on. "That boy. Cyborg. Shy. Just sayin'."
Raven cleared her throat. "He's not a boy anymore, Mr. Dunbar. Goodbye now."
She moved to close the door again.
"He likes you, y'know."
Again…she stopped.
"He likes you a lot."
Raven pushed open the door once more, slowly this time.
Willy was staring back at her. Smiling just a little. It made him look entirely different.
How could he know…
No. He couldn't. He's guessing.
"Mr. Dunbar," Raven cleared her throat. "Victor and I were Teen Titans together. We both like each other. We're family. We're friends."
Dunbar shrugged again. "Well, just thought it might mean somethin' a little more. On his part anyways. Just sayin' is all."
Raven nodded, still half-way behind the door. Great. She thought. The limo driver's even picking up on it…
"Well, I appreciate that and thanks again for my purse." Raven said, inching the door shut once again. "I need to be getting back inside."
Dunbar grabbed the door. Held it open.
"Would it be any of my business to ask who the father was?"
Although Raven should have been angry, something panged deep in backwash of her mind. A hallow little prickle of discomfort she'd felt before.
You're over it.
She turned only slightly. "He's dead."
"Oh." Dunbar blinked. "So I take it that fellow downstairs is just a friend?"
Another prickle of discomfort.
"Look, what do you want, Mr. Dunbar?"
Dunbar shrugged and fished something out of his pocket.
"Nothin' really. He told me to give you this is all."
The elderly taxi driver extended his hand and opened it.
"Hope you like horror movies."
Raven glanced down at his offering, then back up. "Movie tickets? Victor told you to give me…movie tickets?"
"Two showings to Wicked Scary III. It's been a pretty successful franchise if you're into that sorta thing."
Raven again eyed the tickets. "We've met."
"The show's set for 7:00 this evening at the old Baxter Theatre in the East District. They have good popcorn."
"Movie tickets." She said again.
Is Victor asking me out on a date? That doesn't sound like him…
"I'm sorry, Mr. Dunbar, but I'm going to have to go talk to him about this." Raven opened the door fully and began to walk by. "Excuse me."
Instantly, Dunbar slid in front of her.
"He's shy though." He repeated quickly. "You can't go off confronting him about it. Must of taken him some guts just to ask me to give them to you. If you want my opinion, Miss, act like you gave him the tickets. That'll probably keep things on the casual side. That's what you young folks are into right? Casual?"
Raven moved to get past him again, and again, the limo driver slid into her path. "Really Miss." He said. "Trust me on this. He's shy."
Raven glanced up. Shy? Victor?
Raven knew for a fact that Victor Stone was not the shy type. Not shy, not bashful, and definitely not afraid of doing things himself. Why would he send Dunbar up here like a pageboy? That sounded more like something he would have done twelve years ago. Something….
…Cyborg would have done….
Raven glanced back up at Dunbar again.
"Where is he right now?"
"Downstairs at the table still brooding from your last exchange there. He's beatin' himself up over something he said by the looks of it."
Raven glanced down at the tickets again.
Movie tickets.
A date.
I really shouldn't…not now…I should take some time. Clear things up. Get my mind straight…give us some time to talk.
"This'll probably give you two a good chance to talk." Dunbar grinned. "I've watched that movie twice now. Love them gutsy flicks. Love 'em."
Raven blinked. Did Dunbar just read her mind?
"How long is it?"
"Bout an hour and a half."
"When does it start?"
"Seven."
"Seven is Adeline's bedtime."
"I'll tuck her in."
"I don't have a ride."
"I'll provide them both ways."
"I don't have anything to where…"
"Go casual."
You really shouldn't…
You're no good with 'em.
Just no good…
"Fine. Tell him I said fine."
Dunbar scratched his nose and shrugged. "Good, good. Maybe that'll get him out of that stooper he's been in."
Raven shook her head, not entirely listening. She was going on a date. A movie date. What was she, fifteen? And to a horror movie no less.
"Just promise to tuck Adeline in. You know how to read a good bed-time story?"
"I'll have you know I used to do Shakespeare, Miss."
"Good. Read Adeline two chapters from whatever book she's reading currently. I don't really remember just which one it is now."
"The Love of Marie Don Lamontte. Read it myself. Kinda mature wouldn't you say?"
"Just read her two chapters, and make sure her light is out when you leave, alright?"
"Scout's honor ma'am."
"Good. I'm going to go back to unpacking now."
Dunbar bowed and readjusted his cabbie hat. "Very well, Miss. Just don't go mentioning this to him. Act like you've been planning this all along now. Promise?"
Raven rolled her eyes and raised her left hand. "Scout's honor. Thanks again for the purse."
Another bow. "Cost me nothing. And talk to Hex if you need anything."
Raven was about to respond but Dunbar shut the door and was gone, his footsteps rattling down the hard-wood stairs.
She turned her back to the door, looking at her ticket.
A date.
She, Raven-mother of one, writer of a soon to be successful book, ex-Teen Titan…was going on a date in several hours.
It took her a moment to recognize the feeling she got right then, but later, when she would later think back about it…she knew exactly what it was.
But not right now.
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
"Excuse me, Victor."
Cyborg's head was on the dining table. He hadn't moved for the past ten minutes either. There was an empty shot-glass tipped over next to him and more than a couple bottles from Beast Boy's wine collection accompanying as well. To be frank, he felt like shit.
"Go away, Dunbar. I need to be alone."
"Raven just spoke to me."
He raised one human eye over his forearms. "What did she say?"
He heard Dunbar's hand on the table, and suddenly, a small piece of paper was dropped in front of his face.
"She told me to give you this."
Cyborg straightened, snatching the small tag off his nose.
"Wicked Scary III?" He asked, astonished. "Raven told you to give me movie tickets?"
The old limo driver simply shrugged. "Yep. Best that you don't bring it up directly though. Act like you gave her the tickets. It helps keep things casual. That's what you folks like, right? Casual?"
Ending Author's Note: Well, that wraps up this chapter good enough, I hope. In any case, if you're reading this and you're on my favorite's list, it means that I'm currently working on a review for your story as well. I apologize for my absence, but I AM a nomad after all…..
Oh well. Until next time! Leave a review!