Identity

Rated: M

Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games

Chapter 18: Help From A Friend

Peeta's POV:

Leaving Katniss was the hardest thing that I have ever done. When I got onto the plane in Pennsylvania and took off, I knew that I would never see her beautiful face again, never hear her angelic voice, and never touch her soft skin. Never again would I feel complete.

It doesn't matter though. I had to return to my old life, and I have.

Delly greeted me at LAX with a hug and kiss. She did not look pregnant to me, but I know that it takes some time for women to show.

"Oh Peeta! I thought for sure that you would abandon me and your unborn child! I'm so happy that you are here!"

Damn, she is a good actress. I almost believe her. "How far along are you?" I hope I catch her in a lie. If she says anything a month or less I know that she is lying, or that the baby isn't mine.

Delly places her hand gingerly over her abdomen. "About six weeks."

I sigh, knowing my next question will only anger her further. "Are you sure it's mine?"

Her pale complexion turns an angry shade of red. "Of course it's yours! I've only ever had sex with you Peeta! We were each other's firsts and onlys…don't you remember?"

I don't remember and she could be lying for all I'll ever know. I point my finger in her face. "You know damn well that I don't remember!"

She swipes my finger away. "It doesn't matter, because it is all true. Now, let's get you home." She hoists her purse over her shoulder and walks towards the parking lot. Home is no longer in Los Angeles to me though. I think it will always be with Katniss.

As the week goes by I am tempted to call or at least text Katniss to see how she is doing. However, she asked me for a clean break. She said that it would be easier this way, but I disagree. I think about her all the time, and faking any kind of feelings for Delly has become a chore.

My dad gives me my job back at the bakery, and I am working in the front at the register when I hear the bell hanging over the door ring.

I look up and see a tall, bronze-haired man come in. He immediately smiles at me and I recognize him. It's Finnick.

I come around to the front and smile at my old friend. "Finnick?"

Finnick's smile grows wider, flashing two dimples on his cheeks. "Peeta? You remember me? Did you get my letter?" Before I have the chance to answer, Finnick pulls me into a hug.

As soon as he releases me, I answer him. "I got your letter and the pictures. The one at your wedding jogged a memory, so yes, I do remember you."

"Good. I really am glad to see you again. Forgive me for being so blunt, but I have to ask…are you still going to go through with the wedding?"

I sigh and run my fingers through my hair. "I…I'm not sure. I need some time to figure things out first. Delly still feels like a stranger to me, even though everyone says that we've known each other forever. She's pregnant though…"

Finnick blinks and shakes his head a bit. "I'm sorry; did you say that Delly is pregnant?"

His shock at my answer concerns me. "Yes, she is six weeks along. I saw the ultrasound."

My friend lets out a puff of air. "No, I don't really doubt that Delly is pregnant. What I doubt is that the baby is yours."

I feel my chest tighten and I struggle to breathe for a second. Now I have had my concerns about whether or not the baby is mine, but hearing a friend of mine voice his own concerns is something else all together. "Why do you think that?"

Finnick sighs. "What do you remember about your relationship with Delly?"

I shake my head. "Nothing really, just what she has told me and my family has told me."

"Well, allow me to tell you my point of view, as your best friend, of your relationship with Delly."

I nod and steer him over to the small table and chairs in the corner of the bakery. "It's slow this afternoon; I'm ready to hear this."

But am I really? Am I really ready to hear about my past with Delly? My heart races in my chest as Finnick sits down and clears his throat.

"You and Delly met as children. Your parents knew each other, so naturally the two of you went on lots of play dates. As you grew older, the platonic feelings that you had towards each other morphed into romantic feelings."

I cut him off. "How old were we when that happened?"

Finnick ponders my question before answering. "It was in high school…maybe when you were about sixteen or so?"

"Okay, keep going."

"The two of you were the golden couple of our high school. You were voted Prom King and Queen and also Best Couple during our senior year. You were head over heels for that girl and your parents and her parents could not have been happier. I think your mother thought of Delly as the daughter that she never had…she still does."

Well, that explains a lot. My mother dotes on Delly. "That's for sure."

"Anyway, the two of you were as happy as could be and even went to UCLA together. That's when things started to go south. You were a business major; destined to take over your parents' bakery, but that isn't what you wanted to do with your life. You wanted to major in art. Your mother wasn't having any of that, she insisted that you stay in business and when you asked Delly to help you convince her to let you switch…"

Finnick stops for a moment and takes a deep breath before continuing. "Delly took your mom's side. You were very angry with both of them, but especially with Delly. You thought that your girlfriend would support you and would want you to pursue your dreams. That is when you finally saw the real Delly, or at least the monster that your mom made her."

I try to take in everything that Finnick has just told me. "So I did love Delly?"

He nods. "Did being the imperative word here."

I'm still confused though, why didn't I just break things off if I wasn't in love with Delly anymore? "Then why did we get engaged? Why didn't I leave her?"

Finnick pats me on the shoulder before he continues. "Your mother forced you to get engaged to her. You were already so far into debt from attending UCLA and she threatened to refuse to pay for your college like she claimed she was going to before…she also threatened to disown you. You no longer would've had a job lined up at the bakery, or a place to live, or anything."

I flinch and can't help but to cringe at his words. Was my mother really so cruel? "What about my dad? Did he agree? And why did my mom insist on me marrying Delly anyway?"

"Your dad is a decent guy, but he is terrified of your mother. All of your family's finances are in her name. She owns the entire business of Mellark's Bakery and is in the works of collaborating with Cartwright Diamonds, Delly's father's business, to make one big company 'for all of your engagement and wedding needs.'" Finnick finishes the last part with air quotes.

My dream from a few weeks ago finally makes sense. My mother wanted Mellark's Bakery to begin making wedding cakes and Cartwright's Diamonds could supply the rings. "So she wanted our engagement and wedding to be a big production to advertise for this new company and make it one big family affair. It was all out of greed."

My friend nods. "Yes. You were given a ring and were basically forced to propose to Delly. The wedding was supposed to be next month…but you disappeared."

I am glad that I am sitting down, because I am floored by this news. White hot rage fills my blood at my mother's greed and pride. I have to mentally count to ten and take deep breaths to quell this feeling. "Well…it was awfully convenient for them for me to lose my memory then, wasn't it?"

Finnick nods. "Yes, but they didn't have any direct responsibility for that. I'm afraid that it was my fault."

"What? How? I was in a car accident in Pennsylvania."

"Yes, but I gave you the idea to run away. When you came to my wedding, distraught over the idea of marrying a woman that you did not love, I contacted an investigator and found out the best way for a person to disappear and make a new life for themselves. That way, you would be free of your student loans, and free to fall in love with any girl that you wanted."

My mind flashes to the memory of talking to Finnick at his wedding and him telling me that he knew a way for me to get out of marrying Delly…this is what the memory meant. "I believe you…it all makes sense."

Finnick shakes his head. "I appreciate that, but I would rather you remember on your own before you make any drastic decisions regarding the rest of your life."

But wait; wasn't this whole conversation started because Finnick didn't believe me to be the father of Delly's baby? We seemed to have skipped over that somehow. "Wait, so are you saying that you don't think that Delly's baby is mine because I didn't love her anymore?"

"Well, that and the fact that she was cheating on you. You caught her and this guy named Thom going at it in her room. I would bet good money that the baby is his."

His words trigger a memory.

I'm still reeling at the fact that I was forced to get engaged to Delly and I needed to talk to her about something important if this wedding was really to occur. I knock on the door to her apartment and when no one answers, I jiggle the handle and find it open.

Inside, I see clothes strewn across the room, Delly's lace bra flung over the back of the couch, her blouse on the floor, but more incriminating is the black trousers leading to the bedroom.

Without thinking of the consequences, I fling open the bedroom door. I see my fiancée naked, in bed with another man.

I shake myself out of the memory. "Are you okay man?"

I nod at Finnick. "Yes, I just remembered seeing Delly and Thom together. It didn't upset me as much as it should have, my lack of caring was the final straw. I made my decision to run that night."

"Yes, and that was the last that I heard of you until your return the other week. You were supposed to contact me when you decided to settle down somewhere. When I didn't hear from you, I assumed the worst. I'm beyond grateful that you are alive and okay, but it brings us back to square one. You are still engaged to Delly."

I shake my head. "That's only half the problem though. I met this girl while I was in Pennsylvania…she helped to save my life and I fell in love with her."

Finnick gives me a sympathetic smile. "Your brother told me about her. He said he never saw two people try to hide their feelings as much as the two of you. Can I suggest something?"

I nod, eager to get any and all help that I can. "Of course."

"There's this psychologist who specializes in hypnosis, more specifically in regaining lost memories. Her name is Dr. Paylor, maybe she can help you."

I consider his advice, but I am a bit skeptical. "I need to get back to work now. I will certainly think about everything you said and I will look into this Dr. Paylor. Thanks for everything." I give Finnick another hug and watch him as he leaves.

As soon as the bakery is closed for the day, I slump to the floor, too emotionally fatigued to do anything more. I have a lot of thinking to do.

I decide to see Dr. Paylor. It was a tough decision, but I eventually decided that I needed answers and if hypnosis was the way to go, then I would do it.

The entire process is not what I expected. Dr. Paylor is a kind, gentle woman and she leads me through various exercises to keep me calm before reaching into the depths of my mind.

Paylor's calm, soothing voice leads me through the hypnosis and something inside of me snaps. Floods of memories return to me.

Throwing a football with my brothers, swimming at the beach with Finnick, kissing Delly, my mother striking me when I threatened not to marry Delly, Delly's indifference towards me when we were alone, hitchhiking my way to Pennsylvania…

When the session is over I have regained a lot of memories. Paylor told me that most of my memories will return over time, but I have to be patient. She said that photos and talking with my friends and family should help me.

The memories that have come back to me only confirm what Finnick told me at the bakery. I haven't been in love with Delly in a long time, and I felt hopeless to change my situation before. Now I can see how my mother manipulated me and made me feel like I had no other choice but to marry Delly. It was no wonder I took such drastic measures to get away from her.

I don't feel so hopeless now…I know what I have to do.

A/N: Okay, so hypnosis to regain memories is usually only used for repressed memories of abuse, so I took some liberties here. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please review!