Chapter 20

Lizzie had been sitting on Will's bed for at least 45 minutes and she was willing to sleep there all night if that's what it took for she and Will to talk. Gigi had tried to convince her to leave and cool off before she spoke to Will but Lizzie had no patience for that, she needed to speak her mind while the thoughts and feelings were still fresh. As Lizzie sat there in Will's room she realized she'd never been in there; she stood from the bed and looked around the room ehh what the heck she thought and decided to explore the room, She immediately went to the huge walk-in closet which was connected to the bathroom, when she walked in she stood there her with for a moment and breathed in the familiar woodsy tones of his cologne she could almost see him standing in front of his stone face and poised stance and his one fidgeting hand that let her know just how uncomfortable he was to be in her presence. Williams closet was just as Lizzie had imagined, completely organized, color coordinated shirts, separate sections for casual shoes and dress shoes, Lizzie chuckled to herself how can someone so young be such an old man she thought. Lizzie walked back into Will's room and looked around she was getting restless and decided she needed a book to read, knowing that Will was also a book reader she knew he'd have a collection somewhere in this room, there was another closet next to his master bed that Lizzie was sure would have books. When she opened the door of the closet she was absolutely right there was book case with tons of books to read and boxes at the bottom filled with what looked like a few old school note books; Lizzie bent down to look through the box and the first book she came across was a little blue book with Williams initials written in gold, Lizzie had a pretty good idea of what this must be and she couldn't stop herself opening the journal. The first page was dated back to their 7th grade year, which made Lizzie giggle as she walked back to bed to read the page.

Dear dumb journal,

Mom says that I have to write in this thing because I don't express my feelings as often as I should and that if I'm not going to talk to someone I should at least write it down. So here goes nothing I guess, my name is William F. Darcy and I just turned thirteen years old yesterday. I had a bowling party and it was terrible.

Lizzie remembered that party it was actually one of the few times she'd had fun while Will was around, wonder what made it horrible? She continued to read to find out.

Why was it terrible you may ask? Because I have a crush on this girl named Julie baker, my best friend Charlie invited her even though I told him not to because I have no idea how to talk to girls.

Lizzie also remembered Julie baker, she was sooo obnoxious, she sat next to Will in class and would constantly ask him to borrow a pencil! And Will would always give one to her with the goofiest grin Lizzie had ever seen! Lizzie couldn't stand the sight of it.

Anyway the night was terrible not because of Julie, but because my mom invited the Bennett sisters, Jane and Lydia are alright but Elizabeth Annabelle Bennett drives me insane! She smeared my own birthday cake in my face right in front of Julie! I hate that girl! I'm pretty sure my cousin Richard told Elizabeth that I like Julie and that's why she made it her mission to embarrass me! I'll never understand why she hates me so much; see we've been arguing since the second grade but I don't even remember what for!? Elizabeth finds something new everyday to be angry with me about. Anyway that's all I have for now I guess I do sorta feel better.

Lizzie knew she had no right getting upset over something that happened years ago, but she remembered that Richard had told her that Will had a crush on Julie Baker, his exact words had been "hey Lizzie, Will totally has the hots for Julie doesn't it make you jealous that she's stealing your man!?" he was taunting her! Lizzie remembered looking in Will's direction as he and Charlie walked over to where Julie was sitting and Will asked if she'd like to join the game. Lizzie couldn't even remember why she'd smeared the cake in his face, she just remembered feeling annoyed at the sight of Will and Julie and how satisfied she'd felt when Julie along with everyone else laughed at his cake covered face. Lizzie continued flipping the pages of the journal, reading only a few lines of some pages one entry read

Dear journal,

I figured out that Elizabeth and I like of the same books….. it kinda made me feel weird.

Lizzie smiled at that, Will had been reading one of Lizzie's favorites a book called 'naughts & crosses' the story of star-crossed teenagers from different sides of town that fell in love. It had been one of the few times that they'd had a somewhat normal debate they had really bonded that day. She continued reading a few more pages.

Dear journal,

Elizabeth and I were sent to the principals office for arguing again, she told the entire class That middle name is Fitzwilliam!

Dear journal,

I hate to admit it….. but I have a huge crush on Elizabeth, but I don't know why or how it even happened! I just know I have to put a stop to it!

Lizzie's heart skipped a beat as she read that line over and over. She couldn't believe that everyone had been right this entire time. And as usual she had no idea what to make of it.

"Elizabeth what are you doing here!?" a harsh voice said to her; Lizzie's head spun in the direction of the voice and she was mortified to find that Will was standing in front her with dripping wet hair in nothing but a towel. Lizzie's cheeks were on fire and she knew Will could see that she'd turned into a tomato. Lizzie realized Will was waiting for an answer but Lizzie had honestly forgotten why she was there in the first place!

So she said the only thing she could think of

"Well, when did you get here!?" she asked in what she hoped sounded like confidence.

"Elizabeth, this is my bedroom" he said more calmly, Lizzie tried to match Williams stone face.

"I uhh, wanted to talk to you" Lizzie said with her head turned away from Will, it wasn't safe to look at him right now he was basically naked and she couldn't very well stare at his bare muscles as the beads of water dried on his skin and she certainly couldn't look him in the eyes because then he'd do that weird stare into your soul thing he does.

" Elizabeth I can't hear what you're saying" Will said still speaking very calmly.

"I said I want to talk to you! But I need you put some clothes on first!" she yelled, now Will turned red as he realized what he looked like in front of her, he quickly backed into the closet and slipped into a t-shirt and sweat pants. Lizzie stood on the opposite side of the bed trying to collect herself, she had been in his bedroom so long she'd totally forgotten why she was there! What did she want to day to him!?

"Why do you have my journal, Elizabeth?" Will asked reappearing in the door way.

"you're asking a lot of questions Darcy" Lizzie said wavy the book in her hand

"And you're not answering them, Elizabeth" Will was stone faced and as usual Lizzie couldn't read him.

"I came here because I want the truth, because everyone seems to know but me" Lizzie said and for the first Lizzie watched an emotion wash over Will's face, panic.

"the truth about what?" he asked trying to remain calm

"about what's in this journal, about Olivia and how you convinced everyone around me to lie to me"

"I never convinced anyone to do to anything!" he defended

"oh really? Then why does Olivia know things that I don't?" Will didn't really need to ask what she meant by that.

"because we're friends Elizabeth, and I trust Liv why does that make you so jealous?"

"I'm not jealous of anything, I'm pissed off at the fact the two of you have bonded over a secret about me! About the fact that you've made the most effort I've ever seen from you in 6 months than you've shown me in a lifetime!" Lizzie yelled, all the anger she felt when she arrived at the house had come rushing back.

" Elizabeth, I don't know what you want me to say here!" Will shot back

"I want you for once I your Darcy-bot life to tell me truth!" Lizzie yelled again as she threw the journal she had been holding on the bed. Will looked from the journal back to Lizzie's face.

"fine you want the truth! Yes, Elizabeth I am in love with you! I've been in love with you before I knew that I had those feelings for you! You've been making me feel uncomfortable and embarrassed my whole life, and no matter what I've done the feelings don't go away. For the past 12 years you've done nothing but remind me of what an idiot I am for feeling the way that I do and that I could never tell you any of this!" Williams heart was beating out of his chest and his ears were ringing he couldn't believe what he'd just said. Lizzie there with her eyes blazing with anger.

"so yet again this all my fault right!? You've been lying to me this entire time but it's my fault!?"

" I never lied to you!"

"so how come you didn't tell me any of this before now!? Why would you tell my best friend!?"

" Elizabeth what would you have said if I had told you this years ago? You would have done exactly what you always have, turn it around and find some reason to be angry at me for it!" Will sat his bed and ran his fingers through his dark curls. Lizzie walked around the bed so that she was facing him again.

" I never wanted you to find out this way….. or at all if I'm being honest" Will said with his hands covering his face

" it's nor fair for you and everyone else to just assume my reaction" Lizzie said a little more calmly

"well now you know the truth… I'm sorry that I have feelings for you, I just want to forget this entire thing" Will said finally meeting her eyes and standing in front of her. Will was standing so close she could smell his shower gel. Lizzie was speechless she didn't know what to say anymore, he was watching her as she tucked her hair behind her ear and she began biting her lip the way she always does when she's nervous. She was looking done and Will heard a sniffle, and without thinking he gently lifted her chin to meet his eyes, her eyes were filled with tears.

"we can't just forget about it…. I cant forget about it" she said as a single year fell from her eye; embarrassed of her tears she tried to look away but Will just grabbed he face again and he continued to look deep into her eyes in that way that always made Lizzie uncomfortable and the tears flowed freely.

"I don't know how I feel about any of this" she confessed, Will took his thumbs and wiped away her tears. And as he gently touched her skin the continued to stare at each other with wonder and confusion between them, and without a single thought Will began to close the space between and Lizzie didn't stop him. Will placed the gentlest kiss on her lips and her entire body reacted, her ears burned, her legs trembled, and her hands tingled as they moved from her side into his messy hair as she pulled him in closer deepening the kiss, Will's hands fell from her faced to wrap around her small waist and as their bodies became one Lizzie took that opportunity to taste his bottom lip more fully. She ran her tongue across it, tasting him, and Lizzie could feel her body buckling as Will moaned at the base of his throat. Lizzie's mind felt as though it had traveled to a distant land and she was watching this scene from someplace else. Will's large hands squeezed her waist and as Lizzie opened her mouth to make a sound she didn't know was possible, Will suddenly began to pull away from her, realizing this Lizzie released his hair. They had each stepped so apart they as well have been on opposite sides of the room again. Lizzie didn't want to look at him, she didn't want him to see the desire she knew was apparent in her eyes. She wished she wasn't breathing like she had just run a marathon, she wished she had something witty to say instead of standing there licking her swollen lips in hesitation and shock. She had just kissed William F. Darcy! The guy she had sworn to hate for as long she lived, Lizzie needed to get out of there fast!

"I should really get going, it's late and I'm sure my family is worried about me" she babbled power walking towards the bedroom door, Will reached out and genteelly grabbed her arm, Lizzie continued to look away from him.

"Let me drive you home, Elizabeth" his gruff voice sent made the arm he was holding tingle.

"No Will I'll walk its fine" she replied as pulled away from him and ran from the room. Lizzie was glad that Gigi hadn't been in the kitchen when she left the house she didn't want to talk about anything yet. Lizzie had come to Darcy estate to get clarity and left feeling more confused than ever before.