Time to try something new. Just for this one chapter, it's Loki's POV. Tell me how you like the style change!

My earliest memories are of Thor. He was smiling down at me, blonde hair short and blue eyes sparkling. I don't recall just what he was talking about, I was too young, but I remember the proud look in his eyes and how animated his face was.

My first prank was against Thor. I made him slip on some fruit peel, a Midgardian banana if I am not mistaken, and I highly doubt that I am. He fell on his rear end, a look of astonishment on his face. His lips were pursed in a little 'o' and his eyes shone with surprise. I cackled, enjoying his surprise more than anything before. When tears shone in his eyes, guilt raced through me and I immediately apologized. I had never wanted to hurt anybody.

My first fight was with Thor. We had been arguing over some trinket we both wanted. I don't remember what item it was, something trivial, I suppose. Either way, it caused Thor to shove me to the ground. Tears immediately filled my eyes. He apologized afterwards, shocked at his own actions. He proceeded to sneak me my favorite tart from the kitchen.

My first day of school was with Thor. I was ecstatic, he less so. I was quickly elevated above him in scholarly rank while he excelerated in physical training. We were two halves to one whole, clearly. It was a sad day when we were seperated in both aspects of life. Still, we managed.

My first kiss was with Thor. Something secret and stolen, a treasure. I had never felt so light, so happy, as I had in that moment. That is not to say that he was the only person I kissed. There were a few others, Amora, who tought me basic magic; her sister Sigyn. The first was because of jealousy; the second was a drunken night that Thor never knew about, wouldn't know if I had anything to say about it. It wasn't when we were together, but it wouldn't stop Thor from going into a fit of jealous rage. After all, I was his first and he was mine. The difference was I was his only.

Our first night was passionate, romantic, and admittedly a little awkward. Neither of us had done any similar feats before, and we obviously weren't going to ask around for advice. The only information we had is what I had read in books, and that was awkward for me to explain. Mostly we went off of instinct. It was one of the most stressful, embarrassing, sensual, and memorable times of my life. The second time that night was better.

My first deep emotional pain was by my brother's hands as well. His abandoning me, multiple times, for Siff. It was after we had made love for the first time. He had told me that he was scared people were going to find out about us, that what we were doing was wrong. It was the first time he had ever expressed doubt for what we were doing, and it pained me more than I ever thought possible. Then I caught him with his tongue down Siff's throat.

I cut off her hair in a moment of pure loathing. That pure, unadulterated loathing never subsided. Especially considering I had to replace her hair anyways.

When I picture the blush on her cheeks, the way her mouth moved with his, the fluttering of her eye lids, I feel sick. Bile rises in my throat much like that first time I saw them, when angry tears clouded my vision and my soul felt burned.

I had ran from that room, silently, before disappearing in the woods where I released the most animalistic sound while my pain exploded in a blast of magical energy that left a crater on the forest floor a good twelve feet deep.

I wouldn't speak to Thor for months. It took him awhile to notice, and much longer to piece together what must have happened. It was in that time that I had had flings with Sigyn and Amora. I found that Amora, although exciting and powerful, was too vindictive for me (this was before I got in touch with my truly merciless side). Besides, she didn't love me; I was just her play thing. Sigyn, on the other hand, was sweet and supportive. She ignored was others said about me and my magic, and she was kind to everyone. Because of this, on the celebration of the day of my birth, I drank heartily and took her to my bed chambers. I could only picture my brother, though, and broke it to her gently that there was someone else. She was disappointed, sad even, but she took it well. She didn't cry in front of me, and never said an ill word about our union. She was a rarity for certain.

Thor didn't seek me out for another two months after the celebration. He was shy, a trait that was never used for my headstrong, rash, proud former flame. He admitted that he was wrong about us not being together, that he had missed me more than words could express. He wasn't articulate about it; Thor never could be articulate, even when it counted. Honestly, it was one of the traits I loved most about him. But I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing this.

"And Siff?" I had asked. His face had shown shock before he had tried to school his expression; it was a failure considering who I was. A liar was easy to spot for the God of Lies.

"What about Siff?"

"Do not treat me as if I am ignorant, stupid, or blind. I am none!"

It was the first time I had ever truly yelled in anger at Thor. He had never seen me lose my temper. Then again, I had never been so bitter.

"Loki...I'm sorry. She's not... she's not you. I thought, maybe I could distract myself. I thought that if I was with someone everyone approved of, it could...make me feel better. Loki, I was wrong. I love you."

The first time Thor said he loved me was then. And I was surprised, I was weakened by sentiment, and so I accepted him back. And be damned if I wasn't happy.

Then all the times when Odin openly prefered Thor to me happened. All the pent up anger and bitterness, all the pain and lack of approval and low self-esteem built up, until eventually I didn't care about them anymore.

That is a lie of course. The god of lies lies to himself as much as he lies to others. Can you blame me though? Truly? I wanted to feel strong, adequate. I fooled myself into believing I didn't need Odin to love me so much.

Then Thor grew wild, blinded by his own pride. The man suffered from hubris. He refused to listen to reason.

And so I let in the Frost Giants.

So quickly, so quickly my life fell to hell on Asgard. My life was a lie, my love was gone, falling for some fucking human wench, I was king, I went to the edge of insanity and dipped my foot into the pool of crazy, killing my biological father and putting Thor in harm's way.

Then I decided to end it all. Just end it. So I let go of the staff.

That time with Thanos, attacking Midgard, my punishment, were so blurry. I was so far gone into that pool of unawareness and uncertainty that I couldn't remember, couldn't THINK.

They dubbed me God of Chaos, of Evil. I don't know how to take that.

But as I stand in front of my mirror on the night before my wedding, inspecting what I have become, a few thigs have become apparent.

1) Thor has always been a part of my life. He is literally a necessity. I go insane without him, and that cannot happen again.

2) We are both necessary to keep Asgard going. I am the brains, the political manipulation, while he is the strength and the public face.

3) The popular comedic ploy of slipping on a banana peel in Midgardian culture is because of me. They can no longer say I added nothing. I caused some of their laughter.

4) I am at my worst, my most vindictive, when I am jealous.

5) If we are discussing healthy choices, Sigyn was probably the person I should have chosen.

6) I love the feel of Thor's arms as they wrap around me now, locking eyes with me in the mirror.

7) We both need hair cuts.

8) There is no way we are making it to the bed.

So there! Any thoughts? Please review. It makes my day so much brighter. And thank you to all who have followed and favorited!

If anyone wants one of Loki's memories in more detail, I might be willing to do some one shots. Just let me know! All my love!