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District 11
"Favorite food," I called, leaning on Cato's chest with my feet up on the coffee table. We were sitting on the couch in the last car of the train after eating dinner. We'd be arriving in 11 soon, and we were distracting each other from thinking about our speeches. I felt like someone had rolled up a ball of lead and placed it in the pit of my stomach.
"Steak," He answered, and I stiffened as all the thoughts I'd tried so hard to hold back started flooding my brain. "Yours?" He asked as if nothing were wrong, but he tightened his arms around my waist, pulling me closer to him. With an effort, I managed to dispel the thoughts and focus on his question.
"Shrimp," He laughed at my response, and I frowned, glancing up at him. "What? Shrimp is good!"
"It's fish," He spoke in disgust, and I hit him in the chest lightly with the back of my hand.
"So? What's wrong with fish?" I demanded, glancing up at him defiantly and causing him to laugh a bit.
"Oh, nothing, nothing," He tried to cover for himself, which made me laugh. "Favorite animal," He named after a moment of comfortable silence. I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking.
"Dolphin," I finally answered, and he nodded thoughtfully.
"Lion," I laughed at his predictable response. "Wha-" He began, but was cut off when the door opened. Cato immediately stiffened and jerked upright, one arm in front of my waist, as if to protect me from an attacker. Katniss stormed into the car, and his hand fisted as if around an imaginary sword. I put a hand on his shoulder gently.
"It's alright, just Katniss," I knew what he was going through. I got them too. Flashes from the arena. Daymares Rose called them. All the Victors got them, and I don't think they ever really went away. Cato relaxed under my touch, and Katniss' eyes widened in surprise as she saw us.
"I'll go talk to Enobaria and Whip about our speeches," Cato stood, shooting me a quick smirk before sauntering out the door. I turned my attention to Katniss, who still hadn't moved.
"What happened?" I asked as Katniss hesitantly came to sit a few feet from me and look out the back window, shaking her head.
"Effie," She didn't need to say anymore. I'd met Effie briefly, and I knew she could be a bit eccentric and unfeeling. She took out the mockinngjay pin and began turning it over in her hands.
"How's Haymitch doing?" I asked, scared of the silence.
"Same old, I guess," She glanced at me with resignation in her eyes. "The bottle, you know," I nodded and sighed. I did know.
"Katniss, you can't make a fuss," I told her, suddenly worried about all four of us.
"What?" She looked at me in surprise.
"This isn't like the Games. You can't shoot an arrow at the Gamemakers or salute the crowd from the arena. You have to do whatever Snow wants. It's the only way we will survive,"
"How did you…." She trailed off as the pieces clicked into place. "He came to see you too," It wasn't a question, but I nodded anyway. "What did he say? Did he threaten you? He told me-" I put up a hand to stop her from talking, glancing at the cameras in the corner of the room.
"They're always watching us," I reminded her, and she glanced around suspiciously for a moment before we fell into a silence and she returned her attention out the window.
"I don't know if I can face them," She confessed suddenly, still gazing out the window at the passing scenery.
"You have to," I stated simply, rising and walking towards the door. I shot Peeta a small smile as I passed him on the way out. I walked through the cars until I found Haymitch sitting with Whip on a couple of armchairs drinking. We entered a tunnel, and I sat down across from them, staring out the window. Suddenly, I saw a a golden glimmer of spray paint on the grey wall of the tunnel, and I jackknifed to my feet.
"Did you see that?" I turned to Haymitch and Whip, who had varying expressions of surprise and knowing and fear. There had been no mistaking what the drawing had been. Wings. A pair of golden wings. A blur of red painted on the wall flashed by. A mockingjay. We exited the tunnel to see fences up on either side and military lining the fences. The train jerked to a stop, and I was almost thrown off my feet, but Whip grabbed my arm to steady me.
"Come on," We joined Enobaria, Effie, Sicca, Cato, Katniss, and Peeta at the exit of the train. Cato slipped an arm around my waist as we stepped off the train to see a military base.
"Well, I never," Effie scoffed in disgust. "This is not very festive," I shifted closer to Cato, uncomfortable around all the guns. We were led onto big, heavyset cars that bounced along the dirt roads. "The mayor will make some introductory remarks," Effie spoke up as we rode down the path, and I tried to avoid looking out the windows at the Peacekeepers that lined the fields.
"And then you will say a few words," Sicca continued happily, oblivious to my nervousness and terror.
"It's customary, of course to give a brief eulogy to the district's fallen tributes," I wrung my hands as she said that, my heart pounding a mile a minute. I couldn't do this. I couldn't face his family. See the lives I'd destroyed by… by killing him.
"For 11, that's Thresh and Rue," Cato took my hand confidently, stopping the wringing. "Here are the speeches," Effie and Sicca proudly held out the speeches for the four of us to take. We just stared at them blankly. Finally, Cato took all four of them, handing Peeta his and Katniss'.
"I can do the talking if you want," I glanced up at Peeta to see his eyes flicking from Katniss to me. Cato's hand tightened around mine, and I managed to relax a fraction.
"Thank you," Katniss replied, while I managed a small, tight smile and a nod.
-HG-
"Ladies and Gentlemen, the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games. Cato Bishop, Celeste Greenwich, Katniss Everdeen, and Peeta Mellark!" The announcer told the crowd joyously. The doors opened, and we walked onto the stage in front of the massive crowd.
"Smile, smile, smile, smile. Stand up straight. You're on camera," Effie and Sicca reminded us from behind as the walked out with us. I gave Katniss' shoulder a small, reassuring squeeze as I saw her gazing at Rue's face on the screen.
"Thank you," Peeta began, glancing down at the cards. My eyes were drawn to Thresh's face, and his family. "We're honored to be here with you today, and to be with the families of your fallen tributes," He stopped reading, glancing to Katniss, Cato, and I before lowering the cards. My heart jumped into my throat, but I didn't say anything. "Though they fought with courage and dignity until the end, both Thresh and Rue were so young," I swallowed hard, squeezing Cato's hand, needing to make sure somehow that he was really there.
"But our lives aren't just measured in years," Peeta continued. "They're measured in the lives of people we touch around us. I can't speak for Cato or Celeste, but for myself, for Katniss, we know that without Rue and without Thresh, we wouldn't be standing here today," Peeta looked at Cato and I, and I glanced up at his clear blue eyes before we both nodded at Peeta. "So in recognition of that, knowing that it in no way can make up for your loss, each of us would like to donate one month of our winnings to the families of the tributes, every year, for the rest of our lives," My eyes widened slightly. The crowd applauded as Peeta thanked them and stepped back. Peeta and Katniss began walking back to the door, and then Cato and I would have an opportunity to make our speech.
"I just wanted to say," I glanced at Katniss, who had come up to the microphone. "I didn't know Thresh. I only spoke to him once. He could've killed me, but instead he showed me mercy. That's a debt I'll never be able to repay. I did know Rue. She wasn't just my ally, she was my friend. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in a Mockingjay song. I see her in my sister, Prim. She was too young, too gentle, and I couldn't save her. I'm sorry," Tears filled my eyes as she spoke, but I blinked them away. From the midst of the crowd, an old man raised three fingers, whistling Rue's tune. No. I shook my head, stepping forward only to be caught around the waist by Cato.
More fingers were raised, and I wanted to scream at them to stop but I had no choice but to just stand and watch as Peacekeepers pushed there way through the crowd. I tried to move forward again as they grabbed the old man, but again Cato's arms stopped me, pulling me back towards the door.
"Stop!" I heard Katniss yelling as she was dragged back by Peacekeepers. "Wait! Wait!" The man was hauled up the steps roughly.
"Come on," Cato snapped, his voice laced with fear and fury. "We've got to get out of here,"
"I can't just leave him!" I snapped back, straining against his arms.
"He's dead," Cato told me unfeelingly. "He's already dead. Come on,"
"No! Let me go! Please leave him alone!" Katniss was still screaming as I numbly allowed Cato to pull me through the door. The man was on his knees in front of the chaotic crowd. A Peacekeeper grabbed his gun, pointing it at the man's head and cocking. The doors slammed shut a split second after the gun fired. Haymitch grabbed a furious Katniss around the waist, preventing her from lunging at the Peacekeeper. Haymitch, Enobaria, and Whip grabbed the four of us and guided us quickly to the stairs.
"Shut up!" Haymitch snapped at Katniss irritably as he opened the doors to the attic and whirled on us. "You four have a very simple task,"
"I had nothing to do with that," Cato denied, looking out the barred windows down at the bedlam. "That wasn't me," He turned a glare on Katniss as my eyes widened slightly at his words. How dare he just pin it all on Katniss. I opened my mouth, but his next words stopped me cold. "He has to realize that," He ran an agitated hand through his hair.
"Who?" Haymitch asked warily.
"I didn't even say anything!" Cato continued, ignoring Hamitch's question. Haymitch grabbed his collar, shaking him.
"Who?!" Cato shoved him harshly off, glaring daggers at him.
"Snow! Who else?" Haymitch's eyes widened as did mine.
"He saw you too?" I asked in shock as Haymitch turned his surprise on me.
"He visited you too?" Haymitch questioned, an undertone of annoyance in his voice.
"And me," Katniss spoke up, tears in her eyes. "I never meant for anyone to get killed. He has to know that. I didn't know,"
"He thinks the districts are going to rebel," I explained shortly.
"He thinks that they don't believe our love story," Katniss added, glancing at Peeta.
"So he wants you to make them believe it?" He turned to Cato. "What did he tell you?"
"He said I had to be cold. He wants me to be the killer from the arena. To show that Celeste didn't change me," He ran another hand through his hair, glancing out the window again where the crowd was getting violently dispersed. "He saw me twice,"
"He wants us to calm things down," I summed up shakily as Haymitch glanced between the three of us.
"You know, someone should have told me that before I went out there, and tried to give these people the money," Peeta snapped furiously.
"I'm sorry," She snapped back defensively. "I didn't know what to do. He threatened to kill my family,"
"Well, I have family, too. Okay? People that I need to protect!" Peeta shouted.
"We all have family!" Cato yelled at her. "What the hell were you doing?" Cato took a threatening step towards Katniss, and I got in between the two of them, placing a restraining hand on Cato's chest.
"What about them?" Haymitch interrupted the argument, pointing out the window to the people of 11. "Who protects them? Katniss, what were you thinking?"
"I was thinking about Rue. Haymitch, please," She was begging now. "Please, just help me get through this trip. Please, just help us get through this,"
"This trip?" I spoke with forced calm. "This trip? Katniss, wake up. This trip doesn't end when we get back to our districts,"
"She's right," Haymitch seconded. "You never get off this train. You four are mentors now. That means that every year they're gonna drag you out, and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year, your private life becomes theirs. From now on, your job is to be a distraction, so people forget what the real problems are,"
"So how do we do that?" Cato asked with a note of determination in his voice.
"You're gonna smile. You're going to read the cards that Effie and Sicca give you, and you're going to live happily ever after. Think you can do that?" Haymitch finished, studying each of us in turn. "Huh?" He prompted when no one answered. I hadn't realized I was crying until Haymitch wiped away a tear with his thumb. "Yeah?" I nodded, drawing a shaky breath. "Come here," He gently pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me. Through the window, I saw the Peacekeepers carrying away the corpse of the old man. "You're gonna be okay. I promise," Somehow, despite everything that was going on around me, I believed him.
-HG-
I woke up to screaming. This wasn't really that much of a surprise, for I was used to waking up to screaming. The scream, of course, had come from my own raw throat. I sat in the too large bed, trembling and crying as the arena came back to me in hot, vivid flashes. Knives, blood, pain, fear, adrenaline, running, Axel's vacant eyes, 3's body going limp, Glimmer's twisted features, Clove's screaming, Rue's dying breath.
I stumbled to the bathroom, clutching the sink tightly and leaning to rest my forehead on the mirror. After a moment, I pulled myself together enough to turn on the water and splash my face with it. When I looked back up to the mirror, I saw Thresh standing behind me with his scythe raised, and a bloodthirsty look in his dark eyes. I screamed again, whipping around to find no one. Turning back to the mirror, I saw no one but a frightened teenager staring back at me.
I splashed more water on my face, and swept my damp hair into a bun, pulling it away from my still sweaty face. I changed into other pajamas, which were silk, blue shorts and a matching silk shirt. I slipped a light, grey robe that reached my knees and opened the door to my room, entering the hallway. I didn't now what to do, so I wandered from car to car for a bit, trying to calm myself down. It wasn't till I opened the door to the last car that I saw him.
Cato was shirtless, his head pressed against his forearm, which was leaning against the wall. In one hand, he held a drink that, from the looks of it, was probably either rum or whiskey and was half gone. He was wearing long, silk, pajama pants that were black and stood out against his lightly tanned skin. His hair was tousled like he'd just woke up, but from the looks of it he'd been here for a while. One glance at the clock told me it was two in the morning. We'd gone to bed three hours ago.
"Cato?" I asked softly, and he turned quickly, taking a hurried step back. My breath caught as I took in his face. He looked exhausted. His eyes were tired and startled, and there were dark circles around them. His face was unusually pale, making his blue eyes and pink lips even more prominent. I approached him slowly, unsure of what to do but knowing I had to do something. I took the drink from his hand, and he let it go without protesting.
"The academy didn't let us have alcohol," He spoke like his mind was far away as I set the glass down on the counter. "They didn't want it to interfere with our training," He sneered in disgust as he said the word 'training'. "All I've ever wanted since I could walk was to win the Games," He shook his head as I just listened. "You should hear them talk about winning the Games in 2. You bring glory and honor to your district. No one ever talks about after. About the nightmares. How old do you think that boy from Three was?"
"Don't," I couldn't watch him anymore, and his eyes fixed on me as I stopped him. "Don't do that to yourself," I reached out and took his hand gently, pulling him with me. "Come on," I led him through the cars until I found his room. His sheets were rumpled and the blanket was kicked almost fully off the bed. "You need sleep," I told him as he sat on the bed.
"I can't," He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands.
"What are they about?" I questioned, sitting next to him.
"You. Sometimes Clove, but mostly you," He gazed off into the distance as if remembering something horrible, and then he turned to study me intensely with his piercing blue eyes. "What if I wasn't fast enough? What if you'd drowned? What if-" I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. I pulled away gently, keeping my hand on the side of his neck, my thumb tracing his jawline.
"I'm right here," I assured him softly. He lowered his lips to mine again, kissing me hard. I pulled away again. "You need to sleep," I reminded him, rising from the bed, but he pulled me back.
"Stay," I hesitated for only a moment, taking in his exhausted appearance. He shifted back, and I shrugged off my robe, laying down next to him. For the first time in ages, I didn't dream.