Disclaimer: I don't own anything GLEE-related.
Author's Note: WHAT! Who's this person? What's this story? Haha HELLO EVERYONE! Once again...I'm SO SORRY that I was gone for so long but here I am with a chapter that I thought I would NEVER get up but here it is! I'm thinking there's about another chapter and the epilogue so we're close people! I've been so exhausted so I'm sorry if this is lame. Thanks SO much to all your support throughout this...I LOVE you guys! I don't know when I'll be able to post again but keep your eye out! For now, ENJOY some FINCHEL FLUFF!
She guides him carefully to the couch, giggling as he kisses the top of her head and hugs her closer. She sits him down, releasing his hand and waist from her grip before straightening out her wild hair from the static cling of his hoodie. She gives him a huge smile a kiss on the forehead as he groans and leans back against the couch. "My face hurts" he sighs, closing his eyes.
She giggles softly. "I know" she murmurs, soothingly. She straddles his hips and winds her arms around his neck, placing gentle kisses on his face. He purrs in pleasure and approval, his hands sliding down her back slowly. She kisses him softly, reminding him not to hurt himself as he responds with a new found hunger and fervor, opening his mouth to hers. She moans quietly as his tongue traces her bottom lip and his finger trails down her spine. She's quickly losing control so she does what she knows her loves, tugging on his hair delicately and sliding her tongue into his mouth. She smirks when he moans longingly, pulling back his head so she can trail her lips down his jaw and throat. She nibbles at his pulse point as he releases a breathy groan and she knows he's completely forgotten about his pain.
She kisses him quickly, climbing off his lap and sending him a sexy grin. "I'll go get your pain killers and ice" she says alluringly and he nods dazed. She saunters away, sashaying her hips teasingly (giving him something to look at) as smiles triumphantly. He doesn't know what an effect he had on her.
She prepares a glass of ice water along with a pack of ice and pain killers, grabbing the Chips Ahoy! bag out of the cupboard and making him a plate. She smiles proudly as she places the pain killers next to the cookies and hauls it all in her arms as she heads back to the living room, smiling fondly when she sees him, head resting on the back of the couch and eyes closed. She sinks down next to him, placing the cookies and packet of ice on the glass coffee table, taking the painkillers gingerly and offering them to him. He beams at her, chugging them down with two swigs of water as she kisses his cheek and grabs the bag of ice, gently and tenderly pressing it to his face. He places his hand on top of hers and kneads it gently, sending her a soft, grateful smile. No words are exchanged but she knows exactly what he's thinking as she kisses his forehead as she gets to her feet.
"Do you want to watch Modern Family?" she inquires, taking the case off the table.
"Of course" he replies with a grin, adjusting himself on the couch as she pops it in the DVD player and settles next to him. She snuggles into his warm, muscular chest and hums in bliss as he holds her close, kissing her hair.
Once they had left the clinic, Finn had been in unbearable pain. He tried to deny and mask it but she knew him too well, telling him that it was okay while running her fingers gently through his hair. He rarely complained with the reassurance, trying to keep up a discussion with Mr. Schue and her but failing due to his headache. He would occasionally kiss her hand and attempt to apologize but she'd shush him, telling him that she didn't want to talk about it while he was in pain and assuring him that she already forgives him and loves him. He'd grimace in guilt despite her promises and mumble an 'okay...but we're going to have to talk about it' after telling her he loves her more and she'd smile, murmuring an affectionate 'I know'.
He laughs at something Eric Stonestreet says and the sound rumbles like thunder through him and she laughs as well, tracing a finger along his chest unconsciously. He strokes her hair idly, his hand sliding down her back, sending shivers down her spine as she snuggles closer, enjoying the simplicity of spending time with him.
She yawns after placing a kiss on his chest, feeling the emotional drain from the whole week and the worry from today weighing down on her eyelids as she cuddles closer to him, closing her eyes and smiling when she thinks of the song her and Kurt sang and how it applies to the situation at hand.
"Forget your troubles
Happy days
C'mon get happy
Are here again
You better chase all your cares away
The skies above are clear again..."
"Baby?" he murmurs warily and nervously, reaching for the remote and pausing it.
"Hmm?" she mumbles, looking up at him, fluttering her eyelashes. She sees the worry and guilt on his face as well as determination as she sits up, reaching out and caressing his face.
"Can we talk now?" he questions hopefully. She gives him a dubious and unsure look, indicating his pain and he places his hand on top of hers that's on his cheek. "I need to do this...I can't relax unless we get this behind us."
She nods and he gives her a winning smile despite his demolished face before pulling her onto his lap again. She giggles as he sighs blissfully, adjusting her so she's not pressing into his bruised side before placing a kiss on her collarbone. Running her fingers through his dark hair, she gives him a timid smile. "Are you sure?" she inquires quietly.
"Positive" he replies with a grin, pressing his lips to her collarbone again. "Are you comfy?"
She nods with a beam before turning serious. "Okay" he says on his exhale. "Before I say anything else, I have to apologize. For so many things. I'm sorry for leading you on. I'm sorry for ignoring you and deserting you so many times. I'm sorry for not listening and making you feel unheard. I'm sorry for humiliating you and making you feel small. I'm sorry for making you feel ugly and unwanted. I'm sorry for being so selfish...and mean...and immature. I'm sorry for breaking your heart every time I had it. I'm sorry for not being good enough.
"I wish I could say that I am good enough for you and that I'm perfect and that I'll never hurt you again but I can't. I'm not good enough for you...never have, never will be. I'm far from perfect. I'm selfish and needy and stupid-"
"No you're not" she insists, stroking his face. "You're not-"
"Yes, I am. I was. I only cared about myself. I thought that I couldn't make mistakes or that they didn't matter. I was so scared of who was watching and if I was popular because Quinn and Puck made me that way. Then I found out they lied and I was so lost. And I used you because I was scared. I was scared of the unknown. You were -are- so good to me and I used you as a punching bag. You're so much better than that. You're perfect. And I'm far from it.
"You're so much to lose, Rachel. If I lost you, I'd die. But even though I know you're way too good for me, I learned from all of this besides the fact that I'm an idiot is that I love you more than it's possible. I love you more than life...more than anything in existence...more than anything in the universe. I can't give you much but I know I can and do love you more than anyone could ever love another person. I'm determined to make you smile, to tell you how amazing you are every day, to tell you how much I love you every second, to cheer you on, to be your rock, to be whatever you want me to be and to be with you until the very end. I won't ever stop loving you."
A sob escapes his lips and he muffles it by kissing her palm. "I'm so, so, so frigging sorry, Rach" he says in a whisper, his voice strained and heartbreaking. "Words can't cover how sorry I am and how much I love you. You're the best thing in my life. I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry I'm not good enough. I'm sorry I hurt you so much. I hate myself. I'm stupid."
"You're not-"
"Slap me, Rach."
"What?" she asks in confusion.
"Slap me and tell me I'm the worst person on the planet and that I'm a stupid douche and tell me how much you hate me for doing this" he says in a shaky voice. "Break up with me and make me hurt and leave the state to be a star. Be the lead in a hit Broadway production and marry a Hollywood stud who can give you everything you've ever wanted. Forget me when I come and see your show and tell you how much I miss you. Get security to drag me away like a crazy person because you don't know who I am. Make me die inside, Rachel because that's what I deserve. I can't live without you. I don't deserve you. I never have and I never will."
She cradles his face and shakes her head in both bewilderment and incredulity. "Never" she breathes honestly. "I'd never do that...I could never forget you or leave you behind. Is that what you were scared of?"
He nods sheepishly. "Yah" he mutters in embarrassment. "You're going places, Rach. I'm not going anywhere. And I've been so bad to you and you have no idea how sorry I am. Sorry doesn't cover it. I wish I'd never done all of it...I screwed it up so bad." His eyes glaze with tears as he gazes up at her, his lip wobbling slightly The sight makes her kiss his bruised eyelid tenderly, just as he did with hers, and caress his beautiful face. "I can't even begin to tell you how lucky and thankful I am to have you in my life. You're everything, Rach...I want to be the 'most likely to get married' couple till graduation. I want to be the one kissing you after we throw our stupid pointy hats in the air at grad. I want to be the one who moves with you to New York because my grades were decent enough for a scholarship at a school in NYC. I want to be the one getting down on one knee and begging my glorious perfect girlfriend to marry me. I want to be the one who stands at the end of the aisle, crying tears of joy as I watch you glide to me in that white dress, a dad on each arm, thanking the Big Man that you're actually mine forever. I want to be the one kissing you when we find out you're pregnant. I want to be the one who squeezes your hand while you give us the gift of our baby. I want to be the one cuddling with you while we watch our Jewish babies grow up. I want to be the one who grows old with you, Rachel Berry. And I will be that guy because I'm forever yours, faithfully and I'm going to work my ass off to make sure you feel happy and safe and loved every second of every day. I love you, Rach...more than anything in existence. And I will forever."
She gives him a watery beam. "Do you really mean that?"
His eyes widen as he stares at her incredulously, his finger tracing her facial features daintily. "How could I not mean it, Rach?" he says softly, disbelief layering his tone.
It seems to dawn on him, something she can't classify, as his lips part and his eyes become overcast with regret, his expression twisting. Her heart breaks because he's too beautiful to look so disgusted with himself as his warm cinnamon eyes lock on hers, his large hand stroking her face tenderly. He shakes his head lightly and she can tell he's contemplating how to phrase his jumbled thoughts because she sees this disoriented look often. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it again because he's so lost.
She smiles slightly, watching as his brow furrows in concentration as his tongue darts out to lick his soft lips and his jaw shifts -his usual expression when he's trying to organize his thoughts. "I-I-I..." He grunts, annoyed that he's stuttering. "I-I...damn it! I'm such an idiot! I don't even know what the hell to say! You're so beautiful and sweet and kind and patient with me and you say all these nice things that make me feel really good about myself and you've always been this nice to me but I screwed up so many freaking times because I couldn't believe how much I liked you and I felt guilty 'cause I was still dating Quinn but I wanted to be with you so badly. Then I kept breaking your heart because I'm stupid and self-centered and then I got all 'me-man-you-woman' cave man on you 'cause you were trying to move on but I wouldn't let you 'cause I'm selfish. But you're still so awesome to me and I can't return it 'cause I'm a jackass and now you're scared that I'm gonna hurt you again and you have every right to be 'cause of what a douche I've been but I hate myself that I made you scared...why am I so stupid? How can you love me? I'll never understand that...never ever. You're way too good for me, Rach and I don't know why you can't see that. Anybody else would just dump my sorry ass...I don't get it 'cause I'm too stupid to get it!"
She can't help it, she laughs. His look of bewilderment only encourages her peals of laughter because she finds his opinion on himself ludicrous. He frowns and asks quietly, like a child: "See?"
She stops immediately when she sees the hurt on his angelic face and reaches her hand out to touch his cheek. She's memorized the constellation of freckles and moles on his face and back. She can recall several occasions over the summer of just spending a lazy, hot day connecting the dots on his face or back and tracing her finger along his bare spine, smiling when he'd moan softly. Once she found a scar on his rib cage. She had run her finger against it gently, asking where he got it to which he had replied: "Puck shoved me off the jungle gym in third grade. I got cut all along my side and that one just stayed for some reason." She then proceeded to kiss it and grin when he released a breathy groan of approval.
She taps her finger against the mole on his left cheek bone and smiles brightly at him, watching as his insecurities seem to wash away from her small gestures. She continues not only for his sake but also because she loves touching his face (well she loves touching him in general), gliding her thumb along the freckles on the bridge of his nose, careful not to hurt him, down across his full pink lips to the freckle on his chin then to one on his throat. She retraces her path with her lips, enjoying the tiny noises of content he makes as she does so as her lips ghost across his bruises.
The bruises he took for her.
She runs her hand through his thick, dark hair that she adores, grazing his scalp gently with her finger tips. The other hand slithers down his chest, finger nail outlining his pecks and abs and she's dying to pull his shirt over his head and toss it to the floor but she doesn't, enjoying the moment of intimacy. He sighs blissfully as she peppers his face with kisses, her hand skimming his belt while the other continues to play with his hair.
"You're not stupid" she murmurs between kisses. "Do you think Rachel Berry would be with a jackass or a ding-bat?" He chuckles lightly, shaking his head. "Never in a million years." She kisses his temple. "You made mistakes...so what? I've made them, too and you never gave up on me." Her lips caress his cheek before pecking his lips. "It hurt, Finn...I'm not going to lie. But do you know what would hurt more? Losing you…" She kisses his jaw. "Not spending the rest of high school in bliss with you. Not throwing those caps up and kissing the life out of you at grad. Not jumping in your arms while screaming 'yes!' after you propose. Not walking down the aisle to my gorgeous future husband, thanking God I have you. Not telling you I'm pregnant with our first baby...then our second...then our third..." Her lips slide down his throat. "Maybe a fourth..." She nibbles his pulse point, smiling when his Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, releasing a low groan. "Not growing old with you. Not spending every second of everyday with the man I love more than anything in the universe...I couldn't do it. And I won't do it. You're stuck with me, Finn because I can't live without you and I never, ever will."
She kisses his lips again, firmer and with more fervor. Her stomach flips because she's missed this so much and she can tell he has, too. She hums against his lips, smiling against them when she feels his tongue brush her bottom lip and his moan when their tongues make contact. Sparks fly and electricity crackles as it always does as she presses herself closer to him. "I love you more than anything and nothing will ever, ever change that. You're everything, Finn."
She molds her lips against his as his arms wrap tighter around her waist, kissing her with everything he has. He murmurs apologies and his love for her continuously against her lips, cheek, jaw, neck and throat as they make up for all of the lost time and hurt over the past week. "I love you way, way, way more, baby...you have no idea. You're my world...my heart...my soul..." he whispers, hugging her close to him. She feels his tears slowly soaking her hospital gown as she grips him tightly, burying her face in his neck. "I love you." His voice is strained but true as he snuggles her protectively, making her feel so cherished.
"I love you" she says with all honesty and authenticity. "And I forgave you before you apologized. You'll always have my love and forgiveness, Finn. Always...before you even need it."
"I'm so sorry, gorgeous" he whispers tenderly. "Thank you...thank you. You're my life, Rach. Never, ever forget that. Slap me if I ever get stupid again. I love you."
She giggles, holding him as close as possible. "Just so you know...you're never leaving again. You're stuck with me."
"I wouldn't want it any other way" he coos and she smashes her lips against his, tasting his delicious mouth, forgetting his injuries, forgetting her name and melting into the incredible Finn Hudson who is perfectly imperfect in every way.
"Well, here we are again;
I guess it must be fate.
We've tried it on our own,
But deep inside we've known
We'd be back to set things straight.
I still remember when
Your kiss was so brand new.
Every memory repeats,
Every step I take retreats,
Every journey always brings me back to you.
After All the stops and starts,
We keep coming back to these two hearts,
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall.
After All that we've been through,
It all comes down to me and you.
I guess it's meant to be,
Forever you and me, After All..."
AN#2: Awwwwww Finchel = FTW! LONG CHAPTER TOO! Song credit was "After All" by Peter Cetera...beautiful song w/ Cher :)
Next Chapter (penultimate *second last* one!): New Directions has some apologizing to do ;)
THANKS FOR READING AND PLEASE REVIEW! I'll try to post ASAP! LOVE TO ALL!