I didn't hear from FP until he showed up at my place a few days later. It was weird to see him knocking on my door. I don't think he's been in my trailer since Mustang died and that wasn't a very good memory.
"Can I come in?" He looks… sheepish, almost. I should say no. I'm still pissed at him. Say no. Say no!
"Yeah. Of course." I take a step to the side and FP walks in. He glances around the living room. I almost feel bad, it's pretty messy in here to be honest. The only guest I ever have is Sweet Pea and it's not like I have to clean up for him. FP goes to the kitchen and takes a seat at the table and I stay near the doorway. "You, uh, want anything to drink, Jones?"
"No, I'm fine." He rubs his jaw once before motioning to the seat across from him. "Can you sit please."
"Why are you here?" I ask. I sit down, but not because he told me to.
"To apologize."
"Oh."
"Yeah, oh." He chuckles softly. "You know, when your mom was pregnant I made a promise to your dad to look after you if anything happened."
"That's pretty cheesy… I'll bet he did the same for Jug and Jellybean?" FP nods.
"Yeah. But uh… I've done a pretty shitty job, haven't?"
"Of looking after me?" FP nods again and rubs his jaw. "You haven't done a shitty job, FP. I've been told that I have some authority issues."
"That's an understatement." FP agrees with a snort. He goes back to his serious expression. "But it's not like I've made it easy for you. To take me seriously, I mean. But I have a plan. That's part of why I came here."
"What kind of plan?"
"I'm following Jughead's lead and trying to have a meeting with Hiram Lodge. And i think you should come."
"Gross. Why would I want to be within twenty feet of Hiram Lodge?"
"Jughead thinks we can settle this whole thing without a turf war and well, if we can I think we should try. And you're coming because… well, mostly because I need you to trust me again. But also because I need your help keeping Jughead in line."
"And I'm a good influence?"
"You're a… resourceful influence. Look, Crash, I'm not taking what you said lightly. I'm trying to fix this and you deserve to be there when I do." He gives me such a sincere look that it's impossible to say no.
"Fine. When's the meeting?"
"Thirty minutes."
"Jesus Christ, FP." He smirks again. "Fine, let's go."
I stand up and push my chair in, grabbing my Serpent jacket from it's spot by the door. FP pauses and gives me a critical look.
"That's what you're wearing to a business meeting?"
"Oh, says the guy who lives in dirty flannels and a crusty old jacket?" He mocks offense. The two of us leave my trailer and walk to his. It's kind of nice to walk with him. It reminds me of when he first got sober and went on a big hiking and fresh air kick. Except we never went hiking, we just walked around the Southside. But still!
Jughead is waiting for us at his trailer. Well, he's waiting for his dad. He looks a little surprised to see me but he rolls with it. He obviously cleaned up a bit while waiting. The trailer looks really nice. It's weird.
"Veronica just texted me. They're almost here." Jughead says. He starts pacing back and forth across the living room while I sit on the couch and watch. "Are you staying for the meeting, Crash?"
"Yup."
"Okay. Here's the plan-"
"Unless this plan involves you distracting Hiram while I pick his pockets, I'm not interested." Jughead gives me an exasperated look and turns to his dad. FP just shakes his head.
"We need a plan!"
"It'll be fine, Juggie." I say his name with a teasing tone and he rolls his eyes. A few seconds later he's back to pacing. His phone dings again and a car door slams outside.
"They're here." Jughead sits next to me on the couch and slaps his thighs. He seriously needs to chill. FP opens the door and lets Hiram and Veronica in. I'm surprised they didn't show up with bodyguards. Veronica takes the mediator role and introduces everyone while FP grabs Hiram a beer.
"Daddy, you know FP Jones and Jughead. This is… Crash." I shake his hand and successfully hold back a weak handshake comment.
"Yes, Ms. Collins. I've heard of you." Hiram greets.
"Okay." I sit back on the couch. Veronica sits at the end of the coffee table and Hiram sits across from us.
"Thank you for agreeing to sit down and discuss this misunderstanding." Hiram starts.
"There's no mis-" Jughead and FP speak at the same time but FP takes the lead.
"There's no misunderstanding here. Tall Boy said you paid him to decapitate the Pickens statue."
"As an excuse to turn up the heat on the Serpents." Jughead adds.
"You've got a lot of nervous people scared they're gonna lose their homes." FP tells Hiram.
"I heard about that. And though it has nothing whatsoever to do with me, I've spoken to Mayor McCoy. And as a gesture of goodwill to the Southside community, I'd like to settle any back rent you or your neighbors owe to the town."
"And what do you want in return?" Jughead asks skeptically.
"Peace in the land." What a fucking weirdo. Veronica looks at us expectantly.
"It's a deal." FP agrees. Everyone stands and FP and Hiram shake hands.
"There is one thing." Hiram adds. "Mayor McCoy tells me you have some kind of expose you're working on, Jughead. So in exchange for my generous offer, I'd appreciate if you kept my name out of it. Sound fair?" Of course. And since Jughead is Jughead:
"That sounds like a bribe. No deal."
"See you in the funny pages." FP says, wrapping an arm around Jughead. There was really no point in me being here. I mean I appreciate the gesture but come on, FP. Whatever. At least now I know for sure what Hiram Lodge looks like.
"Let me walk you out." I offer. Veronica smiles at me gratefully and Hiram accepts. Rich people manners are so weird. I lead them out of the trailer and to their car, where there driver opens the door for them. Hiram lets Veronica in first and stops to talk to me.
"I've heard a lot about you, Ms. Collins. I've gotta say, you're not exactly what I pictured."
"Well, Mr. Lodge, Tall Boy's not a great source." Hiram gives me a tight lipped fake smile.
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, well. He's never been good at judging heights. I'll see you at school, Veronica." She waves at me from inside the car and I go back into the Jones trailer. Okay, so that line was really weird and not nearly as suave as I wanted it to be but whatever. I panicked. Sue me. Jughead and FP are waiting for me when I get back inside.
"Let me walk you out, Mr. Lodge." Jughead mocks. I flick him in the forehead and sit in Veronica's chair.
"What'd you think of the meeting, Crash?" FP asks, relaxing into the couch.
"I think you should have taken the deal, but I'm not surprised that you didn't." I answer. Jughead looks offended.
"You think I should let Hiram censor my writing?"
"One newspaper article versus homelessness. Hm, let my think about that." Jughead glares at me and I smile at him.
"What did you and Hiram talk about outside?" FP asks. I roll my eyes at him and he holds his hands up in surrender. "Not accusing, just asking."
"Apparently, Tall Boy was quite the gossip. He told me not to underestimate Hiram before you exiled him. I just wanted to see what Hiram would say when you weren't around."
"Anything interesting?"
"Well, either Tall Boy thinks I'm super short or I don't understand metaphors."
"Probably both." FP jokes. Jughead snorts and I glare at both of them.
"Whatever. If we're done here, I have petty crimes to commit."
"Don't get caught." FP cautions as I walk out the door.
I don't actually have crimes to commit. I don't have any plans, really. Sweet Pea and Fangs are doing some pool play-off that I don't want to watch. Toni is on a solo-photography hike for a few hours. Maybe I should hang out with some other Serpents. Like Emerald. Except I don't want to get high. Maybe I'll just take a nap. Or I could clean my trailer…
I'm on my hands and knees scrubbing every speck of dirt from my bathroom floor when Jughead calls me. I honestly don't think I've cleaned since I got home from juvie. And it's not like it was super clean beforehand, given all the murders that were happening at the time. Safe to say, my house was a pigsty. I rip off my rubber glove and hold my phone between my ear and my shoulder.
"What d'ya want, Crate Face?"
"Crash, I need your help."
"What's up?"
"I uh- I have a problem."
"Shit. You're pregnant, aren't you?"
"I'm serious. Look, can you just meet me somewhere. Somewhere safe?"
"Fox forest, mile marker 104." Jughead sighs in relief and hangs up. I guess my place is clean enough for now. I wonder if I should bring my gloves. No. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's fine.
I get a ride to the edge of Fox Forest from my neighbor. She has to go to work so she just drops me off on the side of the highway. Honestly, I wish I could say this is the first time that's happened. When I get to the small service road, Jughead and Betty Cooper are waiting for me.
"Crash, thank god." Jughead comes rushing at me. "You told me 'next time, call', so I called."
"Wait… wait… did you murder Penny Peabody? Jesus Christ, Jughead, give a girl some warning."
"No. Not Penny. It was… I don't know who it was actually."
"Some guy my brother brought home. He attacked my mom and-" Betty chokes up and tears fill her eyes. I grab her shoulders gently and try to calm her down.
"Betty, it's gonna be fine. Okay? Just breathe. Now tell me, where is the body?"
"In a storm drain on the Southside."
"It's the car. It's his and we need to get rid of it." Jughead explains, gesturing to the beat up car behind them.
"Oh, that's easy. I knew I should have brought my gloves. You drove it here?" Jughead nods. "Okay, we need to make sure you didn't leave any DNA. Then we'll dump it. Find a rag, Jug. Betty, you just… stand over there for a minute until you calm down, kay?"
Betty nods too, trying to wipe the tears from her eyes so she can help. Not that I blame her, your first murder is rough. Jughead finds an old towel and I rip it in half, handing a piece to him.
"Wipe it down, steering wheel, door handles, everything. Make sure Betty didn't leave any stray blonde hairs anywhere. I'm not having a repeat of last time. We're doing this the right way." Once I'm sure the car is clean of any stray fingerprints or DNA, I shift it into neutral. "There's a lake right around that curve."
"We're leaving the car in the lake? Isn't that a little… classic?"
"Oh, I'm sorry, Jughead. I didn't realize you wanted to get so creative with your first accessory to murder charge." I retort.
"She's right, Juggie. A classic is a classic for a reason. Help us push, okay?" Betty convinces him pretty easily.
"Betty should steer. Use the towels to cover your hands. If you leave a stand of hair, your DNA won't be on file. Mine and Jughead's will." Betty nods, grabbing the towels out of my hands. She steers while Jughead and I push the car towards the lake. When we get to the edge, Betty shuts the doors but rolls down the windows.
"So it sinks better." She explains. I knew she watched a bunch of cop shows.
"Wipe our hand prints off the back, Jughead." He does, and we push the car the rest of the way in.
"Norman Bates made it look so easy." He jokes. The three of us watch the car sink for a few seconds. Thank god it's not muddy. I'm sure covering our footprints would have been a bitch.
"Do you have anything of his, Betty?"
"His phone, Betty. His phone." Jughead reminds her. Betty takes the phone out and tosses it into the lake too.
"Well," I wipe my hands on my jeans before stuffing them into my jacket pockets. "We should call an Uber. There's a rest stop down the road, so we look less suspicious."
I start walking out of the forest, Jughead and Betty trailing behind me. It only takes us twenty minutes to get to the rest stop and Betty uses her phone to call a car.
"Thank you, Crash."
"Yeah, no problem, Betty. But uh, for the record, Jughead, when I said you could call me, I was specifically talking about Penny Peabody. So, you totally owe me."
"Deal." Jughead agrees instantly. As he should. Next time, they'll probably send me to adult jail.
I make the mistake of thinking Jughead and Betty won't screw anything up. Until two days later I get a phone call while I'm hanging out with Sweets. And then I get another phone call when I don't answer the first one.
"What do you want, Crate Face? I'm making out with my boyfriend."
"You need to get over here now. It's an emergency."
"Is it more important than a six foot five dreamboat?" Sweet Pea shakes his head no.
"Yes. Significantly more important. Jail time important." God damn it, Jughead. I sigh and Sweet Pea rolls his eyes, knowing that I'm caving.
"Fine. Where are you?"
"My dads trailer. Please hurry." I hang up and Sweet Pea gives me an annoyed look.
"You're ditching me for Jughead Jones, aren't you?" I give him a guilty look and he rolls his eyes again.
"I'm sorry! You know I wouldn't if it wasn't important."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." He says it good-naturedly but I can tell that he's a little hurt.
"I'll be back in a few hours. Wait for me?"
"Yeah. I've gotten into the habit of sleeping next to you so…"
"That's adorable."
"So, I'll need to get a second girlfriend."
"As long as she's not as hot as me, I'm cool with it."
"So Fangs is out of the question?" He jokes. I roll my eyes and peck him on the lips.
"I'll see you soon."
I tried to play it cool in front of Sweets but honestly, I'm freaking out a little bit. God, if Jughead's already screwed up this whole thing and I have to go to jail again, I'm gonna kick his ass. Why did I even answer the phone? I'm totally screwed. And I'm definitely blocking Jughead's phone calls from now on too.
I don't bother knocking when I get to the trailer, assuming that Jughead would have warned me that his girlfriend, her mom, and his dad were all there too. I was wrong, of course. And judging by the furious look on FP's face when I walked in the door, I was in deep shit too.
"Jughead Jones, you have got to be the worst criminal in the state of New York."
"Carrie, what the hell are you doing here?" FP asks. He doesn't rub at his jaw but his eye twitches a little.
"I called her." Jughead admits. FP and Alice Cooper give Jughead crazy looks. Betty just sighs and holds her face in her hands.
"Go home, Crash." FP demands.
"No." FP grunts. He shoots up from his chair and grabs my arm, dragging me into the hallway even though there's barely any privacy in his trailer anyway.
"Go. Home." He says lowly.
"No! You said you would stop lying to me and leaving me out of things."
"I never said that."
"You implied it! And if you expect me to trust you again, this is the first step."
"I am not putting you in the middle of this shit again, do you understand me, kid?"
"I'm already in the middle of it and I'm not leaving until it's finished. Besides, the one you have to worry about was exiled to San Junipero anyway." That was low and I know it, but it works. FP glares at me and clenches his jaw but he's not going to keep pushing it after I bring up Joaquin. That's all on him.
He lets go of my arm just as quickly as he grabbed it. It takes him a few seconds longer to stop glaring at me and storm back into the living room.
"Jughead, takes the girls to Pop's. I'll meet you there. Collins, you're coming with me." FP explains. He grabs his Serpent jacket and storms out of the trailer, leaving a crying Cooper duo behind him. Jughead gives me a questioning look.
"It was, uh, nice meeting you, Mrs. Cooper." She barely acknowledges me, which I can't blame her for, before I rush out or the trailer too. Half because I'm scared that FP will ditch me and half because I don't really like when people cry around me. It freaks me out.
FP doesn't ditch me though. He's waiting in his truck and as soon as I climb inside he shifts into drive and peels out of the trailer park.
"So, what's the plan?" I ask. FP rubs his jaw so furiously, I'm afraid he'll bruise himself.
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kick you out of this truck right now." Because we're supposed to be partners. Because we're a father/daughter surrogate duo. Because I'm more disposable than Jughead.
"Bodies are heavy." I offer. He almost smirks but no quite, he's still too mad. Whether it's at me, Jughead, or Alice Cooper, I can't be sure.
"We'll get bags of lye from the warehouse. Then go back to the storm drain to get the body and bury it deep in Fox Forest. The lye should get rid of it in a few weeks."
"We should get the teeth too."
"And do what with them?" FP asks, disgusted.
"Smash 'em. So they can't ID him. I saw it on Bones."
"You're a really weird kid. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, well. Blame it on Mustang. He loved cop shows."
"Bones wasn't a cop, she was an anthropologist."
"Wow. That was a big word, FP."
"Shut up."
Three hours, and a hell of a lot of sweat later, FP drops me off in front of my trailer. My shoes and hands are covered in dirt and I should probably burn them or something but whatever. I'm tired and who has that kind of money anyway? I just want to crawl into bed and get four sweet, sweet hours of sleep before school tomorrow. The light in my room flicks on and I almost scream before I realize it's just Sweet Pea.
"You scared me."
"Sorry. Why do you look like you crawled out of a grave." Sweet Pea asks, sleepily rubbing his eye with his palm.
"I did… not. I didn't. I was just, uh, going for a run with FP."
"It's two in the morning." He points out, giving em a stupid look.
"Night jogging. To help with his cravings." I try to explain.
"Okay. Don't tell me. Just get clean and come to bed, please." I let out a small sigh and nod. He's letting me off easy. Probably because it's 2 am and he's tired, or maybe because I do a lot of stupid things and he doesn't want to hear about them right now. Either way, I'm grateful. I give him a quick smooch on the forehead before turning out the light and closing the bedroom door. Shower first, then cuddling.
You've got this, Collins. It's not blood on your hands if he was already dead. You're just helping the Coopers. You're saving a family. You're a good person. You can handle this.