After Gray and Cliff had been caught messing around the night before, Cliff knew that the smartest thing to do was to escape and head back to the Valley. But instead of listening to wisdom, he pulled out his strange drug that Rock gave him and him and his friend got high. Very high.

They ran around town getting into whatever they could.

Percent of people who believed that Cliff was a zombie before he got high and raided the town-- 47%

Percentage of people who believed that Cliff was a zombie after he got high and raided the town-- 99.7

The remaining losers who didn't think that he was a zombie- .3%

Harris, who wanted to arrest Cliff, had chased Cliff and Gray into the woods where, once again, Gotz came to the rescue. After the high wore off, Gotz allowed them to stay at his cabin.

What he hadn't expected was that they'd have sex on his floor. Oh well. At least they were just appreciative. Thankfully they weren't gay.

That had all happened on the 20th. Currently, it was the night of the 21st.

Thomas had been locked up in jail for the longest time--ever since the funeral. He wanted out and badly. Harris wouldn't let him out though and he saw that the other mayor was getting a little desperate so he knew what he had to do. He had to use his powers to save himself and go back to reading the Playboy.

"I've had enough!" He cried out, jumping up from the cardboard box he was sitting on. "HYAAAAA!" He shouted with fury, a yellow flame surrounding him. The flame created a gale force wind that swirled around the cell. The rivaling mayor nearly shit his pants.

Instead of turning into Super Saiyan Thomas and breaking the scanner with his unrealistically high power level, the flame died slowly and Thomas reappeared, this time wearing a speedo.

The other mayor nearly had a heart attack and an orgasm both at the same time. Who could blame him?

Thomas charged at the door, his short, fat body packed into a tight, small, blue speedo, and shouted, "I will not be imprisoned any longer!"

The bars snapped and created an opening from the mere force of his extreme sex appeal.

Harris heard something. He got up and was about to walk down to the basement door when it busted open, Thomas running out with his fat rolls bouncing up and down as he did so.

Harris nearly died, the sight was so horrible to him.

Thomas ran to his secret hiding spot and threw the doors of the cabinet open. He rummaged through it and then, with fiery eyes, gave Harris a death glare, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY PORN?!"

Harris blinked, "I-I didn't do anything..."

Somewhere in Mineral Town, Stu was learing how to jack off.

&&&

On the morning of the 22nd, Kaoru threw a box at Miyabi.

"Get up."

Miyabi was temporarily speechless because she had just been hit with a wooden box. She blinked and looked around to see what was going on, "W-what? Is the meadow on fire?!"

"It's the Cooking Festival."

"The what?" Miyabi sat up.

Kaoru was at the calendar, looking. "We have to cook something. Well, anyone who is entering has to, and we're entering. The Gourmet picks a theme and everyone cooks according to that theme. The one with the best dish wins."

"Pfft. Lame." Miyabi laid back down. "Wake me up when the Sex Machine gets here."

"Who?"

Miyabi rolled her eyes, "Skye," as if Kaoru should have known that the Sex Machine simply had to be Skye.

"That's stupid, but I'll let you know when your lesbian lover gets here." Kaoru suppressed a giggle.

Miyabi growled, "Leave him alone! You're just jealous that he's hotter than you. Hotter than that lousy Sprite with a one inch bajinger."

"How do you know it's only one inch?" Kaoru flipped through the calendar.

"Not even one inch, I bet."

"As long as it gets the job done." Kaoru turned away from the calendar and looked at the boxes of food with a frown. They couldn't make anything without a kitchen.

"Ugh!" Miyabi sneered. "Spritefilia is so gross."

"What time is it?" Kaoru said, ignoring Miyabi comment.

"How should I know?"

"Check the sundial that Takakura and I installed yesterday. It's out in the pasture."

"...you're kidding me," Miyabi voiced flatly, getting up out of bed.

"I wouldn't joke about something this serious."

"Alright then," Miyabi walked to the door and opened it, "I'll check."

She walked outside and the bright morning light hit her retina's.

"Shit! My eyes are melting!" She fell to the ground and started crawling around in the grass, not knowing where she was going.

"Hey, babe!"

"Oh...double shit."

Rock stood behind her, his face beaming, "No need to thank me," he said, walking over to her.

Miyabi turned to face him, "W-what?"

"No, really. I decided to do this out of the kindness of my heart!"

Rock's grin widened.

"What the hell do you want, Rock?!" Miyabi snapped.

"To invite you to the Starry Night Festival!"

"..." Miyabi stood. "The what? Kaoru told me it was the cooking festival."

Rock blinked as his grin dissolved. "Oh...yeah. I must have been looking at the wrong page in the calendar, bwahaha!"

"I don't see how that funny, but you're cute so it's okay."

"Of course!" Rock smiled. "Everything about me is cute."

"Sure is, hun." Miyabi gave him a sympathetic smile.

Kaoru walked out of the house and over to the sun dial. She gasped,

"It's nearly ten already! You sleep in way too late, Miyabi."

"I could sleep all day!" Rock exclaimed, although nobody really cared about what he had to say.

"I could sleep with Skye all day." Miyabi sighed. "So I guess you want me to go to the festival wit-"

"Yeah, well I could sleep with the OCEAN all day!" Rock blurted out in counter to what Miyabi had said.

"...." both girls stared at him the man oblivious to his own stupidity.

"Let's just go." Kaoru walked off and Miyabi just followed. Rock was too busy day dreaming about his romantic relationship with a giant body of water to notice they left him.

&&&

Kaoru walked over to the Gourmet, whose back was turned to her and Miyabi. "Good morning sir, I was hoping you could tell me about the fes--" she stopped dead in her sentence when the Gourmet turned around.

Miyabi and Kaoru couldn't help but stare. He was just so...freakin' weird!

The Gourmet was fat. Short. Had Gigantic lips. Wore purple. Didn't have eyes that opened. Looked like a fish. How could anyone not stare at it?!

"Damn..." Miyabi breathed out. "With lips that big, I bet he can suck way better than me!"

Kaoru didn't know if she should just throw him into the ocean in order to prevent him dying by being out of the water for too long.

"Yes?" The Gourmet said, his voice even sounding quite high-pitched, squishy and fish-like.

"Um, I..." Kaoru had lost her train of thought after seeing the man's face.

"If you're wondering what the cooking festival theme is-- POT!"

Rock came running into the beach, "Did someone say pot?!"

"Please prepare a dish that has been cooked in a pot and return here at noon," The Gourmet instructed.

Kaoru feared that a vortex would tear open in time and space simply due to the mere force that was created when his lips bobbed up and down.

"Yeah, thanks," she said quickly, then ran out of there.

Rock watched her, "Hey! You better not steal my pot!"

"Rock, it's already been stolen." Miyabi gave the Gourmet one weary glance and then high-tailed it out of there as well.

Rock just walked over to the ocean and engaged in romantic conversation with it.

&&&

Despite how much they didn't want to go back, they decided it wasn't fair to leave Rock all alone with the freak. He might accidentally have sex with the Gourmet, thinking the Gourmet was a fish and knowing that fish came from ocean.

Actually, Rock probably had no idea that fish lived in the ocean.

Back at the festival, dishes were lined up on the table. All of the contestants were women, except Rock and Lukina.

Rock just took some random things he found in the kitchen, threw them into a pot and bam! He had made a deliciously horrid dish. Lukina made tea, because that's what gay guys enter into cooking festivals that were going to be judged by a fish. The rest of the dishes were things no one really cared about.

Ann was happily standing by her dish. She knew she would win.

Gourmet guaranteed her the victory. She had even put in extra effort last night in order to insure that he would certainly pick her.

Rock was back to romancing with the ocean and everyone else pretty much talked amongst each other.

"Psst, Kaoru!"

Kaoru heard a small whisper call from the ground. He looked down to see Roller.

"Roller!" She whispered back, looking around to see if anyone was looking. No one was, so she looked back down at him.

Roller held up, with both hands, a cup filled with green fluid. "Roller would have baked a cake but then Kaoru would get DQ'ed! Here, Roller gives tea!"

"But Lumina already entered tea."

"This is special tea!" Roller nodded. "Kaoru will surely win!"

Kaoru bent down and took the cup, "T-thanks Roller," and blushed.

"Roller is victorious!" He called before poofing out in a sprinkle of purple dust.

Kaoru walked up to the Gourmet and handed him the dish, "I'd like to enter."

"Oooh! Please, please! Set the cup on the tabl--OW!" the Gourmet cried, staggering backwards. Blood ran down his enormous lip, "My lip! I bit my lip!"

Kaoru looked at him with disgust but didn't quite know what to do.

Gourmet brought a fat hand to his lip and with the other, brushed a stray tear away. "Well...we should start the festival now! Everyone, get in the line!"

All the contestants stood in a line before the dish table. Rock had no idea what was going on, and only got in line because he saw everyone else doing it.

"Now," the Gourmet started, "I shall start by tasting the first dish--"

"HYAAAA!" The familiar voice of Mayor Thomas called.

Everyone shifted their eyes to the beginning of the beach. They all gasped when they spotted Thomas, still packed into a tight Speedo, running towards them.

"You will not let this festival start without me!" He huffed, coming to a stop. "It will start when I saw so!" He panted heavily. "And it starts now!" Then he collapsed, his fat rolls loosely laying against the ground.

Everyone had to suppress their vomit.

"Now let us start!" The Gourmet smiled but then winced in pain as his lip stung.

The Gourmet went through the dishes that the women made. He gave Ann a little wink as he gave her a G-O-O-D comment. Then he came to Lukina's, said that his tasted queer, and continued onto Rock.

Rock's dish looked awful. It was black with random, not-edible items sticking out. The Gourmet cringed and took a sip.

He spit some out of it out immediately and screamed, "B-A-D!!"

Rock frowned, "B…A…D? What's that spell?"

"Your dish sucks!" Gourmet hissed, "You are the worst chef ever. No, you're not even a chef--" He stopped and grabbed his stomach, his face turning lime green. He made strange dying noises and fell into the sand, rolling about helplessly as his stomach felt like it would explode. "Ah, oh God! Ahhh! Save me!!" He groaned, gasping for air.

Everyone panicked. They didn't know what to do.

Miyabi just laughed at the Gourmet while Rock was looking to the horrid scene with pure terror on his face.

Kaoru acted quickly, however. She ran over to the table, grabbed the tea and poured the liquid into the Gourmet's mouth. It was very difficult to do because he was flopping around like the fish out of water he really was.

Immediately, he stopped moving and his face paled.

Everyone stared quietly at him.

"Is...is he dead?" Miyabi had stopped laughing and looked to the seemingly lifeless Gourmet.

Just then, the Gourmet jumped up, "ONOMNOMNOMNOM!" He cried, tackling Kaoru and attempting to eat her.

Kaoru screamed and tried to kick Gourmet off. "What are you doing?!"

She couldn't kick the enormous man off so she grabbed his giant lip and pulled it.

The Gourmet immediately fell back and screamed in pain.

Kaoru got up and ran towards Miyabi, "Eat her first!"

"I--I didn't want to eat you!" Gourmet lied. "I wanted to thank you! And congratulate you. Young lady, you saved my life. You win the cooking festival!"

"What?!" Kaoru and Ann both gasped at the same time.

"But...but, you…you!" Ann stuttered. First, Cliff's ghost was having sex with Gray and then she loses the cooking festival!

Ann stormed off. "YOU'LL NEVER GET ME IN BED AGAIN!" She cried.

Nobody knew what to do so they all congratulated Kaoru and then walked off.

The Gourmet chased Rock around the beach, "I'll kill you! ONOMNOMNOM!"

Miyabi gave Kaoru a wink. "Nice job Super K. So, when do we get the Sprite?"

"We don't get a Sprite for this." Kaoru frowned.

"...WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS THEN?"

"To tell readers the story behind why they'd always win the cooking festival if they entered Relaxed Tea."

"I'm still wondering when we get to smoke pot!" Rock cried, still being chased.

"ONOMNOMNOM."