I edited this again so you might wanna reread it! Sorry :$

Please dont hesitate to tell me if there are passages etc. that dont work. Song by Muse.

"I thought I was a fool for no one

But oh baby, I'm a fool for you

You caught me under false pretenses

How long before you let me go?

Glaciers melting in the dead of night

You set my soul alight"

xxx

Reductio Ad Absurdum

xxx

Seth stared straight ahead without blinking for almost ten minutes.

He didn't want to believe he'd been wrong. Not after all the self doubt and drama he'd had been through these past days. But it was too late now; the doubt was there and he had to realize that it was very well possible that Spencer Reid wasn't the boy he had met 14 years ago.

He would have thought that the realization would have been welcome, because it would make things so much easier. If there was no connection, there was no longer any reason for him to be held back by memories and scruples, and he could go back to not caring…

His eyes focused on Spencer who was slightly slumped over, strands of hair falling over his drooping eyelids; he seemed lost in his own thoughts, completely oblivious to Seth's.

The older Gecko brother took the opportunity to put his assumptions to a test, to look at his hostage the way he usually looked at things, as something that was outside of a cosmos that only contained him and Richard, as meaningless. He tried to think of possibly breaking those thin, pale fingers, of yanking at those soft locks to force Spencer's head back as he pressed a knife or gun to a slender throat, of putting a bullet right between those eyes…

Those eyes which had a habit of burning right into his soul, which somehow managed to break the ice that enclosed his being so tightly, those eyes which had just minutes ago looked at him with true empathy for his fate after everything that he'd put their owner through today.

The thought of seeing them break, of seeing the light fading from them made him feel sick instantly, in a way he usually only experienced upon discovering one of his brother's bloody screw ups.

Seth didn't have to strain himself any further to know that nothing had changed. He felt just like he always did when looking at Spencer, completely beside himself.

A swell of almost panic overcame him at that. Damnit, how could that be? How could it be that once something that had been the foundation of a whole house of cards had broken away, that the rest of the house remained standing?

"Actually," Spencer's voice broke through his thoughts, slightly slurred, "It's only logical that a wrong premise can lead to a true conclusion, just not the other way around."

Seth stared at the young man, realizing that he must have spoken the last sentence out loud. Logical? How the fuck was that logical? Why did he still feel-

He pushed to his feet abruptly, suddenly afraid to finish his train of thought. Instead, he walked around the table, trying to focus on the fact that they should really take cover in the room again. To think, Vampires, cops, danger…not...that...

"It's time to go back," he said, a little more brusquely than necessary maybe.

When Reid took too long to understand it was meant as a command, he reached out to pull him up by his arm, impatient. Spencer swayed dangerously, the sudden movement too much to compensate for in his alcohol induced state. Before he was all the way up, he staggered, blindly reaching for the table to steady himself and missing.

Seth caught him instinctively, suddenly finding himself with his arms full of the thin agent. Reid gasped, instinctively grabbing a hold of his suit clad arms to keep from falling. He attempted to steady himself, only to stagger again almost immediately, completely out of balance. Without thinking, Seth grabbed hold of him more firmly, keeping him upright.

The sudden proximity was enough to immediately divert his thoughts completely, leaving him soley focussed on the lithe frame in his arms, so close that their chests were touching and he could feel Spencer's hair and breath against his neck. His own breath caught at the sensation, and suddenly he felt hot. His brain and body were betraying him, both short circuited effectively, just like the last time they had been this close...

Spencer strained against his grip just then, hands still clutched in Seth's suit even as he tried to find his stand. The useless attempt to shake him off reminded Seth that the last time they had been this close he had held a knife to the kid's throat, Spencer shaking against him, tense with fear and trying to get away...

Right now, he wasn't putting nearly as much effort into getting away but Seth was pretty sure that that was either because Spencer was far too tired and intoxicated to even make the connection Seth Gecko-dangerous-too close anymore, or because he simply couldn't act upon it properly.

Briefly, he allowed himself to feel rotten about that incendent and its consequences - but even that didn't do much to distract him from the fact that his heart was hammering inside his chest, pumping hot blood through his veins, making him feel dizzy. Feeling cpressed against him like this...it suddenly felt so right. So nessecary. Like he would suffocate if it were to stop.

His fingers flexed around the kid's arms as he held him upright, inadvertently pulling him closer still till there was virtually no room left between them. He wanted…wanted…to pull Spencer closer and not let go until he realized nothing bad would happen to him…until he would want to be this close to him, closer still… He wanted to keep feeling that warm skin underneath his fingers, more and more of it, exploring, tasting it-

"Let me go-"

He was shaken out of his thoughts when Spencer twisted in his grip again, voice tight and trembling. Seth blinked, looking down to find his hostage dazed but tense as he tried to pull away from him. His grip tighthend instinctively for a moment and Spencer winced, fear flashing in his eyes for a split second. Seth frowned but didn't let go. Because Spencer would fall if he did and having him break something would be a liablitly, he told himself, unwilling to admit how much he wanted to just keep holding on.

The only thing bothering was Spencer tensing in his arms again, traces of misery and desperation creeping into his expression as he realized he had no chance of untangling himself. Seth grimaced. Drunk or not, he realized, a repetition of today's èclat in the phone booth would of course be greatly upsetting...

"It's okay," he found himself saying, surprised by his own soft tone of voice.

He kept his grip just steady enough to be supporting, smoothing one hand over Spencer's arm reassuringly. It was okay. He didn't have a knife now. And he certainly wasn't going to use one.

Unfortunately, he'd done everything so far to not let Spencer in on that particular thought process, so really it was no surprise that he wasn't believed. The young man pulled away again, more forcibly this time and Seth made himself let go -just long enough to throw one strong arm around his waist when his legs gave out under him. This time, Spencer ended up pressed even closer against him, leaning against him with almost his full weight. Seth briefly closed his eyes as he felt Spencer's breath hitching, body tensing even further against his in apprehension.

"It's fine," he kept his voice as steady as his grip, trying to sound reassuring somehow, "I've got you."

He waited, and really, Spencer stopped squirming after a few moments, giving up an unwinnable fight.

"I would think…that's mutually…exclusive…"

There was that bitterness again, thinly veiled only by the kid's obvious exhaustion. The alcohol was clearly loosening his tongue.

Seth chose not to answer, just as he chose not to examine the reaction those words caused inside him. Just for a second he had forgotten how things really were. His troubles, his newest doubts, the fact that Reid had every reason to not want to be too close to him… those issues were still there though, standing between them, made obvious by what was happening.

His jaw tightened, tense. What had he thought, really? That a couple of drinks and a few empathetic words would somehow magically erase everything that had happened between them? That what he was feeling would ever in any way be appropriate...or reciprocated?

Suddenly, Seth felt cold when he had been hot just seconds ago. Yes, what the hell was he thinking?

He took a step back, bringing as much distance as possible between them without losing his grip, looking at the door instead of those eyes.

"Come on, we're going back to the room."

Spencer shook his head, eyelids drooping, "I don't want…to…"

Seth's fingers flexed around slender arms again for a short moment before he got himself under control; then he nodded, answering more steadily but just as quietly, jaw tight.

"I know. Let's go."

x

Somehow they made it back to the motel room.

Seth locked the door behind them, keeping on arm wrapped tightly around Reid's waist to keep him on his feet. The young man may have wanted to protest some more, or even walk on his own, but was far too out of it for either at this point. Spencer was still tense against him, getting worse the closer they came to their room and Seth, after having worked through feeling miserable, was beginning to be annoyed by that.

Yes, sure. He had threatened the kid a couple of times...but he had been reasonable for hours now, he had shown a more human side of himself, and he had let Reid know it wouldn't happen again unless nessecary. So why couldn't the kid just fucking relax already? He wasn't Richard after all…

They made it over to the bed and in the attempt to get the kid onto the bed at least somewhat elegantly, Seth ended up being pulled down as well, having to brace himself with his hands on either side of his hostage as Spencer sank backwards into the mattress, clearly losing to his on coming nausea and dizziness. He ended up much too close, in a pose that was all sorts of suggestive to him, and with Spencer once again staring up at him like a mouse trapped in front of a snake.

His eyes were shining like glass in the moonlight from the street, beautiful and drawing him in despite their expression and Seth found himself unable to move away, simply staring down at him as a mess of emotions warred inside him.

His right hand, pressed into the pillow, was close enough to Spencer's face that he could feel strands of hair between his fingers; he found himself itching to move it just a little, to just touch...to trace those sharp cheekbones and slightly parted lips, the pale skin stretching over a prominent collarbone. He did move just minimally, testingly maybe, the tips of his fingers brushing the side of Reid's neck just barely. He felt the kid shudder at the touch in the same moment that his eyes were drawn to a dark line on his neck, just by his fingers, the mark left there by first Richard and then him pressing a knife against the tender skin.

Spencer flinched, his breath hitching fearfully; he tried to pull away again, his free hand coming up to close around Seth's wrist. He looked up at him with wide, unfocused eyes, suddenly terribly vulnerable again and Seth knew that no matter his demeanor, the terrifying incident in the phone booth had been on his mind till now. That despite everything, he was still expecting something awful to happen.

Seth frowned, trying to tell himself it was his own fault that it was like this. There was nothing he could do about it but prove those fears unnecessary.

Because, attraction or not, he was not like Richard. In any way.

And yet…the image of his brother staring at Reid, that look in his eyes, just hours before he'd found them both on the floor of the motel room, a knife to Reid's throat…that image now threatened to blend with other pictures in his mind. Just how was he different from Richie when he also…?

No. No, that wasn't the same. He would never... except, maybe...just with the way the kid looked so...delectable like this...

He gulped, forcing the thought away immediately. Hell no. How the fuck was he supposed to convince Spencer that he was going to be safe with him for the night, if he couldn't even convince himself?

He pulled his hand away, and then, realizing he had been staring into Spencer's eyes with an intensity that must be disturbing given their close proximity, he averted his gaze, backing up some. Professional. Whatever happened to being professional?

God, he needed some sleep...to not think for a while. As it was, he wouldn't come to a productive conclusion anyway now.

He looked around, finding Reid's handcuffs on the bedside table and reaching for them. As expected, Spencer tensed again the second Seth took hold of one of his wrists and pushed it into the pillow over his head, securing it to the headboard swiftly. Spencer's breath hitched in alarm as he pulled at the restraining cuffs. He struggled to get up but Seth pushed him back down into the pillows with one hand on his shoulder.

He knew this wasn't ideal, but it was nessecary.

"Relax," he murmured, smoothing his fingers over the wrist in his grasp, "Just making sure you'll still be here in the morning. Go to sleep."

For a second he thought Reid do just the opposite, fight, scream maybe...the way he looked at him was just too frightened. He didn't move, just holding the kid's eyes with what he hoped was a calm, ressuring expression, trying not to think about what he'd do if this went out of hand...

It seemed to take forever, both of them staring into each other's eyes intently, but eventually Spencer nodded minimally, sinking back down into the mattress. Seth smiled slightly as he pulled away, giving the kid some room to breathe. He got up and walked around the bed, shrugging off his jacket before lying down on his side.

He could feel Spencer staring at him in the dark, unmoving, breaths flat and unsteady. He didn't move though, just staring at the ceiling for God knew how many minutes it took for Spencer to come to the conclusion that he wasn't going to suddenly pounce. Eventually, just as exhaustion was starting to lull Seth to sleep, the kid spoke.

"Why…did you tell me…?" Spencer's voice was barely more than a whisper in the dark, hushed, uncertain. His breathing had evened out somewhat and Seth figured he was back to being calmer again...feeling safe enough to think about other things. Like their conversation earlier.

Seth turned his head to look at the kid's face in the shadows, but hesitated to answer. He knew what Reid was asking about: Why had he told him that story of his youth? In all honesty, he wasn't too sure why he had done it…he had just felt like explaining might change something…

"I wanted…wanted you…to stop looking at me like…" Seth didn't finish his sentence, his voice suddenly gone.

He watched in the dark as Reid's eye lids sank again and again, too heavy to stay open. He was pretty sure that what he'd just said hadn't been heard and he was glad for it.

He watched as sleep claimed Spencer's unwilling mind, tension finally fully draining from his slender frame. After a moment he stretched out on the far side of the bed, pulling the covers over himself.

His thoughts were still in chaos, too much on his mind to properly process.

For a brief period there in the bar he'd actually felt remotely good, because Reid hadn't acted like he was a complete psycho, because they had seemingly bonded over their pasts, because seeing the kid constantly distressed by his presence had been starting to distress him, which in turn had distressed him even more...

And then...the realization that he might have confused the kid with someone else and all the uncertainty that came with that had so far done virtually nothing about those feelings. No, he still felt torn between frustration about his own feelings as well as Reid's behavior, the disturbing feeling of protectiveness he felt coming on everytime he looked at the kid, and worst of all, the desire that he felt and which completely contradicted both of the other feelings. It had been building slowly, suppressed purposefully at first -but now he couldn't do that anymore, couldn't ignore it...

Now it was sweltering inside him, burning in a way that definitely was in no way caused by or connected to their possible meeting 14 years ago. No, that at least he was sure was all Reid...

He glanced over at Reid again, taking in the way his eyelashes cast shadows on his cheeks, the soft fall of his hair caressing his face and neck. He reached out before he knew what he was doing, running his fingertips over a soft cheek. It felt like velvet to his touch, startlingly delicate. His fingers twitched, eager to take a firmer hold; he wasn't used to touching anyone with gentleness or care. Grabbing people generally worked rather well for him.

He had never worried about breaking anything before. Reid though looked frail enough to shatter like glass under his fingers. It made him want to be careful, gentle…his thumb brushed just past slightly opened lips, igniting a soft sigh…

It was only then that he realized how little space there was left between their faces.

Seth drew back quickly, retreating back to his side of the bed. What the hell was he doing? He shouldn't be doing this, shouldn't take advantage…More so, he shouldn't tempt himself into doing something he'd certainly regret. Inwardly, he cursed the fact that he was now trapped in this small room, in the same bed with this current temptation right next to him. Great job, really.

Think about tomorrow. The FBI, the vampires, Richie...

He tried to, hard, but in the end his eyes stayed focussed on the soft rise and fall of the youth's chest, the way he was slightly curled in on himself…and there it was again, that feeling, thats trange mix of instant physical longing and some other, unfamiliar emotion...

It was a shadow of what he'd felt when he was seventeen, he realized, a part of him awakenign that had been buried for forever and that he had been sure had died. And yet, there it was, like a tiny drop of flame in midst of the vast mass of black that was his being, his soul. Tiny, weak, and yet somehow managing to reach every last corner inside him, setting his soul alight.

Seth stared in the dark, feeling himself getting lost in the experiecne, enraptured and frightened by it at the same time. He didn't know how, but this kid brought out something in him he hadn't know even still existed, something he hadn't realized he'd missed until it was back with him again.

It was unsettling to feel anything other than anger, frustration or exhaution after all these years...but it didn't feel entirely bad. And staring down at Spencer's delicate features underneath he moonlight, he would go so far as to say that once he got used to it again, it would feel great.

But he wouldn't, wouldn't he?

There was only one more day and all of this would be over, one way or another. This change he was feeling, he was sure it was becuase of Spencer and it would stop once he was gone. He would go back to being dark and cold inside again...

Unless...

He scoffed drily. What a ridiculous thought. He couldn't take Spencer with him where he was going, if only because the kid certainly didn't want to go anywhere with him. He probably wouldn't be able to change enough for that to happen ever; it was too late for him to be awarded with any sort of light.

There was no room for anyone else between him and Richard, he knew that. There were only tears and blood and death.

And Spencer deserved neither of those.

He was just a kid, unfortunately having gotten caught up in the sick joke that was Seth's life. If he stayed with him any longer he would die for sure, either suddenly and brutally, or piece by piece over time.

Seth closed his eyes, trying to shake the grim thoughts that were starting to haunt him. He wouldn't let that happen, any of it. For once in his life he'd be the better man.

This would end tomorrow. Tomorrow, however the day might turn out, would be the last day he'd ever see Spencer Reid. With any luck, the kid would go home, get counseling and recover after a few months of jumpiness and very little sleep.

He'd have nightmares for sure, about guns and knives and Richard. He'd have nightmares about Seth, too, he knew. But it would be over and he'd have a change to get over it, too forget.

Seth would make sure of that. No matter how hard it would be on him.

xxx

Hazel Martinez looked a mess as she sunk down into a plastic chair in the BAUs makeshift office. Her makeup was all over her face and her hair was tangled into wild knots. Elle sat across from her slowly, giving the young woman an empathetic look.

"Hazel, my name is Elle Greenaway. I'm with the Behavioral Analysis Unit."

They had kept Hotch and Gideon as well as other men at a distance for now, not sure if there was reason but not wanting to risk the girl having a panic attack. They'd been assured she wasn't physically hurt, but she hadn't talked much either so far…

"I'm on the same team as Spencer Reid. He was with you when you were kidnapped, wasn't he? Can you tell me what happened after you left the bank?"

The girl nodded shakily.

"They took us to a motel, they said they wouldn't hurt us if we cooperated…but when Dr. Reid didn't tell him what he wanted to know, he just changed and became really brutal. He put a gun to my head and…" Her voice cracked, tears filling her eyes.

"It's okay," Elle said softly, "take your time."

"Dr. Reid said he would do whatever Seth wanted, just to leave me alone. He gave them information and then they let us sleep. The next day, Seth went out and left us with his brother…I was in the other room but I heard…"

"What?"

She swallowed hard, picking at her sleeves nervously, "…He…Richard…attacked him. Threw him to the ground and choked him…I think he…was going to…"

She broke off, her voice cracking. Elle had gone pale, the worst case scenario on her mind.

"But then Seth came back and there was a lot of yelling, more fighting. Then they were gone and I was alone with Richard. I was so frightened…but he just ignored me for hours…until they called us. I talked to Dr. Reid, then they let me go."

Elle could barely hide the surprise on her face at that, "Do you know why?"

A shaking of head.

"What did he say where he was? What was happening? Did he sound like he was hurt?"

"I don't know. He sounded…I don't know, desperate, panicked. I think Seth was threatening him."

Elle felt her stomach turn, "With what?"

But Hazel just shook her head, unable to continue on. Eventually Elle thanked her and left the room, joining Hotch behind the door.

"I'm fearing the worst," she shook her head desperately, looking sick, "those men are the worst kind. I think Hazel was let go because Reid made some sort of deal…a sacrifice on his part. We need to find him now."

"We're doing all we can," Hotch frowned, "but without any more leads we have no way of knowing where he is right now."

He turned to stare at the info board in front of him marking the possible route of the Gecko brothers through Mexico along with pictures taken of them from security cameras.

The team was busy swarming around him in their makeshift office but they were getting nowhere. There was no use searching every tiny village in Mexico; they would never find them that way.

No, if they were going to get Reid back it would have to be during the exchange. But that was high risk…

He looked around at the tired faces of his colleagues; they were all at their limits. They had barely slept in days, sick with worry about Reid.

Now, with what Hazel had told them, they worried even more. Reid had been well enough to talk the day before, but who knew what was happening to him right now?

The uncertainty was what hit them worst of all, Elle and Morgan pale with dread that Seth might make due on his threats, Gideon and he worried Reid might die from injuries until they got to him.

He sighed when the phone rang.

Morgan was calling for the tenth time today asking about how far they'd gotten. He'd been forced to be transported back to Quantico the night before where they could take proper care of him, but he'd fought the decision despite his weak state. JJ had gone back with him and he was sure Garcia would welcome them at the airport.

Hotch was staring at a picture of Seth Gecko, trying to plan the best way to act during the exchange, to predict the man's plans and reactions when Gideon stormed in, turning on the TV by the wall.

"Look at this," he insisted. They both turned around quickly.

The local news were reporting on what seemed like a crime spree; the reporter was speaking Spanish but they saw the pictures of people on the screen.

"They're saying they all vanished over the past week without a trace," Elle translated, "Most of them were truckers or tourists which is why it took a while for them to be reported missing but they all disappeared in this area."

"Do you think it has to do with our case? Why would the Gecko brothers kidnap even more people?"

"It's not them," said a voice from the door suddenly, and they all looked up in surprise to find an officer escorting yet another young woman in their direction.

She had long light brown hair and a pretty face, but there seemed something wrong with her eyes. They had an ardor to them that wouldn't go with the golden crucifix around her neck.

She walked over to Hotch and extended a hand: "My name is Kate Fuller. I understand you're looking for Seth and Richie?"

So Seth realizes that it doesn't matter if it was Reid or not. He feels the same either way in the present. And he cares. Aww...did that stuff about light make sense? I was jsut trying to say that Seth finds some of his suppressed humanity abck when he's close to Reid. And while he might think that that makes him weak, he also likes the feeling. It's just human.

The part about Seth's realization strangely reminds me of something we're doing right now in one of my classes. Logic. Sometimes in derivations you can introduce a variable that isn't a part of the equation and just pretend it's true. With the help of that you can then prove that it's opposite is untrue. Once you've proven that, you remove the unnecessary variable and keep your result. It's called Reductio Ad Absurdum, hence the chapter title. Seth thought there was an A and that it caused B and C, and now that he's realized A isn't real, he's already proven B and C to be true. LOL

Yeah, Im gonna stop now. School is starting to bleed into my work. Im sorry this is taking so long btw. I have my finals next week.

R&R please :)