Chapter 21 - The Faint Trace Of Bonding
It took me a long time to find a comfortable position in the tree. I wasn't nearly as adept at climbing as Rory so had struggled to get up above the first few branches, especially with my old shoulder injury from the Kitty incident, but eventually I had found a fork in one of them and settled myself down with my sleeping bag. It was hardly luxury, and even the cold hard floor of the cave seemed more appealing, but I was glad to be above ground and safe. Away from Blaine. Taking my belt out of my trousers and securing it round the branch and myself I lay down and closed my eyes, trying to drift off.
I was by the river again. Blaine was nowhere to be seen, something I was glad of. Finally alone again. My feet were already submerged in the water, the cold tingling sensation refreshing, so I bent down and put my hands in too, beginning to wash off all the dirt. It took a while to scrub them, the stains pretty tough, but then suddenly I began to realise something wasn't right. The water had began to become cloudy, change colour. To red. Glancing up the river I saw a huge stream of blood drifting towards me, polluting the river and making it smell bad. Bringing my arms and feet out of the water I followed the trail with my eyes and then saw its source – another pair of feet. Looking up at the person they belonged to I screamed. The boy, the boy by the river. It was him. But only I could tell. His face was disfigured, features spoilt by huge deep slashes that were seeping blood. At his stomach I could see the trailing remains of intestines poking out, foul stomach acid seeping into his clothes and making the grass around him fizz. The boy saw me looking at him, my face stretched out in horror, and smiled.
"Sam." He said.
"Sam." Suddenly another voice came from across the river. Turning my head to look across I saw Rory sitting opposite me, his feet also in the river. He seemed like he had before, apart from the gaping hole in his stomach and the slash on his cheek. His blood was seeping into the river too, but he didn't seem to mind. Just smiled.
"Sam." Jerking my head away to look down at the river I saw in horror the floating bodies of Tina and Joe, their smiles the same as everybody else's. Then the final voice right beside my face, filled with the soft adoration of a young girl.
"Sam."
I was jerked awake not only by my nightmare, but the feeling of falling. My violent movement had sent me tumbling off the branch, but my belt held me against it so I rolled over and was hanging by a thread. The feeling of the leather cutting into my stomach stopped my breathing for a second and I let out a shout, before frantically trying to pull myself back up. My hands fumbled for a grip on the branch and then I used all of my arm strength to haul myself back upwards. That had been a close one.
Once I was secure on the branch again I looked around to see what time of day it was. The sun was fairly high up in the sky, so I could assume it was morning. So much for me taking a watch. But I didn't care – I had only used that excuse as a reason to leave. I was fully expecting Blaine to be gone when I climbed back down. Checking my pack to see if anything had fallen out I thought about my plan for the day. If Blaine was for some miraculous reason still around, I could hope to steal some things from him while he slept. Maybe some more food, an extra weapon – I had never been good with that mace anyway. For a second I thought about doing the same thing he had done to the District 4 tributes, but then decided against it. I was mean, but not that mean. Once I had the supplies I needed I would leave this place for the last time – head West towards the Career camp. I had gathered more information on them now so could begin to plan an attack – the food store would be my first target. If Blaine had brought things with him he wasn't exactly an adept hunter (for animals anyway), so hopefully the others wouldn't be either. If I cut out their food, I cut out their source of energy. Then, then they were weak.
After a few minutes more of deliberation I began my descent down the tree. I was trying to move quietly, hoping not to disturb my estranged ally if he was still sleeping, but to my surprise and annoyance, when my feet touched the ground he was there, waiting for me.
"Morning." Crap. That was the first part of my plan foiled. And possibly the second. "I never thought you'd come down." Blaine continued, smiling at me in a way I still didn't understand. He didn't seem tired so I imagined he'd had a pretty good sleep. He must have felt safe in that cave. "Did you fall?" Crap, he'd heard that too. Not answering any of the statements or questions I walked purposefully towards the fire pit, looking to see if anything was cooking. There was. Blaine had turned the rest of the rabbit into a stew, and it was boiling with what looked like carrots. Jeez. Carrots. As I picked up a stick that had been fashioned into a kind of spoon and scooped up a mouthful of stew, Blaine walked over to join me.
"Well good morning Blaine, thanks for cooking breakfast!" He said sarcastically. To be honest I was mildly impressed. Either my accomplice had been assigned the cook at Career camp, or he actually had some skills outside of being arrogant.
"This needs more salt." I said, looking over. It didn't really, but I was trying to be difficult, plus I wanted to see if he had some. He did.
"Fine." Reaching into his bag he pulled out the little jar and I had to hold back the snort as he shook some in.
"Wow. Won't Puck, Rachel and Quinn be running low on their sodium levels now that you've taken their main supply?" Blaine shot me a look, finally one I could recognise. Annoyance.
"Ok, I get it. Shut up." My eyes glanced at the still relatively full pack. If I grabbed it and ran now, how far would I get before Blaine caught up with me? Far enough to escape? Maybe he was worse at climbing trees than I was. I would probably have to leave my pack behind, but I was willing to make that sacrifice if I got everything else. Blaine walked the remaining steps over to where I was crouched and took the spoon I had been holding off me to stir the stew. For a second our hands connected, and the feeling made me jump.
"Hey!" I said, not really understanding why I was so offended.
"You had your say on breakfast, now let me dish it out." As I watched him pick the pot up and pour the mixture into two makeshift bowls, I wondered why he was sticking around. I still hadn't provided much in the words of service, and I obviously hated him. Something must be driving him that I didn't know about. And it had to be strong. As I was handed the bowl I managed a smile, knowing that he had done a nice thing. We sat in silence for a while as we ate, but then Blaine swallowed a mouthful and started the conversation again.
"So, what is the plan?" My teeth bit into my tongue to stop the immediate retort that threatened to spill out.
"Um…" It was hard to think of a way to talk to Blaine that wasn't aggressive. "I had planned to head to the Career camp."
"The Career camp?" Blaine seemed surprised. I guess he'd been thinking we'd go hunting or something.
"Yeah," I replied, ignoring his scepticism, "The numbers are getting low now. I need to start planning an attack."
"Well I can help you with that." The District 1 boy said. "We can sort out an attack." There was that word again. It just didn't seem to sit right with me. "What kind of thing were you thinking?"
"I-" I paused, forcing my tongue to move in a different way, "we, need to cut out their food supply. If they rely on salt as much as you do, they're not going to survive very long without basic provisions." The jibe was only small, but it filled my need to stand ground. Blaine smiled weakly and nodded.
"You're right." I wondered how well Blaine would have done if he hadn't met me. If on his rampage he'd run straight past me, murdered some poor other unsuspecting tributes and been left to fend on his own. How would he have done without Career supplies?
"Yes." The response sounded odd. For a second we were silent again, then I abruptly put my empty bowl down and stood up, moving to pick up my pack. "I'm gonna go get everything ready."
We set off in silence. A light wind was blowing, so the sound of it whistling through the trees almost covered our footsteps through the grass. Blaine walked in front of me – something I'd said was because he knew the location of the Career camp better than I did, but we both knew was because I still didn't fully trust him. It would take us at least half a day to reach the camp without taking any detours, but I was glad to be doing something different. It felt like I was back on track.
As we walked I let my thoughts drift ahead to the plan. Having Blaine on board would probably do us some good – he would have a much better knowledge of the camp than I did. I hadn't even seen it – he had lived there. I figured it would be somewhere near the cornucopia, probably by the lake, as rivers were not something Careers needed to worry about. There would be no reason to hide, so I was sure the camp would be pretty easy to spot. And hopefully just as easy to destroy. The idea of how this destruction would take place hadn't started to take root in my mind yet, but I figured once we got there things would eventually slot into place.
I glanced around the surrounding trees as we walked. We'd seen no sign of anyone else around us – with only 9 people left in the arena there was plenty of space for us to spread out. Sunshine and Jake were most probably still together, the Careers would be at their camp. It was only Finn and Santana we really had to be cautious about, Another reason for my desire to design some kind of combat was that it meant the Gamemakers wouldn't try and devise some kind of feast. Well, not yet anyway.
Blaine and I trekked through the forest for a considerable time. We made our way up a large hill, and when we reached the top of it I could see the far away sight of the lake, visible over the top of the canopy. Maybe this was what the arena had looked like to Rory at the top of his tree. I brought out the map from my bag and looked at it, working out our location. We weren't far away.
"This is good progress." I murmured, mainly to myself, but Blaine was standing nearby and simply nodded. Staring down the other side of the hill I saw the river that obviously joined to the one we had been using, winding around the bottom. It was time for a break.
"Let's go." Hoisting my bag on my shoulder again I started to walk once more and Blaine followed, striding by my side this time. I was surprised he hadn't tried to start any more conversations, but figured he had either finally got the hint, or just didn't have that much to say.
We reached the bottom of the descent and I dropped my pack by the edge of the river. The wind from before had died down and the sun was peeking through the trees – it was pretty warm. I could feel the thin layer of sweat over my body from the exertion mixing with the dried blood and dirt that already resided on my skin. I needed a wash.
Turning to look at Blaine I saw him standing a few feet away, looking a little unsure about what was happening. He seemed tired too, so was pretty sure he wouldn't argue with what I was about to say.
"You wait here and guard the things. I won't be long." Without explaining what I was doing, or even waiting for him to agree, I lifted my shirt up over my head. When I let it drop onto the ground and began to remove my trousers, my District 1 friend was sitting down on the nearby grass watching.
Whether it was because we were both boys, or that I finally didn't have to worry about being ambushed without any warning, but I stripped myself completely naked to wash. The cameras wouldn't film me, or the parts that would matter, so I didn't feel uncomfortable about anyone watching. The river came only to my knees and was freezing cold, but as it stung my skin I let out a breath and began to scrub at the dried residue on my skin. It felt nice to finally remove these things. Hygiene was the last thing on your mind when you were fighting for your life, but this felt more like cleansing my insides. I was starting off new, a fresh chapter of my story of the Games. It took a while but I managed to remove the dirt and blood from my arms and legs, and then moved onto my chest and face. I was concentrating hard on the scrubbing, my skin taking on a raw, red appearance, when suddenly I heard a sound behind me.
"Blaine?" I asked apprehensively. He was supposed to be on guard – I wasn't fighting anybody naked. The area fell silent, I held my body still, listening for anything else, and then when I went to turn my head felt a tirade of ice-cold water splash over it.
For a second my vision was completely blinded – the shock of the temperature drop also cutting off my breathing. Then finally I resurfaced and saw Blaine standing in front of me, laughing his head off.
"Hey!" He was naked too, his body toned and pretty nice to look at. He wasn't nearly as dirty as me but his skin had a slightly darker tint to it underneath the grime. Not knowing what to do for a second, and annoyed at my companion's continued laughter, I scanned my eyes around and saw the container he had used to tip the water over me, it was just a hollowed out piece of wood, had he made it? The vessel was too far away for me to grab, so I just settled for digging my hands into the water and bringing up a huge wave that splashed over him.
"Hah!" Blaine staggered backwards as the water drowned him, and my own laughter spilt from my lungs. My arms raised in anticipation of the next attack in my direction and pretty soon the ice cold sensation was rushing over me again.
The last time I had laughed like this was at home. Stacey had tried to deck herself out with makeup for one of her anti-capitol group rallies, but the dark circles around her eyes had made her look just like a panda. Mother and I had laughed for hours.
When I finally dragged myself out of the river, shaking with cold and the soft residues of laughter, the sun was a little lower in the sky. Blaine followed me, his hair dripping with water and his cheeks pink with exertion. As we lay down on the grass I glanced over at him and let my thoughts drift. Had we just bonded? Nothing much had been said again – I should have scolded him for leaving our supplies unattended. But I had enjoyed the feeling of being happy again, of being alive. Blaine closed his eyes and stretched out his body, allowing the slowly falling sun to dry his skin. I watched his chest rise and fall and did the same.
As the fire crackled I set about cutting crosses in the chestnuts I had gathered recently. Blaine and I had decided to set up camp, with the night drawing in and not enough time to reach the Career base before sunset. We had spent the rest of the afternoon finding a suitable place to stop and then I had gone to find dinner. Blaine had built a much less impressive fire pit from my verbal instructions and it was now fully operational. The dark haired boy sat opposite me, the fire separating us again, but not the same way it had the night before. I respected him for giving me my distance – for accepting that I wasn't as ready to accept him into my team as he was.
"How long do the chestnuts take to cook?" He asked. The question made me smile – it was never something that would need to be asked in District 12.
"About half an hour." Handing over the nuts I had already crossed Blaine put them into the fire and we watched them cook. I guessed the anthem would play soon, maybe in the next hour or so. But there had been no deaths today.
"We should make it to the Career camp before noon tomorrow." He said. "It's not that far away."
"How big is it?" I asked in reply.
"Fairly big." I cut the last chestnut and handed it over. Placing my palms flat on the ground I leant back, resting on them, and stared up into the sky for a few seconds before continuing the conversation.
"What do you think they're doing right now?"
"Who? The Careers?"
"Yes." A small smile crept across Blaine's face.
"Well, Puck will definitely be shirtless." There was something in his expression – perhaps a private joke, or amusement towards his fellow tribute – but I couldn't tell if he liked that or not. "He'll be doing some kind of manly deed. Probably practicing fighting." As if he needed any more of that. "Quinn will be pretending she likes it and Rachel…" He paused again. Something about Rachel had him riled. I was sure he was keeping as many secrets as I was.
"Rachel seems like an idiot." I said, partly referring to what I had seen her do to Marley in the training arena, and partly to try and make him feel a little better. Blaine nodded.
"She is."
The chestnuts were almost ready. The sun had dipped very low so soon we would have to extinguish the fire. Blaine had started shelling the bark off sticks with his knife and I watched his fingers work curiously.
"What is your best weapon?" I wasn't quite sure why I asked the question. Maybe I was thinking about the possible fight tomorrow, maybe I was guarding myself for the eventual fight we would probably have to have against each other. Maybe I was just curious.
"The bow and arrow." Blaine replied, fairly quickly, and without any suspicion. "But I'm pretty handy with a knife too. What about you?" My smile dropped. I knew what my best weapon was. I knew all too well. Myself.
"How did Marley die?" Blaine asked. His voice was cautious, but seemed intent on finally getting an answer. "Did you kill her?"
"NO!" My shout was so loud it made a few birds rise up and flap away from the trees. The accusation stung me and made my teeth clench with anger. "Sunshine and Jake killed her."
"How?" I tried to calm my heartbeat down, knowing I had no obligation to answer.
"She went looking for them. Her district partner, Rory, he had just died. She didn't want to carry on." Because I hadn't saved him. This wasn't good. I shouldn't be bringing up old memories if I wanted to get on with my new chapter. I shouldn't be bringing back the pain.
"Was he with you too?" Blaine's whole face had softened – he knew this was hard for me. I bit my lip, emotions bubbling up inside me that were hard to control, and nodded my head.
"After she died…" I suddenly said, the words spilling out of me before I even had time to control them "…After they died, I couldn't cope. My anger, it spiralled out of control. I went looking for them, wanting to kill them, and then…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't tell him about the river boy. Blaine stared at me for a few seconds, waiting for me to continue. Then his face dropped.
"The District 8 boy." A ripple of agony coursed through me. I hung my head, letting out a cry and Blaine rushed over.
"Sam?" He asked, sounding anxious. For a second I couldn't speak – the guilt I had been trying so hard to push away suffocating me. Then it all came out.
"He didn't do anything – he was just there! And his face! You couldn't even see his face!" Blaine took hold of my shoulders, steadying my shaking body. I looked up at him and saw the reflection of a desperate boy in his eyes. "I see him, every night! Looking at me with those gouged out eyes! I can't stop it, when will it stop! MAKE IT STOP!" Tears were beginning to spill out of my eyes – Blaine drew me to him, arms enclosing around my back and hugging me close. I dug my face into his shoulder and sobbed, gripping onto him for dear life, clinging onto that last shred of hope that kept me human and alive.
I awoke confused. Something felt different – my surroundings didn't feel the same – they felt…warm. Stirring I realised it was morning, the sun peeking through the tall trees that surrounded our camp. And that I was curled up in Blaine's lap. Immediately I jolted, the movement disturbing my friend, who had also still been partially asleep. His back was propped up against the huge rock we had camped by and he'd obviously been attempting to keep watch whilst I rested. When our eyes met Blaine smiled. I'd sat up abruptly and now tried to sort my hair out. What on earth would this look like to the cameras?
"Morning." The sound of his voice was still sleepy. I shuffled myself a few inches away, trying to look like I was getting up and then rubbed my hands over my face.
"Sorry." I said.
"For what?" My face felt sore and my body was still a little weary from the exertion last night. I couldn't remember all of it, but I remembered the crippling pain of the grief, and the soft sounds Blaine had whispered into my ear as he stroked my hair and tried to calm me down. I must have been pretty bad.
"I don't know." Rising to my feet, I mumbled something about washing and wandered off to grab my things.