It had been about 20 minutes since Buffy had left and Spike was no calmer. He'd spent about the the last 15 pacing up and down the apartment.
"How long does it take to pick up a bloody pregnancy test?", he muttered to himself. He kept thinking about how he reacted in front of Buffy. He couldn't help but feel bad about sounding so angry at points. He wasn't at all supportive towards her when she was probably more shocked than he was. She was the one dealing with all the shit over the past few weeks not knowing what was causing her mood swings or how to deal with them. Now learning that she might have to take on even more responsibility...
He kicked a chair after overthinking things too much. Then there was the matter of what if she was pregnant? They'd been together a matter of weeks and neither of them had ever thought it possible let alone contemplated or prepared for being parents. Spike recognised Buffy's footsteps along the hall outside. Oh god, what did he do? The way he acted earlier, she wasn't gonna want him anywhere near her when she found out. It seemed like it took a lot longer for her to reach the door than any other time she'd been out. Maybe it was just his perception of time because of the current circumstances. However, the key turned quickly in the lock and she walked in and closed the door even quicker. Buffy carried a small single carrier bag. Spike didn't know whether to apologise to Buffy now or let her be and give her the space she needed.
"Hey", he blurted out without thinking.
She rested against the door, gripping the bag tightly.
"Hey", she replied with a half hearted smile.
"Know you're busy with the test and all but I wanted to apologise for being a total wanker earlier".
She looked to the floor and ignored him for a minute before forcing herself to look him in the eye.
"It's okay. We were both in shock".
"Not an excuse love. Anyway, I'll just let you..".
He pointed to the bag.
"What do you mean? I'm not doing this on my own?", she demanded.
She looked like she'd been slapped in the face.
"Thought you might wanna find out first".
Buffy struggled to find words.
"Why would you say that? This won't be just my child. I won't be the only one involved in it's life. We'll have created this baby together so of course I want us to find out together! How heartless do you think I am? I don't wanna push you out!".
Spike felt even more awful. Nothing he was saying at the moment seemed to make things better.
Buffy walked towards him and squeezed his hand tightly. It was the closest they'd been to being loving in a week.
"I love you and whether this result is positive or negative, that's not gonna change".
She let go before heading towards the bathroom.
"I'll be out a minute"...
Spike's fingers were sore from tapping on the wood of the bed for so long. He was sitting on the edge of the matress, hands supporting his weight as he leant forward, head hanging over the floor. He wasn't sure how long Buffy had been in the bathroom. He thought keeping count would make it feel longer. Within a couple of minutes, Buffy had emerged not taking her eyes off the blue and white stick that she was carrying in her hands. Spike flung his head up as soon as he heard the door creak and took a huge gulp of air. She joined him on the edge of the bed, her hands shaking around the test.
"2 minutes to go", she signed.
Spike made her put down the test and hide it from view so that she wasn't tempted to look too early. He brought her hands to his lap and knotted his fingers with hers.
"For what it's worth, whether it's in a few months or not, you'll make a great mum one day".
Buffy didn't know whether Spike was just saying this because of their current situation but she smiled all the same.
"My main job has been to kill things for the last 9 years, I'm not exactly the perfect role model for a kid".
"No. Maybe not but look how you stepped up to the responsibility of raising Dawn. Even looking after the junior slayers counted. You may not think you're ready but I've gotta feeling it'll come to you naturally".
Buffy smiled again. She never knew, maybe one day she might.
"You think it's time?", he reminded.
Buffy squeezed his hands tighter when she realised it just might be. She reached under the covers from where she'd hidden it. Without looking at it, she passed the test over to him.
"This is one of the smallest things I've ever had to do but I dont think I can do it".
"Buffy, not to scare you or anything pet but this isn't small. This is a huge deal. Something that'll impact the rest of your life".
"I know I'm gonna sound like a complete coward but...can you read it out?". Spike nodded, slightly trembling himself. Buffy looked in the opposite direction as Spike glanced at the result.
"You know how to read it yeah?", she asked, still refusing to look round.
"I may be 100+ years old love but I think I know the difference between a plus and a minus sign", he replied.
Buffy took a series of deep breathes before Spike made another move. She felt him place a hand on her stomach so she slowly turned around towards him. She grabbed his wrist and pulled it towards her so that she had a clear view of the test that he was holding. A pink plus sign stared her in the face. She felt both terror and joy. Panic and relief.
"Guess it's gonna be sooner rather than later then love".
Buffy's sudden burst of laughter soon turned into a combination of tears as well. Her mothering instinct had suddenly kicked in. Spike pulled her into his arms and held her tighter than he had done in nights. She threaded her arms around his torso, spilling salty droplets onto his shirt.
"Don't have to talk about it anymore tonight if you don't want to love. We're both in shock", he whispered into her hair.
"Mm hmm", she mumbled.
Spike, still holding her, gently laid her down. He brought a pillow down from the head of the bed for her. Spike lay on the right side of her, leaning on his elbow to keep upright. Buffy rolled over to her right too and curled up in to Spike. He put his arms further around her frame when she shivered.
"Can you talk to me please?", she asked in her soft voice.
"What about love?".
"Anything. Just wanna hear your voice".
"Ermm. What do ya wanna do tomorrow pet?".
She gently shrugged, her eyes still firmly shut.
"Know it's not too exciting but we gotta go shopping".
Buffy let a muffled laugh escape.
"Never thought I'd say that. Part of me's never gonna get used to settlin' down. Wouldn't change it for the world though".
"Don't we have food left in?", she asked not really taking on board Spike's last comment.
"Yeah...but you're eating for 2 now aren't ya?".
He lifted an arm and gently traced the reachable area of her clothed stomach with his fingers.
"Spike. Can I ask you something?"
"Sure love".
"When you first realised I might be pregnant, what was the first thing that went through your mind?".
Spike thought about it for a moment, starting to stroke Buffy's hair.
"Honestly? Couldn't think. Just remembered feeling...excited in a way". Buffy's face reappeared from Spike's chest.
"Really?".
He leaned forward and kissed her forehead.
"Really"...
For the first time in what had felt like months, Buffy had a perfect night of undisturbed sleep. No nightmares or disturbing memories. She slept for over 12 hours straight, not blinking an eye lid. Spike felt compelled not to shift position all night, worrying that he might wake her. It was about 9am the following morning when she woke. Spike was already awake, watching over her carefully. She tossed and turned for a few seconds before her eyelids fluttered open. She squinted as the daylight blinded her before she could adjust. She was turned away from Spike but she could feel one of his arms straightened out underneath her head. His icy cool skin was a relief from the soaring heat that was trapped in the room. It didn't help that she was still wearing the jumper from yesterday. Oh how quickly the weather changed. Not realising Spike was awake, she lifted herself up and tried to slide off of the bed but she was soon interrupted by Spike's arm around her waist, pulling her back to him. A huge grin spread across her face and she gladly followed his direction.
"Morning", she whispered once she was back in her old position but this time facing him.
His eyes were closed, but a heartwarmingly happy smile was placed on his lips.
"Morning love".
His eyes did open when he felt Buffy's body weight shift to on top of him. She bent her head lower and placed her lips fully on his. There had been small hints of affection here and there over the last week but Buffy being the way she was, the dynamic hadn't exactly been the same between them. He didn't blame her at all but he had missed the way they were before. His left hand moved up from her hips to the small of her back and his right up into her hair. Hers lingered on the sides of his ribcage. Spike removed his hands from both Buffy's hair and waist and his fingers began to trace her back. They curved round to her stomach and pushed up her jumper to gain access to her soft skin. He gently but quickly switched their places so that he was in control now. She arched her neck giving him the perfect angle to lean in. His lips left hers and he began to carefully nip at her neck, being wary of what had happened in the hotel corridor a couple of weeks ago. She gasped as he slowly moved his hands upwards, past her ribs, along her sternum. Suddenly the phone rang, it's high pitch screaming scaring both Buffy and Spike. Sighing, Spike removed his hands, allowing her to horizontally shuffle on her front towards the left side of the bed. The cell lay face down on the floor where it must've fallen last night. She reached down to pick it up and read the caller ID. Of courser it was Giles. He was probably still fretting about last night. She began to shuffle backwards on her elbows, lifting her legs over Spike's. She flipped the phone open.
"Hello?", she chirped.
"Buffy! Thank god! I was trying to contact you all night!".
Buffy felt a sudden wave of guilt wash over her. Spike eyed a patch of uncovered skin on her back and couldn't resist teasing her a little. She tried to hold back a little moan from his touch and kicked him, reminding him to behave.
"Yeah, sorry Giles. It was a bit of night".
There was an awkward pause.
"So...have you found out for sure?", he asked.
Buffy looked a bit lost before it dawned on her what he meant. She'd almost forgotten that he was the one who alerted them of the possibility. "Oh yeah, right...", she began as she got to her feet.
She wandered to the front door before continuing their conversation. Giles was like a father figure to her so of course she was nervous about telling him and how he would react.
"Well, I got a test last night a-and..well..I'm pregnant". Another one of the many long silences of the last couple of days took place then.
"Congratulations", he finally got out.
Buffy smiled and relaxed a little.
"Thank you. It's been a huge shock to all of us but".
She paused and looked at a smiling Spike.
"I think it's what we want".
"I've never said anything before but I think you'll make a wonderful mother Buffy".
That was all she needed to hear.
"Giles, when are you free next? It'd be great to see you again".
"Ah yes, that was another thing I wanted to mention. I'm visiting Xander, Willow and Dawn in the next couple of days. I don't know if you'd be interested in coming over?".
Buffy began to get excited.
"Yes! Definitely!", she cried.
"Perfect. I'll let them know".
"Okay. I'll see you soon Giles".
She quickly hung up the phone and placed it on the main table before running over to Spike like she was a giddy teenager again. She clambered on to Spike again, knocking him down into a lying position again, and showered him with kisses.
"What's..got..you..so..perky..pet?", he mumbled in between kisses.
She stopped kissing him to catch her breath but she didn't move from her position.
"Giles is coming to Greece in a few days. I won't be gone long", she explained as she prepared to get up and start packing but Spike sat up and held her in his lap. She rested her hands on his shoulders as she gave him a confused look.
"You think I'm stayin' here and lettin' you run off across Greece on your own?".
"I thought maybe you weren't done here. Done with Illyria".
Spike held her against him tighter.
"I've got more important things to worry about".
He brushed his hand against her stomach for at least the 4th time in 15 minutes.
"Just when I think it's impossible to love you anymore more". Spike wore a seductive smile.
"Thought you knew I was full of surprises by now"...