Chapter 20

Edward's POV

6 days, 22 hours, 37 minutes, 29 seconds...30...31...32...33...34...

"Edward," called Bella softly from her bed. Turning away from the window, I looked over at my girlfriend questioningly. " What's wrong?"she asked.

"Nothing, love," I replied, " just thinking."

" About what?"she said as she patted the empty seat next to her on the bed as an open invitation. I sighed, " I don't know. Everything and nothing." Lies.

I sat down next to her and she immediately snuggled closer to me. I didn't understand how she could leave the warmth of her bed to snuggled to a piece of ice. Ignoring the protests that were coming from every nerve ending in my body, which were screaming: Not warm enough. Not warm enough. I tried giving Bella my undivided attention.

" Why did you wake up?"

" I was cold," she replied sleepily. "Yet, here she was snuggling against me. The coldest thing in this room," I thought dryly.

"You think he's okay?" she whispered against my arm.

"The mutt?" I asked, forcing the words out of my mouth as my heart lurched at the mention of Jacob.

She nodded.

"Sure," I replied with a fake conviction. A conviction which didn't help the sinking feeling in my heart, didn't help the worry in my head, and most certainly didn't help the guilt gnawing my stomach.

"It's almost been a week," replied Bella softly, " Billy is worried. I'm sure the pack is,too."

"He's a wolf. He can take care of himself," I replied-not sure who I was trying to convince.

Bella nodded slightly.

I tried my best to wrap her in the blanket to keep her warm. It would be odd if she woke up as a popsicle tomorrow with the windows closed. Soon enough, she had fallen back asleep.

That was easy.

6 days, 22 hours, 42 minutes, 7 seconds...8...9...10...

With each passing second, it was as if someone dropped a load on my chest, making my unneeded breaths a Herculean task. He had been gone for 6 days now. The wolves were pissed. My family was disappointed and worried,though they never voiced those emotions to me. But, I picked it up from their thoughts anyway. Except for Rosalie, who made sure I knew how upset she was, how irrational she thought I was being and how foolish it was of me to banish my mate from me.

Everytime, she mentioned it, I wanted to yell, "I never banished Jacob. I would never send him away from me. He made that decision on his own. He took off without thinking how this would affect the people who cared about him." But, I didn't.

I deserved it. He was hurting because of me. I could deal with their disappointment. But, most of all they were all worried about him. Truth be told, I was worried too. I spent the first two days looking for that stubborn mutt. I ran all the way till the end of the province of British Columbia. He was nowhere to be found. I had picked up his scent in the forest near La Push. But, it faded as soon as I crossed the border of Washington to go into British Columbia. I was disappointed and pissed off. At him. How could he just up and leave? He didn't consider how his actions would affect any of...us...

The only person with whom nothing had changed right now was Bella. But,then again this probably had to do with the fact that she had no idea her best friend had imprinted on me, and I had rejected him. I spent the majority of my time with her these days, in hopes of getting some news of Jacob. None of the Cullens mentioned Jacob Black and the wolves loathed me for driving their brother away. Jacob called Billy a couple of times, who in turn relayed the information to Rosalie, who shared with anyone who would listen. I was, however, always the exception to that rule.

"Then, so be it."

Those four words haunted me. Day and night. I hoped he wasn't going to do something stupid, acting on his emotions like he always did.

Besides worrying myself, I spent my days and nights wondering why I cared so much that Jacob wasn't around. At first I just assumed it was the pull of the imprint. But, now I just delegated these feelings to my guilt.

Guilt was definitely one of the main reasons I wanted Jake to come home. It wasn't fair that he had to be separated from his family, his pack, and his friends because of me. That was it-guilt was the only reason I wanted the mutt to be back. Nothing more, except for maybe the fact that it will make everyone else happy to see him.

"What about the anger, Edward?" said the voice in my head as I pointedly ignore it.

I got off the bed to pick up my phone when it started vibrating...

Jacob's POV

I whimpered as I curled myself in a tighter ball. It was freezing. I was in the middle of nowhere, in the North west of Alaska. The icy wind blew around me while I laid on the snow. I was still bleeding from my fight with the local pack of wolves. They thought I was competition and the Alpha attacked me. If it weren't for Edward's voice in my head telling me to surrender, I would never have bared my throat to the Alpha male. Why refrain him from doing what nature was doing at such a glacial pace? He would have gained the respect of his pack while I would have gained the freedom that only death was willing to offer me. But, when the voice of my imprint told me to stop, I did eventually bare my throat to the Alpha, rendering him powerless to kill me. I backed down and he backed off.

I licked my wounds, in hopes that they would seal themselves. My usually fast healing body had slowed down considerably.

I didn't know if this was its way of conserving energy or its way of telling me that the sweet release of death was almost within my grasp.

I felt drowsy. My eyes were closing and before I let sleep overpower me, I scanned the area for any danger. That was when I noticed the sign that read: Kobuk Valley National Park.

I heard water running somewhere close by, but I was too tired to even get myself a drink. So, I just laid there and allowed the darkness to take over.

Author's Note:

Hello everyone,

Thank you for all the amazing reviews! I do apologize for the length of this one-on my laptop, it's all together, so I never noticed the length until I upload them on FF. Notice the changes in Eddie? They're subtle, but they are there nonetheless...

Leave me your comments/notes/etc and we can make this the second last chapter of the year...I can update on Friday afternoon!

Happy New Year *(if you don't get to read the new chapter until after New Year).

Lisa

p.s. British Columbia is the Canadian province right above Washington ( for those who don't know!)