Chapter Twenty-One: And So It Begins
Come morning we had slept little, still held firmly in each other's arms. It had been the perfect night and any morning where I woke up next to him was the perfect start to the day. Though it quickly ended when he realized the time.
"Shit." He said moving off of me and swiftly pulled clothes on.
"What?" I asked sitting up. He turned and looked at me with a smile on his face. Leaning back, letting the sheet fall down, I gave him my best seductive smile. "I'm not done with you yet."
He slowly crawled onto the bed, snaking his arm around me, pulling me against his still bare chest. I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he yanked me from the bed, still holding me against him. "Save it for later. I have to get to the Fear Landscape. The final test is starting like now." He said before kissing me deeply.
"I sure wish you would stay." I said gently taking his bottom lip between my teeth.
He put me down, slapping my ass, "Get dressed."
"Or what?" I asked, stretching my arms above my head as I moved onto my toes.
He rushed me, making me shriek playfully as he threw me over his shoulder, spinning me before launching me onto the bed. Laughing, he threw himself on top of me, gripping my sides and behind my knees, making me squeal and squirm against him.
"Okay! Okay, okay, okay." I said laughing; only stopping when his lips met mine.
For a moment I just looked at him, running my thumbs back and forth across his cheeks. I wanted to tell him I loved him. That I'd always love him. But I didn't want to ruin the moment. He kissed me once more before pulling me back off the bed.
"I have to go." He told me.
Taking his head in my hands, I kissed him again. "I won't be far behind you."
"Alright, baby." He said kissing me once more before pulling on his shirt, smiling at me as he left.
Grinning, biting my lower lip, I pulled on clothes before leaving as well, going to the Parlor to find Tori. It was alive with activity, everyone needing a new tattoo while everyone was drunk. "Hey!" I hollered over the noise.
"Thank god!" She hollered back.
"Where the hell have you been?" Bud shot at me.
"Sorry!" I replied. "Where to first?" He pointed toward a group of waiting people. "Alright then." I said and set to work.
Before I knew it several hours were gone and the party outside the door was just getting stronger. This day was always one that was eagerly awaited and this year wasn't any different. Nor did it disappoint. We had our own bottle we were passing around, though I partook in the bare minimum. I didn't like working under the influence and I didn't think the people I was permanently tattooing liked it much either.
I didn't think anything was amiss until Dauntless soldiers started to filter through the crowd, injecting people. Frowning, I watched, waiting for them to come my way. Sure enough, they came in announcing that it was a tracking serum in case we ever went missing and would only be activated if such a time occurred. Not thinking much of it, I was surprised when Max himself stepped up to me, an evil grin on his face.
"Injecting me yourself? Should I feel honored?" I said with a raised brow.
He just laughed and injected me. I didn't give him the satisfaction of flinching or making any movement at all. The look he was giving me almost made me feel like I should watch my back tonight. I had no idea what he was thinking and the more I thought about it the more I didn't want to know. And the more I thought about it the more I thought he should be watching the final test.
You could hear when the initiates were done; the cries and cheers from our members filled the Pit and the rest of Dauntless. Soon the crowd thinned and I slipped away, wanting to find Eric. I knew there was a couple hours until the banquet started and if I could get him back to my place for the duration I'd be pretty happy. I felt far too restricted in these clothes and far too empty downstairs. Giggling to myself when I spotted him, he was talking to Jeanine and Max. My stomach dropped at the serious expression on his face. Something was happening. No one else was around and I felt like I was too close even from where I was. I couldn't hear anything but still felt like I'd be executed on the spot.
Turning away from them, I was attempting to rush off when I heard my name. A woman's voice. Turning, Jeanine was stepping toward me. "Hello, Penelope."
"Pen." I stated, glancing at Eric.
"Eavesdropping?" Max asked with a raised brow.
"No." I replied swiftly. "I was simply attempting to escape some of the noise."
Jeanine gave me a small smile. "Not fond of the Dauntless party habits?"
"I am." I nodded. "Just not when it comes to Initiation Day. We all get out of hand too easily. I should probably go check in at the Infirmary. It's been over crowded this week."
"I hear you've done well in the Infirmary." Jeanine stated. "As well as a most skilled tattooist."
Furrowing my brows at her, I couldn't help my next question from spilling from my mouth, "Why are you talking about me at all?"
She just smiled and walked away. Max stepped up to me, hovering briefly. He put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it before he followed her. Eric stepped up to me, watching them walk away.
"Everything okay?" I asked him, taking his hand.
"Yeah." He smiled, bringing his hand to my face, kissing me sweetly.
"Can you get away or do you need to follow them?" I asked.
He smiled before leading me down the halls and to my apartment. Going in, I half expected him to take me then and there, but he didn't. He kept my hand and led me to the bed, sitting on the edge of it.
"Are we going to have a serious talk?" I asked. He nodded. "Am I going to get mad at you?" He shrugged and nodded. "Do you have to say it?" He nodded again. Sighing, I stood and went to my side of the bed, lying down. "Come here." I told him. He smiled, crawling up to me, resting his head against my chest. Trailing my fingers up and down his back, I pressed a kiss into his hair. "Okay, tell me what's going on."
"They've once again told me to stay away from you." He stated. I tensed but didn't say anything. "I told them that I wouldn't."
"Eric." I frowned.
His grip on me tightened, "It's okay, Pen. They've accepted it."
"Really?" I frowned starting to rub his back again.
"Yeah."
"Is that what was going to make me mad?" I asked.
"No." He said lifting his head and met my eyes. "I'm going to be vague about something and you're going to get highly annoyed with me."
"Okay." I frowned.
"Something's going to go down and I don't want you to hate me when it's over."
"What's going down? Why would I hate you?" I asked him.
"I can't tell you any more than that."
"Eric." I said moving out from underneath him and standing, pacing next to the bed.
He sat up and moved to the edge of it, sighing as he watched me. "Everything is going to be fine. We just have to wait it out. When it's all over we won't have to keep secrets anymore."
Pacing in front of him, I knew that he was talking about whatever move they were going to make against the Divergent. Against me. Pacing, looking around as I processed the fact that time was up, I felt the need to run. To find Four and Tris and everyone else I knew to be Divergent. We needed to get out of here. Then my eyes met his and I knew that I couldn't. He looked worried and yet was trying to hide it. Poorly. Sighing, I stepped up to him, straddling his lap.
"What does this all mean for you?" I asked him.
"What do you mean?" He replied, his arms moving around me.
Kissing him slowly, I ran my hand across his hair, resting it against his neck. "Are you in any danger?"
"No." He replied softly. "At least I don't think I am." Wrapping my arms around his neck, I hugged him tightly. "I'm gonna be okay."
Pressing a kiss against his neck, I took his head in my hands. "If you're not, I'm going to be very angry with you."
He smiled, kissing me passionately. "Thank you."
Smiling, I shook my head at him, "Stop thanking me."
"I'm so in –" He started before stopping.
"You're so what?" I grinned at him.
"Just kiss me already. We don't have much time before the banquet." He replied. Laughing, I did as I was told, making the most of the short time we had.
When the time came and we had to leave again, Eric held tight to my hand. We walked as far as we could together before he branched off. I knew that he had things he had to do before the time came to make the announcements. He had to meet up with Max and get the final briefing. He should have been there the whole time but he had spent half the time he had with me. Not that I was complaining. Going to the Pit to find Claude and Henry, I found them in the crowd, the congregation was thick as we all waited to see who our new members were.
Covering my ears as a microphone squealed, I looked across the room to see Eric, beaming at the sight of him. He stood on one of the tables with microphone in hand, tapping it with his fingers. After the tapping was done, the crowd of Dauntless grew quiet. Eric looked so hard as he stood there, making me all tingly knowing what he was like when we were alone. Giggling to myself, Claude scared the shit out of me as she bellowed and whooped when she caught sight of Terra. Both looked confident and I truly was surprised – shocked really – that she had made it this far. But I also felt like she was not out of the woods. Just because she had taken her final test, that didn't mean she was in. She could still be cut. I silently prayed that that wasn't the case. Claude needed her and I needed Claude to be Claude otherwise me and everyone else would suffer. An unhappy Claude would be disastrous to the point where I thought she might just make herself factionless just to be with her. The thought turned my stomach and sobered me to the point where I was no longer giddy at the sight of Eric. It wasn't his choice but he was the figurehead. I didn't want Claude hating him simply for being the messenger. Keeping my eyes on her, I didn't look away until Eric cleared this throat. So it begins.
"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite." He told us. Making me raise a brow since that was where he came from and was currently getting his orders from. Though that was just me, the rest of the crowd laughed. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations." At the word "congratulations" the room erupted, not into applause, but into the pounding of fists on tabletops. The three of us louder than those around us, for this was us five years ago. "We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you."
He might have been spewing a lot of crap for our benefit but I knew that he also believed it. A cheesy grin moved across my face again, unable to stop staring at him now. He was mine and even though it wasn't known, I couldn't have been more proud of him.
"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked." Eric called. "The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores—the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the Fear Landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."
As soon as the word "me" leaves his mouth, the initiates' names appear on the screen, which is almost as large as the wall itself. For a second my smile disappeared. I don't know why, but it does. Next to the number one is "Tris".
"What the fuck?" Claude said and looked at me. I shrugged and looked for her in the crowd. She looked pleased, and for some reason I just want to slap her. "How can he like that little shit?"
"I don't know." I replied.
Then we looked at the rest of the rankings.
1. Tris
2. Uriah
3. Lynn
4. Marlene
5. Peter
6. Will
7. Christina
Eight, nine, and ten are Dauntless-born whose names we don't even recognize. Then eleven and twelve are Molly and Drew. Scoffing, I nodded. Then my eyes fell on the last name. Terra. They would all be cut. Looking at Claude, the color had drained from her face and she met my eyes. I opened my mouth to say something but she was already moving. Calling after her, I knew there was no stopping her and I couldn't imagine what was going through her head.
"What are we gonna do?" Henry asked, worry written across his face.
"I don't know." I replied. "Come on."
Moving through the crowd in the direction she had gone, we saw her in the hallway with Terra, arguing with two of our soldiers. Terra was sobbing and gripping onto Claude as if her life depended on it. For all we knew it did. But they would never let her stay. It was done, she was cut. She'd have to pack the few belongings she had and she'd be sent to the Factionless sector. Henry and I looked at each other before moving toward them, breaking into a run as one raised their arm to hit her.
"Hey!" I yelled rushing forward, gripping their arm and forcing them back. "That's enough."
"Get back." The other said shoving me.
"Touch me again and you'll regret it." I threatened. One moved to grip me, only to have me twist his wrist and break his elbow. He cried out, falling to his knees. The other moved toward me, but I'd already gripped the gun he had been carrying and aimed it at him. "You can't say I didn't warn you." I smiled at him. Looking around, I found myself alone. "Seriously?" I said frowning at the fact that I had been abandoned. Sighing, I swung the gun, hitting the second soldier across the face before tossing the gun at their feet. "Stay the hell away from us." I told them before rushing off down the hall. Turning a corner, I saw Henry attempting to avoid Claude's flailing arms. "Hey!" I yelled running forward and pulling her away from him. "What the hell, Claude?!" I yelled at her.
"They can't take her." Claude said stepping in front of Terra protectively. Terra gripped her arm. "They can't take her, Pen."
"You don't have a choice." I shot at her.
"She was going to take her and make a run for it." Henry stated, rubbing his wrist.
"What?" I said frowned at my friend. "That won't solve anything."
Claude got in my face faster than I thought she would, though I remained firm in front of her, not reacting to her sudden proximity. "At least I'll be with her."
"And what are you going to do for her? Be Factionless as well? Abandon your faction and your family?"
"She is my family!" She hollered at me.
"And you're mine!" I hollered back, challenging her proximity. "I'm not going to let you throw everything away for her!"
"I love her!"
Calming, I straightened and took a step back, "I know you do, sweetie. But you can't help her anymore."
"I'm going with her." She told me and stormed off.
"Claude!" I called after her.
"Don't do anything stupid!" Henry called as well. "Claude!"
"Let her go." I told him. "She needs time to think. To process."
"And then what?" Henry frowned.
"And then we be there for her." I replied meeting his eyes. "No matter what decision she makes."
He sighed, wrapping his arm around me. Turning into him, I rested my head against his chest, watching where Claude and Terra had disappeared. Wanting to give her space, we attempted to stay away but that only lasted a few minutes. Going after her, we paced outside her apartment, listening to the fighting that was going on inside. Terra was trying to reason with her. She wanted to be with Claude but by the sound of it she wasn't willing to let Claude make such a big sacrifice for her. Claude fought against her but it sounded like Terra was winning. I was both grateful and depressed about it.
Henry left to get us something to drink, knowing that Claude would want to get wasted when Terra was taken away with the others. They were to pack, say their goodbyes, and be at the train. It was more depressing than I had thought it would be. I had never really cared who stayed and went, but this sucked.
Hearing steps, I thought it was Henry, doing a double-take as Eric stepped up to me. "Hey." I smiled, immediately moving to his side, wrapping my arms around him. "Mm, you feel good." I said as I pressed against him.
"You okay?" He asked.
"Yeah." I told him. "I'm just worried about Claude."
"I actually feel a bit sorry for her myself." He smirked down at me.
Laughing, I looked up at him, smiling wider as his lips met mine. I love you. I thought to him, kissing him deeper.
"We should be celebrating." He told him, pressing his lips against my neck.
Feeling a shiver run down my spine, I smiled as I ran my hands up his arms to his neck, once again finding his lips with mine. "We will, baby. I just have to take care of Claude first."
"Promise?" He smiled.
"Promise." I said kissing him again.
Hearing steps again, we parted, only to see Henry reappear. "I got the…good stuff." He said looking at Eric. "What are you doing here?"
"Came to see Claude." He replied crossing his arms.
"Now's not a time for a pissing contest." I stated, taking the bottle and downing as much as my throat would allow.
Henry did the same. "I wasn't going to start anything."
Eric was next, letting a good portion of the bottle flow down his throat. "Me neither."
"Slow down." I whispered for his ears only. He raised a brow before the door opened and we all looked up at it. Terra froze, looking at us, before she rushed off. Stepping inside, Claude was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her face and eyes were dry but I knew that Terra had ended it. It was written all over her face. "Here." I said handing her the bottle.
"You're not going to ask any questions or lay into me like I did with you and Eric, are you?" She asked before her eyes moved to Eric who was standing next to me. "Hey." He nodded at her.
"We've got your back, friend." Henry told her, dropping roughly onto the bed next to her.
"Thanks." She replied. "But I'd really like to be alone right now."
"Okay." I nodded. "You know where to find us."
She smirked at me. "I'll wait until tomorrow so you and Eric can have your fun."
Laughing lightly, I nodded, looking up at Eric. He winked at me, briefly putting his hand against her shoulder before leaving. "Henry?" I said looking at him.
"I'm gonna hang out for just a little bit longer." He stated.
"No." Claude told him.
"Yes." He said with a hard tone.
"Henry, I swear to god…" She said shaking her head.
"I –" He started before Eric gripped his arm, leading him to the door, and threw him out, closing the door in his face.
Claude laughed, "Thank you." Eric simply nodded at her. "Not much of a talker is he." She stated.
"I think he's nervous." I smirked at her, getting a raised brow from him.
She laughed, getting to her feet and wrapped her arms around me. "Thank you."
"I love you." I told her wholeheartedly.
"I love you too." She replied. "Now go take care of your man."
We both looked at Eric and I swore I could see a blush rise in his cheeks. "I'll see you in the morning." I told her putting the bottle in her hands. "Try and get some sleep." She nodded. "We'll get away to see her as soon as we can." She nodded again. "I love you." She smiled before pushing me toward Eric. "If you need anything, anything at all –"
"Pen!" She said with a smile. "I know. You've got my back. But don't let me ruin your night. Go be with Eric. Let him make you happy."
"Thank you." I said hugging her again.
"You're my best friend." She whispered in my ear. "I love you."
Letting her go, I turned and looked at Eric, he seemed to read my thoughts and I could see his expression deflate. Looking back at Claude I furrowed my brows. "Maybe I should stay with you tonight."
"Are you crazy?" She asked, looking at me with mock shock, her tone playful. "Have you seen that boy who's waiting for you? If you haven't then you need to look again. Penelope Farrier has tamed the mighty Eric and now you want to spend the night with me? I don't think so."
"I'll feel bad if I leave you." I stated.
"Don't." She told me with seriousness. "I'm gonna be okay. And I'll feel better if you're with him and not causing trouble in the Pit." Sighing, I nodded. "Go be happy." She added with a smile, gently brushing my cheek with her thumb.
Smiling, I kissed her cheek before stepping backward until I felt Eric's hand in mine. Looking up at him, his eyes were on Claude. "Thank you." He told her sweetly.
She smiled at him, "Be good to her."
"I will." He replied matter-of-factly, his arm moving around my waist. "I promise you."
Smiling up at him, I wave of passion for him rose up inside of me, feeling it radiate toward him. "Yeah, we gotta go." I told her opening the door.
Eric was leading me, excitement making my heart race, grinning with eagerness for what tonight might bring. Only in the next second we turned down a different hallway that led away from my apartment. Looking up at him, he gave nothing away.
"Um. Baby?" I said hugging his arm to me. "Where are we going?"
"You'll see." He replied.
Furrowing my brows, I let him lead me. When I finally figured out where we were going, for a moment my chest clenched and it took all of me not to cry. He knew me better than I thought he did. Better than I'd ever imagined.
"Thank you." I whispered to him.
"Don't thank me yet." He told me with a raised brow.
Letting go of my hand, he wrapped his arm around me, pulling me tightly against his side. Wrapping my arm around his shoulder, I rested my head against his chest. Slowing, I looked into the initiate dormitory. Terra was the only one there, slowly putting her things in a bag, processing the fact that she had failed initiation and was going to spend the rest of her life Factionless. Feeling tears well in my eyes again, I gripped Eric's jacket, not sure I could go in. Eric turned me toward him, taking my face gently in his hands.
"I'll wait out here." He said kissing me softly.
He tasted amazing.
"Go." He smiled gently pushing me through the doorway.
Slowly stepping forward, I tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to stream from my eyes. This was depressing. If this were me I'd be a complete and total mess. But from where I was standing, she was calm and collected. Her red hair braided on one side, make-up accentuating the features of her young face. I forget sometimes how young we truly are when we make a decision that changes our entire life.
She's being brave and to me she has never looked more Dauntless. She's no longer that small girl who shot me the first day of training. She's no longer timid. She's gained so much strength and to watch her be forced out seemed horribly unfair. If it weren't for Claude, I wouldn't care. But this small thing had stolen the heart of one of our most prominent Dauntless members from the past five years. She was lucky. Just not lucky enough.
"Terra." I said with more air than sound. She looked up at me and for a moment fear filled her eyes. "I'm so sorry." I told her with a small shudder in my breath. "I really wanted you to make it." She nodded. "I am so very sorry."
She relaxed a little, nodding again. "How is she?"
"The same as you if not worse." I replied.
"I'm okay." She told me.
Furrowing my brows I shook my head, "You don't have to be."
"Should I break down and cry and fight the inevitable?" She frowned at me. "Should I let Claude become Factionless with me just to stay together? Should I hide here in Dauntless while she feeds and supports me from the shadows? I don't have a lot of options here, Pen!" She yelled at me.
"I know." I told her softly. "And I wish there was an easy answer. But there isn't. I wish there was a way for you to stay. I wish that Claude could keep you. I wish there was another way."
"I know." She nodded, her hand moving to the necklace around her neck. "But there isn't. So why are you really here?"
"I just wanted to see if you were okay. Okay enough to take the next step." I told her. "And to see if there was anything, anything that you need."
"I need to be a member of Dauntless." She whispered before tears filled her eyes.
Pulling her into a hug, I held her tightly as she sobbed into me, my own tears falling as I attempted to comfort her. But there was no comfort for her. I couldn't imagine what she and Claude were actually feeling. I didn't want to. Just the thought of losing Eric turned my stomach. Knowing that Claude was losing Terra made me just as sick. I wanted to think of some way to make this better. But there wasn't a way to make it better. There was only dealing with it. Accepting it.
"Terra." A soldier said from the door. "It's time."
She let go of me, nodding. "Thank you for coming." She smiled up at me.
"Please take care of yourself." I told her with a smile, wiping the tears from my cheeks.
As soon as she was gone, the tears started again. Wrapping one arm around myself, I rested the elbow of the other on top of it, putting my head in my hand. Crying, I was alone for only a moment before Eric's arms were around me. They didn't last long, Eric's presence more comforting than anything else could have been.
"Sorry. I know you don't like tears." I told him.
"I'll allow them for exactly five more minutes before I leave you to deal with them yourself." He told me but I could hear the humor in his voice.
Laughing, I let him go, letting him help me wipe the tears from my cheeks. "No more tears. I promise."
"Unless sex with me brings it on." He smirked and kissed me deeply.
Melting against him, I met his eyes, putting my hand against his face, "Can we go home now so you can take care of me?"
"I'm pretty sure Claude told you to take care of me." He stated, gripping my ass.
Smiling, I leaned up and took his bottom lip between my teeth, gently pulling on it as my tongue darted across it. "I think I'm okay with that." Sweeping my legs out from underneath me, he held me tightly against him. "What's with the special treatment?" I smiled, gently playing with the hair at the base of his neck. "What if someone sees?"
"Fuck 'em." He said taking my mouth in his, his taste and smell filling me.
"Put me down." I told him.
"Why?" He frowned.
Kissing him again, I smirked at him, "Because we need to run."
Rushing down the halls, I thought the door was going to break as we practically fell through it. Slamming it behind us, our clothes slipped from our bodies and he threw me onto the bed, throwing himself on top of me. Laughing, I took his head in my hands, running my tongue along his lip before taking his mouth in mine. Feeling him hard against me, he reached his hand down, rubbing me until I was dripping with wanting for him. Moving his hand, he pushed up inside of me, making me groan and arch against him. Falling more and more in love with him, everything but him fell away, nothing else mattering except him.
Afterward, he sat looking at my mural. Trailing my fingers back and forth across his back, I couldn't help but smile. He made me feel amazing. The things he could do. The places he found that made me feel things I never thought possible. He moved his hand to my inner thigh, gently running his fingers back and forth across the length of it, making me immediately wet again, ready for another round. Sitting up, I wrapped one arm around his shoulder, the other around his waist, trailing long gentle kisses up the tattoo. Biting his earlobe before sucking it, I pressed a long kiss against his neck. The grip on my thigh tightened and he turned his head, meeting my lips with his. Putting my hand against his face, he rolled on top of me, once again laying me against the pillows.
Kissing me long and deep, his lips moved to my cleavage, sucking the imbedded barbell before licking his way back to my lips. His tongue met mine, brushing against each other as he ran his hand the length of my body. Bringing my knee up to his side, I wrapped my arm around his neck, deepening the kiss until we threatened to melt into each other. Giving me a quick kiss, he buried his face in my neck, his whole weight on top of me. Closing my eyes, I'd never felt happier or safer than I did in this moment. I loved him. More than I've ever loved anything. I never wanted to feel for him. All I wanted was sex only now all I wanted was him. With him everything else fell away. When we were alone it didn't matter who he was or what he had done. I realized that it didn't even matter whether we were alone or not. I was in love with him. Nothing else mattered and nothing would ever make me feel differently about him. I would never turn from him, no matter what he did or what went down. He was stuck with me. For life.
Running my hand across the back of his head, I gently trailed my nails up and down his back, just the way he liked it. His arms were wrapped around me, their grip slowly loosening as he fell asleep against me. Perfectly content, I continued to trail my fingers, placing sweet kisses against his shoulder, neck, and jawline. Feeling his breath against my own, the rise and fall of his chest against mine, his smell and his weight on top of me all lulled me to sleep, never wanting to let him go.
Waking to gentle kisses against the back of my neck and along my shoulder, I found myself wrapped in his arms. He gently played with my hair, putting his chin over my shoulder, pressing a kiss against my cheek. Rolling, I met his blue eyes in the night, smiling at him as I trailed my finger across his lips and cheek.
"I didn't mean to wake you." He told me softly.
"I'm not complaining." I smiled back at him. Putting his hand against my face, he kissed me deeply, pulling me against his chest. His hands moved up and down my back, tenseness in his touch that I hadn't felt before. "Are you okay?" I asked him, wrapping my arm around him comfortingly, my fingers trailing up and down his back.
His brows furrowed and for a moment he just looked at me. Then he finally nodded. "Yeah."
Kissing him, I rested my forehead against his, my hand against his face. "I know you better than that."
"I don't want you to worry." He replied.
"Who said I was worried?" I smiled playfully.
He returned it, kissing me, "I know you better than that." Laughing lightly, I kissed him again. "Go back to sleep." He told me as he placed a kiss against my forehead.
"Will you still be here when I wake up?" I asked him, pressing my face against his chest.
"Always." He whispered so softly that I didn't think I was meant to hear it. "Sleep."
Nestling against his side, I knew that he was still awake. Even the sound of him breathing seemed tense. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not. But now that I fully realized how much I loved him, I didn't want to be apart from him. Despite everything he had done. I could forgive him. I could trust him. I'd do anything for him. Feeling myself tense as I realized all of this, he felt it, his grip tightening around me. Feeling his lips against my forehead, I shut my eyes, moving closer against his side. Running my hand up his chest, I rested it against his neck, running my thumb back and forth against his jaw, waiting for either sleep to take me or for whatever he was worried about to happen.