A/N: Sorry, I know too many author interjections are annoying. I'm sorry if my description of the Citadel DLC is insufficient – I didn't feel like quoting every one of everyone's lines – especially during the action plot. You know this is focused more on the Shenko :P
Kaidan watched helplessly as the bags under Shepard's eyes grew darker, as the blood vessels in her eyes became more and more red, and what little body fat she had seemed to melt away, leaving Shepard just a little bit too thin.
Shepard was hard-pressed to admit that she even felt tired, and Kaidan secretly groaned every time another person asked Shepard to take on their burdens. Shepard was hard-pressed to admit that she even felt tired, and Kaidan secretly groaned every time another person asked Shepard to take on their burdens.
He, like Shepard, wanted to help everyone – every individual life saved or better mattered. He just hated that it all seemed to fall on Shepard's shoulders.
As everything seemed to be coming to a close, the climax drawing nearer, a call came from Admiral Hackett directly to Kaidan.
"Admiral Hackett, sir, I have to say this is a surprise."
"Major, I have to ask you to do a quick assessment for me. You are technically the highest ranking officer aboard the ship, so I feel you can provide a fair assessment. Do you think the Commander is fit enough for this last push?"
Kaidan hesitated.
"May I speak candidly, sir?" he asked.
"Feel free," Hackett said.
"She could do it. She's itching to do it right now. But it's taking its toll on her. She's exhausted."
"That's as I expected. We all are, but I think Shepard and her crew have done more for this war than anyone that possible. I need everyone in top shape before things get to the point of no return, which I feel is coming soon."
"I get that feeling too, sir, but I can't pinpoint exactly why," Kaidan said.
"I'll arrange for the Normandy to be tuned up on the Citadel. Make sure everyone takes the opportunity to get a minute of rest."
"Aye aye, sir," Kaidan said.
"Hackett out," he said, and his hologram disappeared.
The next day, a ship-wide message went out. The message subject was Priority: Shore Leave. It was exactly as he said. Shepard seemed slightly flustered at the idea of taking a break at a time like this, but she had to agree that the Normandy was at least due for an inspection.
Kaidan watched her, amused. He was going to have to work to get her to relax, but he was pretty sure he would manage.
They left the Normandy and most of the crew went their separate ways. Kaidan had some catching up to do on the Citadel, so he left Shepard as she headed to Anderson's apartment, saying goodbye with a swift kiss on the cheek, promising to catch up with her later.
Barely a few hours later, Kaidan was strolling through some shops when he heard a series of giant crashes and gunshots.
Somehow, just somehow, he knew that this had to do with Shepard. He raced to pick up his armor, gun, and radio where he had stored it. Even though Shepard was used to tough situations, he didn't want her to be alone in whatever mess she had managed to find.
He sprinted toward the area from which he had heard the ruckus, and happened to run into Joker limping away from the scene.
Joker filled him on what had happened, repeatedly adding that Shepard had used him as bait. Apparently Shepard and Joker had both received false messages inviting the other to lunch, at which they were interrupted first by a Staff Analyst named Brooks claiming that someone was trying to steal Shepard's identity, and then by a group of mercenaries. And then Shepard, in fine style, had fallen through the fish tank floor to the Wards below.
As Kaidan ran down what seemed to be an infinite number of stairs, hefinally placed the radio in his ear he called, "Shepard, can you hear me? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," she said, "but I need a little backup."
She sounded pretty amused. Kaidan rolled his eyes.
"It's good to hear your voice. Joker told me what happened. I'm on foot, but not far."
A British female voice cut through the radio, sounding annoyed.
"Excuse me, who is this? You're on an unsecured channel and you're putting Commander Shepard in danger."
"I'm what?" Kaidan asked in disbelief, "Who is this?"
Shepard cut in again, telling him that it was Staff Analyst Brooks and instructing everyone to "play nice."
Kaidan again rolled his eyes, weaving his way toward the sky car lot where he was supposed to rendezvous with Shepard.
About a minute later an alarm sounded, followed by more gunshots.
"Shepard, what are you doing? I heard that from here!" he shouted.
"I've got it all under control," Shepard said sarcastically.
Garrus came over the radio, scolding Shepard, matching her sarcasm. Kaidan was again reminded how much he liked the Turian.
As Kaidan finally reached the sky car lot he was met by a couple of the mercenaries. They were clad in all grey, an armor completely unfamiliar to him. He didn't even need to draw his weapon – he simply charged up a strong enough biotic blast and took care of them with ease.
Just as they crashed to the ground a slightly frazzled looking Shepard walked through the door, a strange pistol at the ready.
"Seems like you're having a bad day, Shepard," he said, striding confidently toward her.
"You could say that," she said.
Kaidan chuckled throatily.
They both seemed highly amused with the situation. After Reapers and thresher maws and god knows what else these mercenaries seemed like amateurs.
"Landing pad's over there," he said, gesturing backwards with his thumb, "but it's behind a locked gate."
"Let's look for a control panel," Shepard said, striding past him.
As she walked he noticed just how tight the dress she was wearing was – and the convenient rips that her fight had wrought on the outfit.
It was so rare that he got to see her in a dress, and he watched a bead of sweat roll down her back.
He gulped, looking her up and down. The dress had ridden slightly higher than usual from the run, revealing a fair amount of her creamy, powerful thighs.
"Nice outfit," he said slowly, deciding to share his appreciation with Shepard.
She looked at him, slightly exasperated. He knew she was also slightly embarrassed because she had never really accepted her own beauty. She wasn't lacking for self esteem, she just didn't have to try and didn't particularly care.
Shepard looked at him, deadpan.
"Control panel," he said, "Ah, right…"
He couldn't help teasing Shepard about falling through a fish tank, especially knowing how many poor fish had died under her poor caretaking on the Normandy. Only her beloved hamster seemed resilient enough to survive, but she also seemed far more invested in it than she ever had her fish.
As they encountered more mercenaries unexpectedly, Wrex suddenly flung himself out of a window and on to their shuttle, clearing them out.
He joined them to keep the mercenaries at bay as they awaited the shuttle and afterward joined them at Anderson's apartment (which somehow seemed to have ended up in Shepard's possession).
After their brief discussion of what had just happened, Shepard sprang over to him.
"Nice to see you in action in the car lot. It was uh, pretty hot," Shepard said playfully.
"Why thank you," Kaidan said.
"What would I do without you?" she asked, sighing exaggeratedly.
"You'll never find out," he said, sounding amused, but they both knew how sincerely he meant it.
The plan then developed into infiltrating a fundraising event at a casino. It shouldn't be too difficult – the only two human Spectres could surely be expected to attend such an event every now and then, even if their pay wasn't exactly equal to most of the attendees.
Kaidan again relished the idea of seeing Shepard decked out, and had probably too much fun watching her prepare.
Liara and Tali helped her apply makeup, but all three seemed a little lost. Liara, as an Asari who had spent more of her time buried in books and dig sites than out on the town, and Tali, who obviously had no need for makeup under her mask, were little help.
Kaidan and James watched from a corner of the room, feeding off of each other's comments.
"Ugh, is this really necessary?" Shepard asked, disgusted, "I know we have to dress up, but I don't think anyone's going to notice how much eyeliner I'm wearing."
Liara looked pointedly in Kaidan's direction.
"I think there are some who would relish in seeing the famous Commander Shepard dressed up," the Asari said.
"I think there might be even more who might relish in seeing the famous Commander Shepard undressed," James said, arms crossed. He glanced at Kaidan, hoping to have riled him.
"Well, I think those people, whoever they might be, will just have to keep wishing," Kaidan said.
"So Kaidan, are you up next?" James asked, "I think you'd look pretty fabulous with some mascara. Maybe some nice lipstick. What's your shade? Think they make a Biotic Blush?"
"I'm much more of an eyeshadow man myself," Kaidan retorted, "I'm not sure there's enough makeup around here to cover up that neck tattoo."
"You two take this outside," Tali said, "You're banished from this room."
Kaidan and James shrugged and stepped outside, heading down to crack open a couple beers from the refrigerator.
About twenty minutes later they heard footsteps on the stairs and Shepard came strolling down. Even though she was pouting and seemed slightly unsteady in the high heels she was wearing, Kaidan unwillingly drew in a little breath, which made James chuckle under his breath.
Kaidan felt like a high schooler picking his date up for the prom. They had managed to put Shepard's hair up in a loose, elegant bun at the back of her head, leaving a few strands of her blond hair to hang loose. The makeup highlighted her eyes especially well, drawing out their already vibrant green.
She had obviously had to change in a different dress from earlier, the last one being fairly shredded. The new dress hugged Shepard's curves even more flatteringly, and revealed a surprising amount of cleavage. The scarlet dress had a halter top and a very low back, ending just above lowest part of her back.
His favorite thing, however, was that under it all she still looked like Shepard. When she drew nearer he was amused to see how small she looked even with the tall heels. He still had to look down to meet her eyes.
"Damn, Commander," James said, beating him to the punch, "I gotta say, you fill that out even better than a uniform. Kaidan better watch his back if he's taking you out in public tonight. Though I gotta say, if this is really an issue of someone trying to steal your identity, they might not believe you're the real Commander Shepard."
"Well, at least I know if we run into trouble I can take someone out with these heels," she said, rolling her eyes.
They headed out to the casino and Shepard was even more dismayed to see that they had to stroll down a velvet rope-lined carpet to enter.
"This is ridiculous," she muttered, linking arms with Kaidan. Brooks strolled beside them, looking equally uncomfortable, but without an arm to lean on.
Kaidan smiled and waved at people. He had always been far more camera friendly than her. What she didn't know was that Kaidan wanted as much photographic proof of Shepard dressed up as possible, and as many photos of them together as possible. They had never had much of a chance to take any.
"You're looking radiant, Commander," he said as he waved.
"As in radiant, or as in causing invisible damage?" she asked, her nerves slightly unhinging her sense of humor.
"Why can't it be both? Ow, my heart," Kaidan said, looking sideways at Shepard.
Brooks chattered nervously beside them. Kaidan wasn't sure what to make of the Staff Analyst yet, but he was slightly overwhelmed by her frantic long binges of words.
"Okay, Kaidan, time to meet the riffraff," Shepard said, sighing as they stepped inside.
They talked to various socialites, Shepard doing a poor job of hiding her distaste for these people who were so oblivious to the ongoing war.
Finally Kaidan decided to rescue her from their company, leaning and whispering in her ear, "Follow me."
She jumped at the opportunity but began to backpedal as soon as she saw where he was leading her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her ever so slightly.
"No," she said, "Not the dance floor. You know what happens."
"Come on, Shepard. People are starting to stare. You have to try to fit in."
"This…this is not the way to do that," she said, but she acquiesced.
The dance floor wasn't too crowded, but the electronic music was blaring.
"I'll get you back for this," she told him as she began awkwardly moving her arms and swaying side to side.
"Here, will it make you feel better if I 'do the Shepard' too?" he asked, mimicking her moves.
"Do the Shepard? Is that a thing? Do people really say that?" she demanded, still attempting to dance.
Kaidan laughed heartily, "I'll spare your feelings."
Finally they were instructed to disarm cameras and deactivate alarms, a job that relied more on Kaidan's ability to distract guards than on Shepard's ability to mingle.
Kaidan seemed to be having too much fun doing so. Shepard heard him claiming sheepishly that he had used biotics on the roulette table, that he was from the Varren protection league, pretending to recognize an old school friend with a ridiculous nickname, and even pretending to cry at one point.
Shepard was disgusted to find that the man they had been trying to find was dead. What the hell was going on? They downloaded what data they could from his computer and returned once again to the apartment to figure out where to go next.
Their examination of the data was disrupted by Glyph, who claimed that Shepard's Spectre access codes were being used at that very moment in the Citadel Archives.
The large group headed to the Archives, where they split into three teams, Glyph leading them deeper into the Archives and toward the apparent identity thief. Kaidan and Wrex stayed at her side.
After fighting the initial wave of mercenaries, a familiar voice rang out from ahead of them.
Kaidan was puzzled. Shepard had just been beside him. Sure enough, there she remained. He glanced up and had to keep himself from jumping back.
Another Shepard, this one's face contorted in rage, strolled in.
"What the hell are you?" demanded Shepard.
"A clone – Cerberus created me in case their little project didn't come through."
"If you're really me, then we're on the same team," Shepard said.
"We're not even in the same league," spat the clone.
"Did the Illusive Man send you?" Shepard asked.
"No, he abandoned me when he had what he wanted – you."
"So what's your point in trying to kill us?" Kaidan demanded.
"Because I don't have her memories. I'd never fool my supposed friends, the ones who abandoned their duty to join the cult of Shepard, like you, Major Alenko. I would have picked the other one on Virmire. Ashley something."
"You're just a pale imitation of the real thing!" Kaidan shouted, taking a step closer to his Shepard.
"What's wrong, Major? Am I not spreading my legs fast enough for you?" the clone scoffed.
He felt a rage deep inside of him and heard Wrex make a noise beside him. Somehow Shepard seemed the most unphased by this.
"I am the real thing. Perfected. Want to find out how much, Major?" she asked, stepped toward him, rolling her hips.
Apparently this whole time Shepard had been building up a biotic charge, because as the clone drew closer Shepard suddenly shot forward, then grabbed the clone's shoulders and rode her down onto the ground, drawing up biotic energy in her arm as she raised it for a punch.
However, it seemed her clone had also received Shepard's advanced biotic implant, because she blasted Shepard, Wrex, and Kaidan back with a biotic wave, and by the time they were on their feet again she had disappeared.
Garrus, James, Javik, and Liara all teased Shepard as they were in pursuit, asking which one was the evil twin and wondering which one was the 'other' Shepard.
"I don't wanna talk about it," Shepard sang into the radio.
"So Shepard…" Kaidan began, unable to resist, "if there are two of you…"
"Do not even go there," she said, stopping him with a fierce glare.
As they reached the end of the archives and boarded a platform, a force field appeared around them, trapping them in. Where the hell were the other two teams?
"Cortez! Brooks! Is anyone on this frequency?" Shepard asked into the radio.
The clone strolled in, "The short answer is: they're not."
She crossed her arms, and suddenly Brooks appeared, hair released from its tight ponytail.
"Brooks!" Shepard shouted, "Help us out of here."
"Oh but Shepard," she said, "I don't work for the Alliance."
She strolled up to Shepard's clone and comfortably placed an arm on her shoulder.
The clone and Brooks then revealed their nefarious plan to assume Shepard's life and trap her and her friends in the vaults of the Archives.
Shepard didn't care. She was barely listening. All she knew was that none of that was going to happen. And she was going to kill them.
"The minute – the second I get out of here, I'm going to take your head and mount it in the Normandy's CIC," Shepard hissed at the clone, then turned to Brooks, "Then, I'm going to mount her head next to yours. Then, I'm going to take both your heads and space them out the airlock."
"Count me in!" Kaidan said behind her.
"Good luck with that," the clone said, "I should go."
As she turned to leave, the platform they were on began to move, and Shepard realized what it really was – a storage pod for the Archives. She let out a short "ha" under her breath. If this was her clone's ultimate evil plan, she had overlooked one vital detail.
Shepard sat on the ground and leaned back as the pod followed its tracks. Wrex followed suit but Kaidan began to pace.
Wrex's mind was at ease. If Shepard wasn't worrying, neither would he.
"Refresh my memory," Wrex said lightheartedly, "Didn't we used to win these things? Back in the old days."
Shepard's eyebrows finally furrowed.
"She said, 'I should go.' Do I sound like that?" Shepard asked.
Wrex nodded a large nod, "As long as I've known you, yeah."
Kaidan turned around to look at them incredulously. Neither one looked in his direction and the way they were sitting reminded him of children at recess.
"And now maybe let's turn our attention to the impregnable vault that we've just been sealed in forever," Kaidan suggested.
"No, no," Shepard said, "I'm more confident than she is, more in control. With me it's more like, 'That's all for now.'"
"Spoken like a true Krogan," Wrex said and threw his head back in laughter, "Show 'em who's boss."
"I'm gonna guess we've got an hour of air in here, tops," Kaidan said, glancing around the dimensions of the chamber. He imagined that sharing an airspace with a Krogan might reduce that time greatly…
"Or sometimes, 'I'll talk to you later,' even though, you know what, I never do, but…leave 'em wantin' more. I should – " Shepard was babbling.
Kaidan bent down in front of her, putting his hands on her knees and looking into her face. Had this been the straw that finally broke the camel's back? Had Shepard lost it?
"Shepard, hey, why aren't you more worried about this?" he asked slowly.
"Hmm? Oh. Glyph, you still out there?" she said into her omni-tool.
"Yes, Commander," came the robotic reply.
"Unlock this damn thing and go find the others. No one steals my ship. Not even me," Shepard said, sounding more like herself.
It didn't take long for Glyph to release Shepard and the others. For how grating the little bot could be, it was remarkably efficient. The group found themselves in another race to stop Shepard's clone from making off with the Normandy. Kaidan and EDI accompanied Shepard as Joker piloted them to the docking bay.
Kaidan shifted slightly uncomfortably as he sat in the back seat, remarkably close to the body which had come closer to killing him than anything in his life.
The conscious part of his brain knew that the body was under new ownership – what had tried to kill him was gone. He had even very quickly come to like EDI. Nevertheless, his unconscious had his adrenaline running – the fact that EDI was behaving strangely as the clone fiddled with the Normandy didn't help.
The trio raced aboard the Normandy as Joker went back to get the others, finally encountering both the clone and Brooks in the cargo bay. Considering that the clone was supposedly a match for Shepard in power, the battle was surprisingly short. Shepard finally tackled the clone, sending the both rolling toward the open bay door.
Kaidan's heart leapt again and he sprinted after. Both were clinging to the edge, struggling to climb back aboard.
"Look at you! What makes you so damn special? Why you and not me?" growled the clone.
"Shepard!" Kaidan cried, working with EDI to reel her back in, "We've got you."
He put his arm around Shepard's waist.
"You were wondering what I had that you didn't?" Shepard asked the clone, "Let me help you up."
"What's the point?" the clone growled, then let herself slide the rest of the distance off the door – falling quickly to the city below.
Kaidan felt sick to his stomach. He ran his hand up Shepard's side, reassuring himself that she was there beside him. Even though he know it wasn't really Shepard that had just died, seeing her falling was like living out some of his worst nightmares.
Shepard seemed to be taking it better than he was, and he was unsurprised. He leaned in and pressed his lips against her forehead, tasting the salt of her sweat. His stubble bristled against her skin.
"I'm so glad that's over," Shepard sighed, "and the sad thing is I don't think that's even the strangest thing I've done in my life."
Brooks was quickly taken into custody, along with the ship's remaining mercenary. Finally, the real shore leave was about to begin.