Lulu: yo~ this next chapter was going to originally be about Staples and their prejudice against trolls...then I thought, nah! they kicked out, but not because they're trolls...there's a reason they may never be let back into that Staples again...Enjoy~
NOTICE: IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS WITH THIS FANFICTION, PLEASE DON'T REPORT ME; JUST TELL ME YOUR ISSUES WITH THE PARTICULAR FANFICTION, AND I WILL DO MY BEST TO FIX THEM. I REALLY DON'T LIKE HAVING TO LOSE FANFICTIONS AND REUPLOAD THEM ALL OVER AGAIN. THANK YOU
DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, FOR THAT IS OWNED BY ANDREW HUSSIE. I ALSO NO NOT OWN STAPLES OR BETTY CROCKER. I ONLY OWN MY 4 OCS (none of which are mentioned in this chapter). NO ONE WILL BE CULLED FOR READING THIS CHAPTER (if you're confused, then read). ENJOY
Your name is Sollux Strider, you've barely turned 6 sweeps…and you're pretty sure that you'll never be allowed into Staples ever again. There are many reasons for that last part, and surprisingly none of those reasons actually have to do with your race; as it was probably extremely obvious, you are a troll (be prepared, we're initiating a history lesson here).
Many years ago, trolls came to Earth from their home planet, Alternia, in order to conquer the land as a new place for adult trolls to thrive while their children resided on the main world…except for a few that managed to sneak onto the ships undetected (how they ever got on without being culled is still a mystery to this day). While trying to figure out ways to conquer the humans, which resided on the Earth, the troll children managed to get onto the mainland and be found by a famous explorer, who took them back to his home in Europe.
Immediately, people became fond of the young trolls…and this did not go unnoticed by the adult trolls; in fact, the popularity of those young trolls gave their elders a perfect way to take over the planet. By continuously integrating trolls into human society, they'd eventually take over the Earth in…twenty, maybe forty sweeps tops? Hey, it wasn't the perfect plan, but it was a bit more strategic than just going in with guns blazing…and if there's anything trolls like, its complication (why else did they make the hemospectrum? To make lives more and more complicated).
You had to admit, they were doing a good job in their earlier years; they even created their own companies and used mass propaganda hidden within many forms of social media (newspapers, television, etc) in order to speed up the process of taking the planet over…however, there was a downside to this plan. The appeal of a troll, at the time, was probably the same as the appeal of a puppy or a kitten; sure, they're cute when they're younger, but when they grow older, they don't look as nice…and trolls were a bit worse, since they could actually learn English and talk back to you (plus they had human lifespans, and sometimes they even lived longer than humans; Adopting a troll was kind of like adopting a mix of a pet and a person…and that was certainly not appealing to the humans).
Sometimes, trolls that reached adulthood would merely "disappear" (aka, they'd be picked up by fellow adult trolls, who'd take the troll back to Alternia for training); these trolls were usually high-bloods. Other times, however, trolls weren't as lucky; those trolls, usually low-bloods, would often reach maturity only to find themselves in a pound…spending their last days locked up in cages before being put down…and that wasn't the only flaw of their plan either.
Fortunately for humans, most newborn trolls were often not properly school-fed, causing the once violent race to accept their new purpose as pets to humans. Trolls, though they were perfectly intelligent creatures, hid their potential and became mere animals to their human masters. The situations had changed; instead of taking over the earth, the trolls had been taken over by the humans.
Thankfully for trolls, their enslavement partially came to an end in the time period humans refer to as the "1970s"; during this time, more and more younger humans became aware of troll intelligence and began to encourage it, pushing the issue more and more until they gained the support of their U.S. government (it was one of the more productive things they did during that time period…or so you were told). This movement inspired people to treat trolls more as equals…or, to at least allow them to live as such.
Sometimes trolls would still disappear, sometimes trolls would still be abused or killed or be deemed as "less than human"…but these days, humans were more used to the ideas of aliens living among them as their equals, and trolls had nearly stopped all of their advances in taking down the human race…only nearly though. There were still some large companies owned by trolls who use humans as figureheads for their plots (some humans realize this, which is probably why you can, on occasion, hear Dirk or Roxy complain in a whisper about the "Batterwitch", probably referring to Feferi's ancestor, who was the current head of Betty Crocker Corps…you really shouldn't be reading into that).
Now, the question was, how did a mere pre-teen troll like you find out all this information? The answer is indeed simple; the internet. Seriously, no joke; when you got your first computer two human years ago, you managed to stumble upon a few websites that could only be found my trolls (on occasion, a human might be able to find one, but that person would usually either ignore it, or be eliminated before said human could utter a word to anyone). The websites gave information about the plans they'd been working on for years, and even on some trolls rebelling against them (the names you heard the most often were "The Sufferer" and "The Summoner", though they seemed to be the leaders of two different rebellious groups).
Did you tell anyone about it? no, of course not; from what you could tell, anyone that leaked any information would immediately be culled…and trolls were no exception (somewhere, you had read an article about how the Sufferer had tried to spread news of the takeover as a warning to the humans, and was assassinated before he could utter a single word...you're pretty sure the Summoner is still alive, but even his efforts have been futile so far). You, unlike most trolls, were not stupid; you'd rather keep this information to yourself than get culled for it.
Now, back to what you were saying before you went on a random rant about Alternian history (why did you even do that anyway? maybe that'll give some form of plot to the story...nah; at most, it'll be probably just be background information. Since when has the writer of this fanfiction ever thought of making a plot for this anyway? and for those uncomfortable with you breaking the fourth wall, all you can say is that you. don't. care.); yes, you, Sollux Strider, will probably never be allowed into that particular Staples…at least, not if you're with your friends. It was a massive mistake to bring all of your friends at once to go school shopping, even if it did seem to be more convenient at the time; sure, everyone got what they needed, but at what cost? You grimaced at the memories of Terezi taking out and opening all the crayons, markers, and chalk just so she could smell them…or of Equius accidentally breaking about a dozen calculators with his massive grip…or of Nepeta using all the office chairs as her scratching posts…when you were sitting with Dave on the way home, you remember glancing at each other for a brief moment before deciding that if you were ever allowed back into that Staples, you would never bring your friends there…never again.
Lulu: End~ :3 This was one of the greatest rants I've ever done...and it became a chapter, all by itself! for those of you who wanted background information (aka no one), this was your chapter. if you want to make requests for future chapters, please PM me. If you want to tell me about my progress, please review. Thank you for reading~