Disclaimer: -giggles- I don't own FMA. -realizes she doesn't know why she's giggling...-
Apology: I had this written for a few days, but I completely forgot about it. Oops.
Phase: Goody two shoes or goody-goody. Whichever you prefer.
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Edward woke up for the second time that day. (The first time was to say goodbye to Roy. After doing such, he went back to sleep.)
He stretched and sighed. After running from Hawkeye the other day (reference to badboy phase), his legs were still sore. These rebel phases were just not working. Today, he was doing something different. However, because he was Ed, he needed to take it to the extreme.
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Roy heard a polite knocking on his door.
"Come in." He said, expecting anyone but his lover—yet his lover is what he got.
"Hey, sweetie." Edward said in a light tone (A/N: This polite/light tone is how Ed will be talking the entire time), and walked over to Roy and gave the man a little kiss on the cheek. "What are you up to?"
"Literally nothing." Roy stated, doodling another shape on an important form.
"Oh, I see. Please excuse me." Edward bowed, and walked out of the room.
"Yes, Miss Hawkeye, the Colonel is not doing his paperwork." Roy overheard Ed telling Riza. He gulped.
"Thank you, Edward." Riza replied.
"I'm glad I could be of service."
"ROY, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Riza bellowed, and kicked his office door open. She immediately shot right next to his head. Ed wandered away to let the two settle their dispute.
"EDWARD!" Hughes waved to Ed excitedly. "Look at Elysia! Look, here she is riding her tricycle! Isn't she a cutie?"
Edward actually squealed. "Oh my! She is! Oh, and she's getting so big!"
Hughes was taken aback. No one had ever responded to his photos in such a manner. Apparently, Ed was a sweetie today. Hughes decided not to let it go to waste. The two spent about half an hour squealing over the same ten photos of Elysia ("OH MY GOD, LOOK! A tiny strand came out of her ponytail!"). However, everyone in the nearby break room told them to shut up after that.
"Roy?" Edward knocked and then walked into Roy's office. He found that he walked into a hostile situation. Riza was holding her gun to Roy's head, while the man signed papers as fast as he could. Ed didn't even react—he was used to such a thing. "Roy, darling, I am leaving to pet homeless cats and dogs at a soup kitchen which occasionally collects donations to either sent to Africa to cure AIDS or goes to a cancer research center, okay?"
"What?" Roy and Riza asked together. Riza let her gun slip and Roy stopped signing papers.
"I am going to pet homeless cats and dogs at a soup kitchen which occasionally collects donations to either sent to Africa to cure AIDS or goes to a cancer research center..." Ed repeated. Roy still didn't really understand how those all worked together, but he let it go.
"What time will you be home?"
"Around eight." Edward said.
"Okay. Good luck petting cats to cure AIDS and cancer, or whatever you said." Roy answered, before returning to his paperwork before Riza could notice he stopped.
Edward hardly even made it to the soup kitchen. He kept stopping to help people.
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"DADDY, I WANT A CANDY BAR!" A little kid screamed in the most annoying high-pitched voice possible.
"Son, we don't have money for a candy bar." The father said, and thus, Edward bought a candy bar for the boy.
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"MY CAT IS IN A TREE!" A woman yelled. Edward climbed the tree and got the cat down.
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"MY DOG JUST ROLLED IN MUD!" Edward washed the dog.
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"My lawn needs mowing. Hey, would you like to make a nickel, little boy?" In good charity, Ed let the "little boy" comment slip and mowed the man's lawn.
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"My dad just died!" A girl cried. Edward performed a human transmutation and created a new daddy for her.
...Just kidding on the last one.
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By the time Ed made it to the soup kitchen, all he could do was pet one cat and serve one bowl of soup, and then it was time to leave.
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"Gosh darn it! Being a good citizen is EXHAUSTING." Edward said, while tossing his coat on the couch once he was home.
"That's why it's much better to be a bad person." Roy said, and then leaned in to kiss Ed.
"Prove it." Ed said once the kiss was over.
"Well..." Roy nipped Ed's ear. He then breathed into Ed's ear, "Gosh, this is so naughty. We would be such bad boys if we were to make love. I'd be a pedophile and you'd be a slut."
"Hardly." Ed breathed back into Roy's ear.
Still, he found himself getting excited. Roy did the trick. Screw being a goody-goody—he was happier being a bad boy.
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Extra note, mostly for GreedxEd: -singsongy voice- Roy got laid tonight. Heehee.
Other: Thank you for the reviews, everyone. And for subscribing to be alerted for this. I feel special that a message has just been sent out to 23 people that I posted a new chapter. -grin-