No one was able to stop an arrow after it left its bow, same thing with words, you could never take back a word after it left your lips, and uttered words would make a huge difference, they were weapons that could hurt, spells that were able to bewitch and when they were nice they could be considered as the most valuable act of charity and kindness far more valuable than gold. That was what his mother and his uncle Nate had taught him…and he had seen it with his own eyes how Velanna and her bad temper could be disarmed with the right words.
he had made a mistake that night. He had accused a girl who had never been anything but respectful and loving toward him of something very ugly. And even if she seemed to have forgiven him, he knew that his accusation she would never forget. And it might have changed their relationship forever.
"have you slept well?" Caridin asked the short elf who was tending the garden.
"Yes. Why…why you are asking?" she said without taking her attention from her task.
"because you seem to have been awake before down" he answered with a smile.
"yes, it's the only time I can speak to my plants without people around staring at me like I am insane," she said getting up to look at her fiancé "and I can't sleep well since the Inquisitor and Father are reconciled... they look like newlyweds on their honeymoon" Kalli explained
"Is it a bad thing?" Caridin asked carefully, not wanting to seem suspicious.
"No, at first, no it isn't but when you know the Inquisitor you…I fear the fall after my father gets his hopes and dreams high. She can't be a wife nor a mother, she can only be the Inquisitor and a dalish huntress" Kalli said.
"Aren't you a little bit harsh with…"
"good morning my little love birds!" they both startled and turned around only to see the Warden coming their way with a large smile and her arms open.
Kallian giggled as she took them both in her arms squeezing them as hard as she could.
"Mother, you are up so early," Caridin said trying to weave out of his mother's grasp.
"am I interrupting some sweet talks and love display?" Kallian laughed.
"No…not at…not at all…Warden-Commander" Kalli said with a flushed face.
"Mother!" Caridin who seemed more annoyed than embarrassed said.
"Oh, I still can't believe that my little boy is a man now," Kallian told Kalli, stroking Caridin's cheek and ignoring his glare. "He used to have such chubby cheeks when he was a baby, so heavy, he couldn't fully close his mouth. I couldn't get enough of kissing them" Kallain said pinching her son's cheek and getting an angry groan as response.
"I can tell he was a cute little baby" Kalli smiled.
"Kalli! Don't encourage her!" Caridin shouted
"I can't... I will do all that's in my power to have my future mother-in-law approve of me," Kalli said.
"I already like her!" Kallian laughed hugging them.
"Come on children, let us sit. I didn't have the opportunity to talk with you both those last days"
Kallian sat between her son and his fiancée on the wooden bench, enjoying the calm of the early morning to have a light-hearted conversation with them. Kalli was a nice girl, the Warden concluded…her son made a wise choice, well, maybe not so wise but it was nonetheless a good choice.
"do you know what's going on between the Inquisitor and the Commander?" Caridin suddenly asked
"It seems that they are doing well, why are you asking?"
"Kalli fears that it is a phase and it would leave her father more hurt and bitter…besides I feel that you have something to do with this sudden turnaround situation" Caridin explained.
Kallian looked at Kalli who seemed a little bit embarrassed and surprised that her fiancé had brought up this very private matter.
"I…worry not, girl. From what I have heard the Inquisitor will soon retire from the political activity and is planning to announce it in a dinner she will organize in the few next days." Kallian said.
"that's impossible!" Kalli mumbled.
"when a woman who is truly in love is told that her husband is dying from the after-effects of his past addiction to Lyrium, she is forced to reconsider her priorities" Kallian answered.
Kalli blinked several times, staring at the Warden, before her eyes filled with horror.
"No, calm down it was a lie I told your mother to make her realize that her marriage wasn't over…the commander isn't dying."
"You lied to her?"Caridin asked.
"a little lie that has hurt no one and afterward she has realized that it was a Lie…the only thing I created was a shock that has awakened her and opened her eyes about her true feelings. Convincing her to let go of her dear Inquisition is the commander's achievement." Kallian explained "If you must lie, at least learn how to do it" she whispered to her son.
Kalli raised quickly, with a smile on her face.
"Thank you, my lady" she bowed her head before the Warden.
"Don't thank me, child. Your father did the hard part of the job" Kallian laughed.
"She's a nice girl," Kallian said to her son as they watched Kalli rushing toward her father's office.
"have you seen Adaia? I haven't seen her yesterday" Caridin asked.
"I always keep an eye on her, though I am not the only one to do that. yesterday she has spent all day playing with children in the courtyard and your…and Loghain was watching her from afar the whole time" Kallian laughed "I presume it's all he can do"
"does it please you, mother" Caridin glared at the Warden "does his pain appease you?"
"did you talk to Alvina or to her son?" Kallian said after a moment of heavy silence.
"What? No, I didn't talk to the woman who tried to kill me or to her son" he answered.
"You should. Now you are no longer a boy, and I won't tell you pretty lies anymore. There are many powerful and wealthy people who take pleasure in hurting children, not only in Tevinter, they are everywhere, taking children from orphanages or buying them from slavers or from their own mothers… I have consecrated my life to fight against them and I have discovered many horrific things... from blood rituals to…to orgies implicating many nobles and some kings and queens…"Kallian said
"What are you trying to say, mother?" Caridin's voice was hoarse, he was afraid of this conversation.
"His name never came out and I must confess that I was too coward to investigate more about him but still, Loghain knew the price of a child, he knew what Howe seemed to ignore…he knew that a living child was more valuable than a dead one and he sold them…did you believe he was thinking that the ones who would buy the children he was selling were going to have tea parties with them?" Kallian's eyes were full of hatred and disgust.
Caridin felt his stomach churn. She was right he knew it, yet…yet
"If you are convinced about…this, why did you followed him upstairs the other night?" was he trying to corner her? Maybe…
"Boy," she turned to face him "you want to know what is lurking inside your mother's heart…I will tell you. The Loghain I once loved, the Loghain I wake up in the middle of the night screaming his name exists only inside my head…I fell in love with what my imagination and some of his actions had created…the real man, the real Loghain is a deeply evil immoral man. There is nothing gray about him…hurting children is the very expression of evil and the sign of a dead heart…"
Caridin opened his mouth, but he knew better than to defend him...she had always warned him 'to justify the evil is worse than doing it'
"he is dead and rotting inside, he had been like this for a long time and I have a destiny to fulfill… so would you please stop trying to get us together" Kallian raised up "and if you think that protesting against what Warden Commander Clarel did was a sign of some morality, think about this; Clarel was slicing the throats of old, non-mages wardens…maybe if she was sacrificing children he would have stayed by her side" Kallian chuckled before walking away, leaving Caridin sitting alone in the middle of the deserted garden.
()()()()()()
She still remembered it, this time when her father took her to see a magic show. She understood that this form of magic was allowed because it didn't involve any demonic powers or blood magic…yet, she had been mesmerized by the performance of the woman cut in half… through the eyes of a child she had been amazed, how could a woman stay alive after being cut in two?
Now she could tell how…she had been living like this for so many years, two parts of her ready to tear each other apart. Maybe he was not that evil…his touch didn't seem wicked and his arms were so protecting, said one half…protecting?you are the one who would need protection if the bastard rise in power again, answered the other half… it was part of her daily routine…the doubt and the incertitude…However, for her children, she was sure of one thing, they had to stay away from him.