Hey everyone! It's Kalimar. Welcome to my Endless Ocean let's play!

Or something like that. Doing the intro might actually be the hardest part of the LP. I've got three episodes recorded, now all I need to do is put all the pieces together.

By the way, the person who threw the axe last chapter was supposed to be Flavia, but since I forgot to have her join the troops it was just some unmentioned, nameless feroxi soldier instead. Woops?

I've been holding on to this chapter for a little while. Sorry to make you wait, but I wanted to submit it on the story's two year anniversary! Last year I posted two chapters on the anniversary, so I'll try to do that this year too. I've actually got another chapter already written; it just needs to be looked over by my betas.

Chapter 21: Pandemonium

It was chaos as I rushed towards my goal. I didn't stop to fight, simply dodging whatever came my way and continuing on my course. Once I reached the war monk, I would have some backup to stand and fight. I hoped that was enough, because I was ignoring an awful lot of plegians, and they were probably going to follow me.

"Merra! What are you doing?!" Sumia called after me. She, too, peeled off from the Shepherds fighting their way to the courtyard. With the archers stationed there, it's not as if she could go there anyway.

I glanced back in alarm, remembering that I had passed an archer in my mad dash across the battlefield. Frack, Sumia! Watch where you're going! I skidded to a halt so fast I almost fell on my face. Plegian soldiers began closing in now that I wasn't charging full speed ahead. Not good.

"Sumia watch out!" I warned, trying to locate the archer. I heard her curse, apparently having seen the imminent danger. Finally finding my target, I turned and sprinted towards him, closing the distance before he could finish nocking his arrow. Thank you, adrenaline. I could never run without you.

I'd definitely be feeling this later.

Despite my speed, or perhaps because of it, I was in no way quiet and the archer had already noticed me by the time I took a swing at him. He held up his bow to block the incoming blow. I wish I could say that I cut right through it, but even with my newfound determination I was by no means strong.

I wished this were a dream. Not because I couldn't handle what was happening, but because I was a better fighter in my dreams as long as they weren't nightmares. I could just do a flip and cut this guy vertically in half. Sadly, I couldn't do flips in real life.

I blocked a blow from the archer's bow, almost dropping Hack from the force. Right. Dodge, Merra, don't block. You suck at blocking.

While the archer was preoccupied trying to fend me off Sumia swooped down, skewering him on her lance.

"Nice!" I complimented.

Gosh, I got desensitized to the death of my enemies quick, didn't I?

"Need a lift?" Sumia offered. "It'll be faster than running on the sand."

"Easier too," I agreed. I took her offered hand and pulled myself onto the pegasus right as several weapons converged on where I'd been standing. There was a moment's pause where all I could think was "Oh," as I realized how close I had just gotten to dying. Maybe I had been a little reckless, charging ahead and ignoring so many enemies. Right after I said I'd be careful, too!

"Where to?" Sumia asked once we were out of the weapons' range.

"There," I replied, pointing towards the single monk surrounded by enemies. "He's a healer here to help rescue Emmeryn."

"All on his own?! Naga, he's worse than you!" Hey! I resented that remark.

There was no more time to chat, though, as, with a beat of wings, we had already reached the war monk. Sumia dropped me off before ascending out of range of the plegian soldiers' attacks to throw javelins at them.

"Name?" I enquired, tired of referring to him as "the war monk."

"Libra," he panted.

LIBRA! That's right! I can't believe I forgot! "Well Libra, I'm sorry, but I think I aggroed literally everyone on my way over here."

Libra gave me a funny look at the use of the unfamiliar word, but that's all we had time for before the battle was underway once again. The war monk was a monster with his killer axe (Funny how I could remember his weapon, but not his name.), cleaving through enemies left and right. Good lord, maybe I didn't need to worry so much about getting here quickly!

Right as I thought that he got hit with a spell from a dark mage. It had little effect, but it slowed him down. I intercepted the next blow that came from an enemy swordsman, giving Libra time to recover. He, in turn, chopped a lance in half that had been coming my way. Sumia alternated between throwing javelins when she had a clear shot, and swooping down to attack when she didn't. Heck, at one point she flat-out trampled two soldiers at once! We continued on in this way, working together to take down the numerous enemies I had attracted in my sprint over here.

The fight felt endless, and I was tiring. All my naps did not equate to a good night's sleep, and being in the desert so long without proper rest was devastating. It was amazing I had done as much as I had. Regardless, I pushed on. My weakness was irrelevant. I just had to keep telling myself that and hopefully I'd be okay.

The swordsman I was currently engaged with blocked my next slash, parrying it with such torque that the blade was forced out if my hand. My eyes widened in alarm, and I only had the next instant to jump out of the way of the ensuing attack. I dove towards Hack in a move I hadn't pulled off since my goalie days, grabbing the sword and swinging it in front of me the second I had. And it was a good thing, too—the blade had just barely managed to block the swordman's next strike.

"I got 'im!" Sumia announced, swooping down and taking him out.

"Thanks!" Was all I had time to gasp out, already dodging the next attack, waiting for an opportunity to strike back.

I lost count of how many people came after us. I also lost count of how many people I killed. I didn't want to keep track, but it seemed like an important number to know. Disrespectful to forget.

Finally, we ran out of enemies. The three of us worked to catch our breath, trying to recover a bit before we headed to the courtyard with the others. I glanced around at the bodies practically piled around us.

Oh.

No.

Among the bodies was the assassin who had fled from the castle way back when we recruited Gaius. I felt my stomach flip when I suddenly recalled an enemy this battle who had hesitated. I had used that hesitation to cut him down.

I had wanted to thank him for his mercy back then. Try to recruit him maybe. Instead, I had killed him.

I felt cold.

I knew I was killing people. I knew I was bringing their lives to an end. It was part of war, a necessary evil. But, aside from Cordelia, who had been unintentional and indirect, the people I had been killing were my enemies. They would have killed me or those I cared about. But this assassin? Even now, he had hesitated when engaging me. I had talked to him. I had seen the fear in his eyes. He couldn't be any older than me. And I had killed him.

Libra put a hand on my shoulder, startling me. "The burdens of war are never easy to bear." His eyes were sad as he gazed at the results of our battle. "But remember, we all have a reason to fight."

Right. I looked to where the rest of the Shepherds were making their way to the courtyard, then at Emmeryn perched on the high cliff. I owed it to them for taking me in to help them. Where had my conviction gone? There was a lot riding on this battle, like there always was. I could deal with emotional crap later.

I turned my back on the fallen. I had to move forward.

What would be different, now that Gangrel already had the fire emblem? Would Emmeryn even make her speech, if she didn't have to sacrifice herself for the relic? Ooooh my gods, but the speech was what made the war easier to win! And since Gangrel had the emblem, would we even be returning to Ylisse? Or would we go straight after the Mad King? I couldn't imagine having to finish the war without resting in between. I had messed everything up, hadn't I?

My thoughts were bordering on hysterical, so I reigned in my emotions once again. Whatever happened, standing here would accomplish nothing. I turned my attention from my thoughts back to the rest of the world.

"What next?" Sumia was asking.

"Why are you asking me? I'm no tactician." Didn't she remember I was new at this?

"You're the one who ran over here. Don't you have a plan?"

Ha, no. "It made sense at the time," I shrugged. Sumia was still looking at me expectantly, so I glanced around to see where we were needed. The Shepherds hadn't scattered much this time, all headed for one singular goal: Emmeryn. By this time the mages, Panne and Lissa were already in the courtyard while Chrom and the others were caught up at the entrance. The rest of the battlefield was empty as all the plegians and grimleal were clustered around Chrom's party. Really, there was only one place to go.

"We need to clear the way to the courtyard," I decided. The sooner we could support our rescue team, the better.

"Sounds good!" Sumia took flight, leaving Libra and I to follow on foot.

When we got there it was chaos, even more so than the fight we had just finished. Magic, arrows, even axes were flying every which way. I even saw a few kicks and punches thrown. It was all I could do to dodge everything, let alone attack. I wasn't the only one having trouble; It was so chaotic that friendly fire was a problem. Maribelle was working overtime to keep everyone in fighting condition. Libra got right to work healing as soon as he arrived, getting a relieved smile from the troubadour in response.

I slipped between fighters through the fray, honestly a bit overwhelmed. If I could just get out of the crowd I would fine. Then I could help. As it was, I was worried I was going to accidentally hit a Shepherd if I tried to attack, as I wasn't very accurate with my swings yet.

I somehow emerged from the cluster in one piece, discovering the rescue team in the courtyard. I had crossed the enemy line? Wasn't that a trickster ability? No matter. That might not even apply now that this wasn't a game.

Robin and the others were trying to reason with Gangrel, who was having none of it. Every once in a while a couple of soldiers fighting Chrom's group at the entrance would break off and attack Robin's, only to quickly and efficiently get taken down. They only seemed to provide a minor distraction to the rescue team. Had they already killed all the archers? Or were the archers still hidden? If the latter was true, why? Robin's group had reached the courtyard way earlier than anticipated with their new flying ability, changing everything I remembered about the chapter. It was extremely worrying. I could only hope it was a good change.

Deciding that they had the courtyard handled, I threw myself back into the fray at the entrance, making sure to stay on the edges so I wouldn't be surrounded again. I attacked with wild abandon; my muscles would no longer cooperate with any kind of precision, being far too tired for finesse. I pushed through it. If I couldn't attack with accuracy, then I would just attack everything. Being behind the enemy line, it's not as if any allies were in the way to hit.

I was going to crash soon. Already my body was screaming at me to stop this abuse. But I couldn't. Stopping wasn't an option. And so, with massive effort, I continued.

Gangrel, seeing that he was losing, lost his temper. "If you want something done right," he snarled, stalking up to Emmeryn, "DO IT YOURSELF!" With that, he violently pushed her off the precipice. No speech, no debate.

"NOW!" Robin ordered, and the mages let fly their wind spells at the ground, propelling themselves upward.

"I agree," stated Aversa. She used some kind of dark magic and suddenly risen appeared, all wielding bows. Oh. So that's why the courtyard was empty.

The line of plegians finally broke, freeing up the way for the Shepherds to rush into the courtyard. "The archers!" Chrom directed, "kill the archers!"

Everything happened at once as we flooded through the area. The risen archers, not being the brightest, split their attention between firing at the oncoming Shepherds and the rescue team. Perfect. That was their mistake.

I charged the nearest risen. The mages' lives were riding on our ability to clear the archers. We had to be fast.

I saw Vaike go down from some arrows to the chest and winced. Maribelle was there immediately, healing what damage she could right away while leaving the arrows for when she had more time.

It was a similar story with several Shepherds, but the more arrows we took the fewer were aimed at the mages. We were lucky our healers hadn't taken any yet. They had their hands full healing everyone else, let alone each other.

Panne was a machine, taking out every archer in the vicinity, leaping from archer to archer before they could even take aim. Virion marked each target for her before she'd take it out, giving her quick direction. Sully was guarding Gaius, who had gotten shot as soon as he entered the courtyard, until one of the healers got there. Nowi went down quickly, being too large and slow a target to avoid the arrows. Gregor had taken a hit as well, but was fighting through it anyway. Lissa had taken the reigns of Stahl's horse, as he, too had been taken out of the fight. Lon'qu cut arrow after arrow coming his way, but he could only block so many before he was overwhelmed. Sumia lingered outside the courtyard, not having a death wish. There was no way she'd survive so many archers. That left Frederick, Panne, Chrom, and me taking down the remainder of the risen archers.

Personally, I thought we were doing pretty well. This part of the fight was scripted for us to not even be able to fight, so though we were taking damage we were already doing better than we were supposed to.

I spared a glance up at the mages to see that Robin had actually managed to catch Emmeryn, so far so good.

I turned my attention back to the fight at hand, crashing into the next risen archer. Risen were scary, but at this range, archers were not. I was shoved to the ground as the risen attempted to free itself so it could shoot either me or the mages, but I wouldn't let it. I swept the bow out of its hands with my sword. It attempted to claw at me, but I easily dodged the slow attack, stabbing it in the chest. This was, of course, not enough to kill a risen. I pulled Hack out of the monster with some effort, jumping to the side to avoid another rush of claws. At last, I killed it with a horizontal slash to the neck.

There was a commotion above me, a familiar cry of pain. Robin! I looked up to see him free-falling, arrow through his hand and elwind tome falling out of reach. Emmeryn had been transferred to Ricken, who was struggling to juggle both her and their lifeline, the tome. But I paid them no mind; it was Robin I was worried about.

Miriel redirected herself to Robin's tome, somehow throwing it to him. With the ground fast approaching, he fumbled with it with his uninjured hand. It was all happening too fast; there was no way he could cast the elwind in time.

But then a miracle happened, and somehow he did. In his rush he put too much power into it, sending him back up again.

Emmeryn and Ricken made it to the ground first, and I saw that despite the rescue the exalt had still suffered dire wounds from arrows that had grazed her and a couple that had hit their mark. No. NO! This had to work! I hadn't gone through so much only to change nothing!

Lissa was ready for the rough landing, already taking out her new mend staff and putting it to use. Chrom abandoned his fight and rushed over to his sister as well, blocking her from my sight.

With Frederick and Panne taking care of the final risen in the area, I was free to catch my breath and make sure the others made it down okay.

Only they didn't. Let me clarify: rather Robin didn't. Miriel was fine, but to be frank, I couldn't bring myself to care about her condition in light of Robin's. Panne and Frederick had been just too slow in taking out the remaining risen; the last one had gotten a direct hit on our tactician.

And so Robin fell, and I felt I was seeing the game's original cutscene through Chrom's eyes, helpless to stop the death of a loved one.

"ROBIN!" I felt like I was moving through water trying to get to him in time. It would hurt, more than I already hurt, if I managed to get under him, but the act might save him.

I failed to reach him in time, but refused to give up hope. He hadn't fallen from that high the second time—maybe a story? Two? Three, if they were short floors. Of course, I sucked at reading distances, so I could be completely wrong. But I couldn't let that stop me from trying to save him. If my plan had killed Robin…I couldn't finish the thought.

The sickening crack of him hitting the stone ground of the courtyard would stay with me forever.

I skidded to my knees beside the fallen tactician. "Robin!" Why were there no healers here? Why wasn't anyone helping him? I couldn't bring myself to take my eyes off him to look for them, though. Was he still alive? Was he breathing? He wasn't moving! Oh my gods, Robin, please be alive…

Reason finally emerged through my panic and I checked for his pulse. I tried to ignore the blood starting to pool beneath him, unsuccessfully. There was so much blood. But there was magic in this world. Magic could save him, as long as he had a pulse.

The shaking from my exhaustion, adrenaline, and panic made it nearly impossible to feel for a pulse, but I didn't care. This was my only option.

There! I felt it, weak beneath my fingers, weakening by the second, but there. Okay, okay, a healer. He'd make it with a healer. I finally took my eyes off of him to figure out why no one was here yet, only to see that other Shepherds were in as dire condition as he was; the healers had their hands full.

"If you want something done right, DO IT YOURSELF!" Gangrel's words echoed back to me in my mind. I loathed to take advice from the Mad King, but at this point, if I didn't help Robin, no one would.

I spotted a discarded heal staff with a cracked crystal near the courtyard entrance; It would have to do. I shakily got up and sprinted to the staff, almost running into Lu—Marth on my way, who had just arrived. "Sorry!" I gasped out, not slowing down to apologize properly.

I landed back on my knees at Robin's side. "Please work!" I held the staff over the tactician, willing it to heal his wounds. Putting all my faith into myself and one, cracked, crystal.

The crystal began to glow.

I just about sobbed with relief, too tired to be excited about the new ability. "Thank Naga. Thank you Naga…"

And then the crystal shattered.

I swear, my sanity went with it.

I wasn't loud with my anguish; I never was. I don't think I could be if I wanted to, this time. I was far too exhausted to waste energy on that. Instead I desperately gathered the sharp shards of crystal, heedless to the scores they cut into my hands, and held them over Robin. "Heal!" I wheezed.

I couldn't see through the tears cascading from my eyes. Were the shards glowing? Was Robin healing?

I heard a gasp and footsteps getting closer, before Chrom was there and panicking just as much as I was while Lissa finally joined me in healing the fallen tactician. Some of the healing energy bled over to me as well, closing the cuts on my hands even as my shaking caused the shards to reform them.

I heard Frederick giving the orders for anyone who was able to walk to help carry the wounded. Just in time, too, as I could hear more risen forming. I'd forgotten about Aversa, too caught up in trying to survive her first wave of risen.

I blinked the tears out of my eyes and looked down. Some color had returned to Robin's face, thankfully, but he was still gravely injured.

Chrom got ahold of himself and and took in the new situation. Risen everywhere, his Shepherd's injured, and the Fire Emblem gone. The only good thing was that they had managed to save Emmeryn. It was time to retreat. "Drop the crystals, Merra. It's time to get out of here." He carefully slid his arms under Robin, picking him up to carry him in a way that wouldn't jostle the arrows that we still hadn't gotten to take out.

I didn't want to stop healing Robin, but I got the picture. I let the shards slip through my fingers, wiping my face with the back of my hand. "Right."

The risen advanced on our downtrodden party, and I feared we wouldn't be able to outrun them with so many of us injured. That is, until a new character entered the picture: Phila. "I'll hold them off!" She cried. "Go!"

It was a terrible situation, but no one hesitated. With that guilty decision, we fled the plegian castle.

A/N: I can't believe I spent an entire chapter on one fight. Is that good? Did it get repetitive or mundane? Let me know so I can improve!

Woo! So a lot happened in this chapter. Like, a LOT.

I'm sorry if it seems like I enjoy hurting characters. I don't really? But I've found that I have a flair for the dramatic and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right? There probably won't be quite so severe of injuries from here on out unless logic demands it; up to now everything's been a big learning experience for Merra, but now that she's learning she'll be able to improve. Robin got hurt this time because it was actually foreshadowed in chapter three, and it was the perfect way to tie in the fact that Merra can use heal staves. So if you were to go by game stats, she'd be a trickster, complete with trickster skills. She'd have skipped the thief stage because she doesn't actually know how to pick locks XD

I hadn't planned on killing off the assassin, but I didn't really feel like writing a new OC either. Shrug. I feel kind of bad though. Merra certainly didn't need any more trauma, and it feels like I just wasted an opportunity for a potential reoccurring character. But there's enough going on in this story without needing to add another character, and Merra can grow from this. She probably needed a reminder of what killing someone meant exactly.

Merra's anxiety over what's going to happen next and what will be different stem from the fact that I, as the writer, will have to come up with that. There's a lot of stuff that's changing now and I'm not sure exactly all the implications. Not to mention that when I looked over the game script things happened a bit differently than I remembered. I forgot that Emmeryn dies AFTER you finish the chapter. For some reason I thought it happened in the middle.

Despite the confusion and uncertainty, I HAVE been planning this scene for some time. Ever since Merra's first nightmare I think? So it's cool to finally see it written.

By the time I finished writing this chapter I was emotionally exhausted. I'll count that as a good thing?