YAY! An update!
In case you couldn't tell, I've had a bit more time to write, these last couple of days, but that'll all change tomorrow, since I'm going back home. -_- Don't worry though! Once October is over, I'll have a lot more time on my hands, and what better way to spend it...? :)
Enjoy!

Chapter 21

Worry

Fili

Fili held his breath as he and Kili made their way downstairs. He was about to reveal a huge secret that had weighed on his conscience for years, and at the end of the day, nobody was going to be happy. The anger and upset that would be unleashed couldn't even be imagined, so Fili focused his energy instead on not throwing up.

"Fili? Kili? I thought you two were going to bed," Thorin spoke. He was sitting in his chair in the lounge, as per usual, and looked up at the from a book he was reading.

"Can you please go get Bilbo?" Fili asked, trying to keep the quiver out of his voice. "I need to speak to you both."

"About what?"

"Just get him."

Thorin lifted an eyebrow at his son, but stood from his chair and went to get the other man. Meanwhile, Kili laid a comforting hand on the blonde's shoulder, rubbing at the tense muscles, attempting to calm him.

"Fee, it's going to be fine. What's the worst that could happen?"

Fili turned to look at the brunette, and for a long time he simply stared at him. There was honestly no answer to his question. He didn't know what would happen; he just knew it wasn't going to be good.

"Bilbo and Thorin are going to be so upset," he finally spoke, his normally calm voice breaking. "And let's not even think about Tauriel and Legolas. Those two pose an entire problem on their own, especially Tauriel. She is going to be so mad."

"Who cares?" Kili gave him a small smile, chocolate eyes brightening just a smidgen. "This isn't about their happiness; it's about yours."

"I don't like making people unhappy."

The younger boy's face fell into a sad frown, and he pulled Fili to him, wrapping his arms tightly around the upset blonde. "I know. But you don't make people unhappy. It's the bad things that happen to you that make people unhappy. It's because we all care so much about you and don't want you to get hurt. Ever."

The sound of someone clearing their throat broke the two apart, and the younger boys looked up to see Thorin and Bilbo in the entryway.

"You wanted to speak to us?" Bilbo questioned.

Fili nodded and sat down in his own chair, motioning for the other three to do the same. "You really should sit down. What I have to say isn't pleasant."

"Is this about you leaving home?" Bilbo squeaked worriedly. Fili had to suppress an extreme eye roll and tried to speak calmly when he replied.

"No. But that would actually be a good idea, probably."

"No." Kili shook his head, giving the blonde a dark look, and tears started to well up in Bilbo's eyes. Thorin sat, looking between the three of them, utter confusion on his face. This wasn't going at all how Fili had planned it.

"Okay," he spoke firmly, reeling everyones attention in. "This isn't about me leaving home, so there's no need to worry about it. Just.. let me explain."

Fili paused, taking a few deep breaths. Retelling what had happened was not easy for him. It was a memory he'd rather forget about. Talking about it brought back bad feelings, and it sure as hell didn't help that Bilbo was already practically in tears. He knew it would be ugly, and he wasn't ready. But then again, he never would be.

"Bilbo," he finally spoke, turning to look at the small man. "Do you remember the night I was going to Tauriel's, back when I used to take the bus, and I lost my phone at the bus stop?"

"Of course. I was worried sick, because you weren't answering your phone. I finally had to phone Tauriel to get ahold of you."

"Right," Fili sighed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose. "That's not exactly what happened."

Just as Fili had predicted, the conversation had not gone well. Between the tears, the arguing and the bad memories, the blonde felt like his head might explode, which would've been just as well, since it would've gotten him out of this mess. He would've taken a hospital bed any day over the situation he was currently in.

Now Fili sat in his usual chair, staring at the fire, clutching a small glass of vodka in his hand. Moments before, he had stood face to face with Thorin, all but screaming at him, trying to make the older man understand why he hadn't told them, but he simply hadn't listened. Eventually Bilbo had come in with the alcohol and handed it to Fili, before pushing him back down into the chair.

The silence that hung over them now was eery. Kili and Bilbo had been mostly quiet through the whole affair, although Bilbo had been quite hysterical, but the quiet they were currently facing was intense. It was nearly as bad as the yelling had been, and Fili didn't know what to do or say, so he focused on the alcohol in his hand, which was slowly doing it's job of calming him down.

"Fili."

The blonde's head jerked up to look at Bilbo, who sat across from him, and was giving him the most pitiful look he'd ever witnessed. The older man's curls were a mess, his face was blotchy and wet from crying, and the sadness that was in his eyes was one Fili had never seen. It held all the love in the world but was entirely heartbreaking. The younger boy almost couldn't reply.

"What?" he mumbled.

"You know we're not mad at you, right?" he sniffled, wiping under his eyes. "We could never be mad at you for something like this. We just worry about you."

"I know." He did know. It was exactly the reason why he hadn't told them. He hated that they worried so much, even though they technically had every reason to. He didn't like seeing them so upset.

"But you should've told us."

"I know."

There was another brief silence, and Fili took the moment to glance over at Kili, who was giving him a small smile. He'd been firm with the blonde about this subject, urging him on throughout his re-telling of the story, but he had been anything but unkind.

"Well, it's in the past," Bilbo finally continued. "So, now all we can do is move forward and prevent anything like this from ever happening again. Right, Thorin?"

Thorin mumbled his agreement. He still looked rather red in the face though, and Fili thought that he might just keep away from him for the next couple of days. He knew the older man wasn't actually mad at him, just like Bilbo had said, but Thorin had a temper that Fili didn't want to mess with. It was better to let him cool off.

"And there's not much we can do about it tonight," the smaller man continued, glancing between the three of them. "I think it's best we do a full sweep of the house - make sure all the doors and windows are locked, and that the security system is working - and then we can all sleep on it. I'm sure we'll be able to think far more clearly in the morning."

"I'll talk to Dwalin tomorrow too," Thorin said, as he stood from his chair and stretched like a large cat.

Fili had only met Dwalin's brother, Balin, a couple of times, but he knew that he worked in the sheriffs office, downtown. He assumed this was why Thorin wanted to speak to his friend, but Fili didn't want to ask for clarification, so he simply nodded his head and followed Kili upstairs to do a sweep of all the bathrooms and bedrooms.

Between the four of them, they were able to do a complete check within about ten minutes. Thorin had accidentally set the alarm off while checking the security system, but at least they knew that it worked, and it was also good that they didn't have any close neighbors.

They regrouped in the foyer, to say goodnight, and then Fili and Kili headed upstairs once more. Fili gripped onto Kili's hand, and when the brunette tried to pull away from him, to head to his own room, the older boy just gripped his hand tighter.

"Fee?"

"Stay with me again." Fili gave the younger boy a pleading look, eyebrows drawn together. "Please? I don't want to be alone. I have so many bad memories swimming through my head, and I'm afraid of what will happen if I'm left alone with them." He choked on the last few words, breaking down into frightened sobs. The pain inside of him had welled up so quickly, and he didn't know how to respond.

"Shh, shh…" Kili hushed him, drawing him in for a tight hug.

Fili rested his head on Kili's chest, breathing heavily. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he cried, shaking his head, roughing up patches of his curly, blonde hair. "There's something wrong with me, and I don't know how to fix it."

Kili's sighed, rubbing a hand up and down the shorter boy's back. "There's nothing wrong with you, Fili. Let's go to bed. You'll feel better in the morning. I promise."

The blonde pulled away, nodding and wiping at his nose, trying to avoid making eye contact with the brunette.

"Hey." Kili reached out and gently cupped Fili's cheek, directing his head to look at him. The blue of his eyes looked much deeper underneath the unshed tears that lingered, like the clearest, cerulean pools. "It's okay."

Fili nodded again, this time a little more calmly, and the two made their way to his bedroom, barely taking the time to strip down to their boxers before climbing into bed. There was still a light rain pattering outside, and Kili found it rather calming, unlike the thunder storms.

"Considering how things have been these last couple of days, I might as well move in to your room permanently," Kili joked, pulling Fili's smaller body closer to his, tangling their legs together. "I don't even have much stuff."

"I'd like that," Fili replied. The seriousness and emotion behind it made Kili's breath hitch. "I mean… if you actually want to. If you were only kidding…"

"No," Kili responded quickly, cutting Fili off before he could say any more ridiculous things. "I would love that. I love you, Fee. And we are going to get through this. Together."

The blonde didn't respond, but let out a sigh and left a lingering kiss on Kili's bare shoulder.

Yes!
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Thank you guys so much for reading.
Until next time.