Day 175

The pain in her side spiked through her in a searing flash every time she breathed too deeply. The only position that was bearable for her was to recline back in the big easy chair that one of the guys had dragged up to the room for her. Lauren and Ginny had pulled it front of the widow for her, so at least she had a view. She could look down and watch Daryl. He had not come up to see her, but she could see him. When he wasn't out on a run or clearing the walkers off the walls he sat in his usual place near the firepit.

She wished he would come up and talk to her. Even if it was just to say hello. But it was better this way. If she stayed away from him, she could keep him safe. Beth closed her eyes. She thought about the dream she had that morning. Daryl had been sitting on the side of her bed, stroking her hair back from her face. Then he lifted up her shirt and ran the backs of his knuckles across the multicolored pattern of bruises on her ribs. His hand moved down, resting lightly on her hip. The tip of his finger tucked just under the lace trim on her cotton panties. Leaning down, he had kissed her on the corner of her mouth. The dream had seemed so real, she had rolled onto her back and reached for him. But when her eyes fluttered open, he was gone.

She leaned back in the chair, pulling the blanket on her lap up so it covered her all the way up to her neck. Flexing her feet, she moved her knees up and down, rubbing her thighs together. She felt the wet throbbing between her legs. It was a familiar feeling to her now, and she knew it just meant she was aroused. Despite the fact that she wasn't having relations with the man she wished she was having them with, she had still gotten used to having some kind of sexual release a lot more often than once a week.

Neegan had not laid one finger on her since her ribs got hurt. And to her surprise, Beth found herself missing him a little. Or at least missing what he did to her. She bit at her lip then, watching Daryl out the window and feeling more than just a little guilty. Even if she didn't love Neegan, at least she had someone to warm her bed at night, which was more than Daryl had. She wondered if he ever got lonely. Her hand slid down her stomach, moving to rub herself through the thin damp cotton of her panties. Maybe he thought about her, the same way she was thinking about him.

She thought about the hard muscles of Daryl's chest, the way the tensed up the few times she had run her hand over them. Lower than that, he had been hard. She had felt it against her through the rough fabric of his pants. He had been hard as a rock. She had not seen his dick, but since she knew what one looked now, it was easy to imagine it. Thick and long and hard, maybe with a bit of salty bitter fluid dripping from the tip. She slipped her finger under her panties, wincing a little as she adjusted her body to get in a more comfortable position. Rubbing gently at first, she tried to get a feel for what she was doing.

Back before the turn, she had not had much interest in boys. She had certainly never tried touching herself before. It always made her happy and sad at the same time, thinking about her old self. She had been a real prude, that was for sure. But she had also been innocent and hopeful. Love had sounded like a fairy tale to her back then.

Beth thought about her dream again. This time when she turned to reach for Daryl, he was there. He kissed down her side and over her hips, breathing hot air onto her through her cotton panties. Then he ripped them off, burying his face between her legs. A small sigh escaped her lips as she slid her finger inside herself. Her opening was warm and slick with fluid, and she found the feel of it aroused her more.

A flood of different images passed through her mind until she found the one that appealed most to her at the moment. Now her finger was the hard length of him. She was riding him, rocking her hips slowly in a circular motion. His hands were on her breasts, his rough thumbs rubbing over her nipples. Maybe instead of lying down, he was sitting up, so she could kiss him. She moved faster, sliding her finger in deeper and harder until she felt her release wash over her. To her shock, it felt just as good as it did when she was having actual sex. Maybe even better since now she could just take a nap and not have to wait for the other person to finish up.

Beth wiped her fingers off on the blanket she was covered up with, a little satisfied smirk on her face. She looked down from the window, spotting Daryl. He was sitting by the firepit, making new bolts for his crossbow. Was it as good for you as it was for me, she thought with a giggle. Then there was a light knock on the bedroom door before it was opened.

"Am I interrupting something?," Harlan asked. He could see Beth's face looked a little flushed. But maybe she was just warm.

"No," she said, flashing him a smile despite the obvious pain she was in, "come in." Harlan took a little orange pill bottle out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"Got you a few more pain pills," he said, "crack them at half and try to take them only at night when you need to sleep." She nodded. Beth wasn't much of a pill popper, she only took the pills if the pain was more than she could stand. Harlan rolled the blanket down and lifted the side of her shirt up, being careful not to expose more of her body than he needed to. He poked gently at her side, making her suck in her breath a few times.

"They are healing up nice," he told her. He paused like he wanted to say something else. "Good thing since you will be leaving soon." Beth looked over at him, her big blue eyes getting bigger.

"Leaving?," she asked. He nodded. Then he shook his head like he didn't want to say anything else. "I can't leave this room," she added, "no one tells me anything. Will you please tell me what's going on?" He looked down, picking at a string on his pants that he suddenly found fascinating. "Harlan," Beth said, "please..." Harlan got up. He checked the hall and then clicked the door shut. Then crouched down next to Beth and took her hand.

"Greg and his people don't want Neegan around here anymore. I heard Greg and Neegan made some kind of deal. I don't know the details. But I know people are saying they are glad he will be gone soon." Beth nodded.

"Thank you," she told Harlan. She guessed if Neegan hadn't told her, it was because he didn't want her to know. "Don't worry, I will play like I don't know anything." Harlan nodded. She could tell he still had something more he was holding back.

"What if you didn't leave with Neegan's group," he asked her. Beth looked confused. "Your dad was a vet. You know more about medicine than anyone else here. I could train you, teach you even more. You could work at my doctor's office with me, like a nurse." Harlan squeezed her hand. Beth took his hand in both of hers and thought about his offer. She knew it came with no strings and only the best of intentions. Harlan was not after her body. The thought of being a nurse was alluring to her. She felt most at home when she was taking care of people. If her dad was here, she knew what he would tell her to do. But her gaze returned to the man outside the window.

"Is anyone else staying?," she asked. When she turned back to Harlan, his big brown eyes were filled with tears. Taking his glasses off, he wiped them on his shirt carefully. They were already half broke from when Neegan punched him. Then he shook his head.

"No. Not even my brother."