Okay folks this is the second part of Chapter 20, Cowboys the bedroom scene is for you! Just a note about Russia and the spy stuff…I understand some of your concerns but I am not going to lose the plot and make it all about that. I just wanted to explore the dangerous criminal aspect of Kate's character further that's all.
This is the end of Part 1 of the story, Part 2 is already well on it's way but I have to revise some of the things I had happening in it. I will keep y'all hopefully intrigued for a few chapters in Part 2 but our protagonists will get their happy ending, eventually. To quote from my favorite show; "why go for the kill when you can go for the pain." I did put this story under Angst, Action and Adventure as well as Romance!
I would like to pimp a fellow fanfic writer that I just rediscovered; name is Bofbanoff and is currently writing a story called Collapse. I just read the first two chapters and it is absolutely amazing stuff. Check it out if you get a chance.
Well here goes nothing, please RnR as usual. Feel free to vent if you must but be patient, I have a plan! Lots of Love – Dulcedecorumest xx
Chapter 20 - Part Deux
Before Kate could say anything Sgt. Austen hugged Kate tightly to him; "I take it from your face and the screeching tires, you told him about going to Russia?"
Kate felt herself waver at the contact, then as if the universe wanted to remind her to remain wary of him; Sgt. Austen pulled away from Kate and pinched her cheek affectionately.
"Don't worry about him Katie, you don't need him, you've got me."
Kate bristled and pulling away she led the way to the elevator her skinny jeans flattering her pregnancy curves while the white linen embroidered kaftan hid the bump from view. A number of male and envious female heads turned to watch her progress as she got in the elevator and Sgt. Austen felt a long dormant feeling of pride swell in his chest as he noticed these reactions. Kate leaned against the back wall of the elevator and crossing her arms, waited for Sgt. Austen to get in.
Sgt. Austen pressed the button to shut the doors and they ascended to the top floor in silence. Outside the front door, Sgt. Austen squeezed Kate's arm as a gesture of support and comfort. Kate shook it off and as soon as she unlocked the door she headed for the kitchen.
Pulling open a drawer, Kate found a hair tie and gathering the mass of auburn curls that hung down her back and shoulders, she tied a messy knot at the nape of her neck. Her new tattoo was visible and Sgt. Austen's eyebrows rocketed up in surprise. He set the hamper he had brought with its bottle of expensive champagne sticking out; on the floor by the breakfast nook.
Kate turned around to glare at him then walking to the refrigerator she poured herself a tall glass of water.
"What do you want Daddy?" Kate asked in a neutral voice. Her eyes glinting with an emotion Sgt. Austen could not define. Disarmed by her question, he remained standing by the breakfast nook a few feet away from the hamper.
Sgt. Austen smiled at her nervously, "Is it so wrong to want to spend some quality time with my little girl?"
Kate didn't blink; swallowing the rest of the water in a long gulp she clutched the glass tightly against her chest and said, "Before she goes off to what will probably be her unnatural death."
Sgt. Austen blinked in confusion, a frown marring his brow.
"You know… you wanted to spend some quality time with your little girl before she goes off to what will probably be her unnatural death. You forgot the last part." Kate said in that strange neutral voice.
Sgt. Austen felt a cold chill race down his body as he looked into Kate's arctic green eyes, something about her voice and her eyes was making the hair's on the back of his neck stand up. She was looking at him like a cold-blooded killer, not his sweet eager to please little girl.
"I just didn't want to bring it up, being the eve of battle and all. There's no time for emotions, you've got to be strong soldier." Sgt. Austen replied addressing her as he would one of the troops.
Kate's eyes flickered with another emotion Sgt. Austen couldn't define, "I just told the man I loved that I am going back to Russia to try and negotiate terms for a mercenary ex-KGB Russian warlord while I'm pregnant with his baby… because if I don't he'll kill my Dad who's never really been there for me and who from most people's point of view I don't owe a single thing. I think I got strong covered but thanks for the pep talk anyway."
She was still leaning against the fridge staring at the Sgt. with that odd look on her face and quite frankly the Sgt. was more than a little scared. He'd never seen this side of her even though he'd known it existed. She hadn't gotten the Solzhenesky assignment at the tender age of 19 for her looks.
"I'm sorry Katie, of course you have it covered. I forget you're not a little girl anymore." Sgt. Austen apologized his face contrite.
Kate turned around and poured herself some more water, she knew she was being rude by not offering the Sgt. any or offering him a seat but she did not give a damn.
"I know you're hurting Katie, but he'll come around, and if he doesn't then you're better off without him. I wouldn't expect a man like him to understand what it means to be part of a family, and the love and sacrifice that is required to keep them going." Sgt. Austen crossed the space and was now standing next to Kate his hand on her shoulder as he tried to console her.
Kate closed her eyes against the pain in her heart, for a second she thought she was going to have another panic attack but the feeling passed. In that brief moment where she'd sagged slightly against the Sgt, he took it to mean he was getting through to her.
Rubbing her forehead in a repetitive motion, Kate dragged her hand down her face and pushing away from the Sgt. turned to face him. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears and she looked like the vulnerable little girl she once was.
"When I went in to the Agency a few days ago, they gave me a breakdown of Ivan's activities in the last few years, a contact number for when Ivan is either dead or in custody, a pair of heat resistant boots and a half hour of marksman practice. I'm not going to have any kind of support from them am I?" Kate asked Sgt. Austen in a way that showed she already knew the answer to the question.
Sgt. Austen's face was troubled, "The whole Ivan thing is kind of a mess, they don't want to get too involved, and when you go to Russia you'll be on your own."
Kate mused at how no matter what expression his face or his voice conveyed, his eyes never seemed to warm from that cold, pale blue. She could honestly admit to herself she had never noticed that before.
Nodding as everything all started to make sense in her head, Kate asked, "What did Ivan give you $6 million for, Daddy?"
Sgt. Austen didn't bat an eye, answering the question in a normal voice, "An act of good faith, he said it was your money that you never took with you when you worked for him."
Kate frowned in puzzlement, "So why did he give it to you and not me?"
Sgt. Austen shrugged, "I'm not quite sure Katie, maybe because he couldn't contact you yet as the approval for you to act as negotiator and your acquiescence hadn't gone through."
Kate nodded then continued, "I still don't understand why you didn't tell me about it, I mean it is my money, right?"
Sgt. Austen drew himself up and looked at Kate disapprovingly, "Are you implying that I meant to deprive you of that money, Katie?"
Kate shook her head and leaning forward pecked him on the cheek, "No of course not Daddy. It's just James said something that made me think that maybe you were and I don't want to believe that you… the only family I have left, would do something like that."
Sgt. Austen's face darkened to a crimson red, "That no-good piece of swamp shit, how dare he suggest that me, your father would do something like that. From what I've read in his file; that would be more up his alley!"
As he ranted, Kate watched him with very perceptive eyes, she noticed that his ears were a bright red and his left eye was twitching slightly. Kate also noticed the way he was fidgeting so subtly that the untrained eye would not pick up on it. But thanks to Sam Austen, Kate's eyes were trained, and she silently made note of every little nuance.
Travis, James and Rita entered the apartment as Sgt. Austen worked himself into a lather denouncing James and listing his various crimes during his stint as Sawyer. The trio proceeded into the living room on silent feet. And they watched as Kate whose back was turned to them stood there in what could best be described as a nonchalant pose.
Sgt. Austen was too angry to see the three very interested faces watching his tirade and gasping from the exertion of finally venting out his rage he pulled a stool from under the nook and sat down. Leaning forward in his seat he reached for Kate's hands so he could hold them in his own.
"I know you Katie, you'll get the job done, and I'm not worried about that at all… When you get back I think its best you come and stay with me, with family… it's what you've always wanted and I realize now that it's something we should have done earlier… better late than never, I say."
Rita gasped in shock, Travis tensed but remained silent and James swore colorfully in reaction to this statement; Sgt. Austen glanced up from around Kate and noticed the trio for the first time.
Kate didn't hear or see how James or Rita reactions because Sgt. Austen's statement triggered a reaction in Kate that no one had ever seen and lived to tell the story of. Moving abruptly, Kate flung Sgt. Austen's hands away from her and pacing towards the cupboards she stopped abruptly and turned to fix molten hate-filled emerald eyes on him that threatened to incinerate him where he sat.
"You're about ten years too late to sell that to me. How can you sit there and talk about love and sacrifice and a father's love?" Kate spat the words out like tiny poisoned tacks. As she spoke she moved back towards the Sgt. her hands on her hips she leaned forward so she could look the Sgt. in the eyes as she spoke.
Travis reading the explosiveness of the situation tried to discreetly pull Rita away with him as he left the living room. Rita wasn't having any of it as she shrugged him off and continued to watch with undisguised relish.
"Answer me! How can you? You hypocritical, coward. When Wayne broke my arm and put Mom in the hospital you did nothing! Nothing! Is that what fatherly love is, huh?" Kate jabbed the Sgt. in the chest repetitively with her forefinger as she spoke.
Sgt. Austen raised his hands in a placatory gesture, "Katie, calm down, please, this can't be good for the baby."
As if it was possible this riled Kate even more, Jamie stood in the living room, mesmerized by Kate's incandescent fury. He didn't need to see her face to know that her eyebrows rocketed so far up her brow they almost disappeared in her hairline before descending again in an angry scowl that put any of James' own to shame.
"Baby! Baby? What would you know about my baby? A week ago you didn't seem too concerned about it because your welfare was too important… you selfish prick. Let me tell you something Sam Austen, I may not know how to love without screwing it up but you…you don't have any concept of love, or courage or sacrifice or suffering. Do you have any idea how many times I prayed for you to save me from Wayne, from the waking nightmare that was my childhood? Do you? When he first came to my room and tried to force himself on me, do you know who I prayed for?" Kate's voice had gone from incredulous to pure rage.
Travis hefted Rita up at this point and carried her struggling and protesting, out to the balcony where she couldn't hear the things being said. It wasn't a moment too soon because Kate threw the glass she'd still been holding against the wall, and it shattered into a million pieces showering both Kate and the Sgt.
Kate shook of the shards with feline grace as she continued to stalk her prey. Sgt. Austen shuffled his stool away half in fear half in attempt to distance himself so he could regain control of the conversation but his efforts were in vain.
"Stay right where you are, you piece of shit or I'll put you down like the dog that you are!" Kate ordered her voice quavering under the sheer force of her rage. She planted her foot on one of the rungs in the stool effectively stopping the Sgt.'s retreat. Leaning forward so that her face was a mere hand span from his, she continued.
"I prayed for you. I prayed for you! To come and help me, to fight Wayne off for me because he was so much bigger than me… but you didn't… When I told you what had happened do you remember what you told me?" Kate shrieked at him.
James was slightly concerned on what effect this entire tirade was having on the babies but he did not know of any way to stop this nor did he want to. It was about time Kate stood up to the main living perpetrator of her unhappy childhood!
"I d- don't remember." Sgt. Austen stammered fearfully shaking his head pathetically.
Kate pulled out a stool and sat down facing the Sgt. then pushing her face within inches of his she replied calmly, "You told me to be strong, be a good little girl and go back to Mom because she needed me."
Sgt. Austen's face paled at this. Kate nodded her face and her body language radiating hostility.
"Yes that's right, Daddy. You told me to go back and be a good little girl… I put my love, trust and life in your hands and you treated it all with indifference." Kate said matter of factly.
"And then because in some crazy way you felt like you were being a good father, you sold me to the government. I didn't have a chance did I? It's not like we were related by blood or anything… so you freely used my love and trust in you against me. You signed me up for a life of blood and hate in the name of family. You used my childhood which you had a hand in, as an excuse, a method of exploitation and you fed me to the wolves."
Sgt. Austen looked positively gray at this point much to James' never-ending satisfaction.
Kate's voice was hoarse from yelling, swallowing to soothe her throat she rasped, "Do you want to know why I killed Wayne?" Kate's vengeance was almost beautiful in its intensity. Her words and eyes were cutting down the older man more effectively than a chainsaw in a forest.
Sgt. Austen sat there shaking like a rabbit caught in the headlights; he was too frightened and emotionally weakened by Kate's vitriol to refuse.
"I killed him, because I couldn't bring myself to kill you. Because when I found out that he was my biological father, somewhere deep down the penny finally dropped."
Sgt. Austen shook his head vehemently not wanting to hear the rest of what Kate had to say, but she wasn't finished. When he turned away from her and brought his hands to his ears to block out her words; Kate ruthlessly pulled them back down and forced him to listen to what she had to say.
"You always made me feel like no matter how hard I tried I wasn't good enough for you to disrupt your life over. I wasn't worthy of your love that's why I had to stay with Wayne, but I felt better knowing that your blood flowed in my veins and that no matter how flawed Mom was I had some good in me… I had hope. Practically pimping me to the Agency and then to Ivan… the things I know you know I did just to make you proud… took that hope away from me and I wanted to kill you, because I couldn't excuse your actions. That kind of cruelty I expected from Wayne, but not you, never you Daddy." Kate paused to study Sgt. Austen's face as her words sunk in with a detached interest. Still gripping the Sgt's hands she swallowed in another attempt to soothe her hoarse throat then relinquishing her hold she clasped her hands in her lap.
"You told me after I did it, that you didn't have murder in your heart but I get it now… it's because you don't have one. You're incapable of love Sam, you don't know how. That's why Mom cheated on you. The love of someone like Wayne was a better alternative to you." Kate sounded like she'd been enlightened and was wearily passing the information on to a reluctant devotee.
"Katie that's not fair, I tried to take you with me but your mother wouldn't let me." Sgt. Austen protested weakly as tears slid down his face.
Kate's eyes had changed from fiery to flinty; coldly she pulled out a napkin from the drawer in the nook and handed it to him.
"I don't have a father, I never did. This is the last thing I will ever do for you, but I want one thing to be clear. You're dead to me, just as dead as Wayne and Mom are back in Iowa. When you leave this apartment, you no longer have a daughter and Sam if you think I'm bluffing or that this is just hormones… try me. And I'll show you just how good a deal you gave Ivan and the Agency."
Sgt. Austen's fear was palpable and James had to admit to himself that the tone of Kate's voice as she spoke these last few words raised the hairs on the back of his neck. It reminded him of how she'd told him if she wanted his spot on the raft she'd get it. Except this time he knew she wasn't bluffing.
Rising from her stool Kate's eyes met James for the first time since they'd fought in the car. She'd been aware of his presence for a while now, but the need to finally tell Sgt. Austen how she felt had been more important than James seeing her at her most vulnerable and her most ruthless. Looking away she strode out of the kitchen and went to her room, leaving James and the emotionally distraught Sgt. in the kitchen.
"I'll show you out." James offered as he hefted the empty hamper with its now sweating, unopened bottle of champagne; he handed it to the shell-shocked Sgt. Austen who'd risen on shaky legs.
Sgt. Austen looked out onto the balcony where Rita and Travis, were watching him with avid interest. Unsteadily he tried to pull himself together as James called out impatiently from the doorway.
"Come on Sarge! I ain't got all day."
Squaring his shoulders Sgt. Austen glanced around the room one last time his eyes falling on the last spot he'd seen Kate before she'd disappeared down the hallway to her bedroom; before he walked out of the apartment and Kate's life for good.
James walked into the bedroom, he was prepared to see Kate in a teary mess but what greeted him instead bewildered. Kate was sitting at the dressing table, wiping the ruined makeup off her face. Her face could have been made out of marble it was so pale and white in contrast to the foundation she'd wiped off.
She didn't even turn to look at him when he entered and it was only when he sat down on the bed behind her; that she met his eyes in the reflection. James felt his heart break a little at the look in her eyes. It was as if the tearful Kate from earlier on in the car was still hovering in the shadows but the cold-blooded murdering Kate was most definitely in charge. Methodically, Kate wiped the mascara and eyeshadow off her eyes, she still held James' gaze in the mirror but did nothing else to acknowledge his presence. James sat there somehow held in her thrall and unable to command his throat or his limbs to move. It always amazed him how they could be so alike but so different; fire and ice, James reacted with anger and Kate reacted with icy calculated control.
Kate done removing her makeup moisturized her hands with the fragrant Bodyshop Vanilla body lotion she used. James' nostrils quivered imperceptibly as the scent tantalized his senses. Somehow she made such a simple, innocent fragrance so much more and James knew for the rest of his life he would associate it with her.
Kate rose gracefully from the stool and went into the walk-in closet; she came back a few minutes later with a small suitcase. James felt like he was going to throw up as he watched her calmly pack the clothes Travis had bought for her in New York, then she added James' sweats which were now hers. Kate went back into the walk-in closet and added some of the new clothes she'd bought in Beverly Hills. Then packing her sneakers, Kate shut the case and closed it. The sound of the zipper closing was so ominous and full of meaning that both of them flinched inwardly. Kate set her jaw stubbornly as she hefted the suitcase back into the walk-in closet and came back into the room.
"Was that your way of tellin' me you're still goin'?" James asked in a sarcastic voice that broke the tense silence between them.
Kate met his eyes and held them, wordlessly answering his question. James nodded his head in understanding and then reached out for her hand, pulling her closer. Kate didn't resist, she let herself be pulled down onto the bed next to him. Her heart was hammering a staccato faster than any drum-beat Kate had ever heard and she was sure that James could hear it from where he sat.
James' right hand was inter-linked with Kate's left; they both stared at their clasped hands as if they had never seen them before. After a long expectant silence, James finally spoke.
"There's nothin' I can say to convince you that you're just a mere mortal like me an' everybody else?" James asked in a half-teasing tone.
Kate forcefully held back the tears that were bursting to fall; she shook her head slowly.
"Not even if I told you 'bout the two big-breasted porn stars I know; Candy an' Starla, that live in LA an' told me to look 'em up whenever I'm feelin' lonely?" James smirked as he said this, remembering a very interesting week he'd spent with them. Wincing in pain he rubbed his ribs after Kate elbowed him hard but she still shook her head. James half-smiled at this.
"I ever tell you how goddamn stubborn you are?"
Kate nodded slowly, asking herself how many times a heart could break in a day.
James tugged at her hand, which made Kate look up and meet his sapphire- blue eyes; they were glowing with a fierce fire Kate had never seen before.
"Put it to good use an' stay alive or you an' me are gonna have ourselves a Texas Throwdown." James growled gruffly as he slid a piece of paper into Kate's palm.
Kate looked down into her hand and then carefully hiding it in between her fingers she rose from the bed.
"Where you goin'?" James called out.
Kate didn't bother to turn around, "To get my makeup case."
She pushed the door into the bathroom open and opened the drawer in the cabinet underneath the sink as she pretended to look for her makeup. Furtively unfolding the sheet of paper, Kate quickly and incredulously read then re-read the words scrawled on it.
They've bugged the apartment and we don't know how much they can see and hear
Underneath your tattoo there's a tracking device
It won't come up on any technology so you'll be safe from detection
It takes 2 weeks to activate and is powered by the electrical impulses in your body
Guess you're gonna have to stay alive one way or the other
You run, I con right? Match made in Hell but we'll make it work
Kate sucked in an outraged breath at this incursion upon her body, how could he have implanted something in her neck without telling her! He'd tricked her into that tattoo wager! Smug bastard! As Kate angrily thought about James' deceit she pulled out her toner and spilt it in the makeup case. Getting up hurriedly she cussed under her breath as she pulled out the soaking contents of her makeup case and dumped some of the items in the sink. As she did this, she accidentally poured her open tube of liquid eyeliner on the note and the fountain pen ink ran with that of the eyeliner. Kate cursed again louder this time and scooping out the inky, mushy mess threw it in the toilet and flushed the paper away. Kate watched with satisfaction as the pressure of the toilet water disintegrated the paper into small pulpy bits before they were sucked away.
Turning back to the items in the sink, Kate laid some of them out and threw out the mascara and eyeliner tube. Shrugging as if suddenly arriving at the decision, Kate took the entire contents of the bag and threw them in the trash. It wasn't like she was going to need them where she was going. Kate washed her hands thoroughly under the faucet and wiping her hands on her jeans; she marched back into the bedroom where James waited. Kate opened her mouth to give him a piece of her mind but stopped when she saw the wretched expression in James' eyes when he took her hand in his and guided her to sit next to him on the bed.
Kate was powerless to stop the tears from falling now and they spilled gleefully down her bare face. James let go of her hand and pulled her into his arms, inhaling the scent of her hair and Kate.
Kate buried her face into James' neck and inhaled the scent of his cologne and that musk that was just him. She held onto him tightly and they didn't need to exchange any words, the rapid sound of their heartbeats and the dampness in both their eyes said it all.
The door banged open as Rita marched into the room unannounced; Kate turned to see who it was and seeing the little girl's stormy face she felt her heartbreak for what felt like the hundredth time that day.
Rita had her hands on her hips and she was about to say something but seeing both Kate and her beloved JL in tears she rushed into their arms and held onto both of them tightly with her little arms. Kate was almost hysterical now, clinging onto the little girl and rocking her back and forth she bawled her eyes out. James watched the two, his eyes were dry now and he looked up to meet Travis' distressed hazel eyes.
Rising from the bed he left the two most important women in his life as they held each other and cried. Just as James and Travis were about to retreat, Kate stopped crying and wiping her eyes she called out, "Travis!"
Travis stopped and looked at Kate; she smiled at him tremulously and said, "Can… Is your plane still here? In LA?"
Travis frowned but he nodded, Kate's smile grew wider, "Do you think you could fly us out somewhere?"
James tried to keep the hopeful look off his face when Kate uttered those words but he couldn't hide it and neither could Rita who was staring at Kate intently. Travis nodded, not sure he would be able to speak as Kate's sudden request made him hope that she was giving up this foolhardy mission.
Kate got off the bed and taking Rita's hand she walked up to the two men who were standing in the way.
"Well? Let's go!" Kate urged, laughing at their dumbstruck expressions. Suddenly, James and Travis were galvanized into action and moving from the doorway, Travis picked his cell phone to contact the pilot as they headed for the front door.
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They got onto the plane and Kate looked around the luxurious little plane with naked admiration and awe. It could seat 20 people and it had a bathroom, mini-bar and a few beds, "Wow, Travis, Rita was right $6,000 was a drop in the pond for you."
Rita gave Kate an I told-you-so-look that made everyone laugh, as they all took their seats, the captain called Travis asking where they were headed. Three faces turned to look at Kate expectantly; Kate suddenly nervous studied the plane's plush carpeting before her eyes met James'.
"Iowa." James answered for her, the pieces all falling into place. His voice was sad as he said the word. Kate's eyes widened in surprise at just how well he knew her, and James gave her a rueful smirk before turning his attention to a bewildered Rita.
"Iowa? Why would we leave LA to go there?" Rita asked in a baffled voice.
Travis rewarded Kate with a disappointed look before he told the captain their destination. Kate watched as James explained to Rita that Iowa was Kate's home State. The little girl sensitive to the adults' mood realized that this wasn't a good thing and subdued she took her seat between James and Travis studying Kate suspiciously from underneath her long black lashes.
Kate didn't say anything and her face didn't betray what she was thinking, pre-occupied as she was with the figure she saw running towards the plane. The man looked familiar. Before she could make a move to warn anyone else, Sergei Bierko boarded the plane, wearing a charcoal grey suit and a pink silk shirt.
"Sorry I'm late." He apologized to everyone before moving forward to introduce himself as Kate stood there dumbstruck. The three adults did not fail to notice the gun he had strapped underneath his suit jacket.
James looked at Kate's face then at the attractive well-dressed albeit effeminate Russian shook his hand and then Travis' before kissing Rita's hand gallantly. Rita's pixie face scrunched up at the gesture but she did smile slightly. Kate sank into the seat nearest to her as she watched Sergei move toward her and sit down, buckling his seat-belt he turned to look at Kate, his eyes were mocking.
"Dearest cousin, you forgot to tell them I was coming didn't you?" Sergei teased subtly.
Kate managed to find a smile somewhere and smacked her forehead in pretend self-recrimination. James and Travis watched them with interest while Rita swung her little legs, obviously bored by this pointless conversation already.
The Captain paged Travis asking if they were ready to go, Travis looking at Kate and Sergei nodded to himself before answering the pilot with a curt yes. James' eyes were fixed on the pair too and he did not like what he saw. James could read Kate like a book and he knew she was scared but also angry and he couldn't tell which emotion was stronger right now.
Sergei shrugged a little then fixing his intelligent eyes on James he cocked an eyebrow at the blue steel that threatened to incinerate him on the spot.
"Cousin, he's fierce!" Sergei positively cooed making a tiger claw movement with his hand.
James' eyes widened as he realized the Russian's blatant sexual orientation.
Sergei winked at James appreciatively, "Don't worry Cowboy, I like them darker."
As if to emphasize his point Sergei's eyes moved to Travis, who stared at Sergei blankly as if he didn't understand the Russian's innuendo.
Sergei turned to look at Kate then lowering his voice to a stage whisper he turned back to Travis, "Last time we crossed paths you were a little unimpressed with my excellent blood diamond selling skills."
Kate didn't really pay attention to this revelation as she couldn't help but laugh at the way James was sizing up Sergei. More than a little homophobic like most men; Kate knew that the verdict was already in and it did not look good for Sergei.
Sergei chuckled with Kate and said, "Don't worry Jimmy, by the time we get back I'll be fighting you off me."
Rita was studying the Russian man now, more than a little intrigued by his flamboyant gestures and his sunny disposition. Sergei caught her doe gaze and smiling brightly he said, "Now you young lady, you are what we say in my country, trakaya krasivaya, milaya moya!"
Rita wrinkled her nose, "What does that mean?"
Sergei drew back as if shocked to the very core, "You don't speak Russian?"
Rita shook her head, "No, I don't."
Sergei took the little girl's hands into his, "Well that is something we'll have to fix! As soon as I get a drink, what's a man got to do to get some service in here?" He turned around looking for the unusual looking flight attendant he'd spotted when he boarded the plane. A young man dressed in jeans, a t-shirt and a tie appeared, he looked no older than 22 but he had a gun holster.
Holding out a tray with various drinks including champagne flutes, Sergei picked up two and winking at Rita pretended to give her one. Rita giggled at the glower that Travis and James sent Sergei's way.
Taking the flute back Sergei rolled his eyes at the two men and said, "I don't know what the big deal is, my parents were giving me vodka since before I could walk."
"An' look how you turned out, Comrade." James commented drily.
Kate took the two non-alcoholic drinks on the tray which were the only ones garnished with paper umbrellas; a virgin Margherita for both her and Rita, handing Rita her drink Kate met James eyes over Rita's head. Both of them wore unreadable expressions.
Sergei kept the second flute in his hand and winking at Rita he said, "Saves time… so what shall we do about your glaring lack of education of the Mother tongue, hmm?"
Rita giggled, "How 'bout you start with tellin' me what you said before?"
Sergei unbuckled his seat belt and offering Rita his hand he said to her, "I said you are beautiful, my sweet! Why don't we start the lesson far away from these sourpusses?"
To everyone's surprise, Rita handed James her drink and after she unbuckled her seatbelt she took Sergei's hand with her left and plucking her drink from James' hand she led the way to the more comfortable area of the plane. The two of them sat down and started talking almost immediately.
Kate turned to look at James and Travis who were equally shocked, Rita never warmed to strangers!
James smirked at Kate, "Cousin huh?"
Kate's smile didn't reach her eyes as she replied, "Something like that."
Travis was silent, he was watching the Russian man and the wheels in his head were turning furiously as he tried to think of a way to use his history with Sergei to an advantage.
3.5 Hours Later
James studied Kate's tense profile, they had barely spoken on the plane as the two of them especially Kate had listened to Rita's Russian lessons. With every word the little girl delightedly learned, Kate had withdrawn further into herself, paling whiter than a ghost.
When they landed, Kate had directed them to the cemetery which they were just pulling up to now. James had known when Kate had confirmed they were going to Iowa that they would be headed here. He could see that Kate was determined to finally confront all her skeletons at once, as if she wouldn't have the guts to do it later, or maybe she didn't think she'd still be alive. James shuddered at the thought, knowing he would do anything and everything in his power to prevent that from happening.
The car rolled to a stop, and Kate unbuckled her seatbelt almost instantaneously; her fingers fumbled for the door handle and her sweaty fingers latching onto it she practically stumbled out of the car. James turned the ignition off and climbed out of the car, followed by Travis, Sergei and Rita. Nobody spoke as Kate strode into the cemetery determinedly; fiercely clutching the flowers she held in her right hand and close to her chest.
James followed close behind her as his heart ached for the personal torture she was putting herself through. Finally Kate stopped walking, she didn't think she would have recognized the place but she did. Sgt. Austen had told her that they'd buried her mother next to Wayne and although she'd never gone to his grave somehow, she'd known where to go.
She stared at the tombstone, her heart was hammering a staccato beat all of its own and Kate could already feel the back of her throat closing as the tears rose unbidden to her eyes. Kate could feel James' eyes on her as he stood behind her, at a respectable distance. Sighing Kate sank to her knees by the graveside, putting the flowers down on the tombstone that read, "Wayne Ryan beloved husband and his loving wife, taken from us much too soon."
A single tear slid down her cheek, "Mommy, its Kate."
James felt her hoarse voice tug at his heart strings; she looked so fragile and lost as she leaned her head against the tombstone. Trying to stem the flow of tears that coursed freely down her face, she rested her head on her left arm and bringing her right hand up to cover her face she cried.
"I'm sorry Mommy, I'm so sorry! I've really made a mess of things." Her voice was small and childlike as she cried. Kate cried for her mother, for the child she'd been; that had grown up way too fast, for the cruel twist of fate that had made an ignorant lecherous Wayne her father, for the lost little girl in her that had needed so badly to be loved that she'd embroiled herself in a situation that might bring about her untimely demise and most of all for the real love and family she finally realized she'd found too late.
"I-I've found someone who loves me Mommy, really loves me… And I love him too… and we're going to have babies." Kate smiled through her tears at this; she knew how much her mother had hurt for Kate after the marriage fiasco with Tom.
"But I'm going to Russia first…" Kate wiped her face with the back of her hand and stared at the damp earth beneath her knees.
"I'm scared Mommy, because this time there's so much to come back for, my dreams are finally so close to becoming real."
Kate sighed as she felt a fresh wave of sorrow threaten to drown her, changing the subject she pasted a smile on her face, "Anyway, I brought you flowers. Your favorite, pink roses with baby's breath… and daisies, they're for Wayne. I remembered that he always liked daisies." Kate took a ragged breath and holding onto the corner of the tombstone, rose to her feet. Turning towards James who was a few yards away she held out her hand.
James walked up to her and took her hand, turning back to the grave Kate said, "Mom, Wayne, this is James." Although she'd finally made her peace with Wayne being her father, Kate couldn't quite bring herself to recognize him as that.
James had to admit he was a little freaked out by the whole thing but considering he'd gone to Catalina's grave after they got back from the Island and done something similar he decided not to judge too harshly.
Kate held James' hand with both of hers as she curled in towards him, "James these are my parents." She detached her left hand from his and gestured at the grave, James didn't know what she expected from him so he just stared at the tombstone, feeling uncomfortable and inexplicably nervous, as if he really was meeting the parents. Kate leaned forward still holding onto James and placed her left hand on the tombstone and whispered, "Forgive me."
Then she turned around and led them back out of the cemetery and towards the car where Travis, Rita and Sergei waited patiently. The sun had set while they were there and along with the dark a slight chill permeated the air.
They climbed back into the car silently and drove back to the plane, on the outskirts of the main street, Kate pointed out the diner her Mom used to work at. James' eyes nearly popped out of his skull as he realized that he'd been to that diner many a time in his past. But he didn't say anything and they continued the journey back in relative silence as Patsy Cline crooned poignantly on the stereo.
10 PM LA Time
Kate sighed with exhaustion as James held the door for her and Rita to get in the apartment. Sergei had hailed a cab and disappeared without really saying goodbye to anyone except for Rita and Travis had asked to be dropped off outside his hotel. Plopping down on the couch she kicked her black ballet pumps off and wriggled her toes. Rita didn't follow suit, opting to stand by the couch she waited until James had shut the door before she turned on Kate.
"You're breakin' your promise." Rita said coldly.
Kate closed her eyes for a second before she looked at the little girl, "I know."
Rita clenched her tiny fists, "You swore Kate."
Kate nodded, "I know baby. I'm-"
"If you say you're sorry I swear to God I'll scream this buildin' down." Rita interrupted, her brown eyes sparkling with unshed tears.
Kate reached for Rita but Rita twisted out of the way and stumbled back into James' legs. Clutching his hand Rita screamed at Kate, "Why are you doin' this? You're a monster! You're horrible an' I hate you!" Her little face was a dusky red with anger and tears were streaming down her face as she yelled.
Kate recoiled as if she'd been slapped, "Baby-"
"I'm not your baby! Why are you leavin' us Kate? Is it somethin' I did?" Rita cried. James was kneeling now, holding Rita's little shoulders gently.
Kate started to cry, horrified at the pain she heard in the little girl's voice. Shaking her head she held out her arms to Rita who shrank back against James.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry for whatever it is that I did! Please don't leave me! I'll be good I swear!" Rita begged, her little hand covering her heart in supplication.
Kate felt like she'd been hit by a truck, shaking her head she tried to stop crying long enough to speak to the little girl. She slid to her knees on the floor and reached for Rita, James sat back on his heels as Rita ran into Kate's arms and wrapping her little arms around Kate's neck sobbed.
Kate stroked Rita's hair in a soothing gesture, which one of them it was meant to calm down irrelevant as both of them derived comfort from the motion.
"You haven't done anything, baby, I just have to go for a little while!"
Rita shook her head against Kate's neck and cried, "No! Please don't!"
Kate closed her eyes as Rita's stricken voice stabbed at her heart, "I'll be back! Listen to me, I love you so much. That won't ever change, you just won't see me for a while, but I'll be back, I promise."
Rita pulled away from Kate and ran into James' arms, "Tell her not to go JL, tell her not to leave us!"
James rubbed Rita's back and made soothing sounds, "Okay Angel, but I need you to stop cryin' please sweetheart."
"I HATE HER!" Rita shrieked with rage and hurt, she thrashed in James' arms as she screamed and sobbed her rage.
James nodded against her dark hair, "I know sweetheart, its okay, come on now stop cryin'… for me please?"
Kate was staring incapacitated with sorrow at the pain her decision was causing those she loved most. The tears ran freely down her face as she sat there slumped against the sofa and watched James comfort an inconsolable Rita.
Finally, Rita stopped crying, cradled in James' arms as he sat cross-legged on the floor, she was hiccupping and shuddering with exhaustion from all the crying. Her devastated eyes met Kate's for a moment before she whimpered and buried her face in James' shirt.
"Okay babylove, its okay. Why dontcha rest here for a spell while I get you some water?" James said making to put Rita on the floor but she started to cry again and clung to his shirt shaking her head. James felt like his heart was being ripped apart and holding onto the little girl he stood rather awkwardly with her. Kate moved to help and he shook his head at her, before he walked in to the kitchen and poured Rita a glass of water. He didn't put her down as the kitchen still had shards of glass from Kate's outburst with the Sgt. earlier.
Rita drank all the water up very quickly, she was facing the living room but she refused to look in Kate's direction. Kate's eyes were dry now too. They were also red-rimmed and so puffy she could barely see; hunching over she bit her lip as a lacerating pain ripped through the small of her back. Quivering under the sheer force of it, she recognized it for what it was with horror when another two followed swiftly after the first.
Clutching the coffee table for support, Kate rose up to her knees and then unsteadily to her feet. Kate took a deep breath to try and calm down; when she opened her eyes James was by her side supporting her as his worried gaze searched her face.
"You alright?"
Kate looked at him regretfully, biting her lip she shook her head, "We need to go to the hospital, now." If she'd had the tears to cry she would have been crying again but instead she gritted her teeth as the pains wracked her lower back and abdomen.
James looked for Rita but the little girl had already grabbed the car keys and was standing by the door. Together the distraught trio left the apartment and hurried to the hospital.
James stood in the room with Kate as he waited for the Doctor to give his diagnosis; Rita was in the waiting room with Travis who James had called on the way. Dr. Howard had run thorough tests and had examined Kate's cervix, sitting down behind his desk he smiled kindly at the young attractive couple.
"You experienced what are called Braxton-Hicks contractions, it's nothing to worry about, they are just Nature's way of preparing your body for the birth. Given your history, I am not surprised that yours were painful. And emotional upset and over-exertion will definitely aggravate the situation. You're dehydrated, you've been by your own admission, crying all day for one reason or another… this is unacceptable Kate." Dr. Howard chided crossly. Kate swallowed nervously, she felt like she was being told off by her father or something!
"I would have kept you hear for observation but seeing as the pain and the contractions stopped before you got here and your discomfort in hospitals, I don't think this would be the best place for you. As for you young man, I expect you to take a more active role in what she does and doesn't do! I don't want to see you two back here except for the monthly check-ups and the birth of course, is that understood?" Dr. Howard was addressing James now who felt just as chastised as Kate did. Nodding his acquiescence to the portly old man, James helped Kate up as the Dr. dismissed them.
Joining a concerned Travis and Rita in the waiting room they left the hospital and after dropping Travis off at the hotel, drove the rest of the way in silence. When they got back to the apartment, Rita turned to address Kate.
"I'm glad the twins are okay, Kate." She spoke softly and she looked Kate in the eyes before heading for her bedroom. It struck Kate again what a paradox the little girl was; sometimes she seemed older than all of them and sometimes she was just a nine year old.
Kate bit her lip and went into her own bedroom to get ready for bed while James tucked Rita in. Sinking on the bed with exhaustion, Kate cradled her abdomen and whispered to the lives growing inside.
"Don't scare me like that again guys…I'm gonna need your help to get through the next few months." She got a few sharp kicks for her trouble which made her laugh with relieved delight. Getting into bed, Kate lay in the moonlight waiting for James to come to bed. She turned to look at the digital clock which read 1:00 AM, Kate was amazed at how late but early it was.
James shut the door behind him firmly, and he made his way to the bed, he'd decided to brush his teeth in Rita's bathroom and taking his jeans and t-shirt off he slid in between the cool sheets wearing nothing but his boxers.
Kate tensed apprehensively; she wasn't sure if James was going to turn away from her or not; seeing as it was her last night she really hoped it was the latter. She didn't have to wait very long as he slid his arm under her shoulder and drew her close.
Kate closed her eyes in silent gratitude and snuggled up to him, "Is she asleep?"
"Hmm… almost as soon's her head hit the pillow." James replied his eyes closed and his voice slurring with exhaustion.
Kate opened her mouth to say something else but James cut her off, "Don't worry 'bout it now Freckles, you heard what the Doc said, I for one don't need to be told twice, so get some shut-eye. Don't know how you're still functionin' after the day we've had."
Kate smiled against his neck and kissed him softly, James didn't respond, he was already asleep.
"I love you." Kate whispered to him before she finally let her body do what it was practically begging her for; sleep.
James opened his eyes to study her while she slept; she'd really scared him tonight. James had done some reading on Braxton-Hicks contractions and he'd known it was a bad sign that Kate had felt pain. When they had arrived, Dr. Howard had taken James aside and asked if they were having problems. When James had admitted they were the kindly old man had nodded as if it confirmed his suspicions. Then he'd told James that sometimes the pain was psychosomatic and not really there.
James drank in her appearance and as usual his heart skipped a merry beat when he slid his hand over her abdomen and felt his children move. Smiling to himself he let hope flood his soul, his babies were still alive, they would be fine. James resolved to be as supportive as he could be for the last few days they had together before Kate went to Russia. He just had to have faith.
Next Day - 4 AM
Kate had the dream in the water again, this time Wayne was gone and so was the Marshall, their faces had been replaced by Sgt. Austen and Ivan Solzhenesky's. Waking up abruptly, her heart hammering a wild beat in her chest; Kate had protectively curved a hand around her abdomen.
'The pulse of life existing and growing inside me.' Kate thought to herself. She couldn't have explained it to anyone if she had tried but ever since she'd spoken to the Doctor in Baton Rouge, Kate had been aware of a pulse beating in her abdomen. She was only aware of it if she didn't think of anything else and lay somewhere focusing on herself as opposed to everything else around her. With the meditation lessons James had given her she had become better at being attuned to it. Deep in her soul she knew it was her link to the lives growing inside her, and it never ceased to amaze her. 'The invisible hand of something greater than me, connecting us together.' Kate thought.
Turning to watch James' sleeping form, Kate didn't feel tears or sadness this time as she thought about what today was going to bring them. He was absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. And the way he slept so still and composed in direct contrast to his passionate, fiery personality when he was awake never ceased to thrill her. Kate didn't stop to think as she ducked her head beneath the sheets and mischievously saw to waking James up in the wickedest of ways.
James plunged straight back into awakeness from a deep, dreamless slumber. When he opened his eyes he moaned softly as Kate used her mouth and tongue to coax him into readiness.
Smirking as he pulled the sheet back, their eyes met across the golden expanse of his chest. Kate winked at him from her position before James dragged her up to kiss her firmly as a show of his appreciation. Kate smiled against his lips as their tongues caressed each other ardently in greeting.
James pulled away for a moment his eyes questioning the wisdom of the scorching path they were hurtling down with this type of greeting. Kate smiled at him in encouragement as she straddled him and leaned down to kiss him senseless. James gripped her hips in surrender as Kate set the languid torturous tempo she used when she wanted to drive him over the edge. Kate rewarded him with a smile and a momentary increase in tempo for his submission as she leisurely rocked them into a higher stratum.
7 AM
James smiled to himself as he woke up; turning over to look at Kate, James' smile faltered a little when he saw he was alone in the bed. Touching the indentation her body had made while she slept James realized it was cold. Frowning James picked up his boxers and pulling them on walked out of the room and towards the living room. Something didn't feel right.
James' eyes widened when he saw Rita standing on the balcony in her Pocohontas pyjamas. She was barefoot and staring down at something on the street, her black hair blowing haphazardly in the wind as she clutched the metal bars. Suddenly his heart started to hammer in his chest and James ran to join the little girl on the balcony.
Putting a hand on her shoulder he watched with a sinking heart as Kate handed her suitcase to an unseen person in a black van. She was wearing her skinny jeans, black hiking boots and a black wrap-around dress, her hair pulled up in a bun. Looking up at the balcony her eyes met James' and even from this distance, James could have sworn he saw an apologetic look cross her face. She stood there for what felt like an eternity but in reality was about 30 seconds; before she lifted her hand up in a half hearted wave and ducking her head into the van her body swiftly followed and disappeared behind the closing black van door.
Rita turned and wrapped her arms James' waist as she buried her tear-streaked face. James held onto her tightly, the action reflexive as the van pulled away from the curb and joined the traffic, before turning around a corner and vanishing.
END OF PART ONE