Bad Company

Chapter 21: How Much Is That Doggy In The Window?

Everyone stood still for a moment waiting for Oz to finish struggling with his Willow vs. VampWillow dilemma. With a teeth rattling growl, Oz resolved his Willow crisis and rushed her. Seeing the undersized werewolf going straight for her, Willow ripped down a nearby tree limb and tossed it at Oz, hard.

"Fetch, doggy."

Oz swiped the branch aside like it was nothing but a twig.

"Bad doggy," Willow scolded while quickly backing up.

Oz bared his teeth at her. Seeing that Willow was the target of a crazed werewolf, Angel and Spike on his minion gave her plenty of room. Angel drew Drusilla along with him despite her weak whimper of protest. Willow wasn't having any of that. As Oz lunged for her, she moved to hide behind Angel. Oz looked at Angel as a tall but inconsequential barrier and tried to shove him out of the way. Angel grabbed Oz's hairy arm and twisted it. It was nothing like twisting off a human arm. Angel could rip one of those right out of its socket with no trouble. Oz's arm gave only as long as the surprise lasted, then he started to twist against his grip. With the claws of his other arm, he went for Angel's face.

"Yes! Go for the face! Go for the face!" Spike cheered.

Angel grabbed Oz's other arm and saved his face from getting mauled. Oz made another go for Angel's face, this time with his teeth. Angel managed to dodge while not letting go of Oz's arms.

"Hey, Angelus. Having a spot of bother? Should I help? Need my help, old chum?" Spike mocked in a posh accent.

Angel was about to throw Oz to the ground and say something very cutting to Spike, when Oz sprang off Angel's chest using his feet. Angel landed in a sandbox. Oz, on all fours, went after Willow again.

"Do you know him?" Dru asked Willow. Willow was now using her to ineffectively hide behind. "He's lovesick, poor beast."

"So not rabies then," Spike concluded. Willow shifted her hiding spot to him but mostly his minion.

"Hey!" Spike tried to get out of the way as Willow circled him and his minion and Oz circled after her.

"Your little girlfriend brings trouble," Angel scolded Dru. He was still brushing sandbox sand off himself.

"Sorry, Daddy," Drusilla simpered.

"Ugh, pet. Mind my delicate stomach," Spike said. He nearly got knocked down when Oz pounced on Willow. Oz didn't see Angel stalk over to him. So it was a surprise when Angel grabbed two fistfuls of fur and swung Oz through the air past Spike on his minion and into a merry go round.

"Watch it, you bloody showoff," Spike complained.

Somehow Oz was already up, and propelling himself through the air and straight onto Angel's back. He tried to find a handhold in Angel's eye sockets. While keeping Oz's claws from gouging out his eyes, Angel had trouble shaking him off. There isn't much a werewolf can do to a vampire. Sure, he could poke his eyes out, he could rip his face off, he could tear him limb from limb. But none of these things will kill a vampire. And the size difference kept Angel's limb's pretty much where they were. What will kill a vampire is if a werewolf chews right through his neck, which is what Oz was attempting to do.

"A little help!" Angel demanded.

"I have every confidence that you'll shake him off eventually," Spike said, hoping it would be after significant disfigurement had occurred. Even disembowelment.

But Drusilla didn't want to see Angel's guts spilled all over the playground. Actually, she did want to see that. But she didn't want to see Angel disfigured.

"Poor Daddy. We must help him," Drusilla said to Willow.

"Must we?" Willow asked. Seeing the creepy and determined look Dru gave her, Willow shrugged and sighed. She and Drusilla teamed up. But with Oz stuck to Angel and both of them thrashing wildly, it wasn't easy. They finally managed to grab some fur and pull Oz off Angel. Angel was all scratched up and a little bitten around the neck and shoulders.

"Looks like you'll get to find out about that vampire into a werewolf question, Buff," Xander told Buffy in a whisper. They were both crouching behind the tree Oz had felled, watching the fun.

"So if next full moon Angel sprouts some fur... " Buffy thought about it for a second. "I don't think I want to see that."

"Oz is outnumbered. I don't think this is fair," Xander said. He always did have a soft spot for the little guy.

"He was outnumbered when he came after us too," Buffy reminded him.

"Oh that was fine. All's fur in love and war." Xander guffawed.

"Xander," Buffy said with deep sadness and disappointment while Xander tried to shrug away the disgraceful punning.

"Hey, check out who's out of the penalty box," Xander told Buffy. As he helpfully pointed, Faith and Kendra rushed onto the playground. Xander was definitely checking them out.

"I don't think this can get any better unless a pterodactyl flies onto the scene," Xander said.

"Ooh, a pterodactyl would be cool," Buffy agreed.

"Or a killer robot."

With two more players on the field even Spike and his minion had to mix it up.

"Giddy up, giddy up, horsey," Spike said as he kicked the minion's sides to urge him onward.

"I am getting spurs, I'll have you know," Spike warned the minion to make him move faster. But Spike had chosen this minion for bulk not agility. So the minion lumbered along until he got punched in the face by a dark haired girl who hit like a slayer. The minion wobbled, but he had a thick skull and managed to stay on his feet.

"Oy, mind the minion!" Spike told the girl. "Who the bloody hell is that?" Spike asked no one in particular as the girl had already turned to make Dru double over with a kick in the stomach.

"A slayer," said the slayer whom Spike had met on the unfortunate day that landed him in the wheelchair or, in this case, on the back of a minion. Kendra swung her leg out and knocked the minion off his feet and Spike off the minion. Spike landed on his ass.

"Pick me up! Pick me up!" Spike demanded. But just as his minion turned to do that, he was dust.

Drusilla was showing her teeth to the new slayer while the new slayer showed her the pointy end of her stake. Angel put an end to the show and stake with a hard backhand that knocked the slayer to the ground. She rolled away and picked up the stake she had dropped.

"My kingdom for a minion!" Spike yelled in frustration as Kendra moved on him.

Kendra leaned over him to finish him off. Instead, she got kicked in the ribs by Drusilla.

"Thanks, love."

"My darling," Dru said lovingly.

Facing Angel, the new slayer had a smile on her face and a little trickle of blood on her lip.

"That's fine, big guy. I'm not much for girl fights. All that scratching and hair pulling. I'd rather fight you any day." To punctuate her sentence, Faith got knocked to the ground with a kick to the head. Kendra drew Angel's attention with an attempted staking. Angel grabbed her arm and squeezed. Faith got to her feet and tried to break his knee cap with her heel. He let go of Kendra and got punched in the face by one slayer then the other. More than anything, Angel looked annoyed.

The werewolf kept Willow at bay. He snarled and swiped at her without connecting. Circled her, knocked her down then retreated. His attacks were half hearted, chaotic. He couldn't seem to make up his mind.

Buffy and Xander were no longer hiding as they watched the fight. Their eyes shifted over the playground like they were following a tennis match.

"Should we get in on that?" Xander wondered.

"Whose side are we on?" Buffy asked.

"Ours." And being on their side involved standing around and watching.

They noticed Giles and Cordelia first huddled by the swings then creeping under the monkey bars toward the fighting . Xander waved to them.

Cordelia frowned at his wave, then spotted Willow.

"Willow? What the Hell? I staked her. I staked her good."

"And repeatedly." Giles remembered it well as did his stomach.

"Why is she up and around, Giles?" Cordy asked accusingly.

Giles didn't bother to answer. He tried to get close to the fight without attracting attention..

"Giles, this is strictly a freakfest or a monster truck rally. How about we keep out of it? Like those two." She pointed to Xander and Buffy acting strictly as spectators.

"Look at them go. I love slayers," Xander said as Angel catapulted Faith right at his feet.

"Ow!" Xander added as his love for slayerkind was answered. Faith clipped him in the jaw while flipping herself up off the ground.

"Love hurts, babe," Faith said to him and ran off to help Kendra.

"You still love slayers?" Buffy asked him as he rubbed his jaw. Xander was too busy checking if his jaw was broken to answer.

Giles noticed that Willow had Oz's full attention. He got close with Cordelia following unwillingly. Giles raised his tranquilizer gun and fired two darts into Oz's back. At first Oz wheeled on him and roared.

"Oh God, we're dead," Cordy decided with very good reason. But soon Oz was swaying and Willow was clapping. Then she was smiling wolfishly and looking over Oz's prone body at Giles and Cordelia like they were two bunnies.

"Why did you knock him out? Why did you knock out the only thing standing between us and that?" Cordy asked as Willow's yellow eyes glowed.

"So he wouldn't get himself killed," Giles told her. He raised the tranquilizer gun at Willow.

"Now we are going to get killed! Thanks for getting us killed, Giles," Cordelia complained as Willow got closer. Giles fired and Willow pushed the gun aside. The shot missed.

Just as she reached for Giles, a hand yanked her back by her hair. It was the hand of Faith.

"Hey, girly, the fight is over here," she said into Willow's ear.

Cordelia watched Faith get backhanded in the face while Giles grabbed Oz's hairy ankles.

"Cordelia, grab his arms."

Cordelia looked down and noticed that Oz was moving a little.

"And get bitten? No thank you, I already have a monthly inconvenience."

"Cordelia, please."

"We are protecting a werewolf from vampires. Are we nuts?"

"It's Oz," Giles reminded her.

"I think you are nuts and I am just humoring you," Cordelia said as she took up Oz's arms. "Eww, he's all furry."

"Imagine that he is a fur coat and act accordingly."

"You want me to whip out my credit card or just shoplift him?"

"Just lift," Giles said through gritted teeth.

"The slayers should be doing the heavy lifting."

"They are busy," Giles said as he groaned with the effort. Oz the werewolf was considerably heavier than Oz the human.

Seeing that Giles and Cordelia had Oz, Kendra grabbed Drusilla's bony arm and swung her into Angel, landing them both in a sandbox. Forestalling a kick from Willow, Faith caught her leg and flipped her over on top of the Dru and Angel pile. They threw Spike on as well. While the vampires tried to disentangle themselves, the slayers took over from Giles and Cordelia and carried off Oz to applause from Buffy and Xander.

"Why are you applauding?" Angel growled once everyone climbed off of him. He was brushing sand and minion particles off his clothes.

"You guys put on a great show," Xander said. "I could see it again and again."

Angel looked gloomy and stalked off. Drusilla and Willow picked up Spike by his arms and pulled him along.

"Ladies, you are dragging my bloody legs," he protested.

"Let's get his legs and drag him the other way," Willow proposed. She was delighted with the image of Spike's being dragged face down in the dirt. Dru got a glint in her eye. Spike was almost sure that she wouldn't.

"Never mind ladies. Thanks for the lift," Spike told then as his legs bounced over the playground then over a curb and down the street.

to be continued