Eep. I'm really sorry. I have all of this written I just keep forgetting about it. But here's the chapter everyone is waiting for.
Chapter 21
Jeff had been in the dorm alone after his mom dropped him off. He took his pills and pretty much just sat on his bed, while waiting for Nick to get back. He had the picture he drew in his hands. Folding it, and unfolding it. He was scared of what was going to happen tonight. He decided this was the best way to bring it up. He didn't actually want to talk or really say anything. He promised Janine he would listen to him, and he was going to.
Nick thought maybe he was in the clear. He hoped he was. Janine had come along and messed things up more than he expected her to. He understood where she was coming from. Jeff needed to know. The sooner, the better, but that didn't mean Nick had the first clue about how to tell him. He'd been trying to figure it out since the day they met. It wasn't something you just say. Sighing softly, he made his way back to the dorm, running a hand through his hair and frowning when he got inside and saw Jeff just sitting on the bed, a piece of paper in his hands, "Hey. What's going on?"
Jeff looked up. He was nervous. "Come here," he motioned, and scooted up on his bed and sat with his legs crossed. He let out a breath, and he knew his heart was just pounding in his chest. He was finally finding out what had scared him. In fact it was the single most scariest thing he ever encountered. Not just like a movie that scared you for a second, but he was terrified.
Nick just looked at Jeff for a moment, unsure of what he should do. He really didn't like the way Jeff was looking at him. He almost looked scared. Was this what it was going to be like when he told him? Would it be worse? Nick sighed softly, crawling onto the bed, sitting across from Jeff and watching him curiously. "Seriously, what's going on?"
"I saw Dr. Reynolds today," Jeff whispered. He paused for a minute after that. "Um. Well, the other day. It was the day after I came home, and was bored all day. I drew this, and I - I want to give it to you," he said hesitantly. He really didn't even know if he wanted to say something, but it was too late to turn back now.
Nick looked away when Jeff mentioned Janine. Of course he did. He had to see her again. What had he found out from her, though? Nick knew she wanted Jeff to know. He just hoped she wouldn't have told him everything.
Nick hesitantly took the paper from Jeff, his breath catching in his throat as he looked at it. "Jeff, I…" After a moment of just looking at those eyes, Nick folded the paper over, staring at the space between them. "What did Janine tell you?"
"Well not much really. I just know you're not a vampire, or a zombie," Jeff said, chuckling humorlessly. "I'll admit, that I'm terrified. I have been this entire time since she talked to me," Jeff said, rubbing at his arm. He was wearing a long sleeve shirt so he wouldn't see the bruise on it. He didn't even feel it really, considering the medicine he took a little while ago. "I promised her I would listen to you, so I am."
Nick looked up at Jeff, raising his eyebrows. Were vampires and zombies really a possibility? He wasn't even sure either of those were real.
He didn't mean to scare Jeff. He wanted to tell him this at the right time, not to have it all thrown on him like this. He looked into Jeff's eyes for a moment before looking down at the bed, "You have to understand, I didn't tell you because I didn't want to scare you away." He took a deep breath, looking anywhere but at Jeff, "When…When I was seventeen, I was murdered. Don't know who did it. Doesn't really matter now." He shrugged, "I woke up, and um…here I am, a hundred and sixty five years later." He probably could've explained that better but he hadn't had enough time to think it through.
Jeff stayed silent for a minute. Processing this was really hard. "How did you … come back to life?" Jeff decided to ask. It probably wouldn't have been the first question he wanted to ask, but it seemed better than the others. Murdered. He still honestly didn't know what he could be. It still felt like a dream actually. The possibility of being in a coma was still there. He'd wake up, and probably start school, and Nick never even existed. He wanted to believe that, but he didn't.
Nick looked up at Jeff, trying to gauge his reaction. He was surprised Jeff was even there still. Getting this far was not what he'd expected.
"I don't really know how it happened. One minute I was dead, the next, I was alive." Nick bit his lip nervously, "Honestly, I'm pretty new to this whole thing. That's what Janine says, anyway. I mean, she's nearly twice my age." He wanted to take Jeff's hand, but he had a feeling that wouldn't be the best idea at that moment, "Please tell me what you're thinking."
Jeff didn't answer him right away, "I don't really know what I'm thinking. I don't even really know what exactly it is you are," Jeff finally said. He leaned his head forward onto his one hand, propped up on his knee. "I don't even really want to believe it, but Janine proved that," he said, and thought back to his morning. He still didn't really calm down after that.
"I just- I really don't know," Jeff said, and sighed, closing his eyes.
Nick contemplated showing Jeff his eyes to make this all more believably but quickly decided against it, keeping them as they were. He knew that would just scare Jeff more. He looked into Jeff's eyes when he spoke, "I know it's hard to believe. I wouldn't believe it if I hadn't lived it, but I…I'm a demon."
Jeff furrowed his eyebrows. A demon? How did he not think of that.
He ran a hand through his hair, sighing, "I was going to tell you, just not like this. Janine kind of messed that up, though." He watched Jeff closely, his voice coming out in a whisper, "I'm still me."
"There's really a hell? And heaven? God?" Jeff pondered.
Nick shrugged. He really didn't want to get into the whole heaven, hell thing. That seemed far too complicated.
"Wait, you - you're just possessing that guy? Is he still alive?" Jeff asked, more frantically, "You could just come out and possess me?" His heart sped up again, and his eyes widened.
He quickly shook his head as Jeff's eyes went wide, "I'd never possess you, I promise!" He reached out and took Jeff's hand, knowing that was probably a mistake, but needing the reassurance. "I wouldn't take a body against their will. It's not my style. There are some people that offer it, there are others that are so close to death, there's nothing to keep them alive, so a demon will take their body. That's what I did."
Jeff flinched away from Nick's hand at first, but let the familiar sense of it keep his hand there. He just bit his lip.
"I honestly don't know what to say. I don't know whether to just accept that, or move on. I want to stay because it feels right, but it also feels wrong. I know staying with you, would lead to seeing other demons, and I don't want to go into that danger, but of course I do because living that life. All guys want that. Go down the bad boy road," Jeff shrugged. He wanted time for all of this. It actually reminded him of what Janine said the first time he met her. Nicky-poo's human. Jeff stood up and started pacing in the small floor area they had.
Nick closed his eyes for a moment as Jeff flinched away from his hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly along his knuckles. He knew this would be a lot to take in. It was a lot for him to even begin to understand when it happened to him. He didn't know how Jeff wasn't running out of the room by this point if he was perfectly honest.
Nick tried to hide how disappointed he was when Jeff got up, how scared he was that he'd just walk right out that door. Nick looked down at the bed, "You've already seen other demons. You don't even realize they are, but they are. They're there, and there are more around than you'd think." He didn't want to scare him, he just didn't want Jeff thinking he could run away from this by running away from him.
"I also just don't want to go into that risk of being just some toy you play with and dump when I get boring. Or old for that matter," Jeff said. He didn't know why all of his thoughts were just spewing out all of a sudden. He didn't want to say all of that.
Nick looked up at Jeff, his eyes going wide, "No. Jeff, no, I would never use you. I didn't expect any of this to happen when I came here. I just wanted to find a quiet town I could lay low in for a couple of decades, and then move on. I didn't expect to meet someone like you." He shifted to the corner of the bed, moving closer to Jeff, "I told you that I'd never felt like this with anyone before, and I meant it. I've never lied to you, I just had this one secret, and you knew I was keeping something from you. I told you I'd tell you eventually, and I would've."
Jeff had the urge to cry. He didn't though. He couldn't cry in front of Nick.
"I think I need time. I'm not breaking up with you, but this is just too much right now. I would just go to sleep right now, but I have a lot of homework that needs to be done," Jeff said, and finally stopped walking around their small room. He stood behind his desk chair and sent a glance at Nick. He hoped this didn't hurt him. He just didn't know what to do about it. It's not like he's going to get any of the work done, but it's worth a shot, and he can't take his nighttime pill for a couple more hours, so he had to get some time to get by.
Nick couldn't look at Jeff after that. He just couldn't. He didn't want him to react this way. He was sure he could've gotten this to work better if he just had the time, but it was too late now. It was out there, and he couldn't take it back. Nick was just so scared he was going to lose Jeff now.
Jeff thought about going out. Going to the art room maybe, or the garden, or maybe sitting by the pool Dalton had. Water had that effect on him. He wished he wasn't in the middle of the state, or else he'd probably go drive all the way to Lake Erie. That would be good actually.
Taking a shaky breath, Nick ran a hand through his hair, getting to his feet and heading towards the door, "O-Okay. I'm just going to go, take a walk or something. Give you some time to yourself. I won't come back 'till late, okay? So you can just take your time to figure everything out."
"You- you don't have to go," Jeff said, and took a small step forward. He knew it would just be weird for them to sit there in silence together, but for some reason, he didn't want him to leave. He wanted to just forget the whole thing and lay in the bed together like they did, and talk. Talk about silly things, not things like this.
The door shut though, and he left. Jeff let himself go, and leaned against the wall to slide down to the ground. He couldn't even go shower or anything to hide that. This isn't how he wanted any of it to happen. He couldn't date a demon. That just wouldn't happen. He was human, and he would eventually get old, and die.
But he knew something had happened between them. Something spectacular. Like finding the other half of your soul. He didn't want to admit it, after just a couple weeks of being together, but thought he loved him. Jeff didn't want to lose him.
Nick heard Jeff as he shut the door, but he wouldn't go back. He wanted to. He really, really wanted to. He'd do just about anything Jeff asked of him, which really should've terrified him, but it didn't. Okay, maybe a little. It didn't matter, though. All that mattered at that moment, was Jeff, and for all he knew, he could be losing him.