Summary: 
This chapter is an homage to 'Sein Un Zeit', an episode of 'The X-Files' written by Chris Carter.

Sein Un Zeit means being and time. The totality of all things that exist during an appointed or fated moment.

ThanX go out to my beta Agent Extremis for being so patient with all of my messed up tenses and bad grammer. ;-)

Disclaimer: No one shoots at Santa Claus.

Previously on Ouroboros:

"Addison?" She froze, knowing that all too familiar voice. She quickly pulled away from Pete and turned to meet Derek's intense gaze. Derek walked closer until he stood in front of Pete and Addison. Addison looked from Pete to Derek, both men had questioning eyes.

Everyone was watching them, everyone holding their breath, and Meredith Grey had a triumphant smile. This was going to be interesting.

Have you ever seen a terrified lioness being circled by two territorial lions? I have and let me tell you, it's pretty damn entertaining.

'Sein Un Zeit' by Agent Addek

Monitors beeping, rolling carts with medical equipment, and hospital staff whispers was all she could hear. Time was passing by so slowly, as if it was allowing her time to decide. She didn't know what to do. Two men she deeply cared about were on either side awaiting an answer from her. Derek had always had her heart. He was the man that she had always wanted to spend her life with, the man who she had been trying to forget to no avail. Then there was Pete, the man who helped her put herself back together again. He had helped her to believe that she could be loved.

Addison looked from Derek to Pete, still in shock from having them both in front of her. Pete couldn't wait any longer, he called out her name to get her attention.

"Addison?" Pete questioned cautiously. Derek instinctively became territorial and reached for her hand. He held it tightly, trying to pull her towards him. Addison looked down at their intwined hands and then turned to meet his gaze, she slowly loosened her hand from his grip. Derek couldn't hide the overwhelming fear, hurt, and disappointment. He gave her a questioning stare but she resignedly made her way over to Pete.

It seemed like the entire hospital was holding their breath. Richard, Miranda, and Callie were floored. Christina and Izzie's jaws went slack. And Meredith...well Meredith had a huge smile plastered across her face.

As Addison was getting closer to Pete, Derek called out her name. "Addison?" he said desperately. She turned back to look at him, smiled ruefully and then turned back to Pete. Derek was stunned, heartbroken, and lost.

Everyone continued to watch the scene unravel before them...they couldn't look away. Addison was now face to face with Pete. He grinned and reached out for her and tried to guide her away to find some privacy, but Addison stopped him.

"I'm so sorry Pete." She said deploringly.

"For what?" He asked confused.

"I didn't expect this to happen, I didn't know. You have to believe me!"

"Addie..." He reached out to touch her face. "...please don't do this. Come back to LA with me. Let's go home Addison." He pleaded.

"I'm so sorry...I can't. I love you, I do. I hope you know that...but I can't."

"You're still in love with him aren't you?" He stated disheartened.

She looked away from him. She couldn't look him in the eye and tell him what he now knew to be true. He slid his hand from her cheek to her chin and lifted it so he could see her eyes.

"Addison?"

"Yes, I love him. I never stopped. I wish I didn't, believe me. It would be so much easier if I didn't."

Derek, who had been dejectedly standing near them, was completely shocked by the sudden change of events. Only a few seconds before he thought he had lost her.

Meredith was no longer smiling. Christina and Izzie were now by her side, still dumbfounded. Richard, Miranda, and Callie found themselves in a mixture of confusion and happiness.

Pete couldn't breathe. He felt like he had been brutally punched in the stomach. He searched her eyes, begging her to take it back. He couldn't believe it, this couldn't be true. Then he saw what he was afraid to recognize, the truth was there...her eyes never lied. He refused to let her go without a fight. Naomi had said that she was probably confused...that she loved him,that she just wanted someone to fight for her, and fight he would.

"Addison, he hurt you." He said as he pointed towards Derek's direction. "He left you, he stopped seeing you. He didn't love you enough to fight for you. I would never do that to you. I love you Addison, I love you." He said genuinely.

"I know you love me and I love you too. It wouldn't be this hard to tell you this if I didn't care about you...but I choose him. It's always been him, I chose him a long time ago, I..."

"But he didn't choose you Addison, he chose someone else, remember?" He said it pointedly.

"Pete, it was always me and I knew it. Deep down, I always knew it was me. I was just waiting for him to realize it and he finally did. You don't know how very sorry I am that you had to end up getting hurt because of us. We're Addison and Derek, I always knew that someday he'd come back for me. I'm so sorry." He looked down. He couldn't allow her to see the pain that her words were causing him. She touched his face with her hand and he instinctively looked up to meet her eyes. When she saw the acceptance in his pained orbs, she leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek, but Pete turned his face and caught her lips instead. He held her tightly to him, kissing her passionately. Addison froze but then instinctively reciprocated, not instantly pulling away.

Derek clenched his fists defensively. He started walking towards them to put a stop to Pete's advances on Addison but the chief forcibly held him back. "Derek, let the man have his last moment with her. She's staying with you, just let them be." Derek stayed put but didn't loosen his tighten fists.

Addison felt the tension around them so she pulled away from Pete's grasp and instead chose to press her forehead to his. "Goodbye Pete. Thank you, thank you for loving me enough to let me go."

"You were never mine to keep Addie. Like you said, you always belonged to him." He smiled lamentably. Addison found his hand and gave it a tight squeeze then stepped away and walked back towards an awaiting Derek, but Pete followed her. She noticed Derek tense up, getting ready for battle, so she turned back only to come face to face with Pete once more. She noticed the stern look on his face. She turned back to Derek and saw his fists tighten again and then she saw Mark coming up behind him, supporting his brother.

"Pete?" She questioned warily.

Pete came to a stop. Addison was in between himself and Derek again. She reached out for Derek's hand in support of him. Whispers soon filled the room once more. Richard, Alex, and George readied themselves to separate the men if need be. Everyone held their breath, no one could blame Pete if he punched Derek.

Derek held Pete's stare for several moments until Pete finally spoke. "You better spend the rest of your life deserving her, because she's absolutely worth it. You hurt her and I will come back and personally kick your ass. She's a wonderful woman and I hope you know that you are one lucky son of a bitch to have her love you the way she does." He gave Derek one last threatening look and then turned his attention to Addison and his face instantly softened.

"Be happy." With that he walked away.

Relief and happiness flowed through Derek until he noticed the pain that crossed Addison's face as she watched Pete walk away. He squeezed her hand to let her know that he was there for her and then pulled her towards him to hold her. She easily relaxed in his embrace and then looked up to meet his eyes. Derek was still so elated that he didn't waste any time and leaned down to kiss her and she unconsciously reciprocated. They continued to kiss passionately as the staff that had gathered was all a buzz.

Meredith couldn't stand to watch anymore so she turned to leave with Izzie and Christina in tow.

Mark, Callie, Miranda, and Richard walked over to them, trying to get their attention. Mark spoke first, "Jesus you two! Get a room!" Derek chuckled and pulled away from Addison as she blushed, being a bit embarrassed for getting carried away.

"Sorry." She said impishly.

"Alright you two, get a hold of yourselves and take this somewhere else where my staff won't be able to turn around and file sexual harassment charges on both of you." Richard said with a slight grin as he walked away. He was happy for them. He'd known this day would come, he just hadn't known that it was going to take them this long to figure it out.

Miranda was eyeing them both. She finally pinned Derek with one of her stares. "You lucky, lucky man. You better not do anything foolish again because you won't be getting any more chances with this amazing women, I'll make sure of it." She then turned to Addison, smiled at her and then walked away.

"I think she was serious." Derek stated.

"Uhmm...yeah Bailey doesn't mess around, Shepherd." Callie said teasingly. She noticed Addison had been quiet throughout everyone's exchange. "Addison?" She seemed lost in thought.

Derek noticed it too, "Addie?" She finally looked up to meet their questioning eyes, a bit confused.

"Hmm...?" She questioned.

"Hey, where were you just now?" Derek asked with a tinge of concern.

"Uhmm...nowhere. Just listening."

Callie and Mark both gave Derek a inquiring stare and then excused themselves to give them some time alone.

"Hey Addie, are you sure you're okay?" He asked again. He knew something was bothering her. Had she changed her mind? Did she regret what just took place? He had a thousand different questions and only she could answer them. So he reached out for her hand and guided her to her office.

Once in the office, Derek pulled her towards him again and tried to hold her, but Addison pulled away and flopped down on the couch. Derek flinched at her reaction, he was suddenly overcome with panic.

"What's wrong Addie?" He asked cautiously.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She dismissed.

"Addie, please talk to me...tell me what you're thinking?" He begged. He wouldn't let her shut him out.

Addison wanted to spare him these feelings. He didn't need to know what she was thinking or feeling, but she couldn't shut him out either. Addison knew that this was the trap that they wanted to avoid. Not talking about things was what had gotten them into trouble before.

She waited for a few moments and then looked into his eyes and spoke. "I'm not saying this to hurt you Derek, but I love him... and it hurts to know that he won't be a part of my everyday life anymore. He was the person I counted on. He was there when I needed him and I've hurt him. I can't believe I did that to him." She cried softly as tears streamed down her cheeks.


Derek was floored. He was overcome with a mixture of crushing emotions. He felt anguished. He was torn between jealousy, understanding and the realization of what she was going through, because he had once said the same thing to her. He hesitated at first but then took a seat next to her and pulled her into his arms, holding and soothing her. He had to hold her. He couldn't bear to see her in pain even if it was over someone else. It was cruel and cosmic. He had once crushed her like this, except he had done it to hurt her...but not his Addie, she was too caught up in her own grief and loss to even realize that this was killing him. But he owed her this, he would be the friend that she needed now and let her feel what she needed to feel. There was no room for bruised egos or jealousy at this moment, she just needed him and he would not deny her that.

Addison relaxed in his arms and allowed herself to be comforted by him. She felt a pain in her chest, a knot in her throat, and an uneasiness in her stomach. How could she let him go like she did? How could she hurt him? All he did was love her. She cried a little more. She couldn't control the overwhelming emotions that were racking through her.

Derek continued to hold her, stroking her hair and calming her down until the tears subsided.

"Addie?" He questioned softly.

Addison pulled away from his lap and tried to compose herself. She looked at him and was met with sincere concern.

"Are you okay?" He asked tentatively.

She smiled faintly, "Yes, I feel a bit better. Uhmm...Thank you." She whispered, her throat hoarse from the crying, "I needed that." She smiled shyly.

"I know...thank you for trusting me with this Addie. I want you to be able to tell me anything. I don't want us to hold anything back."

"Yeah?"


"Yeah." He reached out to tug back behind her ear an errant strand of hair. "I told you before, I'm ready for this Addie...all of it." He stated matter-of-factly.

They stared at each other for a few moments. They knew that there was still so much left to talk about and do, but they had made progress.

A realization finally dawned on Addison and she abruptly broke the spell they had been under.

"Oh shit!! What time is it? We should probably go meet up with Dr. Vaselenak, your test should be in."

Derek looked down at his watch. "We still have a few minutes, but yeah we should. You wanna go wash up first?"

"Yes. Wait for me?"

"Always." He said with a smile as he stood up and helped her from the couch.

Addison smiled a big genuine smile this time and then hurried out her office.

Derek watched her go as a surge of relief and gratitude washed over him, thankful that she had chosen him. He took a few minutes, then walked out to meet her.

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The visit with Dr. Vaselenak had revealed what Dr. Anderson had previously told them at Saint Ambrose, Derek was having a reaction to all of the stress. Why wouldn't he? In a matter of a week, things had changed so drastically. Derek hadn't known that he would see her in LA and she certainly hadn't thought that she would see him in her city, but somehow, they had been brought back together. She was insane for taking this chance with him, but she had once said that all things happen for a reason. This was their moment.

So now she sat on the trailer's porch, contemplating what was coming. Derek had stepped out to go and get them something to eat and she had decided to stay, shower, and change into something more comfortable. Addison stared out into the forest of trees surrounding the property. It seemed so convoluted in front of her, but she could still see the tiny clearing that led to that amazing property Derek owned. She squinted her eyes a bit trying to make out what was up ahead, but it was too far and blurry. Addison could hear the slight breeze and could smell the nice crisp air. She noticed the mud that had been caused by the storm was now pretty much dried up. She continued to take in her surroundings. She was actually going to miss this place. Not Seattle, but the quiet...the space that belonged to them where nothing and no one could touch them. It would be so much easier if they could stay at the trailer forever and not face the world. They could be relatively happy here. She half laughed to herself, who was she kidding?! One more week in this small cramped silver tin can and she could not be blamed for her actions.

She inhaled deeply and was about to get more comfortable but was startled by her ringing cell phone. Addison reached for it and recognized the familiar number...nope she wouldn't deal with this today, she sent it to voicemail. Addison couldn't help but think of what she would face once she headed back to LA. She had broken Pete's heart and no matter how much progress she had made with everyone at the office, they would take his side...and why wouldn't they? She hurt him, she left him for her ex-husband! But they had to understand that she hadn't planned on this to happen. Addison couldn't help that she was still in love with Derek any more than...well...any more than Naomi and Sam could stay away from each other.

Naomi...there was another person she would have confront. Her friend...best friend, had sent Pete to come and get her. What was she thinking? Addison shook her head. She knew that Naomi was trying to do what she thought was best, but by doing that, she hadn't given her a chance to tell Pete on her own terms. She would have to talk to her when she got back.

Should she even go back? Did she really want to face her colleagues, her friends? What were they going to say? Would they accept Derek? Well, Sam would, he's missed Derek, but what about everyone else? And why is she trying to make it easier for Derek? He certainly didn't make it easy for her when she first came to Seattle, in fact he made it hell. Addison rolled her eyes and chided herself for thinking that. They were starting over, no more self-sabotage. They were going to give themselves a real chance this time. No more games, no more excuses, no more Mark or Meredith, just them.

Just them. She smiled. It's crazy how she was so ready to just completely give up on the notion of ever being with him...and now, now it was completely a possibility. But it terrified her, it scared her to no end! Addison was brought out of her reverie when she heard Derek's truck approaching, she stood up and walked over to him.

"Hey, what do you say we eat out here? It's such a lovely evening." She said as she offered him a smile.

"Yeah it is." He said as he admired how beautiful she looked, even when she put very little effort into it. "Okay, do you want me to set up a table?..."

"No, we can just sit on the lounge chairs and take in the peacefulness of this place. Oh hey, did you bring the beer?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Like I'd forget. I know how much you love your Moo Goo Gai Pan with your Shiner Bock." He teased.

She laughed and took the food from him as she walked back up to the porch. Derek followed her to go inside and grab the cooler for the beers. When he walked back out, Addison had already set everything up. She had laid down one of the throw blankets and had set up the food in front of them. She seemed so relaxed and carefree. He smiled goofily at her and then sat down next to her.

"Did you get this from Bamboo Gardens?" She asked as she dug through the bag for some chopsticks.

"Like I'd go anywhere else. I know how picky you are when it comes to your chinese, especially if it runs the risk of getting cold." He said with a sly grin.

"Yeah well, I don't want none of that..." She said as she waved her hand in a circular motion at his lower extremities "...today."

"Hey hey now, don't say things you don't mean." He said with a wicked grin.

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Life had prepared him for many things. He had traveled all over and had lived in not so great conditions. Pete had had a wife who wasn't a very nice woman that had made him miserable. When she died he felt relief, only to then feel guilt for feeling relief, but even so, he had coped with it. He was a strong man, he knew that. He could withstand a lot of pain...well almost any kind of pain, until he fell completely in love.

He had never been in love before. He had definitely loved, but never the kind where it was gut wrenching, can't breathe, can't live without you kind of love. Mostly because he never allowed himself to get caught up. Pete was a serial dater. He'd met gorgeous intelligent women and have a night or two of fun and then on to the next one. He wouldn't have admitted it before, but he hadn't wanted to risk his heart. And with good reason.

But Pete Wilder had finally taken the plunge, the road less traveled...and look what happened? He'd gotten his heart broken by a woman he had so desperately tried to keep at arm's length. From the moment he saw her, he wanted her, there was no denying that. How could he not want her? She was gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and although he would never admit it to her, brilliant, and also one of the most compassionate people he had ever met. But Pete always knew she'd be trouble. After the first time he kissed her in that stairwell, he knew that if she stayed he would be in a predicament, so he had been glad that she was only visiting.

Well to his surprise, that lovely fiery redhead came bursting back into his life. Again he tried, tried really hard to keep away from her, but it didn't work. With every smile, every look, every thing she did, Addison absolutely captivated him and his heart without even trying. So he gave in, he gave in completely and it was the most invigorating feeling that he had ever had... especially when she loved him back. And she did love him, of that he was sure of, but not enough. He quickly caught on to the fact that Addison was still in love with her ex-husband when he showed up in LA. To be fair, he knew that Derek hadn't known that she was there, but it hadn't stopped Pete from wishing that he wasn't so damn good at his job. Then, maybe perhaps Derek wouldn't have ever had a reason to be in LA, and maybe, just maybe, he and Addison could have continued to explore their relationship. How was he supposed to go back without her? How could she just let Derek back into her life after all he had done to her? Was she really serious about being with him? And what about him...what had he done wrong? Did he not love her enough? Not tell her how much he needed her? He shook his head, none of that mattered anymore because she had made her choice and no matter how much it pained him, he wanted her to be happy. If that meant Derek was her happiness, so be it, but it didn't make it hurt any less.

He continued to sit on the uncomfortable airport chair waiting for his flight to be called, he needed to get out of this city. This trip to Seattle was not what he had envisioned it to be. He was going home without the girl. He looked down at his hands, trying to concentrate on anything other than the aching feeling in his chest and the arduous thoughts in his head. He tried to keep the tears at bay but he lost his struggle when a lone tear escaped. Pete finally gave in and leaned his face forward, resting it in his hands, and a sob escaped him before he could stop it.

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She could feel his muscles underneath her fingertips as she glided her hands up and down his back. She adjusted her legs around him to grant him closer access to her. His skin felt amazing! She continued to explore his body as he explored hers. Addison could feel the slight stubble tickling the side of her neck as he kissed and sucked on it. She reached for his face, wanting to look into his eyes. They gazed at each other for several moments and then Derek dipped his head to capture her inviting lips. They kissed passionately as his fingers trailed up her thigh, making their way to her panties, readying himself to feel her warmth envelop him.

Addison could feel his want for her, could feel his hard girth even through their constricting clothing. She couldn't deny that her body wanted him too. She wanted to feel him inside her, to make her be in this reality that they were in. Addison felt like this wasn't really happening, like she would soon wake up back in LA without him, but she knew this was real. She also knew that she had just broken another man's heart and by doing that, broken a part of hers as well. She couldn't lose herself in this, in them, it wouldn't be fair to Derek or herself. So she gently pushed on Derek's chest.

"What's wrong?" He panted.

She was quiet, she didn't know how to tell him. Addison didn't want to hurt him, but she couldn't do this tonight as much as she wanted to.

"Addie?" He said her name with worry.

"I'm sorry Derek, I'm just...I...I don't think I can do this tonight. I want to, I really do, but it's...can you just hold me?" She whispered the last phrase.

Derek was taken aback. His brain was still trying to come down from its aroused state, but as soon as he heard her utter 'hold me', he understood what she needed. And as much as he wanted to touch her, kiss her, and make love to her, if all she wanted was to be held, then he would hold her. He smiled at her and then slowly rolled over on his back and pulled her towards his chest. Addison beamed up at him and then adjusted her head underneath his chin and smoothed her hand over his chest. Derek embraced her slender form completely and held on tightly.

"Are you okay?" He finally asked.

"I am, I just suddenly got this overwhelming feeling to have your arms around me." She smiled shyly.

"Thank you." He simply stated.

"For what?" She asked a bit puzzled.

"For feeling comfortable enough to tell me. I'm glad you didn't feel like you couldn't ask me to stop, you know what we were about to...just thank you." He said sincerely.

"I'm trying. It's hard you know. Our history is stacked against us, but I don't care, I really want this to work." She sniffed as a few tears escaped. "Do you think we can make it this time?"

Derek felt her tears pooling on his chest as he held her closer. "Addie, I'm afraid too. I'm afraid to close my eyes and wake up to find you gone and find that this has all been a dream. I don't know how things will work out...honestly, I wish I did. But I want them to and I feel like you do too. As long as we're honest with each other from now on, and that we give it our best shot, I don't see why we can't make it. I love you and I will try my damnedest to make you happy."


"I love you too." She whispered. She turned to kiss his chest and Derek reciprocated by kissing the top of her head. They both laid in bed holding onto each other. Derek began to stroke her hair and Addison slowly began to drift off into sleep, feeling safe surrounded by Derek. He felt her breathing even out and he laid his hand on her to feel her heartbeat. He smiled, it still beat the same way.

Before everything fell apart, that had been one thing that he would do when she was sleeping. He would lay his hand or sometimes his head on her chest and he would listen to the rhythm of her heartbeat. It let him know that she was there, it grounded him. It's funny how he ever thought at one point that he could live his life without her. Addison had been everything to him, what he would have missed had he not realized it. He knew things were going to get worse before they got better, but he was ready to face them because he had her by his side, and he would be there for her no matter what. It wasn't going to be easy for her, but he would not allow anyone to give her doubts or make her feel guilty for what happened. He turned to look at her, she seemed so serene and breathtaking. How he wished that he could protect her from what they would both soon face. Derek wanted to spare her any more pain. She had been through so much and he couldn't deny that most of it had been at his hands, but he knew now that he would try his utmost to never hurt her the way he had before and she was absolutely worth the effort.

She would be leaving soon he realized. Addison would be heading back to LA without him. Sure, he would be meeting up with her once he arranged everything with Richard, but knowing that they would be apart for at least of couple of weeks, or any length of time, was so daunting to him. Derek found it so peculiar that he had been able to go for a little over a year and a half without her, but now that it finally hit him how much he'd missed her, her absence was something he didn't want to think about. What was he going to do with himself? He wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything, of that he was sure of. He would just have to busy himself by packing and searching for work, a place to live, and making plans for them. And what would she do? Would her colleagues give her a hard time? Would she be around Pete? Was he going to try and get her back? Would Addison let him try? He shook his head and berated himself. No, he wouldn't think that way. He trusted her. Derek was suddenly startled by the ringing phone. It was Addison's phone. It kept ringing and ringing. He tried to reach for it so that it wouldn't wake her, but he was too late. She began to stir in his arms.

"Sorry. It's your phone...I couldn't shut it off in time." He said sheepishly.

"It's okay." She said groggily. "Who is it?"

"Hmmm..." He turned the phone over to see. "Naomi. Do you wanna pick up?"

"Nahhh. I'll call her tomorrow." She said as she fixed herself on his chest again. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" He answered as he rubbed her arm lightly.

"I think I need to go back home tomorrow." She said softly.

He paused for a moment. He knew she had to leave and he had to let her go. Addison was beginning to worry, so she turned to see his face. He gave her a lopsided smirk.

"Okay." He simply stated.

She beamed. Addison was so happy that they somehow managed to be on the same page. Derek's heart skipped a beat. Even in this darkness he could see her radiant smile. She always had the ability to give a smile that could derail a train. He leaned down and kissed her lightly, then nuzzled her head. Both laid in bed contentedly.

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So there you have it folks...THE END!!!

LOL Just Kidding. :P

It's funny, this is the first time there's no big cliffhanger but I hope you all still like it.

As always PLEASE REVIEW!!!!

Till Soon

Liz

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