Chibs and I had been walking for God knew how long. I'd stopped counting. I stopped trying to keep track of the days. There wasn't any point. Chibs clung intently to the idea that we'd find the others. I didn't think we would. I didn't know how we could possibly all find each other, stumbling around this mess of a forest while trying to avoid the walkers. Chibs continued to call them mice, but all I could think was that if that was how mice were now, I for damn sure wasn't no owl.

Wandering was painful. I just wanted to lay down and die somewhere before the walkers got me. But I knew Chibs would never let me rest again if the thought got the chance to exit my mouth. So I stayed quiet and walked behind him as he picked his way through the forest.

I paused, feeling a set of eyes on me. I glanced over my shoulder, giving a half turn to scan the forest.

"What?" Chibs asked quietly.

"Somebody's watchin' us." I told him, feeling like bugs were crawling on my skin.

"Whatcha mean, somebody's watchin' us?" He asked, coming close to my shoulder.

"Ya don't feel the creep crawly feelin'?" I asked, looking up at him.

The way he stayed silent, watching the forest, I knew he had, he just hadn't wanted to talk about it out loud. "Ya see 'em?"

I shook my head, scanning the forest again. "We best find us some supplies." I told him, watching the forest floor. "This way." I told him, turning our course more to the east, towards a set of old foot prints.

Chibs followed silently. I didn't think he knew what to do with me. He'd never seen this side of me before, the normal Dixon side of me. It was one of the reasons Daryl and I adapted better to this new lifestyle than other people had; we were already doin' it before, it was just more intense this time around.

I carved us a path through the woods until we broke into a small clearing with a cabin. I paused for a minute. "Old moonshine cabin." I murmured to Chibs. "If nothin' else, we got booze." I told him, picking slowly towards the cabin.

He helped me clear the cabin before I went searching. I told him I was fine and that he should search the cabin for anything useful. I went around back and found the goldmine in the form of clear liquid that could make you go blind if drank in large quantities. It'd also start a fire and run a tractor clean for a day. And since we didn't have any tractors around, I only brought back one gallon jug, knowing this would last us more than the next three weeks, let alone the night.

"What'd ya find?" I asked Chibs upon entering the cabin.

There were three cans of soup and chili on the counter, which he gestured to before smiling like a fool. "Found me a can of chicken livers."

I balked. "You can keep those, I get this." I told him, setting the jug on an old rickety table.

Chibs grinned, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "I dunno 'bout you, Kelsi love. But I've been alone a minute."

I rolled my eyes. "Keep it in your pants, grandpa. You drink more than a couple ounces of this and you'll be hearin' colors. It's to start the fire."

Chibs looked good with the grin that seemed now plastered on his face. "Never heard a color before. Now's a good a time as any."

I shook my head. "Open those cans up. I'm gonna find us some firewood." I told him, pulling the crow bar off my belt and swinging it around as I made my way for the door. I paused on the deck, watching the trees.

"Ya alright love?" I heard Chibs call.

Looking out at the forest felt… weird. Something wasn't right and I couldn't shake the feeling. I turned to look back at Chibs, watching me. "Do ya… do ya feel it?" I asked carefully.

He watched me for a moment, but nodded his head slowly. "Suppose it's not good then."

"Never is." I told him, swinging the crow bar around as I stepped off the deck and headed into the trees in search of wood.

It'd rained the last day and a half and I wasn't much looking forward to smoking out the little house we had. Luckily, I found a whole arm load of firewood under the cover of some barely damp moss. The only hard part was hauling it back. If something came up on me, I'd be worse off to defend myself.

I settled for only grabbing as much as I could carry in one arm. This way, I still had the crow bar at the ready. I did this three other times. On my fourth time out to get my last load, a twig snapped and I held my breath, looking around.

About twenty yards out was a dead guy, in a suit and tie, missing an arm and most of his face. The walker groaned and snapped his teeth at me, the only things he knew how to do anymore. So I waited until he came closer, then I ran the crow bar through his head and gave a yank.

It was covered in brown blood and brain matter, but I flung it off into the bushes and did another scan. Nothing else among the trees but us.

I carried the last load of firewood in before Chibs and I settled on the old wood floor with our canned chili and chicken livers. We were quiet, only making a little noise. The fire was warm and there was food in my stomach; I felt like talking would ruin the second of normalcy we had been graced with.

"What ya miss most?" Chibs asked quietly after a few more minutes.

I looked up at him, not sure what he meant.

"From before. Sex? Coffee? Ice cream?" He asked with a little grin that made me consider if he'd been sipping on that shine or not.

"D, all of the above." I said quietly, taking another bite of soup.

Chibs nodded. "Meh too. Never thought I'd make it this far."

I shrugged. "I never thought I'd make it off that bridge. Guess we were both wrong."

He smiled a little bit like he was happy with his current situation. "Suppose so."

I didn't have anything to add, nothing to say to enhance the conversation. I didn't know if I wanted to talk, or scream, or kill something that wasn't already dead. The numbness that washed over me was far more intense than anything I'd felt before. I could barely focus on anything but the fire.

"Ya changed after all this." He spoke quietly and I felt like he was silently begging me to talk to him.

I shrugged, the constant hopeless feeling slowly creeping back into my body. "Everybody did, Chibs. Ain't nobody the same as they was."

"Ya know what I mean, lass." He said.

I watched the fire for a long moment before I nodded. "Before, even after I left Juice…" I trailed off, trying to organize my thoughts. "I had a purpose; I knew my place and my reason for being there. Now…" I paused, wondering what I even was now. "Now, I don't have a place, there's no reason for me to be here other than the fact I somehow managed to not die while all of this happened."

Chibs was silent and when I looked up at him, he was watching me closely.

"I can't take the uncertainty." I told him honestly, looking back at my chili. "If I knew that somewhere out in the world, someone managed to survive and thrive this way; that maybe the rest of us could…" I nodded to myself. "That'd give me enough to get rid of this hopelessness."

Chibs nodded like he understood what I meant and we settled back into the quiet air of the Georgia night.

Waking up the next morning was odd. I woke slowly, and for a split second, moved my arm, seeking Juice on the other side of the bed. But gently, I was pulled back to reality. Juice wasn't here and I wasn't in a bed. Instead, I was laying on the floor, huddled in on myself, using an old rug as a pillow under my head.

The fire had gone out and our trash laid in the same spot it did the night before. I stood and moved towards the door way. Chibs was nowhere to be seen and I didn't like the idea that he might have run off to do something on his own. He was all I had left.

After Kip died, I didn't know how much more of this I could stand. And seeing Chibs absent from the cabin was definitely not a worry I wanted in the forefront of my mind first thing in the morning.

Something crackled in the forest and I wiped off a spot on the window to see if I could see through it. Other than a walker starting to amble towards the house, I didn't see anything worth looking for. But I pulled open the door, looking out at the little deck for a minute before heading down the steps and towards the dead guy.

Landing the crow bar in his head wasn't hard, but it was exhausting. I was tired of defending myself. I slumped back away from the corpse and glanced around the forest. Chibs stood almost fifty yards from me, into the forest. He had something in his hands and he looked engrossed in it.

I headed for him, making sure to keep watch since he obviously wasn't. "Chibs, ya gonna get killed." I told him in a harsh whisper.

"Look at this." He told me, never moving from the spot to even look up.

"What's so important you gotta die over?" I asked him angrily.

He had a smile on his face when I got to the point of being next to him. "Look."

I looked down at what was in his hands. It was a torn piece of a map. In the center was a star, inside a hand drawn circle, with the word Terminus above it. "Sanctuary for all?" I asked quietly, reading what was written on it out loud.

Chibs smiled. I almost resented him for being so happy in these shitty situations when all I could do was want to cry. "Lass, this is it. We might survive." He told me passionately.

I rolled my eyes. "Or we'll end up like him." I said, gesturing to the walker that had picked up our scent and was slowly angling towards us. It'd lost part of its foot, but that didn't stop it from limping for all it was worth.

Chibs shook his head. "We're strong lass. He ain't." He spoke to me, nodding his head as he pulled out a knife and sank it into the guy's skull.

I looked back at the map in his hands, holding it for myself.

"How nice would it be to be able to sit down without watchin' yer back?" He asked softly. "Or to just lay and sleep without fear? God forbid they might have a shower." Chibs spoke to me.

I gave a stifled laugh. "Of course you'd be thinkin' 'bout your looks." I said quietly.

"We could survive; we could thrive." He repeated, watching me carefully.

I looked hard at the map, then up at the forest around us. The birds chirped and flew overhead. The bugs buzzed and clicked everywhere you looked. The world had changed, but it somehow remained the same in this one aspect. Another glance at the map and I had already made up my mind.

"Alright." I murmured.

He paused, watching me. "Whatcha mean, alright?"

"I mean alright. Let's go. We don't have another solid option right now." I told him, glancing back around the forest, always watching for trouble.

"Ya serious, lass?" He asked.

"Look. This map follows the railroad. We passed one yesterday, remember? The map must've gotten free of wherever it was put up on and ended up out here. We'll follow the railroad until we get close." I told him, gesturing to the map.

Chibs smiled a little bit. "Ain't lost ya yet." He told me, putting his arm around my waist and walking us back to the shack.

Chibs and I aimed back for the railroad. It was odd, walking along the ties like we were just out for a stroll. I knew we'd probably never see a train run again in my lifetime and it was an odd feeling. Would Judith ever see a train up and running, the way we used to see all the time? Or an airplane?

I thought it was funny how I was starting to miss all the things I'd taken for granted years ago. Trains, planes, not having to hunt for food constantly, having one house it was safe for you to stay in. I glanced at Chibs and wanted to know what he was thinking.

Did he think the same way I did? Did he miss the little things from before or was it just me? Did I just miss the easy life? I certainly wasn't doing very well at surviving this one.

"Ya thinkin' awful hard, lass." Chibs said gently from beside me.

I nodded. "Tends to happen."

"What about?" He asked.

"All the stuff we ain't gonna see again." I spoke softly, knowing loud noises attracted walkers and I didn't want to have to fight anything off right now.

Chibs nodded like he'd been thinking the same thing. "It's a hard life, but we're made for it."

I didn't agree. I knew Chibs was. If nothing else, he was better off now than he was before. I didn't know about myself though. I struggled every morning to get up and keep fighting. I didn't have much of a reason left to.

Kip was dead. Hershel was dead. Juice was dead. Daryl and Rick could be dead for all I knew.

I paused. Daryl wasn't dead. I knew that much. For as long as I could remember, Daryl and I had been the closest thing to the other person. He knew when I was sad, even when I didn't speak about it and I knew when he was angry, even though he covered it well most of the time. Daryl and I had a connection that couldn't be severed by time or distance, and my bones knew he was still alive.

At least I had that small comfort.

As the sun began its slow decent in the sky and the shadows of the world got a little longer, Chibs and I ducked off the railroad in search for a place to hole up for the night. I didn't know how far we were from this Terminus place, but I knew we weren't going to find it tonight.

We were barely half a mile from the tracks when we spotted a dilapidated barn, nearly falling in on itself. As we got closer, there was a series of moans from inside. I kicked the door and heard three different gurgling noises. I glanced back at Chibs, holding up three fingers to let him know. He nodded and gestured to the door, taking his fighting stance with the baseball bat he'd enjoyed carrying since we'd evacuated the prison.

I got a firm grip on the door and braced myself, taking a deep breath as I let the latch go and the door swung out. I shuffled back a few feet before landing the one closest to me in the head with the crowbar.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Chibs bust in the head of one of them. Wait… Chibs took one out, I had taken one out. I heard a sickly groan at my feet and startled. The walker had no lower half, pulling its rotting corpse along on bony hands that had the fingers broken off a while ago. Jumping with a start made me catch my boot on a tree root, sending me onto my back. I reached for the crow bar, but it'd fallen a few feet from me.

I kicked at the walker wildly, enough that I could crawl to the crow bar and send it flying through the air down towards him, skimming the flattened part off the dead guy's head. I hadn't swung right and it hadn't stopped him, only deterred him for a moment.

A grunt and the walker's head collapsed under the baseball bat in Chibs' hands. He was breathing as heavy as I was as he pushed his hair out of his face and held his hand out to me. I stood on shaky legs that threatened to cave in on me, but Chibs had no qualms with me leaning into him to support myself for this moment.

"Ya alright, lass? 'e get ya?" He asked.

I shook my head, wiping my dirty hands on the legs of my pants. "Nah. Just caught me off guard. Thanks."

He nodded, like there was no reason for me to be thanking me. "Look a bit pale, lass."

I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat, pushing away from him to stand on my own. "Thought I was done for. Never thought to check my feet. Guess that'll teach me." I told me with a strangled laugh.

"Don't beat yourself up. The difference between you and them is that you're human. They don't got no mistakes to make." Chibs told me, handing me back my crow bar.

I nodded. But a mistake could've cost me my life. Not that my life was worth a hell of a lot anymore, but I'd hate to go down because of some stupid mistake.

"C'mon lass. Let's get inside. Dark's comin'." Chibs told me, setting his hand on the small of my back and urging me into the now empty barn.

I nodded again, moving into the closed off space. We latched the door from the inside and moved some bales of old hay in front of it. It wasn't a big barricade, but it definitely wasn't letting a dead thing in.

We made a kind of fort out of the old hay and straw bales, since we only had a blanket a piece out of each of our packs. I longed for a bed and soft blankets to curl up in, but I knew we'd probably never have that type of life again. More than a bed though, I wanted to hunt. I wanted a spear or a bow or a gun with a silencer. I wanted to eat warm meat and smile because of a full stomach.

"Whatcha thinkin' of, love?" Chibs asked, letting me use his arm as a pillow as we laid down close to each other.

"Hunting." I told him quietly.

"Yeah?" He asked.

I nodded against his arm. "At least if I was hunting, I could get rid of this nervous energy and we'd have food to eat; even if it was a possum or a coon."

He smiled at me. "I like ya as a hick." I rolled my eyes at him. "If ya wanna hunt, I'll find ya somethin', lass."

"Thank you." I told him, curling up close to his chest, relishing the warmth of another body next to mine.