Bella's POV
One week of freedom. The best week of my life! I have been jittery and I have been having a really hard time adjusting but Jasper is making it easy for me. He doesn't get mad at me if I do something stupid or say something silly. He makes sure I eat enough and doesn't get angry if I get carried away and make a mess.
We have been fixing our home here. It has been wonderful. Peter and Alice both had a bunch of stuff here for us to fix up the house. Peter even had some DYI books on plumbing, carpentry, and other things on fixing up the house. I've read over all them and all the information has stuck. We have been working in perfect harmony for a week to fix this wonderful fairy tale cottage up. We have redone all the plumbing and tiled the bathroom and kitchen. It's easy to fix up a house at vampire speed when you don't need to sleep. Jasper doesn't yell at me if I do so something wrong or need his help with something. He's so willing to help.
I don't remember the last time I smiled like this. It has been so long since I have smiled or even truly laughed. He has me laughing all the time and it's not because he's manipulating my emotions he just makes me laugh.
"Bella do you want to work on your room today?" Jasper calls from the bathroom. He is just going over the cocking around the tub one last night. We took some space from the kitchen to make a larger bathroom that has a soaker tub and spa shower. We don't need to cook so we didn't mind losing the space but I insisted on keeping the stove incase Renesmee and Jake come. I was nervous when I told Jasper I still wanted a kitchen thinking he would yell at me and tell me I'm stupid and not to talk back to him but he just smiled and said that was smart.
"We can work on yours first if you want." We haven't worried too much about our rooms. We don't need sleep and have just been crashing on the old sofas in the living room. We have all new furniture in boxes but we don't want to pull it out until the house is fixed. I am getting the electric sander ready to fix up the flooring in his room. We can sand it down and restain it and have nice original hardwood floors.
Jasper appears in front of me and for a moment I flinch. I am so used to when a man just appears in front of me getting hit. I don't mean to I just tense up and close my eyes for a moment. Jasper leans down quickly and puts a reassuring hand on my cheek. "Woah, it's alright. Nothing is going to happen. Sorry I scared you darlin. I won't sneak up on you like that again." His southern draw has been coming out a lot more lately. We weave such lies at home on who we are and aren't that we lose ourselves to them sometimes. We both agreed we needed time to just be ourselves, even if our names are fake.
I lean into his touch for just a moment and relax. "Sorry I freaked out. I am just still a bit nervous I guess. He would just appear in front of me and…." My mind goes somewhere dark and scary. Somewhere I hope to never be again. Edward is in front of me and he hits me hard across the face. My cheek cracks. I can actually hear the crack of my body. I am lost in my thoughts. Immediately my body is surrounded in a cocoon of safety. Jasper is pumping happiness, peace, and serenity to me. He has been doing this every time my mind wanders.
"It's alright Bella. I am here. Nothing is going to happen to you ever again I swear." I believe him when he says things like that. I don't know why but I do.
Human. I can smell it coming. I jump up and Jasper puts a reassuring arm around my shoulders. I am filled with fear. What if the human is working for Edward and is here to find me. Jasper squeezes my shoulders. "Don't worry darlin' he is just going about his day. Nothing malicious or secretive going on with him." If Jasper isn't worried I'm not worried either.
There's a knock on the door and Jasper grabs my hand walks with me to the door and opens it. "Good mornin' is a Mrs. Jenning's here?" The man asks in a thick Irish accent.
After years of Edward's training I am still afraid to talk to someone without his permission. I look to Jasper for permission to speak. He gives me a reassuring smile telling me it's alright and sends me a bit of confidence. "That is me." I say quietly.
The delivery man hands me a thick envelope and I look at the address label and see Alice's scrawling handwriting. My heart starts to pound with excitement and then nervousness. What if she is warning me that Edward is coming? I start to panic but Jasper sends wave after wave of calmness at me and I start to relax. "I see you guys have been busy. This house was a mess!" The delivery man says with a smile.
Jasper smiles at him. "We have been working hard to make it more livable but we like it here already."
"My wife has been wanting to come down and visit the new neighbors but I told her she needed to give you both time to move in. Don't be surprised if you are flooded with visitors soon. It's not often we get newcomers to the island and American's at that." I like this man. I can feel his sincerity.
"Would you like to come in for some tea?" I ask nervously. I haven't made a move without asking permission in so long. I know we have some tea around here and it's the polite thing to do with a new neighbor.
The man smiles at me. "No thank you miss. I still have mail to deliver today. Oh sorry I have been so rude my wife would smack me upside the head if she could see me. My name is Sean MacLice." He says extending his hand. I get nervous and clutch on to Jasper's hand tighter and grab his arm with my free hand. He tries to calm me down and he extends his free hand.
"I am David Jennings and this is my wife Mary Ann." It feels so silly going by these new names but it's necessary. I finally relax my grip on Jasper and extend me hand to his. "Well it has been lovely meeting you both and I will be seeing you around soon." He then leaves.
Jasper turns around and gives me a tight hug. "You doing alright darlin?" He asks me drawling out the pet name darlin. I love how he says it compared to the cold way Edward would call me darling. I shake my head yes and clutch on to my envelope.
He leads me to the couch and we sit down and I open it quickly. There is a note from Alice folded up with my name on it. Behind the note is a stack of official looking papers. I want to read the note in private so I pull up the papers. I look down at them and a surprised gasp escapes my lips.
Divorce!
The word divorce scrolls on top of the paper. The mutual divorce of Edward Masen and Isabella Swan. Signed by both parties. I am holding a simple piece of paper but this piece of paper makes me free of him. I am Isabella Swan again, not Isabella Masen. I look up at Jasper and I can feel the venom filling my eyes. "I'm free Jasper." I say quietly.
He takes the papers and reads of them and smirks to himself. I hear him mutter something about Alice. He hands them back to me and grabs me into a tight hug and kisses me forehead. "I'm free Jasper. I am divorced. I guess we're both divorcee's now." I say with a smile.
"Actually you're the only divorcee in the house." He responds with a smirk. I tense up. I messed up. I made an assumption and he is going to be mad at my stupidity. I immediately start to try to back track. "I am sorry I just assumed that you and Alice had… oh god… I am really sorry." I start to panic and I stand up to leave his sight. He shouldn't have to look at me. I'm stupid and pathetic. I start to move but he grabs my hand gently but I still flinch waiting for him to rip off my hand or hit me.
"Isabella…" He says quietly. I like how he says my full name. "Why are you panicking? What is wrong?" He asks me genuinely worried. I don't know how to respond so he starts to talk to me through my gift. "Why are you so scared darlin?"
"I am sorry I made a stupid assumption about you and Alice. I thought she had said that you two got divorced awhile ago when she saw her mate for the first time. I was just making a careless comment."
Jasper's face relaxes into a smile and he pulls me back down on the sofa. "You weren't being careless. You were just saying what we wanted everyone to think. We never actually got married so we never had to get divorced."
I give him a confused look. I had seen their wedding photos I know they got married. "We had a ceremony for Esme and Carlisle but we never sent in the paper work. We both agreed we only ever wanted to be married to our mates and didn't want to them to be our second marriage."
"That's beautiful." I whisper out.
"We both only wanted to give ourselves once in name, body and soul." He seems a bit sad. I don't know why but I don't want to press him for information he's not ready to give either.
"I wish I had done the same thing. I am tainted now. I will always be Edward's wife first and everything else second. My time with him will forever mark my body. He has made it so I will always be his. I'm branded for eternity. I'm broken Jasper. I'm not lovable and I'm a damaged unfixable version of myself." I hate to sound so pathetic but it's what I know I am. Edward has made sure that the truth is ingrained in me.
Jasper doesn't talk for a moment and he just stares into my eyes. He lifts his hand and moves the hair out of my face. He traces the planes of my face and I relax into the calming sensation of him on my skin. "You are not tainted. You are not unlovable. You are not damaged and unfixable. You may feel broken but you will rebuild yourself and be stronger than before because of these experiences. In a few decades Edward will just feel like a blip on the radar of your past. You will find happiness again I promise you. After the wars and after I left I felt a lot like you do. I felt broken and damaged. Every horrible thing I have ever done is forever branded on my body as well." Jasper stops and stands up. He takes off his long sleeve tshirt and the tapestry that is the scars on his body glitter in front of me. I have seen small patches of his skin before but never his whole upper body before. He kicks off his boots and takes off his socks. He unbuttons his jeans and slides them off until he is standing in front of me in just his boxer briefs. "This is my history Bella. You can see every horrible thing I have done and seen on me. It's story book. There will come a time when are comfortable enough in your skin to accept that your scars aren't you."
I want to reach out and trace the scars on his body but that would be unforgiveable. Why would he want me to touch him? "They are beautiful Jasper." He tilts his head and gives me a confused smirk? "Beautiful?" He asks almost with a laugh.
I stand up and ache to touch the scars on his chest. "They are beautiful Jasper. They are a reminder of how strong and brave you are. You were, are, a fierce warrior who can protect himself. They are a reminder of who you were and what you did to survive and become the man you are today. Mine are different. I didn't fight I just let him do what he wanted to me. I am not a survivor I am a weak victim." I pull the ends of my sweater down over my hands. I don't want to think about the disgusting marks marring my skin.
He takes a step forward and pulls me into a tight hug. I like how his naked chest feels on my cheek and I don't think I just enjoy it for a moment. "You are a survivor too Isabella. Just wait you'll see." He says to me trying to reassure me. I don't want to let go of him but it's inappropriate of me to hold him any longer. I let go and stand back.
"Every night Bella I want you to stand in front of the mirror naked and tell yourself one thing new you like about yourself."
I shake my head no. "I can't." I nibble on my bottom lip. "Why?" He asks me.
"I can't look at myself in the mirror and think of anything I like. I hate myself and I can't stand to see my face in the mirror. Please don't make me." I beg him.
He takes a step forward and I flinch again. I have disobeyed and order. I should know better. He leans in and kisses my forehead. "Until you can do it I will do it for you." He steps back and looks me up and down. "The first thing I like about you is that you are kind. You take care of those less fortunate and you would never hurt anyone. Your kindness is unique in our kind Bella." He pushes his sincerity at me and I smile weakly and nod my head.
I lean down and pick up Alice's letter and I walk back to the hovel known has my room and sit down on the floor. I hold the letter to my nose and breathe in Alice. I miss her so much. I tear open the envelope and read her words to me.
Dear Bella,
I hope you are doing alright I know Jasper will take good care of you. Edward and the rest of the family believe everything. Renesmee and Jake and gone back to Washington for awhile and she said yes to his proposal so they are engaged!
Don't worry Edward didn't suspect anything when he signed this paper. He thought he was signing over property to Renesmee.
I am sorry but I can't tell our family the truth yet. I have to wait until my mate is a vampire. I am sorry I am weak and I have allowed all of this to happen but it's my mate and I can't Bella. Please forgive me, even though I can't forgive myself.
It will be a long time before we see each other but I will call you soon. Don't worry I have your new number.
Find happiness Bella and don't be afraid to find it where ever you can. There is nothing you could ever do to make me love you less. You are my best friend and my sister and I want you to be happy. You are going to have some hard times coming up adjusting to your new life. Trust Jasper he will not lead you astray.
I miss you so much Bella!
Love
Alice.
I reread her letter over and over again. I could never be mad at her for protecting her mate. I understand why she does it. I have protected my family just as fiercely. I feel better knowing for sure that Edward thinks I'm dead. I can relax just a bit.
There's a knock on my door and I jump up to answer it. "Ready to fix your floor?" Jasper asks with a smile. I tuck the letter in my pocket and shake my head yes. "Let's get to it!"
a/n sorry it took me so long to post the next chapter I just got caught up in the creative juices of my others stories more. Leave a review if you have a chance and thanks for reading!