Berlin-The Aftermath Chapter 21
After several minutes of staring, McGee took the initiative and said "What the hell just happened?"
He had made his way up to the door as Tony and Ziva parted, letting him enter the foyer. Tony closed the door behind him. Ziva and Tony made their way to the couch and McGee sat on the recliner.
Tony spoke next, barely recovering from his shocked expression "I don't know Tim. I am honestly at a loss for words."
Ziva remained quiet. She was stunned hearing Gibbs say no more rule 12.
The three of them were lost in their own thoughts for a moment. There was no hiding behind a rule that no longer existed. They all had a stake in this new freedom.
McGee's thoughts were of Abby and what she would say to this new development. Granted, they weren't really on the same team, so Rule 12 might not have been in place for them, but Abby had broken off their blossoming romance early on saying she would not break Gibbs rules.
Would she be willing to give them another chance?
Tony had decided to declare his love for Ziva but now he was scared. If she rejected him, well, he didn't want to think about that. There was no barrier holding them back now. He knew he needed to step up and take the chance. He knew it was now or never.
Ziva was consumed with guilt.
She cared deeply for Anthony DiNozzo. She had loved him for many years but had given up on them ever really being together. She enjoyed the flirting and sexual tension. They were excellent partners. She felt they were in sync, almost as much as Tony and Gibbs, when they were alone in the field.
She had been jealous of Jeanne Benoit's relationship with Tony. She had secretly delighted that their relationship had not lasted. How could it have been real, it was based on lies. But she knew Tony had really loved Jeanne and she felt sorry for Jeanne being so deceived. Ziva was not a stranger to deceit and being manipulated by men in her life. The man holding the number one position in that arena was her father. He was now dead and gone. Duty bound, she would avenge his death but at what cost?
Then there was Michael Rivkin. He had professed his love for her. She liked him, a lot, but she did not have the deep feeling for Michael as she had for Tony. When Tony had the run in with Michael, Ziva knew she had projected her own insecurities of jealousy on Tony. She threw it in his face and accused him of horrible things. She had hurt him physically in Israel, dropping him onto hard cement and threatening him with a gun. She added injury to his already damaged body. Now Michael's brothers were after Tony. Her fault yet again.
She berated herself mentally. He had taken every step to protect her from forces working against her. He had tried to protect her from herself and she had hurt him. Then there was Somalia. Thinking she was dead he came to avenge her only to find her alive. He saved her from the hell in which she was living. When they got back to D.C. the walls had come around them again. He found relief in the arms of E.J Barrett and, her with Ray Cruz. The new people in their lives left them disappointed and emotionally devastated. It always came back to the two of them, partners, friends….wanting more…..
They had been growing closer for months. Since they were trapped in an elevator and decided they would be more forthcoming as friends…each secretly desiring to take a step further. They both fought it and Rule 12 was a crutch they could count on.
Then her father was gunned down and Tony was there above and beyond. He had wanted to go with her to Israel. To help her with her father's burial but she would not accept his help. Tony had arranged for Schmeil to be there for her in his absence. He always put her first. Then she allowed herself to get lost in the arms of another man. In her grief and loneliness she slept with her friend Adam Eshel. She knew Tony may have suspected something was up when he met Adam in Berlin. She could tell Tony felt threatened and she could no longer deny Tony was very interested in her more than just friends.
As she made love to Adam her only thoughts were of Tony. She had betrayed both men.
Tony was always there for her.
Always.
She felt sick as she turned her head towards him and just watched him. She could see he was lost in his own thoughts.
"I do not deserve this man" she thought
She knew she would have to tell him about Adam. She hoped that Tony could forgive her.
A/N-I needed to finish my other FF story before I got back to this one so sorry for the delay to all of you reading. This chapter is short as I am trying to figure where to go with it. This story is going to go AU…things as I'd like them to be. Sad that Cote is leaving the show. I do hope there is some satisfactory TIVA before she is gone…and I definitely hope they do not kill her off. That said I hope to see a stronger Tony in the new season. I am sick of him being everyone's punching bag.
And, Ziva owes him a car…just saying.