A/N: This chapter marks the first major time jump in this story. I'll be completely honest…though I've outlined much of the content, I'm still undecided on how much I want to dedicate to Solace's backstory prior to After the Rain; his imprint and such. So, if there is interest, I'd love to hear from you.

As I've shared with the several readers who have personally reached out to me, I do not ship a Paul/Rachel pairing, so it is safe to say there will be no future connection between them (Hint, Hint). Lot of feels in this chapter… bring out your hankies.

M rating for language and themes

Chapter 19

The alarm's loud ringing forced his eyes open. Solace's head turned towards the offensive gadget...6 AM…he'd need to hurry. His body felt heavy with slumber, seeming as if he'd only just fallen asleep. He stumbled onto the bathroom, catching a glimpse of a limp arm in their mirror's reflection. The sluggish wolf made his way towards the guestroom, pushing the door open. Paul lay fast asleep, his bare arm hanging limply off the bed. Must've been a rough night for his friend; it wasn't often he sought the comfort of their home.

The scent of sex was unmistakable, and Solace wondered who'd captured the older wolf's attention for the night. Paul had considered trying at a serious relationship with Rachel, but in the end his noble side won out. He was very much attracted to her, but it reeked of rebound, and Paul didn't want to hurt her any more than he'd already had. It was ironic really…the pack had betted on him having the most volatile reaction after Leah's departure, but the suffering and damage was self-contained, unlike Jacob and Seth's…

Solace set the coffee maker on before jumping into the shower; the frosty cold water rousing him awake. Oliver met him half-way down the stairs; the exhausted looking wolf greeting him with a slight nod as he made his way up the stairs in search of his bed. Patrols were running them all ragged; less wolves meant double patrols. Brady was doing his best with the assignments; it wasn't like he'd been properly instructed, but they were all grateful to the young father for stepping up to the task.

The pack was functioning on auto-pilot these days…what was left of them. They had no Beta and no third, and Solace was managing as best he could to help maintain a sense of order. Jacob was…well, gone. He didn't know how else to put it. He was physically present, but his mind and authority were only existent sporadically. Seth and Embry's departure had broken something inside of him, and he'd yet to overcome the loss. Sam had officially retired; guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders. No one in the pack blamed him, but the last time Solace had patrolled with the ex-Alpha, he'd tasted the sourness of his guilt-ridden thoughts.

He claimed partial responsibility for Leah and Embry's departure. There wasn't much he could've changed in his strained relationship with the she-wolf, but would things have been different if he'd claimed Embry as his brother? Solace didn't know, but it didn't really matter anymore. It was done. The young wolf yawned as he drove up to the red sided house. Ness was already waiting at the door; a slight shake of her head alerting the young wolf, it wasn't a good day for their beloved Alpha. There were good days, when a bearded Jacob managed to muster the composure to make it into the shop.

Solace lived for those days; when his Alpha would lose himself in his work. Both wolves working side by side till the late hours of the night harmoniously, with Jacob imparting sage advice about cars and life. But there were also days like today, when Solace would have to deal with all the orders in the shop while managing the staff, the demanding clients, and all the every-day shit that came with the pack. Quil helped on those days, but he had his hands full with a rebellious Claire.

Solace kissed the fair-skinned woman on the cheek; receiving the payroll checks in silence as he waved to the smiling girl by her side. Genevieve was growing in spurts, nowhere near Renesmee's accelerated pace, but Carlisle had theorized they coincided with the full moon. She demonstrated no other signs of the supernatural, but her moods were erratic and Oliver's sunny personality usually pulled her out of her surly temperament.

Solace sighed as he read the lengthy text lighting up his phone, as he drove towards the shop. Their receptionist had officially resigned, and it didn't take a genius to figure out the why. He'd deal with that later, but the priority was getting some much-needed help until a replacement could be hired. He dialed a familiar number urgently, a warm voice picking up on the other side.

"No need to grovel Solace…Brady patrolled with Tokola last night. He said you would probably be needing my help. I only have one condition…"

"It's yours…whatever you want"

Anna chuckled on the other side, regretting not holding out for more.

"I gotta bring Ethan along with me…I'll see about Emily babysitting next week"

"Done…and Anna?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you…" His voice was thick with gratitude.

They were all struggling, but they were clinging to one another for support. Each pack member stepping up in their own way…even Paul. His personal life was a fucking mess, but he was taking a shit load of patrols to give the rest of them the allowance of work. Collin, Brady and Oliver were working themselves to the ground, trying to make their business profitable. Babies meant more mouths to feed, and though Michelle was taking as many nursing shifts as the hospital allowed, she'd also joined the "mama wolf club", and like Anna, was struggling with balancing the responsibilities of work and spending time with her son, Sebastian. It seemed fitting to Solace that even though they were young and far from being financially profitable, Collin and Brady would be raising their children together.

Solace walked into the cold garage, turning up the heat as he flicked the lights on. It was a comfortable temperature for the wolves, but they still had appearances to maintain. He picked up his pack brother's scent; Tokola meeting him with a sheepish grin. The observant wolf answered with an annoyed look of his own.

"Come on man, it wasn't my fault…"

Solace's brow raised in disbelief.

"Stop fucking the help Tokola"

The cheeky wolf grinned mischievously, but nodded his acceptance. Solace hated the feeling of responsibility. It wasn't like they'd voted on who'd take charge when Jacob wasn't around, but it appeared he'd been wordlessly selected. The reserved wolf favored keeping to himself, but even as a child, he'd struggled with remaining uninvolved in the face of adversity. It had earned him Oliver's unwavering friendship, and Solace couldn't deny his contentment in having intervened on his behalf so long ago.

Their Alpha needed them now…Nessie was relying on them as well. She was buckling under the pressure of keeping her marriage and livelihood whole. Jacob was a shadow of the man she knew him to be, and was growing desperate in her inability to snap him out of his funk. There were times Solace wavered with calling Seth for advice, but pride and resentment kept him from picking up the phone. Paul was right…pack wasn't just about belonging. It required loyalty and sacrifice, and as much as he respected his former Beta, he'd turned his back on them when they'd been injured.

They were wounded, but not beaten…So, Solace listened and observed; took heed when Billy spoke, and would ask himself 'What would Jacob do?' The old pack was no more, and if they were to endure this, there could be no further finger pointing or discord. That much was clear. Jacob would come out of this; Solace believed this to be true. He had too, because Solace wasn't equipped to lead; was convinced he was nowhere near the man that Jacob was, and didn't have it in him to try.

He pulled the garage door open, smiling at the curvy woman making her way towards him; a blue-eyed baby in her arms. Solace pulled Ethan out of Anna's arms, dipping down to place a grateful kiss on her caramel colored cheek as he passed her a warm cup of coffee.

"Uh-huh...play pen's in the trunk boys"

Tokola rushed towards Brady's old Corolla, removing the small playpen and installing it in the grungy office. Solace smiled as he watched Anna take stock of the pile of work orders scattered across the desk. The young wolf cooed at the happy infant, ignoring the profanity coming out of his mother's mouth. Remy, Genevieve, Ethan and Sebastian were the future of this pack. It filled him with hope; solidified his faith in the belief that if they stuck together, they could wither any storm that came their way.

So, he readied himself for another long day; working at the fastest pace possible without compromising the quality of the work they were known for. He passed out the payroll checks at the end of the day, and went in search of his Alpha's approval in bringing Anna on staff, at a higher starting rate. She was a bookkeeper after all, and they could highly use her expertise. But she couldn't afford taking a pay cut, even if to help the pack.

Solace followed the scent of pine and earth through the snow-covered trails. The Alpha's scent felt like home, and he welcomed the aroma. Jacob sat on a fallen redwood, silently observing a wolf and her cubs. Wolves around those parts recognized their lupine scent, and for the most part granted them the respect of the territory. But food was scarce, and she must've been desperate enough to take the risk to feed her pups.

"She shouldn't be out here alone with those pups. Her pack should be the ones hunting for her"

Jacob's voice dripped with sadness and regret.

"Maybe they are, and she became too impatient to wait…"

Jacob turned; a look of fondness and appreciation swimming in his eyes.

"Or maybe she didn't think they'd have her back, and took matters into her own hands. Blind loyalty can be risky around these parts. Winter is here…"

This was a dangerous conversation; one Solace wasn't ready to have.

"Whitney quit last night…Anna's agreed to come on, but we'll need to pay her at a higher rate. Are you OK with that?"

Jacob held Solace's gaze with intent; the younger wolf squirming under his scrutiny.

"I trust you Solace…do what you think is right"

Solace was floored...frustration and outrage bubbling inside of him. Solace had done nothing to merit this kind of trust. This was HIS pack, HIS livelihood…and…and…Solace could fuck it all up in an instant.

"WHY…...?"

The question was out of his mouth before he could filter his thoughts, and Jacob smiled sadly. The pack had been one giant clusterfuck after Seth's declaration; disjointed and undone. Jacob had walked away from them all that day, and Solace had felt their bonds snapping away, one by one. In a moment of total disarray, Solace realized the remaining wolves hadn't truly understood what had occurred. Jacob had released them all, doubtful of his ability to lead, and determined to grant them all the choice of walking away.

Desperation and fear of being alone had driven Solace to do the unthinkable. He'd done a piss poor job, but he'd managed to clumsily pull them all together. The bonds felt weak without Jacob's strong grip, but it'd been enough to provide a sense of congruence. Jacob was keenly aware of this of course; partly curious, partly in awe of the young introverted wolf. The Alpha recognized Solace's dominance, and yet felt no threat to his reign. A part of him wondered if he'd be better equipped to lead, but knew it was his inner turmoil and grief speaking.

Solace was special…Jacob knew this, but the young wolf had his own demons to battle before truly being able to lead. And it didn't matter what the Alpha though, because the mere idea of leading, brought Solace much repulsion.

"Because the pack trusts you, Solace. You don't see what I see…"

Jacob's eyes lingered on the she-wolf a few seconds longer before turning back towards the reservation. It was devastatingly humbling for the Alpha…the loyalty he inspired. He didn't understand it, felt nowhere deserving of it, yet it remained. He'd released them all, and even though Solace had managed to haphazardly glue them all together, there was no governing influence keeping them in place. But they remained…

Jacob wanted to be deserving of that loyalty, but he'd lost something essential inside of him, and didn't know how to get it back. He knew things couldn't continue this way. He took stock of the bare trees and barren woods; the heavy and gloomy feeling of winter matched his dark and low-spirited thoughts. He thought back on Aguta's words. He'd been right…he hadn't been ready for what was to come. How does one prepare themselves for such loss? Jacob didn't know…

A part of him knew he should be grateful to the wolves that remained by his side, not to mention what he was doing to his own family. Billy's health had seen better days, and Jacob knew if he'd lose him now, it'd be his breaking point. Feelings of failure washed over him…he was failing as a husband…failing as a son…and failing as a leader. Self-pity was an allowance he couldn't afford. Maybe Bella was right…maybe he should consider grief therapy. The Alpha had laughed at the suggestion on their last phone chat, but he was desperate enough to try anything…

He took in his unkept front yard; more guilt hitting in waves at his lack of attention to his own home. The smell of stew filled his nostrils and his belly growled…He couldn't remember the last time he'd eaten, and made a point to sit with his father, wife and child for a meal. Jacob entered his home; the silence and emptiness doing nothing for his spirits. He pulled his phone out his pocket for a quick glance. It was Friday night, and his wife was at the studio teaching one of her dance classes. Had she been forced to take Genevieve with her? Had he agreed to watch her for the night? Jacob couldn't recall. More guilt…

He set out to prepare an impromptu meal; setting four plates of food on their dining room table, determined to do something right. The stalling rumbling of their approaching SUV told him he'd need to look under the hood before she drove it out again. Jacob rose to his feet; the frigid wind kissing his skin as he opened the front door of their home. He didn't wait for the engine's purring to silence, before removing his daughter from her booster seat. Genevieve greeted him with a toothy smile, reaching for his massive arms.

Renesmee's eyes widened at seeing her husband's spark of life. She was startled, but welcomed his eagerness to help bring the bags of groceries inside their home. Nessie took stock of the plates laid out on the table; a slight queasiness hitting her weak stomach. She had no taste for food tonight, but she'd force the food down her throat. She had no intention of spoiling her husband's good mood. Ness tried for her best smile; hope building inside of her.

Jacob smiled back as he led her by the hand towards the meal. Renesmee played it coy, focusing on helping Genevieve with her supper. Jacob gobbled down his food, clearly famished while inquiring about Billy remorsefully. The elder spent most of his time at Sue and Charlie's these days; the trio pulling strength and comfort from each other at the loss of their children. Billy mourning Jacob's loss as well.

"You're not eating…what's the matter? You don't like the food?"

Nessie was a terrible liar, and Jacob always knew when she tried, so she weighed her next words carefully.

"I'm just tired, Jacob. I ate a sandwich before class…don't have much of an appetite tonight. Thank you though, it was sweet of you".

Not a total lie, but still…

Jacob's eyes narrowed, and Nessie looked away towards the fridge, opting for pouring herself and Genevieve a glass of milk. The sudden movement and mixture of scents coming from the fridge made her stomach turn. Her supernatural speed on full display as she ran towards the bathroom stall, emptying the contents of her earlier meal. Jacob followed in alarm, holding her copper ringlets out of her face as she continued to heave violently.

The Alpha brought a cold, moist towel to her forehead, pulling her body closer to his on instinct. Was she ill? Had he been so distracted with his own pity party that he'd failed to take notice of his wife's declining health. Her pallor was evident, her heart beating at an alarming rate, and as he wrapped his arms around her, he took notice of her loss in weight. Panic struck him, as Nessie's own dread traveled to him courtesy of her gift.

"I'm sorry Jacob…I 've been so distracted, I don't know how it happened. I promise, I didn't plan this…"

Her voice cracked with her small sobs; a flood of memories and emotions filling him at once. Nessie's joy and regret…missed pills…Michelle and Anna's smile as they hovered over the small kit with a clear + symbol. Jacob stilled…his lupine ears picking up a foreign heartbeat. The Alpha felt the air leave his lungs, a torrent of sentiments engulfing him. He felt the familiar tremors rolling down his spine; he was angry…angry at himself.

Nessie was scared…scared of his reaction. Worried that the coming of their child would only put more burden on his shoulders. Jacob felt sick with himself, and it was the light fluttering against his hand, that bestowed him the control needed to still and speak.

"No, Nessie…I'm the only one that needs to be sorry, baby. I'm sorry that you felt you couldn't share this with me sooner"

Jacob wiped the running mascara from her teary eyes; placing a kiss on her supple lips and shushing her protests silent. Her breath smelled of bile, her cheeks were a teary mess, but Jacob had never felt her more beautiful. A new form of shame filled him, but he was done playing the victim. They were all suffering through this loss, but he was damned if he was going to allow it to dictate their future.

The Alpha rose from the floor, carrying his wife and curious daughter into their bedroom. He shed tears of joy that night, cradling his wife's belly with newfound hope; planning and fantasizing at the future. Jacob awoke at the early morning hours, smiling at his father warmly as he received the large mug of coffee before leaving out the house. Solace, Quil and Tokola were already at work; their eyes widening in surprise as they tracked the Alpha into the office. Jacob took in Ethan's blue eyes, as he peered at him from his playpen.

Anna stuttered incoherent words about finding childcare, but the Alpha shook her words away; insisting they invest in making the office more child-friendly. Things hadn't magically changed; the loss of Embry, Seth, and Leah ever present in his heart. Shit was not going to be easy and some days would be better than others, but Jacob understood the meaning behind Aguta's question clearly. Would he choose to rule, or choose to lead? Any born monarch could order his or her subjects around…but leaders weren't born, they were made.

Leaders stuck around when shit was at its worse. Jacob met Solace's gaze; a mixture of relief, pride, and awe swimming in his brown orbs, filling the Alpha with a sense of honor and duty to uphold the loyalty and respect entrusted to him. He reached for them all, taking in their worry and pain…Paul's loss, Sam's guilt, Quil's pain…all their anxiety and fear. He didn't have all the answers, but he owed them the same loyalty and devotion, they'd shown him. He would lead, not because he was chosen, or stronger than the rest…he would lead because this was his family, his livelihood…this was their legacy.

Playlist

I Get Overwhelmed-Dark Rooms

Waves (Guitar Acoustic)- Dean Lewis

Appointments-Julien Baker