AN: So last chapter was pretty devastating for some of you. I'm sorry for that but it had to happen. The next few chapters won't be much easier on the feels I'm afraid. Just try and bear with me. Trigger Warnings: Discussions of suicide, drugs and mentions of sexual abuse. Please use caution while reading. My beta, Haleigh, took a much needed vacation so this chapter was beta'd by the lovely Nicki, oncertwice. If you aren't reading School Days you should be. Only other high school AU out there. Thank you Nicki. I also wanted to thank those of you who reviewed the last chapter, I received a pretty strong response from it and I'm overall fairly pleased. You guys are awesome. Enjoy chapter 21…

Live Wire

Chapter Twenty-One

Part of Robin was happy that Killian had decided to come and stay with him for the remainder of the school year, up until college, and Roland enjoyed having a big brother figure around full-time. He was currently sharing a room with Roland, not that he minded, he had endured worse. It was certainly a step above sleeping the couch and it most certainly wasn't the king sized bed in Emma's room at her penthouse.

Killian allowed his mind to drift to Emma in his moments of silence that morning. He hadn't talked to her in a few days and today was the first day back from winter break. He was frightened to face her. What would she say? What wouldn't she say? What needed to be said?

"Killian!" the sound of Roland's boisterous voice echoed through his mind, his tiny feet hitting the carpet as he ran full force, flopping onto his body that was currently laying on a twin size mattress placed on the floor. Killian groaned, his eyes closing in pain, Roland ringing his short stubby arms around his neck.

"Killian, Dad says it's time for school!" he announced excitedly, having way too much energy at this ungodly hour.

"Your dad has got to stop feeding you name brand cereal in the morning. Too much sugar…" he grumbled, shrugging the child off of him, Roland rolling onto the floor beside him in a fit of giggles. Killian rolled over onto his stomach, digging his head underneath his pillow before being tackled again by Roland. Roland picked himself up, jumping up and down on Killian's back that was covered by the comforter.

"Dad!" bounce, "says!" bounce, "get!" bounce, "up!" each word followed by a bounce, rattling his entire body before the child collapsed on top of him.

"Time to get up for school," Robin called out, leaning against the doorway. Killian lifted his head, Roland sliding off his back and onto the opposite side of the mattress that wasn't occupied by his legs.

"That's what I told him, Dad, but he wouldn't listen!" Roland stood pointing blame in Killian's direction.

"Well, aren't you just a little firecracker this morning!" Killian mentioned, sitting up to sweep Roland off his feet and tucking him onto his chest, Roland laughing wildly at the gesture.

"Killian!" Roland squealed in protest, trying to get away from his hold.

"What time is it?" Killian asked his surrogate father.

"Quarter past six," Robin replied, sipping his coffee.

"Bloody hell, I'm going to be late!" Killian jumped up from the mattress and ran down the hallway towards the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"Language!" Robin reminded him.

"Sorry!" Killian apologized from inside the bathroom, causing Robin to shake his head at the madness that was his life right now.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian arrived just as the bell rang for 1st period, breaking out into a full on run into the building and to his class.

"You're late Mr. Jones," Mr. Mendell chided as Killian walked to his usual spot in the back of the classroom.

"Sorry, Mr. Mendell, it won't happen again," Killian politely excused, tossing himself down into his seat.

"See to it that it doesn't." he cautioned.

Killian glanced over at the seat next to him to see the seat empty and unoccupied. Maybe she changed seats? Killian's eyes scanned the crowd of seated students, none were his Emma. I hope she's alright.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE

Killian packed up his things when the bell rang and quickly filed out of the classroom with the rest of his classmates. He walked down the hallway, a quick flash of short black hair catching his attention.

"Mary Margaret!" he called out to her. Mary Margaret abruptly turned, stomping towards him angrily. Killian was too busy in his own thoughts to notice her scary expression.

"Great, Mary Margaret, have you seen—" he began before receiving a hard slap to his cheek. Killian groaned, his hand instinctively going to rub at the reddening hand print.

"You son of a bitch! I warned you! I told you if you hurt that girl that I would hurt you! You looked me in the eye and told me you wouldn't hurt her! You stupid, lying, son of a bitch!" she screamed, her tiny fists raining punches down onto his body in blind fury. Mary Margaret worked herself up, tears sliding down her cheeks, her face flushed red as her hands became sloppier.

"Mary Margaret please—" he pleaded with her, digging his hands into her shoulders to pry her off of him, the words dying on his lips when he caught sight of her distraught expression. "Mary Margaret?" he questioned, his head tilting in confusion before Mary Margaret sunk into his arms, choking on her sobs. Killian crushed her against his body, his hand coming to hold the back of her head as she let it all out against his shoulder. He rocked her gently, trying to calm her quietly with soothing words, her shoulders shaking with her loud cries.

"Mary Margaret, you need to calm down and tell me what happened. Where's Emma?" He pulled her off of him, a hand on each side of her tear-streaked face, leaning down to her level to look her directly in the eye.

"Hospital…" she choked out followed by a few hiccups.

Killian's vision blurred, his bag falling from his shoulder onto the floor with a thump, his entire world running in slow motion, his breath catching in his throat, tears brimming his eyes, the feeling of helplessness overwhelming his senses as a little piece of him died.

"When…" his voice fell into a low whisper. Mary Margaret shook her head in despair, willing for words that she couldn't begin to say aloud.

"Mary Margaret!" he barked, startling her, "when?" he repeated softly, tears threatening to fall.

"Just a few days ago…" she shuttered.

"Why? Why didn't anyone call me!" he demanded, the anger coursing through his veins, his voice raw with emotion.

"She asked me not to but I thought she was being unreasonable. She needs you, Killian," she sighed, sucking back her tears.

"Where?" he demanded.

"Bellevue," she said, Killian already taking off past her, desperate to get to Emma as fast as he could.

KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKKE

Killian raced to the hospital on his motorcycle, weaving in and out of the heavy mid-morning Manhattan traffic. Not that time of day mattered in this city, traffic was always busy. Killian was impatient and desperate in his pursuit. She needed him and nothing was going to keep him from seeing her.

Killian arrived at the hospital doors at a quarter 'til ten after parking his bike in the garage across the street. Killian ran up the steps into the ICU, stopping at the nurse's station to inquire after Emma.

"Emma Swan, please," he told then nurse on duty, his hands gripping the edge of the circular desk with acute nervousness.

"Emma Swan… Emma Swan… Emma Swan…" the nurse repeated over and over again as she scanned her list of room numbers.

"Today, please!" he growled out of frustration at the peppy upbeat nurse.

"Emma Swan, here she is. Go down this hall turn to the right, it's the second door on the left," she instructed. Killian slapped the counter top and ran in the direction she provided to him.

"Wait, sir! Family only!" she yelled after him, but Killian was too intent to care. He reached the door, his chest sinking at the sight of Emma curled up in a hospital bed, sleeping. She looked awful, miserable even.

"Sir you need—" the nurse interrupted his thoughts.

"I'm her brother…" he shot back to silence her.

The nurse gave a curt nod, backing away from him in silence, giving him privacy.

She looked weak, very different from the Emma he was used to. The Emma he knew was proud and confident. Not this. Killian stumbled into the room, taking the few steps to her hospital bed and leaning over her crumpled up form. He lightly traced the hand that was bound to the frame with a plastic zip tie. What had she done to herself? Killian looked at her sadly, his fingers smoothing her hair that felt as though it hadn't been washed in days. He carefully brushed a few stray hairs from her face, Emma gently rousing from her sleep. Emma moaned, canting her head towards the source of her alertness to see Killian above her, a careful hand stroking her blonde locks.

"Killian…" Emma said weakly from the bed, her eyes steadily adjusting to the sight of him, her mind arguing with herself that he was nothing but a cruel dream, "is it really you?" she asked, her red, puffy eyes blinking back unshed tears.

"I'm here now… shhh…" he afforded her a sad, tight-lipped smile and pulled her into his arms, his hand continuing their motions against her hair. He dug his chin into her shoulder, not allowing her to see how distraught she had made him, his mouth opening and closing with silent sobs. She didn't need that right now.

"Killian, I was so afraid I had lost you. I'm so sorry…" her cries were muffled against his shoulder, "so sorry…" she chanted, her entire body wracked with sobs.

"It's okay… it's okay… I'm not going anywhere…" Killian promised her, her body noticeably relaxing in his arms after he had said it.

Once Emma was calm enough, Killian pulled away from her slightly, a hand on each of her tear stained cheeks to get a better look at her. "Emma you have to tell me what happened…" he pleaded with her, "what happened after I left that night?"

"I can't…" she sniffled, her eyes clamping shut as the pain of her ordeal assaulted her senses.

"Yes. Yes, you can. Whatever it is, we will get through it together." He reasoned with her as his hand continued to smooth her hair, "What happened that night?" he repeated, a little more sternly, sensing her apprehension.

"Promise me you won't be mad. Promise me you won't leave me again," she babbled on, her voice raw with her sobs.

"Emma, I told you, I'm not going anywhere," he confirmed.

"You said that last time and you left me! I can't go through that again, Killian!" her voice was frantic with panic.

"Shhhh…" he whispered, pulling her further into his arms to calm her, his mouth opening and closing with the proof of his own emotions.

"I wish I could hold you back…" she mumbled against his shoulder, her hands tugging at her restraints. Killian pulled back slightly, his fingers tracing a bound hand.

"Emma… did you?" he choked out, his voice hoarse with regret and pain.

"No. It was an accident, I promise. This was just a precaution."

His features visibly relaxed at her admission.

"After you left, I had a panic attack so I…" she insinuated, not willing the words to come.

"I took your pills…"

"I had others… Killian, I'm so sorry. It was an accident… I didn't mean to," she pleaded with him, afraid that he was going to leave her again.

"Emma, what happened at the club? When I found you—" He stopped mid-sentence, unable to finish, he didn't even want to think about the position he saw her in the other night.

"When you left for the bathroom, Neal…"

"Wait, Neal was there?" he interrupted. Emma nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat before continuing.

"Neal cornered me and he… he…" she stammered, her head shaking back and forth as the visions assaulted her mind.

"He touched you?" Killian's voice lowered into a feral growl, "I'll fucking kill him!" His fist tightened on the tough plastic railing of the bed, so hard Emma thought he would snap it.

"Killian, please, calm down," she tried.

"Emma, why didn't you tell me? I could have helped you! I should have been there! Fuck!" he rambled, placing blame on himself.

"Killian, there's nothing you could have done. If it hadn't happened then, it would have happened some other time…" she assumed.

"How far did he take things?"

"Not far… he drew too much attention and left. His hands were all wrong…" she recalled, the disgust clear on her face at the memory and adding, "they weren't yours…" Her eyes were sad and full of regret even though she knew she had nothing to feel bad about, at least about this. "After that I just kind of shut down and the pills were the only way I knew how to fix it…" she said remorsefully.

"How long, Emma?"

"Before you," she said plainly, her eyes closing in shame.

"Emma, you have a problem," he told her.

"Do you think that I don't already know that!" she snapped, "I've tried everything else, this is the only think that works!"

"And see how well they worked this time. Emma, I won't stand by and watch you destroy yourself like this. I love you too much—" His voice broke, his eyes red with unshed tears.

"I know. Sometimes I don't blame you for leaving but it's hard Killian. I've tried, and it's so hard…" she whimpered from the stress of it all.

"Emma, you have to promise me you're going to get help. Promise me that you will get better because I can't lose you," he pleaded with her in earnest.

"I'll get help… I'll get help…" her voice broke into another sob, "I promise…" she cried.

"I'll be here for you every step of the way. I promise you, Emma," he vowed, holding her in his arms while she sobbed into the crook of his neck.

There was no way of knowing what the future had in store for them but until then they would just have to operate on blind faith.

AN: So Emma is getting help which is good. So this next part is going to be separated into two chapters. Killian's and Emma's. We will see Emma's first then Killian's. I'm very excited for the next chapter. It's going to explain a lot of stuff and give you move backstory. It will be told from her point of view. I also really enjoyed the exchange between Mary Margaret and Killian. It has been one of my favorite scenes to write to date and I hope that you guys enjoyed it. The big chapter is scheduled for Tuesday. So until then. –Cat