Author's Note: Yes, yes, yes! You all read your email correctly. I have an update for you! A big thank you to everyone who has been waiting so patiently for an update. It's been 21 months since I last updated Poison Ivy. A hectic 21 months, but still a long time to wait for an update. I love you all.
Review Props: Mavis Vermillion Dreyar, Gracfully
"When did Dad get replaced with a pod person?" Tim hissed at Sarah once their aunts and uncles followed their parents back into the kitchen. He ignored the whispers from their cousins.
"No bloody idea. That's the first time I've seen him act unexpectedly since I got here," Sarah replied. "To be honest, I was thinking he was going to react like Aunt Betsy did."
"You and me, both," Tim said.
"Timothy, it has been a long time since you've had a regular discussion with your father. You cannot possibly know what has happened in his life since you last saw him," Evelyn inserted.
"I get that. But Dad is a man of habit and routine. It comes from his time in the Navy. He should have had some kind of reaction like the others."
"Timothy," Evelyn chided with a look. "You're arguing about habits with a psychologist. I assure you that whatever happened is for the better if it led to your father not blowing up on you at first look. Now, why don't we take the opportunity to go speak with him?"
"I don't know. I think maybe we should..." Tim began, stopping when Evelyn turned on her heel and headed for the kitchen. "Evelyn, wait."
Tim and Sarah followed Evelyn into the kitchen, both of them anticipating having to break up an argument as their aunt sunk her metaphorical teeth into Evelyn a second time.
"So, Mr. McGee. Sarah tells me you've read Schizo. How did you like it?" Evelyn asked as she took a seat at the breakfast bar, across from where David was setting up the mounds of disposable dinnerware.
"Wonderful novel. I can tell you right now that retirement is far more boring than expected when you come from an action-heavy career like I did, so it isn't easy to find something that'll keep me entertained. A friend from the Y suggested the novel after I mentioned going stir-crazy. Once I started reading it, I couldn't put it down. I haven't been that enthralled by a thriller since I first saw The Sixth Sense," David rambled. Evelyn gave Tim an amused look when she recognized which parent he got his fanboy-dom from. Say the right word and it wasn't likely that either of them would shut up.
"Why, thank you. I had a great time writing it. It's always great hearing what the readers think of it," Evelyn said.
"Wait, what?" David did a double-take, his hands frozen in the middle of what he was doing.
"Thank you. I had a great time writing Schizo," Evelyn repeated with a grin.
"You... you wrote Schizo?" David asked in disbelief, a look of awe growing on his face.
"Yes," Evelyn replied. "It's how I met your son, actually. He and I both attended a writer's convention a few months ago and..."
"Oh, my god!" David exclaimed, interrupting Evelyn. "You are Lynn Price!"
Evelyn threw another amused look at Tim, who was torn on whether or not he should save his girlfriend from the on-coming fanboy rant his father was about to do. One, he understood what it was like to get in-your-face treatment from fans. But two, it would keep his father and Evelyn occupied enough that his other relatives wouldn't attempt to make more remarks at Evelyn about her age. It hardly helped that Tim's mother was still occasionally throwing a dark look at Evelyn, like Aunt Betsy was.
"Gonna save her?" Sarah whispered to Tim.
"In a minute," Tim answered. "Maybe."
"The guys at the Y are not going to believe me when I tell them," David continued. He forgot about his task completely and gripped the counter tightly in an attempt to keep himself from flailing his hands in excitement.
"Well, we're just going to have to remedy that, aren't we?" Evelyn said as a mischievous look grew on her face. She slipped off the stool and walked around the breakfast bar, taking her phone out and turning its camera on. "Selfie culture for the win."
Tim and Sarah watched with open mouths as Evelyn pulled their father into a side hug so she could take a photo of them both with her phone. David immediately returned the side hug so he and Evelyn were in the photo equally, grinning like an idiot.
"I'm going to have to send this to you so you can show them the next time you go," Evelyn said as she checked the picture for quality.
"If you can, email it. They're older than I am. No way they're going to be able to see it on my screen. I'll have to show them on a computer," David joked.
"No problem. Fill your address in for me," Evelyn said. She handed her phone over to David once she pulled up the 'Email Image' option.
"Dear, the dinnerware isn't going to set itself up," Jennifer spoke up. She had a tighter grip on the silverware she was wrapping than was strictly necessary.
"Yeah, because our family is ignorant enough that they can't find it unless it's stacked in front of them," David muttered before returning Evelyn's phone and going back to stacking the various plates he just bought.
"What else have you been doing since you retired, Mr. McGee?" Evelyn said. She gave Tim a look and jerked her head towards the table, telling Tim to deal with his mother. "There's only so many times you can read even a good book until you need other things to do."
Tim sighed and nudged Sarah to get her to approach the kitchen table with him. This was certainly a change of events. Tim's father seemed normal as he spoke with Evelyn, and it was Tim's mother who was upset after his arrival.
"Hey, Mom, are we still getting some pints from Richardson's for tomorrow?" Sarah asked as she and Tim sat down. Sarah adopted an excited look as she spoke about her favorite custard shop.
"Maybe. It depends on how much room we have left in the freezer," Jennifer replied.
"There's more than enough stuff in there, Sarah. You don't need any ice cream," Betsy insisted, waving her hands as if it was a ridiculous idea to even suggest buying ice cream.
"It's August, Aunt Betsy, and Sarah hasn't been able to afford to come home in months," Tim said with a terse tone. "Sarah, go check the freezer. If there's room, I'll drive you, myself."
"Tim, I said..." Betsy began.
"I know what you said," Tim hissed back. He wasn't in the mood to play along with Betsy taking her frustrations with him out on Sarah. "You have no say on how I decide to spend my paychecks. If I want to go buy several gallons from Richardson's and let them melt on the back patio, then I'm going to do it. Sarah, go check the freezer for room."
Sarah gave Tim a panicked look before getting up as she was ordered.
"Tim, do not be talking to your aunt like that," Jennifer chided with a look of disbelief that Tim would have such attitude.
"Then she needs to stop acting like she has a say on anything that goes on here. Last I checked, Mom, this was your and Dad's house," Tim said. "If you tell your daughter yes for something, Aunt Betsy has no right to be saying no."
"Typical, disrespectful, little brat," Betsy snapped.
Tim turned to glare at her, baited. He opened his mouth to say something that'd show her how 'disrespectful' he could be, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.
"Timothy, Sarah says we're going to go get ice cream?" Evelyn said.
"Yes. There's room in the freezer?" Tim asked. The tension in his shoulders went away as he turned his focus to Evelyn's face.
"More than enough. Your father's going to rearrange a few things so we can also get a Trixie, if possible?" Evelyn's voice went up as she said the name in confusion, not entirely understanding David's request.
"A Trixie is one of the ice cream cakes Richardson's sells. Has all sorts of candy on it that'll make your teeth hurt.. My cousin, Jeremy, loves it," Tim explained. "Yeah, we can grab one while we're there."
"Alright, then. Come on. Sarah said she was going to meet us at the car," Evelyn said.
"Sure you don't wanna stay and be fawned over?" Tim asked with a smirk as he stood up.
"Your father can continue that later. Let's go," Evelyn giggled. She didn't give Tim the chance to reply by walking away, towards the front door.
"Mom, would you like anything specific?" Tim asked, ignoring the dark look his aunt was giving him.
"They have a new flavor of frozen yogurt. Tropical Punch, I believe. A pint, please, if you can," Jennifer admitted, not wanting to have someone make another trip.
"Of course, Mom," Tim said. He leaned across the table to kiss her cheek before leaving the room.
Tim let out a heavy sigh as he stepped outside, seeing Sarah and Evelyn already waiting for him in the car. Home for less than an hour and already most of his family was irritated with him. Had to be a new record.