Chapter 21

Running Up That Hill

Late morning sun shone through the opened bedroom windows washing everything in natural light while a cool breeze from the lake softly caused the gauzy drapes to dance in a fluid ballet. The tender and quiet solitude of the home welcomed the company of the lives inside of it surrounding and protecting them. The pale violet color of the walls blended in time with the sky blue ceiling expertly designed to recreate the illusion of the sky outside. The shadows crawled up the walls slowly as the sun rose and Lauren was in unconscious dreamland. Out of nowhere, she began to spasm and have trouble breathing.

The chaos shattered the stillness and woke John up immediately. She was moaning as if she were in terrible pain while her eyes remained closed tight. The choking noises erupted from her throat while her body froze and her limbs tried to move as if some invisible force was holding them back. John tried to wake her but she was in such a state he decided he had to hold her in place so she didn't hurt herself. Putting a gentle amount of his own body weight upon her, he attempted to hold her arms in place and protect her head. "Lauren! Lauren, wake UP! Wake up!" he whispered harshly into her ear while she struggled against him. He was about to shout when she suddenly went limp and her eyes opened as she took in a deep breath of air. "Are you alright?" asked John with a touch of worry in his voice and in his eyes upon her. "You're okay, you're awake and you're fine now."

Lauren looked at him as though she could never believe that it could be true, that she was indeed awake and that everything was fine. John held her close. "Did you have a seizure/?" he asked cautiously while she gathered up the strength to talk.

"No" she replied breathlessly. "I'm not sick in the head," she said more to herself than to him. "I had this nightmare," she explained while she shook her head from the cobwebs and John gave her a sip of water. He gathered her up in his arms and caressed her as she described her dream. "It was a confusing patchwork of images, some where I could see from behind my eyes and there were some where I was watching myself as an unseen audience" she stopped short "Does any of this even make any sense?"

"Yes, of course it does" he replied and followed up with a soft kiss on the forehead. "Go on."

"It seemed so real, so palpable that I could taste it" she began. "Yet so unimaginably horrific that I couldn't fully comprehend what I was seeing. You were there, did I say that already? You were there, in a hallway. There were dim light bulbs hanging from a black hallway ceiling. They hung so low that they reached the top of your head and you sort of brushed them away with your forehead. You were holding something that had no form, no real shape, but there you were holding it as if it had." She paused to focus her eyes upon him to see if he was freaking out over the crazy girl in his bed yet. Since it appeared the he hadn't she continued. "It was a mass, a ball maybe. It was brilliant light that lit up the walls around us. I remember looking at your face and you had this look, this serenity that didn't make sense because I guess I figured that holding a ball of light would hurt or something. It was bright white and the light danced in your eyes kind of. You walked toward me with it and I took a few steps and you gave it to me, only I didn't hold out my arms or anything like that. It was as if you were allowing me to take your light away from you, for whatever reason and you placed it inside of me." She paused for a sip of water and to feel his arms around her and his tender touch of her body. "Dreams never have any feeling for me, John. Never ever."

"Shhh now," he sung into her hear fro behind her where she rested her back on his chest. "You really gave me quite a scare my girl. Now, why don't you go ahead and tell me the rest," he coerced. "Please go on with what you were telling me. Something about a light."

"Yes, of course," she went on. "It dissolved into watching myself in a room filled with, with stuff. All of this metal and shiny steel all around moving, and me, twisted up. Sharp and serrated blades and electronic wires, clocks looming large up above me. It like they were all gnashing their teeth at me, angry and they were coming closer and closer, turning in on me." Lauren shivered at the memory so fresh in her mind. John's eyes begged and consoled her while she spoke of the night's horror. "Well, then I screamed and I'm seeing myself from the outside, looking in on what's going on. There was a photo of you and me that I don't even remember having taken at my feet in a frame. I bent down to pick it up and it fell apart in my hands. The glass broke and it all shattered to the floor taking the photo with the shards down to the ground. I looked up and saw myself in this hollow room in the dark. I could hear sound of alarms going off, electronic alarms, the lights came up and there I was, standing in the scene but watching it like it was on television. I was watching myself, watch myself. There were three me's. Me, watching another me, watching the me that was in a hospital room! I was surrounded in the bed by faceless voices talking about my blood pressure and how it was too low, the word surgery echoed all around. I felt all sticky with blood, even just standing there watching it happen to me. I felt the blood, I heard the voices..And the me in the dream watching me in the bed tried to get to her but wouldn't move and the me watching this all happen couldn't move and…' she began to cry uncontrollably, and she hated herself for it, crying like a little kid telling their parents about a bad dream in Johns arms. He held her still while she came back from her emotional memory. "I was screaming 'No! No!' in the dream trying to get, well, myself to stop what was happening and I felt this, this presence that I couldn't see but I could definitely feel and bam. I woke up," she finished, hoping that she may never have that kind of dream again.

"I'm sorry," said John.

"Oh, no, no. I'm okay now. Better actually now that I've talked about it I think," she replied. She blushed a little and realized it would be a foolish thing to say but she said it anyway. "I'm, happy that you were here when I woke up. He very first thing I saw was your face and I felt like I was okay," she confessed. "I don't know how to put it, but whenever I see you, I know that I'm okay." John said nothing but held her and rocked her a little, lulling her into complete peace.

A little while later John lays her back onto the mattress and brushed her bangs back from her eyes.

"Breakfast in bed, m'lady?' A shy smile blossomed on her face and she mockingly stuck her left hand out to be kissed as if she were royalty of some sort, taking on the role of 'lady of the manor' and he took it up and kissed the top before he disappeared down the stairs and into the kitchen. Not long after she could detect the dulcet aroma of coffee brewing and toast being made and settled back in anticipation of her breakfast. Soon enough, memories sparked as he returned with it complete with eggs and tea. She wondered to herself where in the bloody hell her coffee was but didn't want to ruin the moment. 'You took care of me like this once" she said through a smile. "Don't think I'll ever forget that."

He settled the tray onto her lap and gave her a quick smile. "No, I don't think you'll ever forget my dear," he said in an absent minded way that made her wonder where his mind had gone. "I'll be right back," he said to her as he headed back down the stairs avoiding her eyes. She had become used to his somewhat erratic behavior toward her and blew it off has a personality quirk, something that was while curious, didn't affect her anymore. He had embedded himself so deep into her heart that she now let these small eccentricities fall through her and disappear. She listed to his footsteps on the stairs, what was once so frightening had become anticipated now and she curled her legs up to the side and motioned for him to come and sit with her. They shared their meal together and recalled back to when she first came to be in his care.

"You took care of me as well," he said. "Remember when you fell flat on your face over me in the washroom?"

Lauren rolled her eyes. "Oh, how could I forget? I thought that you were a burglar and I was going to blind him with spray starch, not that I think that would stop a burglar, maybe slow him down a little."

"You stitched me up like an expert nurse that night." he interrupted. "You were so brave."

"I know, I kind of can't believe I did it either," she replied remembering how frightened she was to even touch him let alone sew up such an ugly wound. Sipping her tea she vividly remembered just how messy and scary that was. John lifted part of his shirt and revealed the scar he was left with in the mid morning light. Lauren cringed a little when she saw it. "Gosh, I'm sorry that I never really learned to sew" she said sheepishly. "Hey if that ever happens again, I'm throwing you over my shoulder and we're going to the emergency room, got it," she said wielding her butter knife at him playfully.

"Okay, you have a deal," he said. "If I ever return in the middle of the night with a severe wound, we'll do it your way. I don't want to have to dislodge a butter knife from my eye socket."

Leaving the knife on her tray she looked at him for a moment. "John, I'd never hurt you, you know that right?" John noticed she was being completely serious and he put his coffee down. "I mean, well" she hated that she stuttered when he looked at her. "I wouldn't so anything to hurt you is all." She groaned at the fact that she lost the ability to create meaningful sentences when her heart tried to open. It was too new of a thing for her to do and it wasn't so much uncomfortable as it was an unfamiliar new territory for her heart to tread.

"I know what you're trying to say Lauren," he said, trying to make her more comfortable while he watched her trembling lower lip and reached out a thumb to her face to steady it. Dissolving his mouth into a smile he moved her tray form her lap and brought his face close enough to hers that she could smell and be jealous of the coffee on his breath. "I, hope Lauren, I hope that you know that I would never hurt you either, never intentionally go out of my way to bring you harm. I want to keep you safe, safe from all of the violence and tormented, corrupted souls in the world. Keep them from preying upon a life so precious to me that I would die to protect it." He touched her face and caressed her cheek as he spoke. "There is, nothing I wouldn't do to protect you, no lengths I wouldn't go to assure that your life is protected." Lauren was out of her mind speechless. She had heard similar words before in her life. Words that she thought were the gospel truth but never before had she ever believed so completely and she found herself becoming more and more his with every word that dropped from his mouth. Every one she drank in with reverence and gratitude toward John for everything he had given to her. Drunk with passion, she fell forward, lips first onto his face and wrapped her arms and legs around him kissing him softly but with intensity and sentiment. He reciprocated in kind and they spent the next few hours rolling around the bed, exploring flesh in the summer sunshine and discovering one another delicately and lovingly.

Late afternoon came around and John cupped her face. "Dear heart, it's time to go home," he told her gingerly.

"I know John," she replied. "It's alright, wherever you are is my home. I love you." He kissed her.

"I love you back," he said while he helped her out of bed and she set to making it. He questioned her with a look and she replied. "Somehow I wouldn't feel right just leaving it. We're not in a hotel." He nodded and went downstairs. She heard the sound of the front door opening and closing a few times while she straightened up and figured he was packing the car. She came downstairs and she made sure that the kitchen was all set and that everything was as it was when they arrived. She stood over the sink and looked into the woods wondering if they would ever return, but not overly concerned if she ever did or not. She meant it when she said that wherever John was, was indeed her home and nothing would ever change how she felt about that.