Note - Lachance and Johnny are my brotp and I love their interactions. So, yeah. Lots of dialogue.

Lachance ducked into an alley just around the corner from the thrift shop. In the lengthening shadows she shook out a small bag of white powder from her pocket and tapped a pinch onto the back of her hand. She sniffed it and tilted her head back, relishing the sudden numbness in her nose and the back of her throat. It was good shit, hardly any burn at all.

She sniffed again and rubbed her face. A small part of her wondered if she was only doing it because she knew it would piss off Troy. He had completely ignored her at Dr Gupta's, leaving as soon as she arrived to see Chris.

'Fuck him,' she muttered, and pushed the baggie back into her pocket.

It was just after nine. She scrubbed her nose with the heel of her hand then walked the rest of the way to Sloppy Seconds.

Dex and Johnny were already waiting for her outside the dark shop-front.

'S'up,' Johnny said with a nod.

'Hey. So, why're we here, Dex?' she asked.

'We'll talk inside,' he said, pulling a keyring from his jeans.

'Wait, what? You own this fuckin' place too?' she said.

'This, a couple of Brown Baggers, and the Do It Up salon in Somerset,' he said with a shrug as he unlocked the door. 'The property holds its value, the business itself pays dividends, and I can run dirty money through 'em. I've tried to get Johnny here to invest too but-'

'-But it bores the shit outta me when you start talkin' profit margins, man. C'mon; cars, guns and bling. What more do you need?' Johnny said.

Lachance gave a sigh and followed them inside. 'Yo, all my cash goes on ammo. Can't wait 'til I'm rolling in it like you two.'

Harsh fluorescent lights flickered on as Dex stepped away from the switch. Cheap metal rails sagged under the weight of threadbare, musty clothes, and in the corner sat a cardboard box with $1 scrawled on the side that contained hats, ties, belts and - Lachance shuddered - underwear.

She started to tap her foot on the floor.

'So… why're we here, Dex?' she asked again.

'Yeah, unless you got some freaky idea for a three-way dress-up session, the fuck are we doin' here?' Johnny asked.

Lachance tried really, really hard not to think about a Johnny/Dex three-way. Failed.

Dex's voice pulled her out of her reverie. 'What's your next move gonna be against the Vice Kings?' he asked Johnny sharply.

'Dex, don't worry. I have a plan,' he said.

'See, that's what worries me. Your idea of a plan is to take the biggest hammer you can find and smash the shit outta whatever's in your way.'

Johnny gave a short laugh. 'Sounds like a plan to me.'

'Yeah, a shitty one, as your whack-ass robo leg clearly proves.'

'Hey, fuck you. I got your girl outta there in one piece didn't I?' Johnny snapped.

'Then she felt like she had to go save your ass, and went toe-to-toe with Green.'

'Uh, right here, guys,' Lachance said. She was ignored.

'I suppose you think you've got a better idea? Johnny said.

'As a matter of fact, I do. There's a late-night shopping event going on in Nob Hill tonight. Free champagne, personal shoppers, the whole nine yards.'

'Dude, if your bitch wants a new dress, you take her,' Johnny said.

Lachance scowled as Dex continued. 'Just hear me out. King's obviously got somethin' worked out with the police. Saints are getting picked up left and right but no-one does shit about the Vice Kings. I want you two to go there and cause some havoc. Turn the public eye onto the VKs and the cops won't have a choice but to come down on 'em.'

Johnny perked up at the word 'havoc'. He rubbed his chin. 'I got a bad feelin' I know how they're are gonna get blamed for this.'

'Plenty to chose from in here,' Dex said, folding his arms.

Lachance was lost. 'I don't get it.'

Johnny looked around then sauntered over to a rail that held two yellow t-shirts and a yellow letterman jacket. He threw the jacket at her. She ducked with a yelp.

'Ugh, no-fucking-way. Someone probably died in that shit,' she said.

'Shut up and get dressed. We got some peace to disturb,' Johnny said.

x.x.x

Lachance gave the sleeve of her jacket a cautious sniff.

'Gah. Smells like jizz,' she said with a grimace. 'And feet. Jizz feet. Or foot jizz.' She cackled.

'A bandana over your face would have worked a treat,' Johnny muttered.

She nudged him. 'Yo, did some fucker grease you?'

'...What?'

'You're walking much better on your busted-ass leg. Wondered if you'd been lubed,' she said.

They were looking for a car they could steal without drawing too much attention, and were heading towards a silver Nelson that someone had considerately parked in a back alley.

Johnny shrugged. 'Physio,' he said.

'Huh. I woulda thought you wouldn't be bothered with shit like that.'

'There's a lot you don't know about me, squirt.'

'Squirt? Really? C'mon, man. How 'bout playa?'

Johnny laughed. 'Hell no.'

She looked up hopefully. 'Homie?'

'Nah,' he said. There was a pause. 'I could call you Frenchie,' he said eventually.

'Fuck that, what if I call you Chink-'

Lachance froze. The cold edge of his knife pressed against her throat.

Johnny raised an eyebrow. 'You gonna finish that remark?'

'No,' she said in a sulky voice.

'Good.' He withdrew his blade and continued walking. 'And I ain't even Chinese.'

'What are you then?' Lachance winced. 'That was racist too, huh?'

'Little bit. Yo, does your brain even know your mouth is talkin' half the time?'

She grinned. 'It's a gift.'

'It's gonna be bad for your health,' he said as they reached the car. Both of them went for the driver's side at the same time, and Lachance glared up at him as he tried to shoulder barge her out of the way.

She planted her feet and hung grimly onto the door handle. 'There's no way you're driving,' she said.

'Just get outta the way.'

'No.'

'Don't make me stab you,' he said.

'Go for it. I'll be just as dead if I let you drive us anywhere, man.'

Johnny loomed over her. 'If you let me?' Each word was hammered out like a nail in her coffin. 'Who the fuck do you think you're talkin' to?'

'Uh...'

Her brain was waving frantically, trying to get her mouth's attention. If this interaction had happened even ten minutes later, the cocky self-confidence of her coke buzz would probably have seen her smashed in the face by a fist with the stopping power of a brick wall. Instead, she let go, and with bad grace dragged her feet as she moved around to the passenger side.

Johnny broke the driver's window with his elbow, unlocked the door, then leaned over to unlock hers. She threw herself into the seat, but her frown turned into a snort of laughter as she got a proper look at him in the dimly lit interior while he hunted for the keys.

His trade-mark black and white hair was covered with a yellow beanie and he had left his shades with Dex. The effect was startling.

'You look really weird,' she giggled.

Brown eyes pinned her to the seat.

'Okay, hand it over,' he said.

'What?'

'The coke, or speed, or whatever other shit you're on.'

'I don't-'

Johnny held out his hand. 'You're obviously high as giraffe balls, so quit holding out on me and share.'

Lachance blinked. 'Share?'

'Bitch, did I stutter? Gimme.'

In silence she reached into her pocket and dropped the bag into his outstretched hand. He took a generous pinch, gave it back so she could top-up, then found the keys in the passenger sun-visor. Her heart was starting to pound in her chest as he started the car and gave her a savage grin.

'Friendly Fire?' he said, and slammed his foot on the gas.

x.x.x

The Nob Hill shopping plaza was aglow with strings of lanterns and fairy lights that twinkled around trees and sparkled in bushes. A jazz quartet played something funky as Stilwater's high-class citizens peered into shop windows, nibbled canapés, and sipped champagne.

In a secluded alleyway, Johnny sniffed and popped the trunk of their stolen car. He filled two rucksacks with grenades and Molotovs and handed one to Lachance.

'Ai-ight,' he said. 'You head down to the far end and I'll start blowing shit up here. Wait for these snooty motherfuckers to start runnnin' your way, then you can join in. We'll get 'em packed into the middle and it'll be like shootin' fish in a barrel.'

'Not fair you gettin' a head start, man,' she said, shrugging the heavy bag over one shoulder. It clinked.

'Tough shit. Who paid for all these anyway?'

'Yeah, yeah.' Lachance tapped out the last of her powder onto the back of her hand. 'Hey, do you want one last hit before I go?'

'Sure,' Johnny said. His touch was surprisingly gentle as he took her wrist and raised her hand to his face. He snorted half the remaining coke and she took the rest.

'Damn,' he said with a laugh, shaking his head. 'Okay, let's get started. Try not to die, you little shit.'

Lachance grinned, breathing fast. 'You too, you big shit.'

Johnny laughed again and jogged away from her. She watched his ass for a second then turned and ran in the opposite direction. Her heart was racing and she laughed out loud when she heard the whoosh of a Molotov being thrown behind her. Screams from the gathered guests drowned out her giggles as she got into position at the bottom of the plaza.

The rucksack went to the ground between her feet. She took out several bottles, unscrewed their caps and pulled out the little bit of rag that had been pre-placed in the neck of each one. Then she struck her lighter against her thigh.

The first one caught light in a flare of orange, and Lachance hurled it to the cobbles in front of a group of wild-eyed shoppers who were trying desperately to escape the explosions coming from Johnny's end.

There were more screams as the people behind pushed the ones in front into the flames before they realised what was happening and turned back.

Lachance threw another bottle, then a third to hurry them along. A Caucasian woman ran past, her blonde hair on fire, and was hit by a car as she ran blindly into the street.

'...Four,' Lachance said under her breath, keeping count. She would still try to win this despite Johnny cheating.

She rummaged in the bag for a grenade. Johnny had given her a brief lesson in how to use them in Friendly Fire. 'Just pull the pin and throw the fucker,' he'd said. 'I'm sure even you can manage that.'

It was funny how such a little thing could cause so much destruction. The grenade weighed heavy in her hand as she looked around for a good target. She decided to throw it through a store window as she picked up the bag and ran towards the middle of the square. The crash of the explosion blew out the plate glass windows and shook the cobbles beneath her feet.

Sirens could now be heard in the distance as thick black smoke billowed up into the night sky and covered up the stars. She found Johnny at the head of a huddled throng of people and skidded to a halt at his side.

His eyes were bright as he waved his shotgun and they shrank back.

'Cops here yet?' he asked her.

'Nearly,' she gasped, trying to catch her breath. 'How many you got so far?'

'Please, please just let us go,' pleaded a smartly dressed man, his skin the teak brown colour of a habitual sun-bed user.

'Seven,' Johnny said, then tightened his finger on the trigger. The man in front jerked and fell to the screams of those around him. 'Eh, eight now.'

'Motherfucker,' she said.

They both looked up as the wind picked up and a bright searchlight flooded the plaza from a police helicopter.

Lachance shielded her eyes with a hand. It was an Eye-in-the-Sky, an unarmed chopper that the local newsroom used to report on events and disturbances in the city. Perfect.

'Third- uh, Vice Kings, bitches!' she yelled as she drew her revolver, then shot six civilians in quick succession. 'Ten,' she shouted at Johnny.

He swore and the shotgun kicked in his hands as she reloaded. 'VKs, motherfuckers!' he whooped.

They ducked behind a bench as a bullet whined past their heads. Johnny spun her around so he could pull a grenade from her rucksack. He yanked the pin out with his teeth, gave her a winning smile, then pitched it under the Five-O that had just arrived on the scene. It exploded upwards in a blazing fireball, a second blast following the first as the gas tank blew up.

'We shoulda brought s'mores,' she said in awe. 'Dude, that totally got you bonus points for style.'

'Don't feel too bad 'bout it, Frenchie. You're playin' against the best,' he said.

'Yo, call me that again and I trip you when we run for the car.'

'You'd have to be ahead of me to do that, Frenchie,' he said and pushed her on her ass as he scrambled up and ran to the alleyway.

'You son of a bitch,' she shouted after him with a laugh. He raised his middle finger over his shoulder as she sprinted to catch up.

She jumped into the Nelson as he gunned the engine.

'Now we got that news 'copter on us, let's head downtown and show 'em what 'Benjamin King' thinks of modern art,' Johnny said. He dropped his rucksack into her lap as he twisted the wheel and spun the tyres. 'What we got left?'

Lachance gripped the door handle as they slewed around a corner.

'Three Molotovs, one broke in my bag when you pushed me over, bitch,' she said, poking him in the arm, 'and five grenades.'

Johnny nodded thoughtfully. 'Should be more than enough,' he said.

Red and blue lights flashed behind them as the car screamed through the city, heading towards Brighton. Lachance and Johnny argued over which radio station they were going to listen to nearly all the way there.

'Check it out, I wanna see if you throw like a girl,' Johnny said, easing off the gas pedal and slowing the car to a crawl. 'Try and knock those pins down with a grenade.'

He pointed out of the window at a bunch of oversized stone bowling pins that City Hall had commissioned in the name of urban regeneration. Lachance wound down her window and knelt on her seat to lean out. She was illuminated by the Eye-in-the-Sky as it hovered above them.

'Just fuckin' hold it steady,' she shouted to Johnny, the wind from the blades of the helicopter whipping at her hair.

'Any time now. Cops are closing fast,' he shouted back.

She pulled the pin, squinted, then threw it, making a face when it exploded against the pedestal and only two of the four pins rolled off. She slumped back into her seat.

'Eh, it'll do,' Johnny said with a shrug, slamming his foot on the gas again. 'One last thing; I wanna fuck up that statue of Alderman Hughes, it's a fuckin' eye-sore.'

The cops were now right on their tail. Lachance looked at Johnny as he shifted in his seat and wordlessly held his shotgun out to her. She leaned out of the window and yelled 'Long live the Vice Kings,' before peppering the Five-O windshield with buckshot.

'It take you long to think of that one?' he said.

Lachance laughed. 'Only since Sloppy Seconds.'

'You're so fuckin' lame,' he said with a half-smile.

Johnny headed into Humbolt Park, and dragged the car over manicured lawns on his way to a large fountain that held the statue of an overweight, balding man carrying a globe on his back.

The helicopter was still with them as they climbed out of the car and shared out the last of the grenades, and tossed them at its feet. Johnny pulled her behind a wall as the explosions rocked the park, and they snorted with laughter as they tore off their yellow colours. Lachance left her hated jacket hanging on a bush as they ran towards the road.

Johnny was trying to spike up his hat-flattened hair as a cop car flew past them, not even giving the pair a second look.

He elbowed her. 'Hey, it's not that late. Whaddya say we go and hit a bar or a strip joint before callin' it a night?'

Lachance peered up at him. 'Yo, are we friends now?'

'Whoa. No need to go that far, Frenchie. Shit.' He laughed when she punched him. 'Okay, you're not quite as annoying as I thought. That good enough for ya?'

'Eh, it'll do,' she said with a shrug. Then she grinned.