A/N: Took a bit longer than usual for this chapter, haha! Sorry, was out of sorts for awhile there.

Thanks again for all the reviewers! (I tried to respond everyone either via PM or the Reply Corner at the bottom.)

Disclaimer: I do not own Hikaru no Go.

Warnings: Ditto the last.

Pairings: Ditto the last.

Chapter 19

Beneath the Overlay

Hidaka is a pretty girl.

Tsutsui had noted that as soon as he'd seen the girl. Her close-croppped blond hair and wide eyes gave off a fey-like countenance, but her personality was anything but shy; if Fujisaki could be compared to a demure maiden awaiting a knight to save her then Hidaka would be the one who slayed her own dragon and sold the mincement. Not to mention she wasn't deterred in the least in her interactions with her more subdued peers, often giving both Kishimoto and Touya a hard time just for entertainment.

And now this, Tsutsui thought, gazing flatly ahead at the girl. Hidaka was grinning broadly, one arm raised up as if to signify a car race – the fact that she was set to signal the start of a seashell collecting race did little to impede her generally unwarranted enthusiasm. Then again, she was the one who had come up with the idea; it seemed she found Akira's strange rivalry with Hikaru to be high-quality entertainment and did what she could to egg it on.

Tsutsui privately thought she was deranged. Just fifteen minutes ago, the two boys had been arguing loudly over what they considered to be the best flavors for shaved ice, drawing a high volume of blank stars from other patrons and embarrassing Tsutsui enough for all three of them.

"Ready, set," Hidaka began officially. "START!"

Hikaru and Akira tore off in the same direction, buckets clamoring, dodging other beach-goers while simultaneously keeping an eye on the beach for seashells and each other. Tsutsui watched them go with an expression close to defeat on his face – maybe if he pretended it wasn't happening, it would end quicker.

"What do you do with seashells?" Mitani asked. He was seated on a towel, sharing both that and a bowl of shaved ice with Kaneko. The russet-haired boy had quickly and efficiently refused to join the absurd competition, and Kaneko was happily eating her fruity treat after mockingly encouraging Hikaru to do his best.

"You can keep the best ones for decoration, or use them for crafts," Kishimoto answered. He had declined joining as well, citing the fact that he "wasn't 5 years old or an idiot" and preferring to recline under the umbrella. "I used the ones I've found in homemade decorative jars or fitted them onto hairclips."

(Somewhere in the distance, Tsutsui could make out Akira's distinctive voice hollering "that's not a seashell, you idiot!")

Mitani looked over at the austere boy in thought. "…so if I give you some seashells, can you make me something?"

("What the- Ow ow ow! Akira, get it off! Get it off!")

"What are you gonna do with something like that?" Hidaka asked, forcing herself into the conversation. It seemed the girl didn't see why a boy would like something so homely – or at least, a boy that wasn't her boyfriend.

Mitani glanced over at her. "Give it to Hikaru," he answered honestly.

Hidaka stared at him.

("Stop moving around, you're scaring it!")

Kishimoto snorted. "I guess. You have to give me the seashells you want in it though, I'm not going to do your dirty work for you," he ordered.

Kaneko waved her spoon in the older boy's general direction. "Technically, you are doing his dirty work since you're making the- ow! You twig!" the girl cried out, rubbing the side of her ribcage where Mitani had jabbed her with his elbow.

("I'm scaring it? It's gonna rip off my skin!")

Tsutsui got up with a sigh, moving in the direction where the two younger boys were still yelling at each other. Kishimoto checked his watch. Only five minutes, huh? He observed. He'd intended to let them go wild until beach security was called to restrain them, but Tsutsui was such a mother hen.

By the time Tsutsui had returned with the two younger boys in tow, Kaneko and Mitani had finished their shaved ice and Kishimoto was re-applying Hidaka's sunscreen. Hikaru was bitterly inspecting his right-hand's index finger, which had turned a bright red and prompted a small scowl on the boy's face. Akira, walking beside him, was criticizing at it with a justly stern look on his young face.

"What, no seashells?" Hidaka asked at the sight of the empty buckets.

"He decided he wanted to disturb some poor crab," Akira said.

"That little shit wanted to tear my skin off!" Hikaru defended himself hotly.

Before Akira could launch into a poorly thought-out rant about shellfish feelings, or whatever else he could think to say in direct opposition to Hikaru because Akira thrived off the blond-banged boy's attention, Kaneko got the group's attention when she pushed forth one of the watermelons she'd brought.

"Who should go first?" Kaneko asked pointedly.

After a few rounds of rock-paper-scissors, Hidaka emerged victorious and was the first to be blindfolded. Being the tallest of the group, Kishimoto was left in charge of spinning her and had to vehemently defend himself when the others made several catty comments about "not playing favorites just 'cause you kiss her!"

"I am very kissable," Hidaka stated with a sultry smirk. She didn't need her sight to know that her boyfriend only rolled his eyes.

Several screams later, with Akira ducked defensively behind Tsutsui and Hikaru trying to wash the sand from his eyes, Hidaka's little wooden bat made contact with the watermelon, to Mitani's obvious delight. Kishimoto didn't think he'd ever seen the russet-haired boy looking so animated before.

"Kaoru-kun," Hidaka crooned, pulling off the blindfold victoriously. She struck a flexing pose with a winning smile, bat kept wisely in hand. "Does the sight of these guns make your little maiden heart flutter?"

Kishimoto wisely didn't say anything in response, because he knew she'd use it as ammunition against him somehow. Hidaka was just riding the high she got from success, and she always coupled that with a healthy dose of teasing. Nothing pleased the girl more than getting a rise from her boyfriend.

Hikaru made a scoffing sound to the side. "Well, now your relationship makes total sense," the boy muttered. Hidaka's answering laugh was light and promised a future of being heard at Kishimoto's expense.

Kishimoto stared at Hikaru stonily. "No onigiri for you," he decided.

"Has your face always been this terrible looking?"

Loud laughter filled the cramped space of Sai's apartment. The Meijin remained impassive in the face of such raucous noise, an unimpressed look on his face that he'd perfected long before he'd thought to leave his father's clutches. Not that that helped now – Tsubaki Toshirou wouldn't be moved by anything short of a murder attempt, and even then, Sai was certain the man would shrug off any wannabe killer. Kawai's slouched figure on Sai's couch only cemented this fact.

Unlike the rough-hewn look of the man in the dreamverse, Tsubaki cleaned up considerably well; with his neatly-pressed suit and newly clean-shaven face, he cut an intimidating figure in court. Sai could privately admit that the likely reason Tsubaki had been such a crude but well-meaning guy in his coma was because that's what he'd been like when Sai had first met him, back when Sai had first decided to leave the Fujiwara home. Tsubaki had looked like he belonged on a construction site, not in the courtroom. Sai's leaving had had a greater effect on Tsubaki than anyone could have predicted.

"Please stay on topic, Tsubaki-sensei," Sai reminded him tiredly.

While Sai didn't hold Tsubaki with the same amount of wary contempt he held Kawai, that didn't make their relationship any less strained. As far as Sai was concerned, anyone under his father's direct command was someone to be treated with a high amount of suspicion. Even now, knowing he was vitally depending on the lawyer, Sai couldn't shake the feeling of discontent at the two mens' continued presence in his home.

"Bocchama's just stressed," Kawai defended him mockingly. "Being a single parent is hard work, isn't it?"

Sai glared over at him, a look so filled with acid that Tsubaki's laughter became subdued. Fujiwara Mitsuo's personal lawyer looked through the papers scattered about Sai's dining table, professional in manner in spite of his casual jeer. Tsubaki was among the best of Fujiwara Mitsuo's personal little army of lawyers, but it was his specialty within the practice of law that Sai was in need of now.

"Like I said before, this is an open-and-shut case," Tsubaki explained. "The papers were finalized months ago. We made sure only Hikaru was moved on the Family Registry, so as far as the family court is concerned – he's Fujiwara Hikaru, through and through."

Sai frowned, picking up the offending sheaf of papers that had started this in the first place. Perhaps he had known it was coming, but still some part of him couldn't accept that Shindou Masao had had the sheer gall to do it. Spitefully, Sai had thought the man wouldn't be brave enough to do so, but then again – he'd likely just underestimated Masao's stupidity.

Calm down, Sai reminded himself, violet eyes boring into the paper.

Shindou Masao had filed for custody of Hikaru.

Sai had never wanted to tear something apart more.

"If you're that worried, I can take care of it," Kawai offered with an easy grin.

Sai didn't even look at him. "Be quiet," he snapped coldly.

Kawai made a show of feigning hurt at Sai's cruel brush-off but went ignored. The man was acting as Tsubaki's bodyguard, accompanying the prize attorney to Sai's place for the duration of their talk. Sai knew that Kawai was just doing so to irritate him and silently vowed not to give Kawai more ammunition than he had already.

"How can you be sure that the Family Registry will be enough?" Sai asked.

"It's more than just the Family Registry," Tsubaki said with a shake of his head. "According to the family court, Shindou Masao gave up all custodial rights when he divorced his first wife. After that, Shindou Mitsuko held sole custodial rights over Hikaru-kun, and so the moment she signed that away to you – then as far as Family Court is concerned, you are the one and only parent of the boy."

Sai relaxed marginally. He'd known this all months ago, when first going over the papers as he looked for ways to take Hikaru away from his neglectful mother. When he'd first decided to protect Hikaru, Sai had gone all in – he'd looked for the best ways to provide for him, in a way that was permanent. Originally, it was a way to combat any move Shindou Mitsuko may make to reclaim Hikaru as her's; now, against the man that was Hikaru's father in blood alone, Sai was testing the strength of the claims he'd made in law.

"According to child custody laws, you never needed Shindou Masao's consent to adopt Hikaru-kun after he'd given up custodial rights," Tsubaki continued. "His claim will be dismissed the moment the judge sees it."

Sai nodded, albeit weakly.

Tsubaki shuffled the papers thoughtfully. "Do you harbor any doubts about Hikaru-kun?" he asked evenly.

Sai started, broken from his ruminations. "Wh-What do you mean?"

"Do you think he'll choose Shindou Masao over you?" Tsubaki clarified.

Sai's eyes narrowed. "Absolutely not," he answered coolly. Hikaru wouldn't have chosen Masao if he'd been left on the streets, would never be able to trust the man that had thrown him away all those years ago. He wasn't worried because Hikaru choose his biological father over Sai; he was worried because Masao might take Hikaru by force.

"If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha," Kawai's tone was droll. "If you meet your father, kill your father."

Sai cast him an aside glance but said nothing.

"That's the only circumstance that could possibly not go in your favor," Tsubaki stated. "Even how you first got involved with Hikaru-kun does not matter in the Family Court."

Sai stilled. It felt as if his heart had leapt into his throat but he managed to swallow it just enough to breathe properly.

It should not have been surprising. Of course his father would know, and of course those who would handle this matter directly would know; it only made sense for them to gather all the pieces of Sai and Hikaru's convoluted beginnings. It would be detrimental to their purpose if they were blindsided by such contexts.

"…will that come up?" Sai asked haltingly.

Prostitution was still illegal, and child prostitution was even more severe. Even though Sai hadn't used Hikaru's offered services, it didn't make him any less guilty in the eyes of the law. But more than that, to drag the history of Itsuka back into the light just as Hikaru was still trying to move past it – Sai didn't think Hikaru could survive that.

"Children are not brought into Family Court, at least not for the mediation and proceedings," Tsubaki dismissed. "Hikaru-kun won't be asked for his opinion, not at this age. The court does not take his history into account, either; just as they won't care about his parents' neglect, they won't care about how you two met. All that matters are the custody forms."

Shindou Masao knew nothing of Shindou Mitsuko's abuse, of Hikaru's desperate attempts of survival, of Itsuka and the Gate. Hikaru would never tell him. All that Hikaru had been and would be, those would be overseen by Sai now. Shindou Masao had no place there.

"And for what it's worth," Tsubaki said. "As long as you have actual physical custody of him and unless Shindou Masao is granted full custody, then there's nothing anyone can do to take Hikaru-kun from you."

Sai took that in. "Even Shindou Mitsuko?"

Tsubaki nodded. "The papers were signed, the forms filed, the Family Registry finalized. Hikaru-kun is yours, no matter what Shindou Masao wishes otherwise."

Sai nodded in understanding. To the side, Kawai hid a grin.

Sky Garden Café looked small from the outside but bigger once entered, as most establishments did on the narrow streets of Ikenoue. The entrance was a simple wooden gate, the name of the establishment written in slanted English and underlined with romaji. Pushing through the gate led to a gray-bricked path lined on both sides by leafy shrubs and blooming flowerbeds. The path went straight then curved left, allowing room for the trees to tower and shade all who went beneath it.

The café itself was a small building, made of varnished wood and plaster that was center to the veritable garden around it. The structure was home to the kitchen and the registers, a display of confectionary in the forefront and a small army of coffee grinds stored behind the counter.

Under the August afternoon sun, the garden was mildly populated but not enough to warrant discomfort. This had more to do with the fact that the owner had just put up the 'closed' sign and with each parting customer, the garden grew quieter and quieter. It was unusual, of course, and regulars eyed the sign as they were turned away, muttering about the strangeness. As far as they knew, the Sky Garden Café didn't close until sunset.

Tetsuo sat stiffly on the picnic chair, narrowed eyes moving from the steaming cup of coffee in front of him to the man taking a sip from his own cup. Nothing but classy china would be good enough for their patrons, and they'd brought out their best set for this guest in particular. They had even been granted a seat under the overhanging wisteria, the only spot in the garden that offered some small promise of privacy.

Tetsuo would have sneered at the adulation but knew better. He wasn't some snot-nosed brat that couldn't read the atmosphere, and he knew that just because the man across from him was smiling didn't mean he was necessarily kind enough to overlook mockery.

"You always bring people you wanna threaten to gardens, Sousuke-san?" Tetsuo asked testily.

The man across from him set his coffee cup down gently, violet eyes even as he regarded the boy. He was dressed casually now, grey slacks and a sunflower-yellow cardigan pulled over a pressed white button-up. His hair was black, cut fashionably short without a single gray hair in sight, only the lines around his eyes the only indication of his age and stress.

"I find gardens relaxing," Sousuke said, eyes grazing the trees and flowers. Sunlight and shade played off his handsome face in equal measure, although Tetsuo privately thought he belonged more in the dark. "According to tradition, Emperor Tenji gave Nakatomi no Kamatari his name in memory of the arbor of wisteria where they had laid the plans that lead to the bloody overthrow of the Soga family."

One pale hand traced the wisteria leaves in consideration. "It was in that arbor that the first of the Fujiwaras was eventually buried."

God, I wish they'd just kill me already to spare me the bullshit, Tetsuo thought. It's as if they weren't satisfied with just catching him, they had to talk to him first – and not even something like an interrogation or anything important. Since Tetsuo had first been introduced to Sousuke after that crazy bastard named Kawai had kidnapped him, the violet-eyed man only ever talked about whatever struck his fancy.

Flowers, and history, and coffee, and dream-catchers; Tetsuo couldn't understand half of what Sousuke said and even then, the man still expected some response. Sneers were rebuked calmly and often with a patient smile, and the only time Tetsuo had fallen back on his repertoire of insults, Sousuke had recounted an anecdote about himself when he was Tetsuo's age.

"You do like your stories," Tetsuo bit out. "Is that what gets you off?"

Sousuke laughed. It reminded Tetsuo of Tomorou in the moments before the boy reached forward to gouge out someone's eyes. Some mockery of emotion that felt off because it was always used in a way that didn't fit the context, as if the person laughing only did so in an attempt to emulate human behavior but still didn't fully understand it.

"No, but I do like being around people," Sousuke said with a fond smile. "They're so endearing to me, so full of energy and expression. It feels as if everyone just feels everything so much more intensely than I do. When they're angry, they turn colors and spit; when they're sad, they sob with heaving breaths and with snot running from their noses; when they're happy, they laugh with gaping mouths and shaking bellies."

Tetsuo hated how Sousuke spoke. The man sounded like an outside observer of humanity, didn't quite fit the mold he'd chosen but ran with it regardless. If the man confessed he was some kind of alien, Tetsuo thought that would make much more sense.

"What, you can't get your dick up or somethin'?" Tetsuo sneered.

Sousuke laughed, but somehow Tetsuo knew it wasn't from amusement. "Oh, no, that all works quite well. Can't say I really enjoy sex, though, but don't tell my wife that!" He'd reached forward to brush the bangs back from Tetsuo's eyes, gentle in a way that burned the teen's skin and twisted his gut. "No, you see, I only ever seem to feel something of the same depth as everyone else when it's at someone's expense. It has to be prompted, borne from someone else's response rather than just the source itself."

Sousuke's finger traced the rim of his coffee cup. "I once spent a lot of time with this frail and delicate little bunny. I liked it, I think, from the very beginning – but with that kind of simple adoration people lavish on pretty things, no real meaning.

"The bunny was so sad because its owner hurt it often, and when it was left it with me, it just got so attached. It liked the attention, liked the gentleness and kind words because it was such a pretty, stupid thing. When the owner died, I was confused to see that the bunny was sad – wouldn't most people be happy, be relieved that someone that hurt them so much was gone?" Sousuke wasn't asking him, not really, and even through the lulling drawl of his words, Tetsuo could sense something sick

"I liked the bunny a bit more then, because it was sad and I just I couldn't understand that. I wanted to comfort it at first because that's what people do when others are sad," Sousuke recounted. "So I tried consoling it, but the more the bunny cried, the more precious it became to me. Strange, isn't it? Back then, I thought it was the bunny's tears and sadness that made it so endearing, and so I did something silly to see more of that…"

Sousuke shook his head with a sigh. "Youth can be so stupid sometimes, so impulsive. I hurt the bunny, disguised my knives behind kindness and dug in deep once I'd gotten close enough. I thought I'd done the right thing then, because afterwards, I just felt so much love for that bunny. I'd never felt that before, never felt such an all-encompassing pleasure," Sousuke smiled and looked utterly inhuman as he did so. "Not from the act itself, no, but its aftermath – I think I fell in love with the sight of his tragedy."

Tetsuo almost wished then, that he'd been kept in Kawai's torturous hands. The man may revel in the violence but at least Tetsuo didn't have to walk through this verbal minefield and wonder which words would set off the explosion. Even his own customers had never had this-this element, the sheer insanity that lurked behind those violet eyes. Drugs were to blame for the erratic actions of his customers, the dependency of which fueled their demands of Tetsuo in turn. The man across from him demanded nothing but his attention and Tetsuo wasn't sure he'd come out the same person if he gave it.

"I loved him most when he came apart under my hands," Sousuke said softly. "But the bunny wasn't as stupid as I had thought and he stitched himself back together, just enough to run away. He'd left an awful mess behind, all his bloody bits scattered here and there to track. I didn't follow him because he didn't want me to, and I love him too much to force my way back into his tattered little heart."

Tetsuo's throat was dry. "That doesn't sound like love," he said.

"You think so?" Sousuke mused. "It certainly felt like it to me. I even told him I loved him so that he could be sure."

"Words don't mean anything," Tetsuo returned. "And I think any love declaration from you would just sound fucking deranged."

Sousuke blinked, seemingly shocked by the crude language. He laughed a short second later, violet eyes dancing. "The bunny would probably agree with you," the man offered amiably.

That poor bastard, Tetsuo thought.

"Why did you bother to bring me all the way out here?" Tetsuo demanded of the man's silence. "I don't know anything about Masaki. I don't even know anything about Hikaru now – I can't be of any use to you people."

Sousuke hummed lightly, "I have to disagree with that, Te-tsu-o-kun."

Hikaru had been so accustomed to Ogata's presence in his life, in his spaces, that he almost forgot that the man didn't live in Sai's apartment as well. Then again, just because Ogata had his own place, didn't necessarily mean he didn't live at Sai's place; as far as Hikaru had seen, Ogata was there in the morning to help with breakfast and there when Hikaru went to bed at night. There were three toothbrushes in the bathroom, beer in the fridge that Sai never drank yet still needed to be refilled by the end of the week, even suits too large for Sai's slender frame hung up neat and orderly in the shared closet.

So, now sitting on a slouched sofa in Ogata's apartment, Hikaru looked around with a profound feeling of displacement. By all accounts, this was where Ogata Seiji lived – where he ate, where he slept, where he studied and relaxed and mooned over Sai silently. The place looked lived-in, a couple of Go magazines on the coffee table and dishes still in the drying rack, the quiet hum of the aquarium filter filling the silence. Hikaru watched the colorful collection of fish swim in their contained space, wondered if they recognized that their owner was back.

Do fish feel things like longing? Hikaru mused. Hikaru missed Ogata in the times he wasn't there in Sai's apartment. Not just in the times he wasn't around to cook – at this point, with Hikaru's ever-growing reserve of recipes courtesy of the bespectacled man, Hikaru could make a decent meal for himself and his guardian in Ogata's absence. No, Hikaru missed Ogata just because he wasn't there. When he was gone for a weekend because of teaching games in Sapporo, when he had to stay late at the Go Institute and went back to his own apartment instead of returning to Sai's place, when he wasn't there in the mornings to greet and cook breakfast with – Hikaru missed Ogata during such inconsequential moments.

And where was the fairness in that? Hikaru had gotten selfish with Ogata, just as he'd gotten selfish with Sai – just because they'd provided for him, Hikaru thought he could take more and more from them. More of their time, more of their dedication, more of their lo-

"Seiji," Sai called out inquisitively, interrupting Hikaru's thoughts. The Meijin was seated on the couch next to Hikaru, looking mildly curious. They'd been out shopping together, Hikaru deigning to accompany the two men because the last time they'd gone out together, they'd come back with enough aprons to successfully run an apron modelling shop. That was entertainment gold as far as Hikaru was concerned, and at this point, he wanted to spend as much time with Sai just to ensure the man wasn't still angry about that episode with the Shindou's or regretting his decision to adopt Hikaru.

Ogata emerged from his kitchen, carrying a stack of over 10 plates in his arms. He set it atop the coffee table, in front of Sai, and then hurried back into his kitchen without explanation. He came back with another large stack of plates, went back again, and then returned with a trash bag and a broom with detachable dustpan.

"Come on," he said gruffly, handing over the broom and trashbag to Hikaru and picking up a stack of plates. Sai obligingly picked up the other stack of plates, looking bemused, but apparently he had become quite accustomed to just following Ogata along when the bespectacled man wanted to do something. From the beginning of their friendship, Ogata had always taken the initiative to just drag Sai along to places the man would never have stepped foot in otherwise, usually without explanation

Ogata led the way out of the apartment, and surprisingly to his two companions, he went up the stairs – four more flights, to be precise, until they'd reached the roof of Ogata's apartment building. The day had been dreary, an off day to the usually sunny season, but this was a godsend now as people tended to mill around indoors during such depressing weather. The fresh air that tasted of oncoming rain greeted Hikaru as he followed the two adults, allowing the roof door to slam shut behind him.

Ogata set one stack of plates down, Sai following suit, before digging out a pack of cigarettes from his pocket. While Hikaru could understand the appeal of smoking outside on the rooftop, this didn't even begin to explain why the man had brought them along up here.

"Pro Exams are next week," Ogata started diffidently.

Sai's head snapped up from where he'd been inspecting the ledge, a displeased look flashing across his face. Given Hikaru's last episode at the Young Lions Tournament, the Meijin hadn't felt comfortable bringing up the upcoming Pro Exams as confidently as he'd done with the Young Lions Tournament. While he'd been playing Hikaru at least once a day ever since the end of the last tournament, and while Sai had once again taken the precaution to stress that developing his Go wasn't an arms race, and that Hikaru didn't have to wager everything he had on the Exams – just like before, Sai realized it might not be enough.

And just like before, Sai had to worry about other parties coming in and destroying Hikaru before he even had a chance to spread his wings. Hikaru's last interaction with the Shindou family weighed heavily on Sai's mind, moreso when Sai thought of his own reaction to it – he'd been furious. A small part of that anger was reserved for Hikaru, a gut-reaction at seeing the boy walking into such a situation that could have been entirely avoided if he'd just gone to Sai with his worries first. The majority of that anger was reserved for the Shindou family, though; seeing Shindou Masao and his parents living such a content life could have been ignored, if they hadn't trapped Hikaru in such a way that the boy was obviously made uncomfortable and panicked. They' had hurt Hikaru so much that the boy would rather sell himself than go to them, and because of that fact and nothing else – Sai hated them.

"What about them?" Hikaru asked, trying to sound detached.

Sai's fists balled at his sides. Hikaru was always so unsure of himself in situations like tournaments, so desperate to prove himself to Sai despite the fact that Sai had never needed it. Sai knew why the boy was so desperate for his approval, though, and even more than that – knew Hikaru would never be satisfied with his answers no matter what Sai said. Hikaru sought approval but never believed it when it was granted, and it was so frustrating for Sai, always standing next to the boy and saying all the right things but having it never be enough.

"You two have been studying every day," Ogata said. "So now – we are going to take a little break."

Hikaru wrinkled his nose, as if finding the idea of taking a break distasteful. Sai just looked plainly confused; of all the reasons he could think of for Ogata to bring them to his apartment, 'taking a break' wasn't one of them. He could, of course, see the merit in Ogata's words; they'd been studying like madmen recently, Sai desperate to assuage Hikaru's fears and ready him for the Pro Exams. Sai had just wanted Hikaru to feel as ready as possible on the first day of the Pro Exams, and thought teaching him more intensely than ever was the best way to do so.

It was…remiss of Sai, not to factor in something as obvious as taking a break. It was just that Hikaru was always so eager to learn more, to practice more – and Sai always found it breath-taking to watch Hikaru evolve, to know that he was one of the core reasons for that change.

"Are we having a giant imaginary picnic or something?" Hikaru asked drily, glancing at the stacks of ceramic plates.

Ogata gave him a bland look. "Yes, because I can think of nothing more un-stressful than a fake tea party," he sniped.

Sai looked unsurely at the plates. "Seiji, that's, um, a unique way of relaxing…"

Ogata rolled his eyes. "Save it, you idiot," he cut in. He had a lit cigarette between his lips as he moved forward, picking up one ceramic plate. With an almost theatrical flair, he tested its weight in his hand. Both Sai and Hikaru watched him in curiosity but were unprepared when Ogata suddenly whipped his arm back and then forward, flinging the plate across the short distance to the opposite wall and shattering it.

Sai blinked, taken-aback; he'd instinctively thrown an arm in front of Hikaru defensively, although the boy only looked surprised by Ogata's sudden desire to destroy his own dishware.

"Friend of mine taught me this," Ogata explained idly. "Whenever he'd get so stressed out that it almost felt like he'd implode because of it, he'd take a bunch of cheap plates and just throw them at the wall, or against the ground."

Ogata took up another plate, throwing it with practiced ease and watching in vague satisfaction as it shattered. "Worrying and generally being so stressed the fuck out – that's normal, you know," he said, shooting the other two males knowing looks. "And so people will do stupid things to relieve that stress. Shrieking into the karaoke machine, walking until it feels like your legs will fall off, cuddling some poor unfortunate dog that's had enough of your attention – people have done all sorts of things just to remind themselves that there's something more to them than their worries."

"So, you…destroy things?" Sai asked unsurely.

Ogata laughed. Sai couldn't help but stare; the sound of Ogata's laugh had been so light, so genuinely happy that it seemed to shine from his face. There was nothing derisive in Ogata's countenance, only a carefree kind of air to his smile that Sai didn't think he'd ever seen before, because if he had, Sai was sure he would have remembered seeing such a beautiful expression.

Ogata held out one plate. Sai started, attention turning to the offer and away from Ogata's face. Hikaru did not move, quietly observing, green eyes going between Sai and Ogata's outstretched hand. The boy wouldn't take it, not without express permission from Sai first; Hikaru would not risk Sai's disapproval if the Meijin did not like this method.

There was something painful about knowing that, Sai thought. The dreamverse Hikaru would have jumped at the chance for some harmless distraction – any child would have, especially with an adult's express permission.

So Sai did what he thought was best, and took that proffered plate. Ogata only stood nearby, watching him, small smile playing at his lips as he took another drag at his cigarette. Hikaru's eyes were very wide as Sai reeled his arm back, flinging the plate forward with an almost thoughtless abandon.

A resounding crack echoed over the quiet rooftop, ceramic shards thrown in various directions.

Ogata made an appreciative noise. "Nice throw," he observed.

Sai didn't say anything, staring at the mess he'd made. His fingers almost felt like they were tingling, and the tightness in his shoulders slowly began to ebb when Ogata only looked amused by the destruction. Approval was not an odd thing for Sai to see in the faces around him, but coupled with the sincere brightness in the ninth-dan's expression boosted Sai like nothing had in a long time. It was as if everything Sai had internalized slowly started to leave him, flung away and shattered into crystalline fragments against the wall.

Sai took up another plate, flinging it just as hard as the first; it shattered and rained against the pavement, a light tinkling sound that matched the cheer in Sai's laugh.

Ogata offered Hikaru a plate.

The boy took it with a bit of hesitation. It was clear that Sai did not disapprove of it, clear that Ogata even valued such an exercise – but the part of Hikaru that was terrified of acting out just in case Sai found it repulsive was one that had grown larger as of late. But if Hikaru didn't play along, then wouldn't Sai be disappointed too?

Unsurely, Hikaru threw the plate forward. It smacked into the wall with a dull thud, a crack breaking into the side but not shattering it completely. Instead the plate fell with a ringing clang against the pavement, seeming to echo in Hikaru's ears. Heat flushed his face; embarrassment mixing with shame at his failed attempt.

I can't even do something as easy as this, he realized in dawning horror.

Sai's look, however, was nothing but thoughtful. "…there's no need to hesitate, Hikaru," the man said. His ability to discern what had bothered Hikaru never failed to both impress and terrify the child. "Seiji wants us to break these plates."

"I bought new ones so I don't need these anymore," Ogata offered. He was lying, of course, but they didn't need to know that. As far as Ogata was concerned, a couple dozen broken plates was a small price to pay to alleviate some of their built-up stress.

"And honestly," Sai continued. "You actually do feel a bit better afterwards."

Sai threw another plate as if to demonstrate this point. His voice was lighter, the stress lines on his face relaxing somewhat as he watched with some small amount of relish as the shards scattered. Hikaru took in Sai's lively expression, Ogata's obvious amusement, and turned back to the stack of plates.

Hikaru picked up another plate, and with more force and direction, hurled it at the opposing wall. It came apart with a resounding shatter against the concrete, Sai's delighted laughter easing the tension in Hikaru's shoulders.

It was an odd sensation, destroying private property without fearing retaliation. Especially as of late, Hikaru had taken to being careful of every move he made in regards to Sai, careful not to do anything too extreme or lacking in propriety that would push the poised man. But now the Meijin was throwing plates and laughing as they fell to pieces, was deriving joy from doing such pointlessly careless actions.

Hikaru found he liked it. The idea that Sai could find enjoyment from such simple things humanized him in Hikaru's eyes, brought him down to a level Hikaru could understand better. Sai wasn't this endless depth of patience and gentility; he internalized his problems, stress building all while he smiled and played and taught, and just like any other person, he needed a way to vent them.

Hikaru could understand that well. People were ruled by their appetites. Sex was one such appetite, and one he was especially familiar with as Itsuka. But violence was one just as big, just as domineering, and Hikaru remembered that just as vividly as he recalled the color of the bruises around Rizumu's throat or the taste of blood in his mouth after Yamaguchi's friend had got a hold on him.

Destruction wasn't necessarily bad - amidst a sea of rubble lay the foundation, ready to be built up from the ground once more; from within the tattered shreds of the chrysalis, a butterfly stretched its wings; from the countless fragments of a split watermelon, Hikaru and his friends could share the sweet treat.

Hikaru took up more plates, tossing them with less hesitation with every flick of the wrist.

Good may yet come from broken things, Ogata thought.

The first day of the Pro Exam found Isumi feeling more sick than ever. Not actual illness, like the cold or flu, but the type of psychological fatigue that clawed deep ridges into his ability to concentrate and maintain something reminiscent of level-headed ease. While he'd always felt less confident when participating in tournaments and the like, so focused on improving his Go and living up to expectations, there was even more added to his plate with the Pro Exams.

This time, there was no Touya Akira to resign to, no Mashiba to sneer at him, no steadfast support from those Isumi had relied on the last time. That isn't to say the Shindou family didn't care about him, Isumi knew they did, but there was more to the Pro Exams this time for them as well.

The Pro Exams of which both Isumi and Hikaru were participants.

Isumi didn't see the other boy yet. The lobby of the Go Institute wasn't packed, per se, but it was definitely more populated than usual; Isumi knew most of the faces in the crowd and greeted those familiar accordingly. Waya had spotted Saeki 4-dan earlier and went to speak with him, although he'd promised Isumi to be back soon with a look on his face that verged more on concern than irritation. The other boy had been a bit- Isumi didn't want to describe it as clingy, but definitely more there than usual, as if he were using his own presence to reassure Isumi of whatever imagined issues Waya thought he had.

Isumi wanted to tell his friend that he was fine, he didn't need such proactive concern, and in the end – it was a personal matter and Waya didn't need to involve himself. Some part of Isumi, that small childish part he'd had to compressed to barely a flicker, felt a touch of affection for Waya because of the boy's actions. Isumi didn't believe in such steadfast loyalty, not really, but he could appreciate Waya's earnestness.

Honda had arrived with Shirakawa this time around, yawning loudly before idling off to appease his sweet tooth. Nase and Fukui stood with Isumi now, the girl chatting brightly with the younger boy. Isumi envied her a bit; Nase never appeared to be intimidated by such functions. She greeted tournaments and exams with a type of optimism that was almost vicious, the look on her face fixed somewhere between admiration and bloodthirst. Fukui looked just as pale as he did during the Young Lions tournament, but a bit more relaxed. Under Nase's merciless onslaught and with the sight of Shirakawa roaming among his insei with a sickeningly-sweet smile, Fukui had apparently reached the conclusion that there were worse things than failing the Pro Exams.

"Hikaru-kun still isn't here?" Nase mused aloud, glancing around. They still had a good 20 minutes before the start of the Exams, but most everyone had already arrived.

Isumi made a noncommittal noise. His falling-out with the top insei had gone unnoticed by everyone in the insei class but Waya, and Isumi had no intention of enlightening them. He knew, however abstractly, that he could use that to his advantage; turn the other insei against Hikaru, use that to throw the boy off-kilter and get him to lose some of his matches. But Isumi just wasn't that kind of person, didn't believe in such underhanded tactics that Mashiba had used the year before, didn't want to become someone who won through such petty means.

The idea of facing Hikaru was terrifying to Isumi. Facing him across the goban would always be something intimidating given Hikaru's strength, but losing to him now felt like it would be on more than one level. If Isumi lost to someone like Waya, he'd be hurt and he'd doubt himself but he could still believe he may grow better; to lose to Hikaru now, though, made Isumi feel like he would never measure up to him no matter how he tried.

Isumi knew prowess in Go didn't mean much to his new family. His mother had never understood his fascination the game for all that she supported it, and his step-father had supported him with the sort of casual ease that suggested it only bemused him. Shindou Heihachi had been enthusiastic about Isumi's passion and supported it more than the boy had ever believed possible, going so far as to allow him free access to the man's prized goban and even remodeling an entire study room for him. Isumi had never asked for more than what was offered, and even then felt bad about taking it; now Hikaru would be offered all that and more, and didn't even had the decency to appreciate it.

"Maybe he's coming with his guardian," Isumi said.

So caught up in his thoughts, he'd forgotten to mask his own bitterness. Fukui was too stressed to notice the slip. Unfortunately, Nase's eyes had snapped to Isumi immediately, a shark latching onto the sight of a bloodied seal carcass, and the older boy froze up instinctively. It was beneath him to act so childishly, so he could only internally chide himself and studiously avoid Nase's eyes.

"Oh," Nase began casually, the look in her eyes anything but. "You've met Hikaru-kun's family?"

Isumi was saved from answering by Waya's return, which he regarded with a kind of desperate cheer that only sharpened Nase's gaze. The boy looked relaxed, likely bolstered by his short conversation with Saeki-sensei, and Isumi took account of that with a small flare of jealousy that he immediately rebuked himself for having.

"Only 15 more minutes," Fukui said with distinctive panic. Honda had returned back to the lobby as well, soda in hand and listening with such blatantly-fake regard to Shirakawa's admonishments that the insei instructor's amiable masked slipped enough to give a truly frightening glare.

Waya's eyes scanned the room but he made no mention of Hikaru's absence. Even then, Isumi knew the boy was looking for their classmate and tried not to feel bitter about it. Waya was Hikaru's friend too, and Isumi tried to remind himself that it was a personal matter between Hikaru and him and their family, not their friends.

"If Hikaru-kun doesn't show up," Nase suddenly spoke. "Would you be relieved?"

Her three friends whipped around to look at her, varying states of scandalized expressions on their faces. Privately, the girl was amazed she had even managed to get such a reaction from Fukui – the boy had a tendency to drown in his own dread.

"That idiot better show up, or I'll strangle him," Waya swore.

Nase clicked her tongue. "Not to be rude or anything," she said. "But he has the best chance of passing the Exam this time around. If we're lucky, no one worthwhile came from the preliminaries and we'll only really have to contend with each other for the last two spots."

"He's easily thrown off balance in new environments and against new opponents," Isumi pointed out. That was an observation he'd normally keep to himself out of politeness, but his kindness was limited now when it came to Hikaru and in the end, they were all competitors. They all wanted to become Go professionals, and in doing so, that made them all rivals for the same spots.

"That was weeks ago. And he grows stronger by the day," Fukui said. Waya's expression was pinched but he remained silent.

Nase's grin was mean. "By the game," she corrected. She gave a helpless little shrug, not quite meaning it but wanting to put it out there all the same. "If he doesn't show, that gives the rest of us a better chance at passing with one more viable spot."

Isumi hated this part of Nase. Not her competitive spirit, not her ruthlessness – but her brutal honesty. She was right, she had a point, and there was a part of Isumi that didn't want Hikaru to show, for all its myriad reasons.

But there was another part of Isumi, a larger part, that wanted Hikaru to show. Partly because they had been friends, partly because of ego; Isumi had to convince himself that he could face Hikaru, face the source of his new family's problems head-on and not take the coward's way out.

"He'll show," Isumi said. "On this Pro Exam or the next, it's only a matter of time before he goes professional."

Isumi could admit a certain…expectation. He didn't know the result of Hikaru's training with Fujiwara Meijin for the past two months, didn't know if his Go had been detrimentally affected by what had happened in Shindou Heihachi's home or only further spurned on. Isumi had grown stronger in the meanwhile, pushed by a desperation to prove himself to his grandfather – he now just had to see how that measured up against the Meijin's adopted son.

"I'd feel relieved," Nase chirped, eyes turned back to the lobby. A smile turned her lips, guileless but sincere. "But I'd also be so disappointed."

She seemed to visually brighten then, the cause of which was made obvious when Ikeshita – who had been loitering near the entrance with a constipated look on his face – made an audible groan. Isumi looked over in time to catch Hikaru stepping inside; he had that faintly-terrified look on his face that Isumi was beginning to become accustomed to, even if it wasn't nearly as feral-looking as the one he'd had in Isumi's study room.

"Well it's great to see you too," Hikaru snipped at his fellow insei. Ikeshita made a motion that was either dismissive or a plea for compassion. Uchida, standing nearby, paled drastically and started mumbling a prayer for luck.

Honda's good-natured laughter was a balm to the rising pressure in the room, the cause of which was still shooting Uchida a wary look like he didn't understand her sudden breakdown. "And just when I thought I'd be able to breeze through this Exam without much effort," Honda ribbed.

"…I live to bring you difficulties," Hikaru drawled.

Honda nodded sagely. "You and Shirakawa-sensei, but at least with you, I don't have to worry about getting drunk-dialed at two in the morning to hear about your latest messy breakup."

Hikaru's expression was similar to that of Waya's when he'd first seen the blond-banged boy recreate an entire game he'd played a week ago from memory alone, up to and including the disbelieving stupor. This allowed Honda to drag him towards where Waya and the others were, which was fortunately out of Shirakawa's immediate vicinity because the air around the insei instructor was basically implying murder.

"I think that's everyone from Class A," Nase said in lieu of a greeting. "You sure cut it close, Hikaru-kun~!"

Hikaru snorted, "Don't I know it…" It had taken longer than he'd thought to convince Sai he could take the subway this morning.

He greeted the others, green eyes resting on each in turn with as casual a tone as he could manage. He didn't think he imagined the way both Waya and Nase straightened a bit when he turned to Isumi. "Everyone ready?" Hikaru asked. His eyes rested on Isumi, and he wasn't smiling.

Before Waya could step in, since Isumi looked like he'd rather faint than answer and both Honda and Nase had apparently taken the visual cue that there was a strong underlying tension between the two top insei, Fukui made a choking sound. The youngest insei had his attention turned away from his friends, caught on the person who had just stepped into the lobby.

Waya followed Fukui's gaze, confused. "Who is that supposed to be?" he asked. He definitely didn't recognize the male that had startled an already-stiff Fukui. The others were equally as clueless, going from the bemused noises they'd made in answer.

"Remember, I told you about the guy who passed the preliminaries?" Fukui said haltingly.

Waya couldn't see how the other male could be seen as threatening. He was a runt of a kid, with an ugly haircut and round glasses. He was dressed nicer than most of them, like he was trying hard to be professional, but it ended up just looking a bit ridiculous when everyone else dressed casually.

"He didn't lose a single game in the preliminaries," Fukui's voice had dropped down almost to a whisper now. Fukui may not be the strongest insei present but he was still a promising talent - so when he said someone was strong, the others knew to take him seriously.

"What's his name?" Nase asked.

A successful preliminaries candidate was not to be taken lightly, even if they'd never heard of him before. Touya Akira had passed through the preliminaries, and Hikaru had appeared without one warning whisper – the title of 'insei' didn't mean they were the only ones worth watching.

Fukui cringed a little more into himself.

"His name is Ochi Kousuke."

A/N: Some people noticed the clue in the last chapter, but yeah~ Ochi~

Note 1) Family Registration System: Also known as koseki. See Chapter 8 for more notes on it.

Note 2) "If you meet the Buddha, kill the Buddha. If you meet your father, kill your father." - A widely-known koan (anecdote/dialogue/statement). To understand that all forms are false, preconceptions must be destroyed, and one will only understand the true perception when one has reached it, not by recognizing it from descriptions.

In short, Kawai is being a smarmy asshole.

Note 3) Sousuke's Tragedy Bunny: It's not a bunny.

Note 4) Ogata: I don't know about you, but if I lived alone, I wouldn't need 20+ plates for my single lifestyle. (ಡ艸ಡ)

Thanks for reading thus far! Please be kind and drop a review!

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Reviewer Reply Corner

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denizen of the night: I hope Isumi and Hikaru's relationship gets better too. They could really help each other if they could just handle the mess of their family.

Guest, May 8th: Thank you so much for your kind words.

Me-Anne: Akki makes really eccentric friends, but that's because he has such an eccentric personality himself, haha~ As for Masao, he actually has quite a few viable routes to handle the issue of Fujiwara Hikaru, some of which could be better for all involved. But part of Masao's struggle is his ability to discern such options, and it isn't likely he'll be able to do so quick enough to spare the children involved some unwarranted pain. And eeeh~ But I like you vicious, Me-Anne... It makes me smile. (๑꒪▿꒪)*

XienRue: I hope that by the end of this fic, Hikaru will have regained enough of his self-confidence and sense of worth to have faith in himself and others.

Arrysa: I do think Isumi is acting a bit self-centered but he's still growing, and to be fair, he's had his own share of issues. With the animosity created between them by Hikaru's visit to Heihachi, Isumi likely won't feel much of a drive to get to know Hikaru now. He doesn't know enough about Hikaru to understand why he's done what he has, and as far as Isumi can see, Hikaru is just being a selfish brat by having two families when Isumi is just trying to keep one. And yes, starting from the last chapter, Isumi is starting to breakdown - too many stresses are messing him up and he can't really maintain that mature countenance, as with the Shindou family being so distracted by Hikaru, Isumi has resumed his absolute self-reliance mode. Isumi needs ot leanr, much in the same way Hikaru does, that he now has people around him willing to help him, if he'd only just open his eyes and see that. (Waya, be strong!) And I'm saving my extra emotional mushy scenes between Hikaru and Sai for later. (winks) Because everything will hurt~

GoldenRat: Kaneko is such a good friend. :)

Z: LOL Just when you thought the drama of the Pro Exams would be enough with Isumi and Hikaru, now you have OCHI. And yes, Isumi is just so painfully insecure in his family, and if he wasn't in such a stark contrast with Hikaru, he would be a very sympathetic figure. He will have to resolve quite a bit of things before he goes anywhere, but I am so excited for him to meet (struggles not to smirk) Yang-Hai and the others. And the beach scene was fun, because Kishimoto despite appearances only invites chaos and literally all of his friends only make it worse, hahaha~

Fletset: Amekura the Go Player... That would be a wild ride. Until the point where Sai (and Ogata, and to some extent Akira) figure out he was one of the people who hurt Hikaru, and then he'd be killed before he could place the first stone. So in an effort to keep the Go scene relatively bloodless, you get Ochi. ( ᐛ )و

kuro mirai: Masao being able to mend his relationship with his biological son is largely dependent on Hikaru himself accepting him, and going by the heavy-handed way Masao is trying to reign him in, that bridge is likely to remain as a heap of ash. As for how much Masao will learn about Hikaru's time post-divorce, I'll let the chapters answer that. :)

silverscribbles: LOL I love that everyone's first reaction to a character they don't like is "I hope Kawai gets him!" ( ᐛ ) Hidaka is wonderful and I love her and she really is the only one that can reign Kishimoto in. And yep - Waya, be strong!

Idek: I love Isumi too! And I also really want him to (struggles to maintain straight face) go to China. I'm actually a MitaniKaneko shipper so every time they're in a scene together, I have to control myself. It's just a chant of "Platonic friendships are wonderful and I must show that!" the entire time, haha~

ten cent friend: Assuming Sai's dreamverse knowledge was right to begin with. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SoulFlames: LOL It's like we're all having this one giant conversation, haha!

aeglos: Thank you so much! I actually was kind of going for that type of narrative; I wanted every character to have a reason for their actions and their decisions, wanted their actions and reactions to make sense in the context of their character, and while that would explain them - it wouldn't necessarily excuse them. Masao's choices made sense in the context of his character but that still will not excuse him from the results of those choices. I am so happy that the story comes across as that! (I wanna hug you, aeglos!)

Guest, May 3rd: Yep, Kawai killed Shindou Mitsuko. When Amekura confronts Hikaru in a public space, there will definitely be lasting consequences...

Lady Lily Anne: LOL Tsutsui just needs to give in, there's no helping them, haha~ Hikaru's life led to his involvement with some very dangerous people, and it doesn't help that Sai comes with his own set of obsessive men. I def think you're right, they share some parallels, and it would definitely be interesting to see the showdown between Fujiwara Mitsuo and Amekura.

SakuraLuck: Aww, but I actually like Isumi! (゜▽゜;)

LoliDragon21: LOL Hikaru, no "killing" please~ Personally, I don't think any child predator has a chance of redemption. Even though someone like Masaki will have his reasons, it doesn't excuse the fact that he was the center to so many other children's anguish. Hopefully Amekura retains his 'creepy' image, I'm trying not to make it too heavy-handed, even with his growing murder count...

Also, thank you to kansiwa, snowy princess white, greymouser, and London-and-Lisa for their reviews! :)

Thank you everyone for reviewing!

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