Chapter 21
"I always do what I have to do, even if it's not really what I want to do. Like today when I had to sit tight unable to do a thing when Amanda and Percy insisted you question that terrorist," Michael explained. "It wasn't what I wanted, but what I had to do."
"As for you and the baby, I'm going to do my best to protect you both..." said Michael, hoping that he could make good on that promise.
~*~*~
Alex knew if it came down to it,honestly Michael seemed to be the only one she could trust.
She would never trust a single other person at Division. She just hoped that this baby would end up somewhere where they would feel wanted
and that they could trust the people in their life. Her hand rested on her stomach.
"I know you will," she said softly.
~*~*~
Soon the dinner was done, so Michael took it from the oven and placed it onto the table. He set the table with drinks, plates and silverware and announced to Alex to help herself. He took a seat himself and reached for his drink, taking a sip. Even dinner seemed a hundred times better, now that they were far away from Division.
~*~*~
Alex served herself and then sat down, picking up her fork to take a bite of
the lasagna.
It tasted good. It felt nice to be able to eat hot food, instead of the semi warm stuff
that Division served its recruits.
~*~*~
The premade lasagna was no gourmet meal, but it tasted great to Michael who was seriously sick of Division's icky food menu. Most of what was served for rations at Division was nothing but slop. Michael ate his dinner as he glanced across the table at Alex. It was weird being on the outside; being able to say, do, or feel without being told otherwise.
~*~*~
Alex washed down a bite of food with her drink, and then felt Michael's eyes on her.
She slowly lifted her head to look at him. She wasn't used to eating like this wtih Michael sitting across from her, yet
at the same time something felt natural about it. " What?" she asked softly, since he was looking at her.
~*~*~
Michael lightly shook his head as though coming out of his mental trance. "I was just thinking that now that we are free of Division for now, I could almost be myself... whatever myself is," he replied. He hadn't been himself, the true Michael for so long, that he had nearly forgotten who he actually was. He took his last few bites from his plate, then finished up his drink as well.
~*~*~
A short while later Alex had finished eating and drinking her drink. She stood to clear the empty plates and glasses, listening while Michael was talking.
She washed their dishes with soap and water before putting them in the dish rack to dry.
She wiped her hands on a towel and turned to Michael," Least you have something to be. I lost myself a long time ago," She said quietly.
Change became so easy for her, it scared it her.
~*~*~
Michael came to stand next to Alex, gazing deeply into her eyes. "You're mistaken about that. My life belongs to Division and it has for quite some time. All I have is the next few months, here with you..." he said quietly. "Because after that, both of us are going back, and it will return to the same."
~*~*~
Alex looked at Michael, few months to what? She couldn't even make her mouth speak.
Her heart started pounding in her chest, just because he was close to her. She hated that, her body always had a way of betraying her when it came to him. She
couldn't put herself through that.
"I know," she said quietly. She swallowed," I..."
~*~*~
"Alex, while we are here, we can both let go and be ourselves. We've had a terrible start, I know that... and I've been an ass to you, and I'm sorry for that. I'd like to say I'll make it up to you, but I can't," Michael said with a heavy sigh. "I just hope you don't hate me..." He looked at her, wincing a little because he couldn't blame her if she did hate him.
~*~*~
"Which is what Michael? Am I supposed to just go with the flow? Or am I supposed to give into my desires? or am I supposed to just be okay with the
fact
that I can rest easy because Im away from Divison?" She was just so confused about what
it was to be herself. She sighed," Please don't say sorry if you don't mean it. You are how you are, and I've gotten used to that fact."
~*~*~
"Rest easy that for now you are away from Division and the rest will come in time. Just so you don't forget that we both have to go back when the baby comes," replied Michael. "And I did mean it when I said I am sorry but you don't have to accept my apology. That's up to you." Needing his space, Michael gave her one last glance, then went to stand outside on the front porch, feeling the cool night air upon his skin.