Good evening, my lovely readers! Thank you all for reading, reviewing, favoriting, and following my story. As always, I was deeply humbled by your attention. I saw other people doing this, so I decided that I will also be answering reviews at the bottom of each next chapter. I hope you guys didn't think me rude for the lack of personalized answers before, but I am trying to make it up to you all in the future.

About this chapter: 18+! If you are not okay with that kind of content, please do not read it. For everyone else, I hope you guys enjoy it.

I really tried to challenge myself here, and wrote it mostly from Allen's perspective. I probably made him pretty OOC in this story but that has probably been pretty clear from the beginning. I hope you guys don't mind it too much!

As always, I appreciate any feedback from you guys, but above all I just hope I can brighten your days with my writing. (Well, there is a lot of angst so maybe not "brighten", but at least entertain you in some way.)

Song for the chapter: Godsmack - Love Hate Sex Pain

Enjoy!

Chapter 21: Burn with me

"You don't have to want it. You don't have to need it. You don't have to take it. I am giving it to you."

The words echoed in the silence of the room, but they barely registered in Allen's mind. He was captivated by the sheer power of Aina's voice and her gaze as she stood in front of him exposed, raw, yet more powerful than ever. Allen's chest tightened painfully, despite the heat rising inside of him, stirring something wild and carnal in him. There was a chasm in his mind, a sharp divide in his reaction, and the two sides were fighting for control ruthlessly. A part of him was overwhelmed by a raw, animalistic desire to possess the girl in front of him, offering herself to be taken by him, to be devoured. This need was primal, making his blood rush to his cock in an instant, making the pants he was wearing suddenly feel extremely tight. His muscles tensed in anticipation, waiting to be called upon to cross the distance between their bodies, and to unite them in fervor.

No. It's not right. This is so much more.

The other part of him was aching, in deep sharp twists of his soul, dragging his consciousness into a dark, dangerous place. They were both far from innocent, yet he felt wrong and undeserving of what she was offering. It wasn't just her body anymore, it wasn't just fleeting pleasure and a few stolen moments of wild, mindless desire. No, for the first time, she was letting him take all, everything that she was, everything she had left. Never in his life, not even on the brink of death, had he ever felt so weak and undeserving. Standing in front of him was someone who has been through hell and back, experienced more darkness than most people see in ten lifetimes, and was broken over a thousand times just to be mended back together by her sheer willpower, and after all of that she still found the courage to offer her trust to him.

There was no pleading in her eyes, she was not begging for his affections or love. It was Aina's way of opening up to him and showing him all that she was. In that moment, there was no walls between them, she tore them all down, letting him see every little complexity of her soul through those piercing green eyes.

Allen was torn. There was no denying that he wanted her, so much that his entire body was aching from the resistance, and not only because he was a man. No, this all-devouring need stemmed from much deeper in his soul that had been building since the first moment they met, and was growing with each interaction, gaze, and stolen moment of passion. They understood each other on a different level, connected through their pain and suffering, and that is exactly why he found his body unmoving. Allen knew just exactly how broken he was and how deep the damage ran. He was in pieces and there was darkness inside of him that he was not ready to part with yet.

She deserves better than me.

Aina's gaze suddenly wavered, and Allen realized that she must have sensed his hesitation, interpreting it as denial. In an instant, shame and guilt appeared on her expression, and she moved to cover up her breast with her arms.

"God, you are so beautiful," Allen breathed out almost instinctively that made her snap her gaze up at him again. He could see the confusion in her eyes, but she stopped reaching for her clothes. Her hand trembled in the air and Allen had to fight back the urge to reach out to her. "Don't think that I don't…"

The words died in his throat as Aina walked closer to him and placed her hand softly on his chest, just over his heart. The strength of the pounding felt even more intense under her fingertips, but Allen did not move. His silver orbs were drowning in emerald, a look of knowing. Aina knew what he was offering, and she still wanted it. Still wanted him.

"You are not as broken as you think," she said softly as she removed her hand from his chest to reach for his, entwining their fingers together. "You can always mend it all together as long as you have all the pieces."

"You deserve better." Allen finally said it, but the girl only smiled at him and pulled him to the bed. "Aina…"

"I don't want better," she retorted as climbed onto the bed. Resting on her knees and looking up at him, Allen felt his resolve disappear and his hands reached for her as he bent down to her. Aina's eyes fluttered closed as she felt the boy's lips brush against hers, goosebumps running up on her skin.

It was electric, how the faintest touch caused his lips to burn and thunder, pulling him in in an instant. She slowly rose, never breaking the touch of their lips that was not yet a kiss, just a simple promise. Now, level with him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body that she had yet to dare to touch. It wasn't a fear of rejection or uncertainty that made them keep their distance, no. It was the intensity of the force between them, making their mind hazy with want that was so utterly terrifying that it froze them in one place.

Allen had never felt such insanity in the presence of someone, no matter how much he wanted them. She wasn't the first one and maybe she wouldn't be the last, but Allen knew that this intensity only belonged to her. It wasn't just infatuation with the promise of her body, a simple play of his hormones; he yearned for every little detail about her. The soft curves of her body, the faint freckles on her shoulders, the scar on her abdomen, the long, muscular legs, the warmness of her touch, and all the pain the petite body held locked inside.

Allen let out a glow growl when he felt Aina's lips lock on the sensitive skin of his neck, leaving a burning trail down to his collarbone, while swift fingers unbuttoned his shirt. The air felt cold on his skin, drawing more attention to the warm lips encircling his nipple and the wicked tongue that played ruthlessly around it. Long fingers slid into her long, blonde tresses automatically, his head tipping back slightly, although her eyes never left the girl in front of him. Allen wanted to see her, drink up the view of her pleasuring him, etching the sight into his memories.

Aina continued to trail down on his body, her ands following her mouth but taking their time to explore every inch of his body. Her fingers and palm barely connected with Allen's skin, yet it felt like a thunderstorm between their skin: wild and untamable. A low hiss escaped from his mouth when he felt her tongue swirl in is belly button, leaving a cold sensation behind as moved lower and lower until she reached his pants. Allen's eyes darkened with lust as he watched her unbutton him, freeing his already weeping erection. Part of him expected her to look at his cock dutifully, like others had before, just a chore to be done to pleasure him. Allen almost came right there when he saw the sheer lust in her eyes as she slid her hand up on his member almost reverently, and nuzzled her nose to the head to breathe him in.

"You smell good,", she breathed out in a low, velvety voice that made Allen harder that he had ever been in his life before. It took him every inch of his will to hold back.

"Don't say things like that or I…" Allen tried to warn her, but the words died in his throat when lips locked on his cock and took him in all the way. "Holy fuck," he breathed out, eyes half mast with lust, as he felt his head hit the back of her throat. Aina didn't let him revel in that, slowly starting to bob her head while her tongue played a dangerous game on the sensitive skin.

It was not the most skillful blowjob he ever received, and if he wanted to be completely honest with himself, he never much liked getting them, anyways. They always felt good, of course, but if he was going to have sex with a stranger, he would much rather just cut to the chase. Besides, with the nameless girls and women, it was always the feeling of control, being submitted to, was what really turned him on. However, seeing Aina on her knees in front of him, with his dick emerged in her mouth, he knew that none of that was true anymore.

He was not the one in control, and he fucking loved every second of it.

Even though Aina's hands were on his hips, she didn't stop him from thrusting into her mouth violently. "Fuck, Aina…I'm gonna…"

Allen wanted to pull away but that's when Aina's hands held him tight, and she took him deep in her mouth again. The thought of her swallowing him down was enough to send him over the edge and she took all of it, sucking and taking every drop that he had. The power of his orgasm caused a temporary blackout in his brain and made his knees shake, almost failing to hold him up. It was absolutely ecstatic, and he wanted more.

When he finally regained his composure, he expected to see Aina's disgusted expression, but there was none of it. Allen felt his body heat with desire again as she licked her lips slowly, eyes hazy with lust. Never in his life before he wanted to possess another human being as much as he did in that moment. His lips came down on hers in a bruising kiss, not caring about his own taste on his tongue, because in that moment all that mattered was tasting her. His hands wondered to her most sensitive spot, and to his greatest surprise, she was already extremely wet. Aina must have noticed the surprise in his eyes, because she pulled him down on the bed and whispered hotly in Allen's ears, "You have no idea how hot it was to have you fuck my mouth like that."

Those words… It only took Allen to hear those words for a loud growl to sound deep in his throat and to crash their mouth together again in a painful, bruising kiss. He bit and tore into her lips, drawing blood, breaking the thin skin, but she rewarded him with the most erotic moans and whimpers that only further fueled his frenzy. The intensity of their contact blinded him completely, taking over his mind, and the only thing he knew in that moment was that he wanted to absolutely devour and break that sinful body in front of him. Allen wanted to speak, but all words died in his throat, so he channeled everything he felt into his lips and his hands, to worship the girl in his arms.

Tasting, feeling, holding, breathing everything that she was, Allen slowly trailed down on the girl's body, only stopping for a few minutes to pay his respects to the already-hard nipples. He reveled in each moment when her body arched into his touch and she threw her head back to let out a soft, low, moan.

"Allen," Aina breathed out, voice husky from pleasure, when the white-haired exorcist sucked on her skin on her inner thigh. Allen could smell her desire for him, and he oh so wanted to taste it, but not before he commanded more of those pleading moans out of her. So, he continued to nibble on the sensitive flesh, only slowly inching closer to her most sensitive spot, which made her plead desperately, "Please… Allen…"

Before he even tasted her, Allen was already rock hard, his balls aching for release, but he wanted to take his time with her. That look on her face, drowning in pleasure and the intensity of her reactions to his touch were just too fucking hot for him to deny. Allen wanted her to scream from pleasure, to plead and beg for him, and to scream his name over and over again.

The first time he tasted her was out of curiosity and to rile her, but he still remembered that sweet taste on his tongue, and he wanted more of it. With one hand, Allen held the girl's hips in place, while he parted the sensitive flesh and slid his tongue along as a slick digit entered her. Aina instinctively tried to lift her hips into his touch, but he held her firmly, continuing his sinful play with his tongue, licking, swirling, twirling around her clitoris, and sucking every drop of her wetness. A second finger slid into her hot cavern and moved skillfully, never parting his lips from her. Oh, how much he enjoyed the sounds and noises she was making, he didn't even care that anyone could hear it passing the door. No, he was not going to deny himself those moans and whimpers even if it was against the rules. The fact that the door was not even locked only aroused him even more, if the sight of Aina lost in pleasure was not enough to almost send him over the edge again.

When her body began to shake and convulse even more, Allen knew that she was close. He slid another finger in and sucked harder on her clitoris while rubbing his tongue under it, immediately causing an orgasm ripple through her body. Allen wanted to watch her so bad but he could no longer hold himself back. With a swift move, he pushed his cock deep into the girl, earning a scream of pleasure from her throat. She was still riding out her orgasm when Allen entered her and started moving, not letting her pleasure fade. Aina writhed and screamed his name again, sharp nails digging into his back.

"Fuck, Aina…You are so fucking hot," Allen pressed through his teeth. He did not want to finish too quickly, but he knew he was fighting a losing battle. Being inside Aina was cathartic alone but seeing her react to him in such a deep, sensual way was making him lose his restraint completely. But there was so much he wanted to do to her, so many ways he wanted to possess her, it just wasn't enough.

With a quick move, he pulled out and flipped her around, but stopped at her entrance uncertainly. He sure was dying to do her from behind, but he wasn't sure if that's how she wanted it. Allen thought he saw stars when he felt Aina push backwards, sheathing him inside of her with fluid grace.

"Fuck," Allen breathed out when the girl proceeded to move, fucking herself with him kneeling behind her. It was just too much; his fingers dug deep in her hips as he latched on, violently picking up the pace and slamming into her over and over again.

When he felt himself getting dangerously close to release, he pulled Aina up by her shoulders, pressing her body to his front. She looked at him with eyes filled with such desire it almost knocked him back, as she rested her head on his shoulder. Not wasting time, one hand latched onto one of her breast while the other one found its way to her clitoris, rubbing them to the rhythm of his continuous pounding.

The orgasm rippled through him as Aina reached hers, and he was certain he blacked out for a few second. Never in his life before had he experienced an orgasm of this magnitude, ecstasy to this height. All of his muscles were shaking, and he could barely hold up the girl collapsing into his arms. He slowly pulled out, and reality only started to hit him when he felt his cum trailing down on the inside of her thighs. Again, she must have noticed his worry, because she turned around and smiled at him sweetly.

"You weren't worried about that the last two times," she teased him and pulled him down to the bed, draping the cover over them.

"Confirms that I was in a very questionable mental state both time," he laughed, his gaze running over the girl's form that was only covered by a thin sheet. A part of him thought that he could get her out of his system after this, but he found himself completely insatiable. His hand reached out to her almost automatically, pulling her close to their naked skin would touch again, immediately causing Allen's blood to rush south.

"How about now?" Aina asked in a low, velvety voice, as she slowly started to stroke Allen's member. Only a low growl sounded from the white-haired Exorcist's throat, as he tried to roll on top of her again, but this time she resisted. "It's my turn now."

Aina placed herself over his lap, dragging her wetness over his growing cock, making it burn with anticipation. Allen would have thought that he needed more time to get ready, but the aching need between his legs begged to differ. His fingers dug deep into the other Exorcist's thighs when she started to tease him by dragging his head along her, teasing the entrance but never allowing him to enter. Continuing her little game, she bent down, crashing their lips together again and deepening it in an instant. Allen didn't hesitate to explore every inch of her mouth, calling her tongue for a wild dance while exploring her body once again with his hands. Even though he wanted nothing more than being inside of her, every touch not matter how faint and fleeting had an incredible effect on him. If he was not sure before, now he was absolutely certain that he would never let anyone else touch her while he was on this Earth. She was his, and his only.

The sudden possessiveness flared inside of Allen so powerfully, he couldn't restrain himself from letting out a low, violent growl as his hand latched onto the girl's breasts. The white-haired Exorcist saw a smirk appear in the corner of the girl's mouth, but the next moment caused him to almost forget his own name as Aina fully lowered herself onto his cock. It took all of Allen's strength to stop his eyes rolling back from the sudden burst of pleasure; he wanted to see the blonde girl's reaction of taking all of him. Her head was tilted back, but he could still see the faint blush on her face, her back was arched back, making her breasts look rounder and perkier than ever, while her hips looked sinfully inviting.

"God, Aina, you drive me so mad," he whispered roughly as he sat up, only to look his lips onto her nipple. The girl let out a deep moan, and rewarded him with a buckle of her hips, sending a wave of pleasure of the boy.

Then she did it again and again, riding Allen into nirvana and joining him in blissful pleasure one more time. They rode out the aftershock of their orgasms laced together in silence until their breaths finally steadied. Aina was ready to pull away but Allen held her tight, lifting her chin up to lock their gazes together.

"Running away again?" He whispered into her lips, sending goosebumps down her skin.

She glanced away for a second, almost ashamed, but then looked at him with a small, sad smile. "It's what I do best."

"No more running," he pleaded with her, which made anger flare up in her eyes. Allen knew her better now to think it was directed at him, but he still let her pull away for him.

"It makes no different whether I run with you or without you. The Order will keep on chasing until they take away everything. If they knew this, they would take you away too." She almost sounded defeated which was very unlike her, making her words all the more powerful.

Allen had not seen the dark side of the Order, but he didn't doubt that it was there or the depths of it. Aina was not a liar and he had spent enough time with her to know the extent of her pain. No matter how hard she was trying to hide, it was clear as day that she was suffering from PTSD, triggering panic attacks when she comes close to situations that trigger memories from her past. Allen knew that she had a particularly hard time at the Asian Branch since it was where she grew up, with every hallway reminding her of her torment. At the same time, the Order was still the lesser of two evils, and they needed their resources if they wanted to stand a chance against the Millennium Earl. Allen knew that was the only reason why Aina was still sticking around, even though he was hoping that maybe now she had one more reason to.

"I know." Allen responded quietly, taking the girl's hands into his. "I am not going to pretend that I am strong enough to fight the Order while the Noahs are still out there hurting innocent people and murdering out comrades, and I know you are not asking me to. But I'll be damned if I let them hurt those close to me."

"I know," she sighed and pulled her hand out of his embrace, so she can lay back down on the bed. Allen laid next to her silently, watching the girl's inner battle play out in her eyes. "What now, Allen?"

"Does it matter what I say?" He asked sharper than normal, although there was still softness in his voice. "We both know I can't stop you from walking away again."

"It's not as simple!" Aina exclaimed as she set up abruptly, and covered her face in her hands, like she was embarrassed of the intensity of her feelings. Allen didn't push her, simply set up on his knees and softly ran his fingers through the girl's long, blonde tresses.

"I know. I can take down all the Level 3 Akuma, but I am not sure I could walk away from you after this." His voice was rough with emotion he did not want to hold back anymore.

"Please, Allen. Don't say these words out loud. Just don't. I can't…" She pleaded but she could not finish her sentence due to the lips that captured hers again, further bruising the sensitive flesh.

This time, their kiss was different. All the words that were held back, everything that they didn't dare to say was poured into it, the bitterness and hopelessness mixing with the saltiness of Aina's tears. Strong arms held her close, kissing her slowly and softly until the shaking of her body subsided, sharing in her pain quietly.

Allen wondered how he ended up here, tangled with the other Exorcist, but he realized that he wouldn't have changed it for anything. It was almost perverse how he found her darkness so magnetic, pulling him in with such intensity. During his travels, he met plenty of girls, and some of them were more attractive than the girl in his arms, only considering looks. However, they all lacked her rawness and her complexity. Would he feel the same way if she was a normal, happy girl? He knew he wouldn't, and that made him sick to his stomach.

Am I so fucked in the head that I need her to be broken for me to want her?

Maybe, it wasn't that he needed her to be damaged goods, because that's certainly not how he really saw her. Yes, she had experienced a lot of pain in her life, but that is not what made Aina, Aina. It was how she never gave up, never let anyone beat her down, and never stopped to fight for what she believed it.

She always keeps walking.

In a way, deep down, Allen always knew that the magnetic pull between them stemmed from a bond formed through a mutual journey of pain and loneliness. A thread of desperation connecting their hearts together in an unbreakable connection. But denial was a much easier route, even though it was slowly eating him alive from within. He still ached, and his sorrow still ran deep, but the ability to share it with someone made it just a tiny bit easier to carry. Allen wasn't stupid to think that it would last forever and that there would be no more pain that they had to endure, but for now, he was okay. Maybe, it was all that pain that made their relationship so volatile, pouring into every interaction between them, intensifying it into the maximum. It was also what made it so incredibly addicting. Whether they were fighting or fucking it didn't matter, both were equally intoxicating, and Allen needed more of it. He just needed to feel something other than deep, dark sorrow.

Sliding a rogue lock of hair out the of the girl's face, he found himself lost in the pool of deep green eyes that gleamed with understanding. He never needed words for her to understand, and she never asked him to say it out loud. Aina laid a chaste kiss on his lips before she pulled them back onto the pillows and draped the thin cover over their bodies.

"We will keep walking," Allen murmured before he drifted into sleep.

Aina waited for his breathing to stop before she quietly sat up in the bed and let out a deep sigh. She had every intention to leave the room, but looking down at Allen's sleeping form, she could no longer deny herself his warmth. Not after what just happened between them.

"We will keep walking… because I can no longer walk away from you, Allen."

Well, I hope you all head a pleasant time reading this chapter! Please leave me a quick comment if you have a minute! And now onto my responses to all the lovely reviews that I received since the previous chapter was posted.

Emilia Lozano El: Thank you so so much for your continued support and your lovely reviews! I also very much appreciate that you really think about Aina and Allen's relationship and appreciate it for what it is. And still have hope left for them. I hope this chapter will help you understand them a little more and add to their complexity without making it too confusing. It was very new for them to experience this much emotion at once and I really hope I didn't butcher it by making it too cheesy and unrealistic. I still want them to feel real, especially when working with an OC. Anyways, I'm rambling, and all I really need to say is THANK YOU for sticking it out with me!

Roberta Lozano: Thank you, thank you, thank you, for your lovely reviews over and over again and sticking it out with me and my ridiculous roller coasters in this story! I can't put it in words how much it humbles me that you give so much thought to my little story and appreciate Aina and Allen's journey. I bet they can be very annoying sometimes, but I hope that it still makes sense. I think she somehow turned out to be a lot like myself, a little bratty and messed up in the head, but still trying to be a good person. Thank you for always leaving such a thoughtful comment, it really helps me understand how my writing comes through and build on it in the next chapters. I hope you will keep on reading! Good luck with university and I hope my story can give you a little bit of a mental break from the stress!

[P.s. Are you and Emilia Lozano El related? (FF for some reason doesn't let me write out the real username...) Just curious about the similarity in the names. And that both of you are awesomeee.]

crownclown25: Not sure if you will ever get to this chapter, but I hope I managed to keep up the spiciness, haha. And as for my OC, thank you so much for your lovely review about her. Honestly, I think she somehow just turned out to be like me because I think I would probably fail to write a character that is so different. I do want to challenge myself in later chapters though and see if I can take on Lenalee well, since I wasn't satisfied with her in earlier chapters. I guess my advice with writing an OC would be to take your time. She/He is probably awesome in your head but if you rush their personality in actual writing, they can come out flat. You in your head fill out the details and make them truly who they are, but if you are inpatient to get to the good parts with them, you will miss out on explaining important things about them. I know I have also rushed Aina in the beginning, that's why I plan to rewrite the story and improve on her personality. I hope that makes sense! Thank you so much again for your support, it means the world to me!

See you all next time:)