The file you are reading is not meant for your eyes; put it down and walk away or I Tseng Director of the Turks, or my successor, will find you and silently and effectively remove you from society, to then slowly starve and torture you to your breaking point. It is as this point that we will bring you do the absolute middle of nowhere where you will be given your freedom of choosing how you would like to die. Should you ever make it back to society the Turks will take this is as you rejecting our kindness of letting you choose your own death, and will be subject to a death at either my, or my successor's, discretion. This is the record of six of my most extraordinary Turks. They came from another world, a world where Final Fantasy 7 is owned by Square Enix but this is their story and theirs alone. For the sake of the future I left a record of their adventures locked deep in the Turk Archives but only if the fate of the world is threatened should this file be opened. You have been warned. Read at your own risk.
-Tseng Akira, Director of the General Affairs Department, Shinra Electric Power Company
Chapter 20: Bring On The Chaos… Hehe, Sugar!
"I'm sure I've said this before, but you're going to wear out the carpet pacing like that." Alanna said to Genesis from where she sprawled in one of his office chairs. He was pacing back and forth in front of his desk, again. This seemed to be happening more and more often these days.
"Well if you didn't do things like that in public, I wouldn't have to pace." he snapped. Alanna grinned.
"So, it's okay to do things like that in private?" She asked, innocently. He stopped to glare at her and scowled.
"NO! Do you make a habit of kissing random people?" He asked. Alanna's grin twisted a little as she tried desperately not to laugh.
"No, I don't. I only kiss guys I like. You don't see me kissing Matti or Morgan, so that should tell you something." She said, as she got up. Genesis stared at her, his brain completely baffled, as she walked out of the room.
"When are Matti and Piper getting back from the Golden Saucer?" Mary asked, leaning against the back of the couch a few days later.
"They should be back really soon." Ryu said, as she sprawled across one of the chairs. Alanna nodded her head.
"And now what do we do with Zack until then? He was bouncing off the walls last time I checked." She asked.
"Tire him out, like we would any puppy?" Ryu asked, tiredly. She yawned and rubbed her eyes.
"You all right?"
"I was tracking a high profile thief last night, Tseng suspects he's been hired to steal files from Shinra, since several of the higher up's homes have been broken into. We got a tip on his location and Reno, Rude and myself were sent to get him."
"Did you get him?"
"Yeah." Ryu headed toward the kitchen, "I need coffee." She muttered. She pulled down the biggest cup and filled it to the brim.
"Why don't you just drink the whole pot?" Alanna teased. Ryu grinned.
"I was nice and left some for you, in case you wanted some." Ryu said sweetly. Alanna eyed the pot.
"Not much. So you up to helping me make materia candy?" She asked. Ryu slapped her palm against her forehead.
"Doh. I forgot we planned to do that today." Alanna laughed.
"Yes Fire Cracker, that is today." She said.
"I'm game for it. You know I never say no when you suggest making candy, Dumbapple." Ryu said.
"Well let's get started then." Alanna said. Ryu grinned.
"Don't have to tell me twice."
Mary groaned and walked away before they really got going back and forth. "Well, you guys have fun," she mumbled to herself.
"No, I just have to remind you about it." Alanna said, still chatting with Ryu. Ryu laughed.
"We all have our bad days." She protested.
"Bad? You're just plain old forgetful."
"Do I get not credit for the fact that I was up all night long catching a thief?" Ryu asked, as she climbed up onto the counter to sit next to the microwave. Alanna laughed.
"You should have caught him sooner, and this feels like old times doesn't it?
"What, that I'm too short to reach the microwave attached to the cupboard?" Ryu asked.
"Yeah, you sat on the counter last time."
"The last time we made candy in the dorm, not in the apartment."Ryu reminded her.
"Remember how Mary ate all the chocolates with raspberries in them?" Ryu asked. Alanna nodded her head.
"All I wanted was one." She protested.
"Or five." Ryu said laughing, "It took my family forever to finish the rest of them."
"You brought them back too, that fall."
"Yep. Mom said bring 'em back, we don't need them."
"This time we're making even bigger ones."
"You know what would be good in the centers?" Ryu said wistfully.
"What?"
"Peanut butter. I miss peanut butter." Ryu said longingly.
"Oh Gaia, that would be delicious." Alanna agreed, "It would be like a giant Reese's."
"Mmmm, Reese's." Ryu said, licking her lips.
"Looking back, I feel like we should have bought every bag we could find."
"We'd have been much fatter when we got here." Ryu pointed out.
"But it would have been worth it."
"For peanut butter, it would have been." She agreed, grinning. Zack wandered in.
"Whatcha guys talking about?" He asked.
"Peanut butter." they chorused. He looked confused.
"What's that?" He asked, as he fished around in the cookie jar. His hand came out empty.
"It's a paste you make by taking nuts and smashing them, and then you put it on pretty much any food you want." Alanna said, with an evil grin, knowing full well how much guys disliked that particular description. Zack winced.
"You haven't made more cookies?" He asked plaintively, "You know your peanut butter sounds like something we have in Gongaga."He added grinning.
"I see where this is going..." Ryu said, as she hopped off the counter. Zack grinned.
"I'll have my mom send me some if..."
"If we make cookies." Ryu said. Zack grinned and nodded his head. He put his hands together over his chest and tipped his head to the side.
"Please?" He asked, looking sad. Ryu laughed and pushed him out of the kitchen.
"Go, and yes we'll make cookies." She said.
"Aw man, I love you guys!" he exclaimed, before he left to go down to the SOLDIER floor. Ryu shook her head.
"I'll work on the cookies, you work on the materia." Ryu said. Alanna grinned.
"Drink your coffee first."She said. Ryu grinned and took a large swallow.
"Oh, after this I plan to have an energy drink." She said. Alanna grinned.
"Good idea!" Ryu laughed.
"Then I'll need two to keep up with you." She decided. Alanna grinned.
"Who, me?" She asked.
"Yes, you." Ryu agreed, grinning as she got the ingredients out to make cookies.
"You should put some dried fruit into them."
"If you suggest raisins, I will hit you."
"I was thinking those caramelized thingies we saw Angeal snacking on the other day."
"He might object to having his snacks taken for food he doesn't even eat."
"Oh fine, make boring cookies."
"I was going to frost them, or suggest dipping them in the leftover chocolate."
"Well, okay then."
After the chocolates and cookies were made, the two of them hopped onto the counter, and nibbled on a cookie and a materia as they finished their energy drinks.
"Did you see how Tseng acted around Cloud after the VR room fight?" Alanna asked Ryu. Ryu nodded her head.
"Think there's something there?"
"Possibly." Alanna took a long swallow of her drink.
"You know Tseng would never make a move..." Ryu trailed off, as Sephiroth walked in.
"I smell cookies." he said. Ryu pointed to the tray of frosted cookies.
"Thank Zack when you see him." She told him, as he grabbed three.
"Why?" He asked around a mouthful of cookie.
"He's the one who begged." Ryu said.
"Actually, he used bribery, it works much better." Alanna corrected. Ryu grinned.
"Yes it does." She agreed, as she licked chocolate from her fingers.
"And what kind of bribery do you accept?" Seph asked.
"From you? We'll take energy drinks." Alanna said. He shook his head, laughing, and snitched another cookie before he left the kitchen. Ryu shook her head.
"We need to distract Matti." Ryu added. They traded a glance.
"MARY!" They both yelled. Mary popped her head into the room.
"What?" She asked. Ryu threw a bunch of chocolates, she caught them surprised.
"Wanna chase Matti around while we lock Tseng and Cloud up?" Alanna asked her. Mary grinned evilly.
"Can I annoy the hell out of him?" She asked. They both grinned evilly.
"That's why we gave you chocolate." Ryu told her. Alanna grinned and nodded. Mary grinned and shoved two into her mouth. She smiled happily and skipped out of the room, hollering at the top of her lungs,
"Matti, Matti, Matti, Matti,Matti"
"Let's beat it out of the kitchen, before anyone else comes looking for food." Ryu said, hopping off the counter. She snagged a water bottle from the fridge before they left the apartment.
"So why won't he make a move?" Alanna asked, as they stood in the elevator.
"He feels he's too old for him."
"Bologna." Alanna said. Ryu shrugged.
"But that's how he feels."
"So, do you have any ideas for overcoming that?"
"Short of locking them up in a very cold place? No."
"You know that could be arranged." Alanna giggled. Ryu smiled.
"We'd have to find said place."
"A closet would work just fine."
"Then they'd really be coming out of the closet..." Ryu laughed. Alanna grinned.
"Can we please?"
"Do you think it's wise?" Ryu asked.
"Wise? As if we ever cared about what was wise. I wouldn't call training with the firsts wise either.' Alanna sighed, "If nothing else, it would make them talk to each other."
"Good point. Let's find that closet..."
"With air conditioning in it." Alanna added.
"Of course."
They split up, and ran up and down the three floors of the Turk's area, laughing as they bumped into each other and other people.
"Bossman!" Mary went screaming down the halls in a loud high pitched voice. Matti winced and cringing came out into the hall.
"What?" he asked.
"Bossman. Bossman, bossman. Hi, bossman, how are you bossman? Guess what bossman?" she continued in a hyper, fast paced childish voice, "I had some chocolate, it's good chocolate, Alanna and Ryu made it. You should have some, its good. Am I annoying you bossman? If I am that's too bad." Matti winced and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"What do you want Mary?" He stressed. Mary grinned.
"I AM annoying you, that's too bad I just wanna talk." She continued.
"Why did they give you sugar?" He asked to no one. Mary grinned.
"Hey bossman, guess what?" Matti gave a pained look and started to back away.
"Aw Bossman don't run away. I just want to give you a hug. " She said following him her arms open to hug him. Matti backed away faster shaking his head.
"No."
Tseng watched as Ryu dashed by laughing as Matti ran away from Mary who was skipping behind him. Reno cocked his head to the side.
"Isn't today her day off, yo?" he asked. Tseng nodded his head.
"Yes it is."
"Then why is she...?" Reno asked, confused. Rude sighed.
"She appears to have ingested something similar to Sephiroth's energy drinks in effect." He said. Reno's eyes widened.
"Oh. Oh dear. I feel bad for the poor schmuck she's plotting against, yo." He said. Tseng sighed.
"Regarding the thief?" He asked.
"Oh right." Reno said.
"Found it!" Alanna called. Ryu came sprinting around the corner. They were in the archives. Alanna opened the door, revealing a small, empty room.
"It's not a closet but..." She said. Ryu laughed.
"Yes it is, it's the closet they use when they have to work with delicate materials. They even call it the closet."Ryu told her. Alanna laughed.
"Well that explains the high powered A.C. in here."
"So how do we get them down here?" Ryu asked.
"I hadn't thought that far." Alanna admitted. Ryu grinned.
"It wouldn't be that hard to get Cloud down here, just tell him to follow you. Tseng on the other hand, is a bit more difficult."
"We have to make this work." Alanna muttered, just as Cloud stuck his head into the archives.
"How did you get in here? You're not a Turk." Ryu said, surprised. Cloud smiled shyly.
"I followed Reno into the office." He admitted. Ryu snickered.
"Ha, that'll serve him right." Ryu said as she chortled.
"Cloud, what are you doing here?" Tseng asked he walked in; he looked at Ryu and Alanna.
"What are you two doing in here for that matter?" He asked. Ryu and Alanna traded looks and grinned.
"We're just plotting, Tseng. We're absolutely harmless." Alanna said, as Ryu shifted to the side of the room.
"I can see you Ryu."Tseng said, sighing. She grinned.
"But Cloud didn't until you said something." She agreed. Cloud eyed her nervously.
"What are you doing?" He asked. Ryu grinned.
"I'm gonna try my hand at Chocobo herding." He scowled at her.
"Chocobo?" Tseng asked, confused.
"Don't say it..." Cloud muttered.
"Yeah, Cloud looks like a chocobo." Alanna told him. Tseng tilted his head to the side looking at Cloud, who was facing Ryu.
Ryu lunged forward. Cloud skipped to the side. Cloud eyed Ryu, there was a mischievous glint in her eyes as she walked toward him, Cloud backed up.
"You'll thank me for this later." She whispered to him and pointed to the room.
"In Chocobo." She said. Cloud glared at her.
"Please?" She asked, batting her lashes.
"Heads up Ryu!" Alanna said. Ryu ducked as Tseng was launched over her shoulder. Ryu lunged forward slamming her shoulder into Cloud's knees, making him fall backwards into the closet. Alanna quickly closed the door and threw the lock home.
"How'd did you throw him?" Ryu asked, just before the door shuddered as Cloud kicked it.
"Oh, the Chocobo is unhappy." She noted.
"I tackled him, he was watching you." She knocked on the door.
"Behave in there, we'll let you out in a bit, but in the mean time, you two need to talk."
"Among other things." Ryu giggled.
Cloud and Tseng eyed each other.
"Talk about what?" Tseng called. There was a giggle.
"Ask Cloud. Oh and Director, please don't freeze. Cloud should be fine, but you might get a little cold..." Ryu said.
"Guess all the work will be up to you Cloud." Alanna added. Cloud flushed. Tseng looked at him, puzzled. Cloud sank down to sit with his knees drawn up, his arms resting on them. He hung his head.
"What are they talking about?" Tseng asked.
"I have no clue." Cloud muttered.
"They seem to think you do." Tseng said, sitting next to him on the floor.
"Of course they do. Because it makes sense in their own minds." Tseng shivered, as the cold air blasted on.
"I think they intend to freeze me." He said. Cloud looked sharply at him.
"It's that cold?" He asked. Tseng nodded his head.
"Must be nice, being a SOLDIER, you don't feel the cold." Tseng shivered, "I, on the other hand, feel it quite strongly." Cloud hesitantly put his arm around Tseng's shoulders.
"I can share my body heat." He offered. Tseng curled closer to him.
"Thank you, I will have to do something about those two when we get out." Tseng muttered, as he pulled his PHS out.
"Ryu blocked all signal from this room." He swore, as he shoved his PHS back into his pocket.
"She can do that?" Cloud asked. Tseng nodded his head.
"I gave her the tech to do it." He said.
"And you don't have the same tech?" Cloud asked, surprised. Tseng shook his head.
"Even if I did, the tech evolves with use. Hers has developed very quickly, into a superior tech that we've never seen before."
"That doesn't sound good for us." Cloud said. Tseng shook his head.
"It's not. We won't get out until they let us out."
"How will they know we've done what they want us to do?" Cloud asked. Tseng sighed.
"Her tech will tell her, I am sure." Tseng said as he shivered. Cloud straightened his legs and gently picked him up and placed him on his lap, and wrapped his arms around him. Tseng shifted uncomfortably.
"Sorry, but if you sit on the cold floor..." Cloud said.
"I know." Tseng agreed sighing.
"Well, Tseng is sitting on Cloud."Ryu said, as she and Alanna sat in the hall outside the archives eating more chocolate. Alanna grinned.
"Any bets on how long this will take?" She asked.
"I have no clue, depends on the both of them, I suppose."
"And how creative they get." Alanna said around a mouthful of chocolate. Ryu nudged her.
"Don't talk with your mouth full, it's rude."
"Rude is not a mouthful of food, Ryu, that's gross." She giggled. Ryu laughed.
"This coming from the girl who thought this was a good idea." Alanna grinned and nodded.
"Now Gen, he's food." Alanna said, and then laughed. Ryu pretend to gag.
"Not my kind of food." She disagreed. Alanna poked her.
"We know who you like to eat." She said. Ryu grinned.
"Maybe I do." She agreed. She giggled and poked Alanna back.
"'We want manflesh.'" She quoted. Alanna smiled.
"That does put a new spin on the orcs, now doesn't it?" She agreed. Ryu smiled.
"And now we know why the humans keep running away from them."
"Poor Merry and Pippen, they almost got eaten." Alanna shuddered in mock horror.
"Blach."Ryu pretended to gag.
"What are you two doing, yo?" Reno asked. Ryu grinned at him.
"Nothing Niisan." She said sweetly.
"What did you do to Tseng?" he asked.
"We haven't done anything to him, now as to what he and Cloud may be doing at the minute... Well that depends on how creative they get. It is rather cold in that room...I don't think much will be coming off."Alanna agreed. Reno made a face.
"Oh dear." he muttered, "I didn't want to know that, yo."
"Oh, we already know you'll sleep with anyone, so long as they're female." Ryu said. Reno stared at her surprised.
"And you know this how?" He asked. Alanna and Ryu traded looks and stood. The each struck a pose pretending to be holding microphones.
"Boy don't try to fight-t-t, I know just, just, what you are, are. Boy don't try to fight-t-t, I know just, just, what you are, are, womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer baby." They sang gleefully, pointing at him. Reno blushed and crossed his arms.
"I am not." He said defensively. Ryu raised an eyebrow.
"No?"She said archly, "What about Elena, Cissinei, that girl from district 9 last week, and the one from district 4 the week before?" She asked, ticking them off on her fingers.
"Oh fine, have it your way, yo." he sighed. Ryu grinned and patted his arm.
"Don't worry niisan, I don't hold it against you." She told him. Reno rolled his eyes.
"Any chance of you letting the Director go?" He asked. Ryu cocked her head to the side. She wrinkled her nose and shook her head.
"He might kill you if you interrupt." She said.
"Oh? They already got that far?" Alanna said, surprised. Ryu shook her head.
"No, but he's giving Cloud problems." She said.
"Boring." Alanna muttered. Ryu lightly punched her.
"These things take time." She reminded her. Alanna sighed.
"I know, I know." Reno shook his head.
"When you let him out, tell him the thief confessed." He asked. Ryu nodded.
"Will do." She agreed. Reno sighed and continued shaking his head as he walked away. Alanna and Ryu sat back down.
"We might need more chocolate." Alanna noted. Ryu grinned.
"We won't be able to eat much more. Our sweet tooths have become smaller, for some strange reason." She said. Alanna sighed.
"Yeah, and our cheesy, salty teeth have become larger." Alanna said. Ryu poked her.
"That's the truth, such annoying teeth." She agreed.
"Have you two seen Cloud?" Sephiroth asked, suddenly appearing in the hallway. "Someone saw him heading down here." He added. They both grinned.
"Well, you won't be getting him. It's his day off anyways." Ryu said. Seph sighed.
"I know, but he was in uniform, he's been very absentminded lately."
"He's been distracted." Ryu cocked her head to the side again.
"Well, he's shirtless now so..."
"Oh now things are getting interesting." Alanna said. Seph stared at them wide-eyed.
"What did you do to him?" He asked slightly alarmed.
"Nothing, we haven't touched him in the past hour." Ryu said, wide eyed.
"Where is he?"
"In a closet with Tseng." Alanna said. Both of them fought to not grin at the confused look on Seph's face.
"Don't get your hopes up 'Lanna. Tseng is wearing his shirt as an added layer."
"Boring."
"Well it seems that Tseng is trying to not get handsy..."
"And you know this how?" Seph asked. Ryu grinned.
"Every room in the Turk's office has a camera, motion detector, heat sensor, and voice recorder. And as a Turk, I am hacked into every single one of them." Ryu said.
"Okay, that's scary." Alanna admitted.
"But how can you tell? You don't have anything in your hands." Seph asked. Ryu grinned smugly.
"Turk secret, yo."
"And why are they in the closet to begin with?"
"Okay, we did put them in there." Alanna admitted.
"And poor Tseng is freezing. We'll have to let them out soon." Ryu said.
"Why did you put them in there?" Seph asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"To fix Cloud's distraction problem." Alanna said, and then paused. "Wait, it's not going to. He's still going to be distracted, but differently." She corrected. Ryu nodded her head.
"But, it will fix the awkwardness problem."
Seph sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He desperately wanted an energy drink.
"I thought no one knew about how he felt." He said. Ryu snorted.
"I'm a Turk, I am trained to observe. So of course I noticed."
"And told me." Alanna added.
"You are my cohort in crime." Ryu added. Seph sighed.
"All right, well I hope you know what you're doing." He said.
"We have some idea of what we are doing, yes." Ryu agreed.
"We've done this before." Alanna added.
"Well we haven't locked anyone in the closet before... but still." Ryu said. Seph sighed.
"Just don't freeze Tseng to death." He said, before he walked away.
"We won't!" Alanna yelled after him.
"This is ridiculous." Tseng muttered. Cloud appeared to be perfectly fine, while he was shivering to pieces.
"What is?" Cloud asked quietly.
"I have some Mako, I shouldn't be so effected by the cold." Cloud shrugged.
"The immunity to the cold didn't seem to really affect me until I became a 1st." Cloud said.
"You didn't have to give me your shirt." Tseng said. Cloud shrugged again.
"The cold doesn't harm me; I'm fine, you're not." Tseng shivered again.
"Can you stop shivering?" Cloud muttered.
"Why?" Tseng asked.
"It makes things, very, uncomfortable."
"Huh...oh" Tseng said, his blush matching Cloud's. He wondered how he might have missed the obvious truth.
"So, this is what they want us to talk about?" he asked. Cloud nodded his head, his blush heading toward flaming red.
"I see." Tseng said. He wasn't sure if he wanted to beat Alanna and Ryu, or thank them for cluing him in.
Ryu stood. Alanna looked up at her.
"Aw, did Tseng's body temp drop?" She asked, disappointed. Ryu shook her head.
"No, but we should let them out."
"Poop, our plan didn't work." Alanna said, disappointed.
"Oh it did." Ryu said. Alanna smiled gleefully.
"So that's why we're letting them out."
"Yes, that's why." Ryu agreed, as she made her way to the door.
"We might want to stand to the side, in case Tseng is mad." She added. She threw the lock and backed away, gesturing for Alanna to do the same. The two of them backed up until they were on the other side of the room.
Cloud came out first. Other than his hair being rumpled, he looked fine. He saw them and flushed. Tseng appeared behind him.
"Um Director... you seem to have become rather untidy." Ryu said tactfully. Tseng's clothes were very rumpled, his usually tidy and clean appearance not present. He flushed slightly.
"Not another word, you two." He said softly.
"Not even to suggest Cloud grabs a bag and goes to your apartment tonight, or that you should maybe take the day off? Reno got the thief to confess, so there's nothing pertinent to handle. We wouldn't have locked you in there otherwise." Alanna asked. He sighed.
"Your suggestions are noted, and I would strongly advise the both of you to make yourselves scarce for the rest of the day." He said. Ryu nodded, as Alanna covered her eyes.
"Does this count Director? I can't see you so you can't see me." She said, laughing. Ryu rolled her eyes and grabbed the back of Alanna's shirt.
"No it doesn't, now let's go before he decides to flatten you for ruining his good mood." She said.
"See you tomorrow Cloud."
"You'll thank us eventually, Tseng!" Alanna called, as the two left the room.
"It only took them a couple of hours." Ryu muttered.
"Considering the age gap, that's pretty good." Alanna noted.
"Well, hopefully Tseng won't want to kill us later." Ryu said.
Ryu's PHS went off, a text message from Matti showed on the screen. 'If you do not make Mary stop, I will shoot her in the head. Somehow I feel like it is your fault. So make it stop already!' Matti sounded very angry. Ryu wondered how long Mary could get away with annoying the Turk before she got hurt.
'Mary, you can stop now. The deed is done.' Ryu sent in a text, while she and Alanna made their way to the elevator.
Mary paused and checked her phone when it off. She grinned but also looked disappointed.
"Oh, looks like I don't need to distract you anymore. See you later Bossman!" Mary exclaimed turning on her heel and skipping away.
"Oh thank Gaia that is over." Matti mumbled, as he went back towards Tseng's office. Though now he was mildly curious as to what was going on. Usually a hyper Mary was hard to control, and it seemed like she was there under orders. He paused when he walked into Tseng's office and saw the Turk wasn't there. He turned slowly looking around, it wasn't unlike Tseng to set a trap to test him but there was nothing out of the ordinary. With a shrug deciding maybe he'd gone to get coffee, he sat back down at his little desk.
Cloud looked up at Tseng. They hadn't gotten much of chance to talk in the closet once Tseng had figured out his secret. They had, just not about relationships.
"Um..." Tseng looked down at him and smiled.
"I don't see why we can't follow their suggestions. I don't think I would get much work done anyways. And I would like to spend some time with you." Cloud smiled shyly.
"I should go get a bag." Tseng nodded his head. He reached out and gently rubbed his thumb over Cloud's cheekbone.
"I'll meet you in the parking garage." he said. Cloud nodded his head.
Angeal looked up as Cloud came into the apartment, and headed to his room.
"You're not on duty, why are you in uniform?" He called after Cloud.
"I won't be for much longer." Cloud yelled, "And it doesn't matter now." He added. After a few moments, he came back out dressed in jeans and a nice button up blue shirt, a bag thrown over his shoulder. His keys for Fenrir dangled from his fingers.
"Where are you going?" Angeal asked. Cloud shrugged, his face flushing.
"Out. I'll be back in the morning." He said. Angeal frowned, and opened his mouth to lecture him. Ryu popped up in front of him and thrust a chocolate in his mouth and forced him to chew it. Cloud made his retreat as she distracted him.
"Have fun Cloud." She called. Angeal finished chewing and swallowed.
"What was that for?" He asked her indignantly.
"Cloud's allowed to have a life when he's not on duty, and it's not our business to know what it is. He doesn't need to be hovered over all the time." Alanna said, as she came up next to Ryu and handed her another chocolate. Ryu took it and nibbled on it.
"He's been acting strange for a while now." Angeal said, worried. Alanna and Ryu traded looks.
"He's seeing somebody." Ryu said. Angeal raised an eyebrow.
"Someone in Shinra? They might be using him." He said, worried. Ryu shook her head.
"This person would never do that, they care too much for Cloud to let that happen." She assured him. Genesis entered from the hall where he had been listening.
"Then why haven't we met her yet?" He asked. Alanna sighed.
"Because he doesn't know how you'll react when he tells you who they are." She told him. Genesis nodded his head. Angeal shook his head.
"I just hope he'll be all right." He muttered. Alanna and Ryu nodded their heads.
"He's fine." They said again. Alanna turned to walk down the hallway. As she walked by Gen, he spun on his heel and caught her, wrapping his arms around her, pinning her arms over her chest and holding her close.
"Gen!" She squeaked in surprise. He bent his head over her shoulder and stole the chocolate in her hand.
"You thief! My chocolate!" She sputtered as Ryu collapsed to the floor, in a fit of helpless laughter.
"You weren't going to share, how mean of you." He said in her ear. Alanna drove her elbow back into his side.
"Gen..." Angeal said warningly. Gen looked at Angeal over his shoulder, and raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not hurting her." He protested.
"Genesis Rhapsodos!" Alanna protested, when he bent slightly, turned her and tossed her over his shoulder, his hand firmly on her butt. She pounded on his chest, since he'd managed to turn her so her so she faced forward.
"Our training room isn't busy; I think Alanna needs to practice her footwork." He said, as he walked out of the apartment.
"Ryu! My chocolate!" Alanna called, before the door closed.
Ryu slowly climbed to her feet, tears of laughter streaming down her face. Angeal eyed her.
"You did nothing to help her." He said. Ryu shook her head.
"Against Genesis there isn't anything I could do. He's feeling playful today, and if he wants to play with Alanna, I can't stop him."
"Besides, she's hyped up on energy drinks and chocolate, she may very well run circles around him today, or try his patience sorely." Angeal eyed her.
"You mean that." He noted Ryu nodded her head.
"Of course I do." She paused and yawned, "But not even energy drinks and chocolate can keep me awake for more than eighteen hours. It's time for me to go to bed." She said, as she headed to her room.
"G'Night 'Geal."She called.
"Sleep well Ryu." Angeal said.
Alanna and Genesis were in the elevator on their way to the training room, with Alanna still draped over Gen's shoulder. The door opened and Mary got in.
"Enjoying the view?" She asked playfully.
"Shut up, he won't put me down." Alanna mumbled her face bright red.
"Did you try tickling him?" Mary asked, with an evil smile.
" Don't you dare!" Genesis warned looking nervous. A matching evil smile appeared on Alanna's face.
"Oooo, I think he is." Mary chimed. Alanna proceeded to start tickling Gen's sides, and both of them ended up in a heap on the floor as his legs refused to hold him up as he laughed uncontrollably. The elevator opened, and Mary walked out. "Looks like my work here is done. Bye bye." She said, as she walked down the hallway to the apartment.
"You are really going to pay for that." Genesis mumbled from under Alanna, as the elevator doors closed.
Angeal had just opened a new book, somewhat glad that it appeared as though the distractions that typically surrounded him had found their own distractions, when the apartment door opened.
"ANGEAL!" He heard, while he barely had time to process the blur of Mary flying towards him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and shoulders from behind the couch. "I had hyper, I'm chocolate! Wait… that was… oh you know what I meant." She said quickly before jumping over the couch to sit beside him. "Whatcha reading?" She asked, in a very childish tone.
"A book. One that I'm sure you would find boring." Angeal replied, looking over at her with a raised eyebrow. Mary was not the biggest fan of books, and he had found that she found his books particularly boring. She was acting very strange, more like a child than he had ever seen. Now he understood why she typically avoided sugar.
" Probably." She said, as she tried to stifle a yawn. She shook her head, and proceeded to start to lay down.
Before Angeal could stop her, Mary had managed to lay down with her head on his lap, and curled her body around the couch.
"Umm… Mary…" Angeal pleaded.
"Shhh… you're a comfy pillow." She said, yawning heavily, and within a few seconds she was passed out, while still on his lap.
Angeal sat there for a few minutes, trying to figure out what to do. Any time he tried to move, she just adjusted and set her head farther into his lap. It happened so fast, she was hyper one second and asleep another. He was aware that her face was burning, and felt like she had a fever. Typically, even with the mako, she produced very little body heat when they weren't training. After a few more minutes of trying to wriggle free and failing, he decided to try and continue reading his book.
Angeal had managed to get a few chapters into his book before things got even more uncomfortable. Mary had shifted her body, and her head, and was now facing towards his crouch, and snoring lightly. It took him a few minutes to adjust before he could go back to reading, but it was very distracting and hard for him to do. When he heard the door open again, he was hopeful that he would be helped out of his situation.
Instead, Zack and Piper walked through the door, spotted Mary, and decided that a nap was a good idea. Piper immediately walked over, and curled up over the top of Mary. This caused Mary to grumble something and move farther into Angeal's lap. Angeal tried to ask Zack for help, but he only got a mumble for an answer and Zack curled up behind him on the back of the couch. He sat a few more minutes before conceding again and returning to his book.
Half an hour later, Matti returned to the apartment. He saw Piper curled up on Mary, and saw that she was on Angeal, and Zack was behind them on the couch. Remembering the activities from earlier in the day, he decided to leave them alone. He was going to take advantage of Mary being asleep.
Angeal looked over to Matti, practically begging with his eyes for help.
"No way. I dealt with that for too long already. Not going there again. You are on your own dude." He said, as he walked to the kitchen to get some food.
When Matti returned from the kitchen, he chuckled a bit, and then walked away. Once Matti left the room, the door opened again. Genesis and Alanna had returned from their training session, and they seemed exhausted. Alanna walked over and plopped down on the couch, looked up, and started laughing.
"Enjoying the logging camp over there?" She asked Angeal, who turned bright red.
As though she had heard the comment, Mary started to stir awake. "I don't snore." She protested, reaching down and poking Piper to wake up. "Get off me Puppy." She said.
"Oh, I think your pillow would disagree." Alanna replied, noticing how red and uncomfortable Angeal seemed to be.
Once Mary had gotten Piper to start waking up, she sat up, and Angeal took his chance to get away. He quickly walked back to his bedroom to retire for the night.
"Goodnight Angeal. Sweet dreams." Alanna said, amused at the way Angeal fled the scene. Alanna looked over at Mary. "Did you have a good nap, sleeping beauty?" She asked.
"Yup, he makes a good pillow." Mary replied. "But I think it's time for a real bed. I don't feel so good." She said, getting off the couch and making her way to her room.
"Well, duh. That's what happens when you eat sugar. Don't you know this already?" Alanna said. Mary just turned and glared at her. "Goodnight Mary." She said. Mary waved her hand and continued to her room, far too tired to attempt to reply.
"He grabbed my butt!" Alanna protested, lounging on the couch a few days later. Piper had missed most of that day's antics, and had made the mistake of asking about them.
"You grabbed his first." Mary pointed out, as she threw a ball into the air and caught it. The four girls were in their lounge having a boy-free night.
"Yeah but..."
"Admit it, you liked it." Ryu commented from where she lay on the floor, her goggles laying front of her as she idly flipped through a book.
"Okay maybe...but still!"
"Must mean he likes you." Piper said, looking up from her crocheting briefly.
"Or he's paying me back for the VR room." Alanna groaned, burying her face in a pillow.
"Well, the way he was cuddling you in his arms earlier seemed to indicate he likes you." Ryu said, she looked up impishly. "I mean, you should have been able to tell if he liked you. He was pretty close…"
"Oh, shut up Ryu! You were no help either, you damn Turk. You were rolling on the floor laughing!" Alanna said, flinging the pillow at Ryu. Ryu caught it between her legs and dropped it on the floor.
"What was I supposed to do?" She asked.
"Something, anything! You could have gotten me more chocolate at the very least!" Alanna protested, before adding dejectedly, "He ate all mine."
"There was nothing I could do, and it looked like he really enjoyed those chocolates, by the way he shoved them into his mouth." Ryu replied.
"You're a Turk, couldn't you have thought of something?"
"A Turk who crashed two minutes after you were hauled away. I was running on fumes by then, Alanna."
"I just hope he doesn't make a fuss on his birthday." Alanna sighed.
"Is his birthday coming up?" Mary asked. Alanna nodded her head.
"Next week." She said glumly. Ryu groaned.
"He's already fussing." She said. Alanna looked at her.
"About what?" She asked. Ryu shook her head.
"Dessert. He's bugging poor 'Geal about it already."Ryu told her. Alanna groaned.
"What is he planning?" She asked. Ryu shrugged.
"I don't know, but Tseng was working diligently on the schedule, so we'd all be off that day."
"You really do know most of what goes on don't you?" Mary asked, disgusted. Ryu shrugged.
"To Turks, knowledge means living."
"So, all knowing Turk, any idea what he's planning?" Piper teased.
"Smart assery does not become you, Piper, like it does Alanna and me."Ryu said, frowning. Alanna smirked. Ryu reached up and rubbed the microphone earring on her left ear.
"Alanna and I, dear Ryu. You must learn these things properly."
"Why do you always wear that earpiece?" Mary asked with a shudder, trying to ignore Alanna's condescending remark. "It's so gaudy."
"I'd rather be alive and gaudy, than dead and fashionable." Ryu retorted, throwing the pillow at Mary.
"This gaudy earpiece keeps me alive." She continued.
"How can it? It's just an earpiece." Mary said. Ryu smiled mysteriously. She cocked her head to the side.
"Latest intel says Gen wants to go to a popular night club with the 1st, us, Reno, Rude, Vincent, Chloe and Tseng." She reported.
"You know it's very creepy when you do that, right?" Alanna said. Ryu smiled
"Don't worry, it's as simple as reprogramming any microphone that picks up Gen's voice to run through a filter, and report any mention of his birthday." She said lightly.
"When did you become a computer programmer, let alone a hacker?" Mary asked, rather concerned.
"She's never had to. Computers have always been Morgan's hobby." Alanna said, groaning.
"Guess again." Ryu said, smiling mischievously.
"How?" Piper asked.
"Would you believe me if I told you I used magic?"Ryu asked.
"No." Alanna said.
"And you'd be right."
"Then how?" Alanna asked smiling.
"A.I."
"A.I.?" Mary asked, confused.
"Mhpm."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Mary snapped, as Alanna giggled. Ryu casually twirled her goggles around one finger.
"I don't really know. I hit my head pretty hard recently." Ryu said, her lips twitching suspiciously.
"Do you remember the mission?" Alanna asked her.
"To ensure the survival of all 1st?" Ryu asked giggling as Piper laughed.
"Close enough." Alanna said.
"ARG! Enough with the adapted movie, show, and game quotes you two!" Mary snapped, realizing what Alanna and Ryu were up to. They both laughed.
"Sorry, I couldn't help it." Ryu said.
"Seriously, how?"Mary asked.
"One could roundaboutly blame Reno, I suppose…" Ryu said.
"I knew you two were trouble." Alanna's PHS beeped, she pulled it out and looked at it.
'I wasn't lying about the A.I., don't let Tseng or the others know you know'—It read. Alanna glanced at Ryu confused. Ryu's goggles were cupped under her hand on the floor facing her. A neon green smiley face - ^.^ - flashed across the lens for a split second. Alanna blinked, surprised.
'Did I really just see that?'—She texted back to Ryu.
'Of course you did, Dumbapples.'—Came back. Ryu hadn't even looked at her PHS let alone type anything, yet there it was from her number.
'The earpiece… it talks to you?'—She sent back, full of questions. Ryu slipped her goggles over head and hung them around her neck.
'She can read some of my brainwaves and my biorhythms, but yes she talks to me too.'
"Alanna, stop texting Gen, this is girls night." Mary said. Alanna shoved her PHS back into her pocket, and sent Ryu a look, promising a long talk later. Ryu gave her a bland expression back.
"Since it is girls night, maybe we should talk about you teasing Angeal?" Alanna replied to Mary, not appreciating her assumption that she was texting Genesis.
"It's not really teasing… at least it wouldn't be if he wasn't so caught up on his 'Honor'." Mary replied.
"Well at least we know for sure that he likes you." Alanna said, giggling. "Did you see the way he walked away, it was hilarious!" She said, now starting to laugh harder.
"No, I didn't see it. Piper wouldn't get off of me." She said, glaring at Piper.
"What? You were so comfy." Piper retorted.
"I really don't think you are in a place to complain about people laying on you Mary." Alanna said.
"Yeah, true…" Mary said, starting to blush, as she went back to her crocheting. Hopefully if she stopped talking they would drop it, although that hardly ever actually worked.
"So how up close and personal did you get with the tube sock? I'm kinda sorry I missed all this." Ryu added grinning. Mary scowled at her.
"I didn't get up close and personal." Mary told her refusing to look up.
"Uh-huh." Ryu said grinning, with a look on her face that said she knew something.
"You always forget the cameras, Reno and I laughed ourselves silly over it." Ryu told her. Mary looked horrified. Piper snickered as Alanna giggled evilly.
"You know he was kinda walking like Azul." Alanna told Ryu. Ryu nodded her head laughing.
"Yeah he did." Ryu acknowledged.
"Who?" Piper asked.
"Big, muscly guy, that looks kinda like that teacher I hated back at school? Yeah give him long blue hair, glowing tattoos, and pointy ears." Alanna began.
"And instead of his head up his ass, shove Masamune up his ass and you've about got it." Ryu added grinning.
"I was going to say that." Alanna told her. Ryu grinned wrinkling her nose at her. Alanna threw the other throw pillow at her.
"Haha beat you to it" Ryu told her.
"Ow." Piper and Mary said together.
Morgan looked down at his drink and tried to ignore the unease that shivered up his spine. They were sitting at the bar with their backs to the crowd and all it would take was one disgruntled patron to start a bar fight. That was really the last thing they needed right now. Reno jostled against him pouring more beer from the pitcher into his glass. Morgan gave him a slightly disgruntled look. Reno grinned.
"Just because Ryu kicked you out doesn't mean you have to look so glum."He told him. Morgan rolled his eyes as Rude sitting on his other side sighed into his glass.
"Oh you are all so boring." Reno complained. Matti leaned forward on the bar and looked at Morgan, they both traded an annoyed glance.
"Oh so did you know the girls are even more psychotic then me?" Reno asked. Morgan nodded his head as Matti sighed.
"You have no idea. Mary chased me around the Turk offices for three hours today." Matti told him. Reno smirked.
"That's the least of what they did from what I understand." Matti smirked.
"Yeah Mary took a nap on Angeal and made him really uncomfortable." Matti added.
"That's still not it." Morgan told him. Matti's eyes widened.
"What did they do?" He asked worried.
"They locked Tseng and Cloud up in a closet." Rude said.
"They did what?" Matti asked his facing going white.
"It was pretty cold for Tseng." Morgan added.
"How do you know this but I don't?" Matti asked.
"Ryu was quite proud of it she told me about it."
"Please tell me you lectured her."
"For all the good it did me." Morgan told him. Matti sighed and rested his forehead in his palm.
"It's not so bad, yo. They've liked each other for a long time, Ryu and Alanna just sped things up." Reno told him. Matti winced slightly.
"Although to be honest the whole thing with Mary is far more interesting, yo." Reno told him digging in his pockets and pulling out a camcorder.
"You pulled the footage from security?" Matti asked startled. Reno smirked.
"Dude it was too good to pass up, I have so much black mail now." Reno told him. Morgan took the camcorder from Reno and hit play.
"This I do want to see." He commented. Rude leaned over his shoulder to see.
Ryu looked up as Alanna entered her room. Morgan was still out with Matti, Reno and Rude.
"So, how badly wasted do you think he'll be when he comes back?" She asked. Ryu smiled.
"Him? Barely even intoxicated. You know him."Ryu said, as she shut down the document on her computer.
"Yeah, Mr. Don't drink Ryu. He'll barely have had one the whole night. So about this A.I…." Alanna started. Ryu grinned and swiveled around in her chair. She held her goggles cupped in the palm of her hands.
"Meet my A.I. goggles, they're highly advanced. More so even than niisan's, and his have an attitude problem." Ryu said proudly.
"Hello Alanna Crystalline. Turk, current body guard of one 1st class SOLDEIR, Genesis Rhapsodos. Known aliases are Alan 2nd class SOLDIER, protégé of Commander Rhapsodos. Skilled in Materia and duel rune blades." Alanna heard through the computer speakers.
"I should have told you to bring your earpiece, otherwise she has to use nearby sound systems to really make herself heard." Ryu said. Alanna stared at the goggles.
"How much does she know?" She asked.
"I know many things, Alanna. I know anything I deem is pertinent for keeping Ryuko alive."
"Then that must be a lot." Alanna said.
"Hey!" Ryu protested. The letters LOL appeared on the lens.
"She has a sense of humor?" Alanna asked surprised.
"I have a well rounded personality program. Not only do I have a sense of humor, but I understand and can display a wide range of emotions."
"Like?"Alanna asked, intrigued.
"Like happiness, joy, excitement, even anger, hurt and loss, as well as curiosity."
"So, if I'm not supposed to know about her, then why tell me?" Alanna asked. Ryu licked her lips.
"Power down for ten minutes." She ordered.
"Oh, that secret thing I can't know about, I was wondering why you were telling her." The goggles said, before powering down.
"Because we're going to need her for our mission here, and if something happens to me you can work with her in the field. And maybe if you stop questioning how I know or do things, the others will drop it as well." Ryu said. Alanna nodded her head.
"That's reasonable." She said.
"I can be on occasion." Ryu replied, peeved. The bedroom door slammed open as Morgan wandered in.
"Oh, looks like he's buzzed…" Alanna said. Ryu nodded her head.
"I wonder if Reno had him doing shots." She wondered.
"You can stop talkin' like I am not in the room." Morgan grumbled.
"I guess that's my exit cue." Alanna said. Ryu nodded her head before she stood to help Morgan, who was getting into a fight with his jacket and losing.
"What did he have you drink?" She wondered.
"I don't think those were normal shots." He said. Ryu smiled.
"Knowing niisan, probably not. How's Matti?"
"About the same level as drunk of I am." He said.
"So mildly to moderately buzzed, I am guessing." He nodded his head.
"This is going to suck in the morning." He said.
"Not as much as it could here, take this." She said, handing him a pill.
"You shouldn't need it, but just in case."
"I am never going drinking with your brother again, Ryu." Morgan said, after he swallowed the pill and flopped onto the bed.
"And to think, he's younger than you by three years, and he probably wasn't even tipsy." She said , sitting on the edge of the bed. He groaned.
"Don't remind me. Tseng probably had him drinking Sake with him from a young age." He complained.
"It's possible, I suppose." She smiled and pulled the covers up over him.
"Go to sleep." She told him.
"No arguments there." He muttered, before he closed his eyes. Ryu stood and shook her head.
'What did you make him drink'? She sent to Reno.
'Shots! Shots all the way baby! Was his response.' Ryu shook her head.
'You're still at the bar aren't you? Found your girl for the night yet?' She asked.
'Not yet, no, still looking though! If I can't find one I am sure Elena is available.' He replied.
'Womanizer.' She said, before she plugged her PHS in for the night and prepared for bed. She set her goggles on their charging station.
"Goodnight, Ryuko."
"Ryu... how many times have I told you that?" She asked, as she crawled under the covers.
"At least once more, Miss." Ryu groaned.
"I deserved that for doing it to Mary earlier, but how do you know that movie?"
"You're devices from home were riddled with various references, and since I downloaded all their data…" Ryu groaned.
"I get it, goodnight."
A/N: So, there you go. It's been a while since I have gotten more than one chapter up in a day… Hope you liked it. Maybe now the soldiers will know to avoid sugar around the girls. Then again, maybe not :D