Chapter Twenty One:

Stiles hadn't talked to him the entire ride, and honestly- Derek hadn't expected him to. He'd tried, he really had. But when Stiles was determined…well.

He'd tried explaining first- didn't even get two words In before he was turned down. Tried apologising- same story. He'd even tried the whole 'please, listen to me and you'll see this was just a whole big misunderstanding' thing, but Stiles had just glared at him and pointedly told him that it didn't matter, Derek wasn't his friend- they only hung out for survival purposes. It didn't matter to him. But…Derek could tell it obviously did. He could tell, he had noticed since the day they talked about books together…that Stiles wanted to be his friend.

While Derek wanted to be way more than just friends, even the notion that Stiles actually enjoyed his company gave him joy and he would be totally just okay with the whole 'unrequited love' shtick, as long as they kept having conversations like the one they'd had that day.

The, of course, he had to go and ruin it all.

Derek had come to terms with one simple fact in his life; Derek Hale ruins everything. It was a proven theory- Derek would even make charts, but it wasn't like you needed much evidence. You just had to look at the way his 'teen romance' had turned out.

So he sat. He sat quietly and patiently, just driving and not bothering to convince Stiles of anything, just letting the boy think. Then, came the problem of the obvious fact that what the boy was thinking, was something bad- if his heart rate was anything to go by.

Derek ignored it though, even if he didn't want too, even if it went against all his instincts, his better judgement told him that Stiles would find no comfort with him. And just that thought made his throat dry and his heart clench.

But, after a while, he noticed a smell…a salty, tangy smell- one he'd always associated with sadness (or sometimes intense happiness)…tears. Stiles was crying.

Why was Stiles crying?

"Why are you crying?" Derek asked dumbly, sparing a glance at the boy, but turning back to keep his eyes on the road.

Wow, way to be insensitive Hale.

"Don't want to talk about it." He heard Stiles mutter, and out of the corner of his eye, saw Stiles wipe his face and try to compose himself. Derek thought there must be something wrong with him that he thought the sight was cute.

"Stiles. I know you're mad at me right now- and that you think I don't like you- which is utter bullshit- even if I said so myself" Derek cut Stiles off before he could say anything, because Derek could totally see that the boy was about to protest, "So tell me what's wrong right now- because at the moment I'm thinking it's me, and I don't want to have been the one to make you cry." Derek didn't really care that he was showing his true feelings to Stiles- he'd do anything to make the boy feel better.

"I-it's not you. I'm still not buying the whole you liking me shit- but I wasn't crying 'cause of you." Stiles whispered- still turned towards the window and facing away from Derek. Derek felt relieved that he wasn't the cause, but something was, and that notion immediately washed away his relief and brought on worry.

"What- What were you thinking about?" Derek questioned, somewhat awkwardly.

"I was just upset, you know, because I found out that Mrs. Apples- the shop down the main street? The old lady who owns that isn't actually named Joanne Appleby- she just says it is. Like, who does that kinda shit? My whole life is a lie." Stiles, while he did seem to be mildly disturbed about not-Joanne Appleby, was obviously lying about the fact that this particular issue was what made him cry.

"Stiles." Derek sighed and could hear the boy release his own sigh back.

"Fine- I was just…you know, memories." Stiles said it so quietly that, if Derek didn't have what Stiles called 'The Wolfy ears of power™', he wouldn't have heard him.

"Memories?" Derek asked, but he already had a pretty good idea what Stiles was talking about.

"Yeah. My dad, after my mum, he… He can't afford to lose me too you know?" Stiles' voice was breaking with the effort to keep speaking.

"He- he won't be able to handle it- It would be the same if I lost him. We don't have anyone else, no cousins, no grandparents, uncles, aunts- nothing, not even on mum's side. The only family we really have, besides each other, is Scott and Melissa. Still, I think- if I died, he wouldn't cope. No-matter how hard they'd try to help him, he'd break. just like he did after mum, and I just can't stop thinking that this time, this time no-one would be able to put him back together again. That, once I die, he dies with me. And it's truly scaring the shit outta me right now."

What could he say to that? How could he tell Stiles, tell him that he was sorry? Just so sorry.

"I-that's why I can't let her kill me. That's why I'm not gonna die- not for a long time anyway. That bitch is nothing compared to the freaking kanima anyway!"

"I won't let you die either Stiles. None of us will." Derek stated softly as he reached the Veterinarian car park.

"Yeah. Yeah I know." Stiles muttered, a small smile on his face- not quite reaching his eyes.