Victor woke in the room on the bed he thinks he fell asleep on with memories clashing with one another. Yuri's alive, glaring at him because Victor was an idiot. Yuri was dead and the world had grown several degrees colder. Yuri was alive, yelling at him. Yuri was dead. Alive. Dead-
He sat upright, skin tingling with the cold he'd created. The walls, ceiling and most of the floors was covered in a jagged carpet of ice. It twinkled in the artificial lighting, and he was aware of what that meant for the room's temperature.
Anyone else would have frozen to death. The thought brought a smug sort of satisfaction to Victor. Then he thought of Yuuri and a frown touched the corners of his mouth.
Someone knocked on the glass.
"Victor? Are you hungry?" Yuuri's voice asked from the other side, like he'd been called by Victor's thoughts.
Victor's stomach growled as affirmation, but Victor still had nothing to say to him. He'd trusted him- put him in his home around the things he cared most about- and because of that Victor lost.
"Victor, please," Yuuri's soft voice pleaded, the lost sound twisting something inside Victor's chest, "I need to tell you something. It's very important."
Victor didn't reply, though he did feel the ice on the glass keeping him imprisoned subside. He watched as the ice crawled in a circle, creeping until Yuuri's pale face was revealed. His dark eyes were wide and pleading, and if Victor hadn't lost that part of himself when Yuri fell then he was certain his heart would've shattered.
Yuuri didn't deserve to look like that. Victor thought some part of him still knew that, but the other part- the dark part- just felt numb and cold and dazed. Still Yuuri's face lit up at the sight of him.
"Victor," he said hopefully.
Victor rose to his feet, aware his face was probably as dark and emotionless as he felt. A dangerous thing but Yuuri showed no sign of distress at that.
"Victor, you need to listen to me," Yuuri continued either oblivious or stupid, "Whatever they tell you, don't agree. You can't-"
Victor reached the glass, placing his palm against the smooth surface. He could feel it crackle under his hand, the water shifting and freezing. Expanding and contracting, creating a long crack where Yuuri's throat reflected on the other side.
Yuuri blinked, taking a step back. A hand came to rest upon the pale flesh of his throat like Yuuri understood. Victor didn't bother waiting to see the shocked panic turn to frightened disgust or hatred.
He turned, ice growing back in the hole he'd created. Yuuri would notice, but that wouldn't matter. He'd no longer have to pretend to care.
"Victor, Yuri is alive."
{…}
Yuri woke with a gasp, temple pounding and skin crawling. It felt like ants had found themselves on his flesh: creeping and biting and itching.
Without thinking his hands were grappling at his skin as he lurched from the bed. The room spun, and his legs buckled, but that didn't matter because he needed to get these ants off of him. He reached out blindly, knocking over the nightstand and shattering the lamp against the far wall.
Someone probably heard that. They had to have heard that.
Yuri didn't bother waiting for a response from a separate room. He managed to gather his feet underneath him and bolted towards the door. He'd seen it. Victor was there, and then he wasn't. There were just ants- everywhere, all over his skin- and he needed to move.
The door swung open before his fingers touched it and hands reached out, groping and desperate and Yuri didn't want-
He couldn't-
He scrambled backwards, backpedaling on all fours. His eyes were open, but he couldn't see anything. Victor had been there- right there- and then Yuri had to go and screw everything up like he always did. He'd kicked Victor, because it was Victor and Victor hadn't looked like himself, and Victor tumbled backwards in the nothingness because of it.
"Yuri!" someone shouted.
That was real, he thinks. The voice but he was caught in a strange middle. The ants weren't. The room was. Victor probably wasn't. The voice was-
"Yuri!"
The voice screamed again and the hands found him and those were probably real as well.
He opened his mouth, a strange croaking sound escaping his lips. That may have been real, but the way the room was spinning probably wasn't. The ants couldn't be, but something inside his brain had fractured when Victor disappeared.
He'd been right there- blue eyes dark and cold and foreign- and Yuri had yearned to reach out and draw him to his chest. He hadn't. He'd hit him, and Victor had tumbled backwards without saying anything.
"Yura!"
Yuri blinked.
A hand- large and warm and callused from a lifetime of hardship- found the side of his face, and he felt his head clear somewhat. The room stopped spinning, and the ants died and all that was left was dark hair and dark eyes and tan skin.
"Beka?" Yuri heard himself ask, small and timid and frightened.
"It's me Yura," Otabek reassured- gentle and kind and caring- as his other hand found his other cheek; cupping Yuri's face in his hands so they could stare in each other's eyes.
"I-" Yuri started but his voice caught somewhere in his throat.
"It's okay," Otabek reassured, "You're okay. You're okay. I'm here. JJ and Isabella too. We're here for you."
Yuri blinked owlishly back. His head still throbbed and the ants had left a burning cold- like frostbite eating its way across his skin. He wanted to sink back into Otabek's warmth, fall and never get up again but Victor still needed him. Yuuri still needed him.
"Yuri-"
"Chris?" Yuri managed, "Phichit?"
Those names were important. His numb mind knew that much, and slowly the rest of him was catching up as well.
"Chris left after the first time you woke," Otabek explained as he dropped back to his ankles and stared at him with a confused furrow, "We haven't heard from Phichit. Yuri, who's Phichit?"
Yuri blinked once more. It was slowly returning to him.
Otabek has never met Phichit. He hadn't met Chris, either, until recently and Yuri had spent that time unconscious and dreaming of Victor.
"Phichit is Chris's roommate," Yuri murmured, fingers curling and grasping at the soft flesh of Otabek's arm.
Otabek nodded, dark eyes compassionate and as understanding as they were capable. He didn't press and Yuri vaguely recalled Otabek sitting on the edge of his bed as Yuri recalled what happened on the roof. For some reason he was grateful for that.
"We need to contact him," Yuri continued, thoughts choppy and he hated that so he just continued to blink as he tried clearing his thoughts and speak coherent sentences simultaneously, "Phichit. He could be in danger. Beka."
"Of course Yura," Otabek agreed, "Anything you need, but you broke the lamp. You need to calm down, we'll figure this out. Together, Yura. Look at me. Together. I promise."
Yuri nodded because words were failing him. Otabek swallowed, keeping his face a neutral mask- almost as if he was frightened of traumatizing Yuri further. Yuri appreciated the effort.
That time, Otabek nodded with him.
"Okay."
{…}
"I have a gift for you."
Yuuri looked up from his spot in his chair to find Celestino staring at him in his doorway. He'd been given a room after Victor's capture- one not meant for prisoners, but Yuuri felt trapped all the same. The only positive was that he had an excuse to stay near Victor, and Celestino had never found it necessary to interact with his pets.
"I couldn't," Yuuri started because that was usually the appropriate response with Celestino.
Celestino held out his hand as he cut him off, "I insist. Besides, I've already wrapped it up so nicely."
Yuuri swallowed, uneasy feeling growing inside his stomach. Celestino wasn't one to give things unless they somehow benefit himself. The look in his eyes certainly didn't help matters.
Celestino stepped back, gesturing towards the hallway as he commanded, "Come."
Yuuri rose to his feet, quick to obey. There was a cold in his stomach, icy and rotten and ill. He didn't know what was waiting for him out in the hallway, but his fear of the man before him was much greater than his hatred.
Victor hadn't been afraid. Victor had been angry- a storm on top that rooftop. Victor had pushed back, Victor had attacked Celestino, and Victor had almost won.
Victor was in front of him, only a thick pane of glass separating the two of them but his eyes were foreign and angry. Whatever Emil showed him triggered something inside his brain- the same thing he'd seen when Yuri fell from the roof. Whenever Yuuri closed his eyes he could still see the crack spreading across the glass, though sometimes it was skin and not crystal the crack stretched upon.
"I think you'll enjoy my gift," Celestino informed him as Yuuri followed close behind, "I must admit, I was apprehensive when I learned you moved in with two strangers. I thought you were growing soft, but then I learned Victor Nikiforov- your roommate- was none other than this self-proclaimed hero of St. Petersburg."
Yuuri swallowed thickly at the implication. He supposed he should have figured it out, but then Victor would look at him and it wasn't an expression of someone gazing upon a monster. At least, it hadn't been.
Celestino stopped in front of a door, turning to face him once more. He crossed his arms behind his back as he stared down at Yuuri from the darkness. For reasons Yuuri has yet to understand, Celestino liked to keep his hallways shadowed.
Yuuri stared back, feeling painfully small and vulnerable. Against his will, his mind flashed back to when he first met Celestino. He'd been so young, so frightened of a world that looked at users as nothing but monsters and he'd been frightened of himself.
But then Celestino came and his powers disappeared and for the first time he hadn't been afraid.
Celestino had reached out to him with a snake's smile as he promised, "You don't have to be afraid. I know what you can do and it is beautiful."
Yuuri should've run then. He should've said 'no' and he should've hid. He should've informed his parents, his sister, someone. He should've, but he didn't, and Celestino has punished him almost every day since.
"As an act of renewing our faith for one another, I've brought you this."
The door opened and Yuuri's breath caught in the back of his throat. His eyes flickered back and forth between the lump to Celestino's stoic expression. He didn't bother hiding his shock either- Celestino had been expecting it.
The lump twitched, moving so two dark orbs peered back at him from the darkness as it asked, "Yuuri?"
Yuuri took a step forward and Celestino didn't stop him so he took another. Then another and another until he was kneeling beside his friend's side.
Phichit's normally dark skin had taken an ashen pallor, his cheekbones sunken and dried up blood made his hair stick out on the side of his head. When his eyes locked onto Yuuri's face they were wild and feral and Yuuri was tired of seeing people he cared for look at him like that.
Yuuri spun to his feet, balling his hands at his side, as he snapped, "He has nothing to do with this, and you'd promised."
Celestino's lips twitched as he inquired with faux sweetness, "You don't enjoy my gift?"
"I do whatever you want, and you don't touch my family or Phichit," Yuuri said as his anger clouded his sense, "That was the deal!"
"The deal was you steal me the Moon Crystal, so I can move on from this wretched little place," Celestino said coolly, "and yet you've stalled. I was afraid your feelings blew you off course, so I got you something as a reminder."
His eyes flickered to Phichit's small form, and Yuuri shifted protectively between them. The movement made Celestino's lips twitch once more.
"I take this gift will help you remember your purpose, pet."
Yuuri swallowed, hands balled into tight fists as he nodded stiffly. It felt robotic and unnatural, but that was all that was left inside him at the moment. This wasn't a gift- this was a reminder to just how trapped they all were.
{…}
Yuri is alive.
Victor rolled over, the words bouncing around inside his head. He wasn't sure if he believed them or not. Yuuri had no reason to lie, but he'd done but lie to him since they met.
Yuri is alive.
Victor closed his eyes, clinging to the hope that the words inside his skull was true and not some fabricated lie as sleep claimed him.
{…}
Yuri was sitting in the bed, blanket tucked around his waist and hands folded on top of that. His back was pressed against the wall, and his eyes were open, but they were staring at nothing. They had been staring at nothing once he discovered Phichit was missing- presumed to have shared the same fate as Victor.
(And Yuuri) Yuri had protested before falling silent.
"Has he fallen ill?" JJ had asked but Isabella had shushed him, taking his hand in her own.
Otabek was grateful to see they had gotten over whatever came between them, though Otabek wasn't foolish enough to think it hadn't been Yuri who'd come between them. The same Yuri whose green eyes were blank and lifeless, sitting in one of Otabek's spare rooms.
Otabek took the spot next to Yuri on the bed. He couldn't blame him- not when Yuri has seen far more than any user or any child should. Younger than all of them and it had only been a matter of time before Yuri lived through too much. That Yuri had been pushed too far.
Otabek said nothing as he shifted so his own back was pressed against the wall and his shoulder was touching Yuri's. He said nothing, legs laid flat before him as he stared at the wall Yuri had taken to. It was mostly bare- only an empty vanity was pressed against it.
The vanity had once been his mother's, Otabek thinks, but he'd emptied it when she passed. It was one of the few things he'd brought from home.
Yuri's hand closed around Otabek's, though his eyes never shifted. Otabek glanced at him, frowning, but Yuri's expression never shifted and his eyes remained the same dull green but this time he noticed the underlying strength. A green flame burning just beneath the wall he'd put up.
Otabek shifted his head so it was facing palm up. He interlocked their fingers, and Yuri was quick to follow. It seemed Yuri was still with them after all.
The silence stretched between the two of them. Otabek didn't dare break the silence. Whatever was ailing Yuri, he'll tell Otabek in his own time. Otabek just wished he could make it better in the meantime- remembering the frantic look in Yuri's eyes.
"There's something inside my head," Yuri said suddenly, "and I don't know how it got there. Or even what it is."
Otabek squeezed the hand in his own. Yuri didn't jerk it free so Otabek counted it as a win.
Yuri barked out a harsh laugh as he continued wetly, "Victor is gone, and I'm worried about myself- what a joke."
"We'll figure this out," Otabek swore despite knowing he shouldn't make promises he couldn't keep, "All of it. Together."
Yuri released a heavy breath, and he wasn't crying but his eyes were wet. Otabek gave his hand another tight squeeze. Yuri's gaze focused back into that dead stare as he blankly stared at the wall.
"And I'm not letting anything happen to you," Otabek added turning to stare seriously at Yuri, "You're my friend and I won't-"
"Won't what?" Yuri demanded, eyes snapping in his direction.
"This person that's kidnapped Victor and frightened Yuuri into submission, whoever he is. The person that sent innocent users on our school and stolen Phichit from his apartment. The person that threw you off a building. I'm not letting him touch you. Not anymore," Otabek swore.
Yuri's face softened slightly at the confession.
"Just don't die yourself, idiot," he finally snapped, words void of any real fire.
Otabek's lips twitched upwards as he bent over to plant a soft kiss onto his forehead as he agreed, "Always."
{…}
If Yuri was alive then he was alone. Victor had been all he'd had- the only family for five years of his life. That meant if Yuri had somehow survived being thrown off the building then he was alone in St. Petersburg with a crazed maniac targeting it for whatever reason.
Victor suddenly wasn't sure if he wanted Yuri to have survived.
{…}
Victor returned in his dreams.
This time was slightly different. Everything was still black, darkness that could swallow someone whole but not Victor. Victor was like a beacon- shining at him like a light, calling him. Yuri ignored it, standing and watching.
Victor was on his side, stretched out like a cat seeking warmth from the sun. He had his hands folded under his head, pressed against his cheek and his eyes were closed but Yuri hasn't lived with him these past years and not be able to tell when he was feigning sleep.
Fawns of ice was spreading out underneath Victor's body, stretching and disappearing somewhere in the darkness. That was new.
"Victor," Yuri called.
Victor didn't move, but Yuri knew he heard. Somehow the person inside Yuri's head was connecting the two of them. Yuri didn't know why, didn't understand the purpose, and he didn't care. Victor wasn't going to be anyone's fucking pawn.
"I know you can hear me, you damned fool," Yuri snapped impatiently, crossing his arms in front of him and suppressing a shiver.
It was like this time last time. Unbearably cold and he didn't have to guess on the cause. They were hurting Victor, playing with him, and Yuri was losing him because of it. Yuri refused to lose Victor.
Victor moved.
Blue eyes flickered open, a bright pulsing blue that made the temperature in the room drop several degrees. Yuri wasn't fazed. He hadn't feared Victor in a long time.
"You're a stupid, stupid man," Yuri screamed, anger coming easily for him, "Allowing yourself to become kidnapped like some distressed damsel."
Victor snorted, lips lifting upwards as he sat upright. He must have been on a bed, but Yuri couldn't see it. All he saw was Victor and that lifeless expression void of anything humane or good or Victor. Yuri would've kicked him again, if he wasn't afraid of losing him to the darkness again.
"You said that last time," Victor informed him coldly, "I must say you are quite convincing. You even have his moodiness."
Yuri's spine bristled as he straightened his shoulders and managed, "I am not moody."
Victor snorted like he was amused. He wasn't so Yuri figured that meant he still didn't believe Yuri was himself.
What have they done to you Vitya?
"You were so young," Victor admitted, "I'm sorry I couldn't have saved you."
Something leaden sunk in Yuri's stomach. He felt the bottom of it drop, plummeting down to his shoes and it wasn't the first time he felt anger bubbling up at the unfairness of this world. Users were prosecuted and were still saddled with the responsibility of saving everyone.
"Like I need saving from an idiot like you," Yuri growled, channeling his anger in his voice in hope that Victor would hear it and remember because Yuri wasn't sure he could do this without him.
Victor's chuckle was harsh and dry as he folded his hands together and stared down at them. His eyes had shifted from hard to sad. Two emotions Yuri never wished upon Victor's face- even before when Victor had been so cruel.
"You never seemed to have needed my protection. You were always so strong, so resilient and I forgot that you were still human. A young one at that," Victor said, "and when you needed me most I wasn't there, and I'm sorry for that."
Yuri straightened his spine and squared his shoulders as he claimed boldly, "You want to be there for me Vitya? Stop whatever this is. You're not your ability so quit acting like it."
The words must have sprung something inside Victor's head- if there was anything left at all- as his head snapped up and blue eyes widened. It wasn't surprise Yuri saw in them however. It was something else.
"Koneko-chan," Victor breathed.
Yuri's shoulders slumped at the nickname. The fact Victor had said it in Russian meant that his mind really was fracturing. Teetering dangerously on an edge only Victor could see and feel. Yuri was determined to pull him back all the same.
Yuri smiled softly as he nodded and agreed, "Yeah, Victor. It's me."
Victor rose to his feet, eyes never leaving Yuri's. They were soft and hopeful and Yuri steeled himself for what he knew was coming.
"Yura?" Victor demanded, voice returning from the void as his eyes looked at him with a different expression than before.
Yuri nodded as his head started to spin. The darkness blurred, swirling around Victor. It darkened out his pale features, making his blue eyes shift back to that ugly dark color. Yuri wanted to reach out and slap that look from his face.
He didn't, though. He stood rooted to the spot as the darkness started to consume him. It shifted to the ants, biting at his soft flesh and slowly started to swallow him whole. He couldn't even scream- couldn't move- as he stared at Victor across the darkness.
"Yuri? What happened? Where are you?" Victor demanded, ignorant to the ants crawling over Yuri.
Yuri found his voice enough to manage, "I'm with Otabek. We're going to find you."
"No!" Victor shouted, jumping to his feet.
Yuri couldn't see his feet however. Not when the shadows were eating at his feet, but still Victor moved like he couldn't feel it. Couldn't see it.
"No," Victor repeated as Yuri stared wide-eyed at him, "Stay where you are. I'm fine, Yura. I promise."
Yuri wanted to protest. Wanted to call Victor dumb, shake his head in denial- to do anything useful. Instead he could only stare frozen and wild eyed as the darkness swallowed Victor.
"Yuri!" Victor shouted before Yuri bolted upright, Isabella standing at the side of his bed.
Yuri frowned up at her. This wasn't right. His mind was too sluggish to pinpoint what exactly was wrong, but he knew it wasn't right.
He opened his mouth- maybe to demand answers from her or perhaps to ask what was wrong with him- but it got stuck in his throat. He could only stare back at her.
"Get up," she ordered as she drug him from the bed by his bicep, "Get up, Yuri. They're here. They've found us."